!!!Warning...there are still typos in there. I tried to get them all
but I am a girl without a spellchecker at the moment so there
might be a few left. If you are someone that doesn't read a story
because of mistakes you better wait for the repost.
Second Warning...this story contains a gay or in other words
homosexual relationship.
Do not like.
Do NOT read
Makes us both much happier.
And third but not last
Thanks so much Emma for your suggestion and your mail!! They were both great!
Title: Not all dreams are illusion
Author: Strange Music
Fandom: The A-Team
Pairing: Murdock/male (it is someone of the Team but I leave it
open to who it is. Like to surprise people) and Amy/OFC
Rating: PG13
Summary: And attempt of Stockwell to get rid of Frankie and
Murdock doesn't really work. Or maybe works only to well.
Email: Strange_music@hotmail.com
Series/Sequel: Can't say at the moment. There are no current
ideas but as everything in life that might change.
Web Page: Still working...or better still offline.
Disclaimer: Do not own any of the team or the people that help
them (or don't help them) they all belong to Stephen J. Channel
Warnings: I might sent a warning because of unconventional
pairing ahead ;) Especially People at A-Slash might proceed
with caution. Don't want to find myself being hunted down the
VA Corridors ;)
So have fun and hopefully enjoy it.
Not all dreams are illusion
By Strange Music
Murdock knew that something was wrong the second he stepped
inside the house that the team had lived in ever since they had
started *working* for Stockwell. If it wasn't for the tense
features they all carried. Then it would have been for the frown
that Hannibal wore.
Or for the fear that was in Frankie's face when he looked at the
rest of the team.
They hadn't seen him yet.
"Since when Frankie?" it was Face who was apparently the
calmest of them.
"Since when what?" he knew that it was time to step in.
What he didn't expect was the look of unadulterated relieve on
Frankie's face.
"Murdock!"
"Murdock...what is going on here" it was B.A. that talked over
Frankie.
"Calm down B.A." looking around "actually calm down all of
you."
When the tension seemed to be gone a bit more be continued
"And now what happened."
There wasn't any answer just a few pictures that Hannibal held
out to him.
And when he took them in his hands he didn't know for a
moment whether or not to laugh or to shout.
He looked aver to Frankie "Stockwell?"
Frankie only nodded.
He looked through them. And if he wouldn't have actually know
the story behind them he assumed that he would have caught the
same conclusion as seemingly the rest of the Team had.
One showed him and Frankie joking around they heads close
together.
One shown him as he brushed his hand over Frankie's cheek.
Looking like a lover's touch what had only been him cleaning
some ice-cream away.
One where Frankie was leaning back in Murdock's arms. Playful
wrestling pictures just in the right moment to make it look like a
lovers embrace.
And last but not least. The one where Murdock kissed Frankie.
You couldn't see the air that had been between their lips. Or the
girls that they where teasing.
"What happened here Captain?" it was Hannibal again
seemingly waiting for an answer.
"Nothing. They are fake." That was all he state before handing
back the pictures to Hannibal.
"Okay"
"That was all?" Frankie didn't seemed to be so happy about
Hannibal's acceptance of Murdock's statement. "I felt like I was
talking for my life here and all he needed to say was that it
wasn't true. That's not fair Johnny!" he left the room without a
gaze back.
Murdock wanted to follow him. He and Frankie had slowly
started to become friends in the last time. But he knew that first
he had to make things clear with the team.
"So any of you three to tell me what this is supposed to be
about." He looked at them "and exactly why were you all so
upset."
"It was just that we thought that.....okay. We were upset about
Stockwell and thought that Frankie had helped him in some
way. But as you didn't seemed to be upset we knew that it was
just Stockwell yanking our chain again."
Murdock nodded "I thought that it wasn't what was on the
picture. For that I know you all to well."
"You know that it wouldn't be a problem if you where lover?"
Face threw in.
"Yes Face" Murdock smiled grateful "but we aren't."
And with this the conversation turned to other topics.
He thought it to be finished but it was only three days later that
the same pictures made their life difficult again.
*~*~*~*
It was the morning of the third days. That the ringing of the
phone woke Murdock out of his sleep. Stretching over he turned
of the alarm clock that would otherwise had gone of only a few
minutes later anyway.
Only barley making out the phone with his sleepy eyes he
reached out an picked up the receiver.
"H.M. Murdock cryogenic department. Sleep where no one will
wake you. Please take a number and state it after the sound.
Hiiiiiiissssssssss."
"Murdock this is Amy and I know you are on the phone."
He could hear the laughter in her voice and he felt his own smile
appear. "You know me too well kid." Sitting up against the bed
he calculated how much time he would have before he would be
late for work. And then calculated if the job was really worth the
worry. As he was still deciding he continued the conversation
"How are you? How is the job. How is life"
"Great and Great and Perfect." She was really sounding happy
"But I am not calling about me. I am calling about you. Tell me
I am not the first with congratulation."
He sat up...a lot more awaken now.
Rubbing his eyes. "What are you talking about?"
"The pictures....I got them and I an happy that you found
someone to share you life with."
That was all it took. After that he was wide awaken now.
"Amy listen kid. If you are talking about what I think you are
talking. Then I don't think that this is wise if we continue this
conversation over the phone."
Stunned silence about the direction that the conversation had
taken was all that greeted him.
"You still live where you where the last time we met?"
"Yes...Murdock what is going on?"
"I tell you then."
Telling her that the phone was bugged wouldn't be a clever
draw.
She was seemingly surprised about his change in conversation.
But as all that known him over the years accepted it without any
question.
"All right Murdock."
"Bye Amy."
"Bye...Murdock...see you."
He sat up in his bed. Once more contemplating how much he
truly valued his job at the shopping center. The money was
passable but it somehow squeaked him to have a 20 year old
telling him what to do. Especially if this 20 years old thought he
was god himself coming down to earth.
But actually that wasn't important now. Important was to find
out more about theses picture. What Stockwell took them for.
And what he planned to accomplish with them.
*~*~*~*
Frankie looked surprised to see him at this time of the day.
Maybe it was that normally he arrived later at the house.
Or that that it was that he normally didn't arrived without a
reason or a phone call.
Or maybe it was because he was looking at Frankie through his
window.
He knocked again as Frankie was still blinking at him tired.
Civilian...Murdock smiled as he looked at him. He knew that the
rest of the Team would probably react differently if he should
arrived at their window. Probably that was also the reason why
he didn't do it again after the first time. As much as he wanted to
get back Face for all the years that he had appeared at his
windows in the VA at variable hours of the night or dawn. As
little did he plan on almost falling from the second floor window
that Face now lived in.
He knocked again.
"Open up Franks.."
On this he finally stood up and opened the window for Murdock
to slip in. Just as the same was about to regret not wearing
anything more than a T-Shirt under his jacket.
"Murdock....what are you doing here...at this hour of the
Morning?"
"Frankie it is 9 o'clock. Hardly and early hour by far."
Holding up a hand to mask up his yawn Frankie looked at
Murdock "Not if you went to bed at 6:00 o'clock. But I assume
that you are not here just to say *Hi*"
"As much as I wished that it wasn't so I have to say that it isn't."
Sinking back Frankie seemed to brace himself for bad the news
that he knew would follow.
"I got a phone call today. Actually it were two."
"Nothing good I guess?"
"Well the first one was. A friend of mine calling...she was
congratulating me.."
Frankie looked confused for a moment "For what did she" then
it dawned on him quickly "Oh shit!"
"Yes...seems like Uncle Hunt sent our snapshots to more than
just the Team."
"In danger of repeating myself.....Shit" he rubbed his hands in
front of his face. Like Murdock today he didn't seemed to be
tired at all anymore.
"You know why Murdock?"
"So far I can only guess." And it was true. He knew why
Stockwell would like to see him out of the Team. Too bad that
he had counted on the Team being homophobic when they
weren't. Because he knew that this was what he had tried to
accomplish with the picture. Murdock knew that Stockwell
didn't like him for a lot of things. Especially the fact that
Murdock knew more about him that Stockwell liked. And the
fact that Murdock actually as the only one of the team seemed to
be able to yank Stockwell's chain. Something not many people
knew how to do. He knew that these where pretty good reason.
But for Frankie he could only assume. Probably Stockwell
thought Frankie use for him was no longer present. He couldn't
take him as traitor anymore because Frankie knew that
Stockwell couldn't harm him as long as he had the Team as his
backup.
This would have been a great way to get rid of both of them.
Without having the team at his back and without loosing the
Team with them.
And all because he had made a joke.
"And the second?"
"What?" Frankie's voice caught him out of his thoughts.
"You said two phone calls. What was the second."
"It was my father telling me that I should rot in hell" he heard
the pain echo through his voice. Even when he hadn't talked
with his father in years it still had hurt to hear the person he still
loved in a way having only contempment for him. Maybe it was
because somewhere deep inside he had still held the hope of
reconciliation with his father some day. After the trouble. But he
assumed that this particular dream was over now.
"I am sorry Murdock" and Murdock could hear that he meant it.
A shocked second as he could see the realization sinking in.
"You think that...."
Murdock only nodded.
"Oh Shit."
*~*~*~*
It was hours later that they were on the way.
Thanks to Face sweet talk to the girl at the post office they now
knew who exactly had gotten a letter.
Amy
Tanya
Frankie's brother and parent's
And Murdock's brother and father.
They had decided that the situation was not one to clear over the
telephone. Still as Murdock looked at the list he felt a certain
reluctance in talking with his father. But that would be
something they could talk about later.
Their first destination was now Amy. Being able to avoid Tanya
as the letter sent to her had returned unopened. Marked "Return
to Sender - Addressee moved ".
A fact that the nice girl at the post office would never let
Stockwell know as Face talked he into letting the letter
disappear. And he still had gotten a date out of it as well.
Some guys are just lucky.
He leaned back in the car. Frankie was driving for the next hour.
And it was his time to either think or sleep. At the moment he
was at first.
If not for the circumstances he might have looked forward a lot
more seeing Amy again. They had stayed in contacted through
the years and where still pretty good friends.
But they had not seen each other for years. When she would
have had the time Murdock was with the team and when
Murdock had time she was on a case. But holding contacted
over phone calls had worked pretty good as well.
If for nothing else it was seemingly the only good thing coming
out of all of this.
*~*~*~*
7 hours later they arrived at the house that Amy had now been
living in for the last 2 years. Murdock recognized it immediately
from the pictures she had sent them. And even without pictures
he would have recognized her. Standing there she was smiling at
him brightly.
And the next thing he knew he was taken into an embrace that
would have made Ba proud.
She greeted Frankie as well but in a more formal and rather
distant matter. No matter how much Murdock had told her about
him. For her he was still a stranger.
"Come in" she smiled as they followed her into the house.
*~*~*~*
Amy looked at the two man sitting in front of her. She didn't
know this Frankie. But she had very much memories of
Murdock. Enough to read him in the way he sat there. And she
knew this gaze. It showed of a lot of thoughts going on behind
in his mind.
It had been some time since she had been with the Team. But
this look was one of the things that she wouldn't forget for a
long time.
In between the insanity and the craziness there would be
moment of where she would have been able to watch his mind
drift and strife. Moment where he wouldn't be here at all.
Or all to much.
Moment where he would watch his Team members with eyes
that knew that he was trying. Trying for them to remember what
happened there. Knowing that it was for him that they were still
running. Only one memory that could take the guilt away from
them. Proving their innocent with it. And she could always see
the frustration when it still seemed to be a blank.
But now there was something more. She had seen both of their
eyes shift as they told her the tale. Of the picture an the reason
behind them.
That everything was innocent and a perfectly good reason that
explained them all, That they weren't lover. And she didn't want
to call them liar to their face. Yet at least one wasn't really true.
She could see Frankie's gaze during the parts that Murdock told.
His eyes hanging on the pilots words.
Murdock had the worry in his eyes. Seemed like that the other
that they had visit hadn't taken the news quiet so well. And he
was afraid that she would be one of them. Little did they know
But Frankie had the look of someone in love. And from the way
that his gazes where directed she knew that it was a certain
lanky pilot that she only knew to well.
Still she was happy about seeing Murdock again and being able
to talk Team that she wasn't looking a gifted horse in the mouth.
And as it got later it was only natural that she told them to better
not even think about a motel and presented them the
accommodation of her own home. Something that Murdock
smilingly accepted. And also Frankie thanked her for.
She was beginning to warm up to the young man. He wasn't like
the rest of the Team. But he was a nice guy on his own.
And so it was only natural that she went outside to talk with him
when she saw him sitting on the bench in the garden. Murdock
already snoring the house away there was also not much else to
do.
*~*~*~*
He hadn't heard her till she had almost stood in front of him.
As yet another proof as unlike the others in the Team he was.
There was not a single military bone in his body. And it was
painfully showing. No wonder that Stockwell wanted him of the
Team.
"Coke?"
She held out the can in front of him and he accepted it smiling.
"Thought I would come out and see how you are doing. You
seemed a bit lost."
Shrugging it off Frankie just smiled brightly and hoped that she
didn't notice how wrong it was.
"Why don't you tell him?"
"Tell him what?" 'Play stupid. There is no way that she knows.'
"Frankie. I am a journalist. And I am actually a very good one
without sounding too modest. I didn't get all this way without
learning to read people. And when you talked today I could
definitely read you very clear."
All he could do was stare at her.
"So I repeat. Why Don't you tell him?"
The laughter that was now on his face had no humor anymore
now. "You kidding. You mean beside the fact that I am so
different from them that I am only barley a part of them and
only barley accepted? You didn't see the Team that day. Or how
he just looked at them and declared them fake. With a face like I
seen it only rarely on him."
"Don't tell me you think the team was upset because of the
content of the picture?" He didn't know why she was smiling at
that question.
"I wouldn't hold it against them. They are military there
might..."
She laughed out loud and then turned into a giggle that seemed
to hold on till she held her stomach.
"Glad you find it amusing..." He didn't want to sound so bitter.
But somehow he just couldn't see the situation as funny as she
did.
"Frankie. Without going on about the gay politics in Military I
can assure you that the Team itself has no problems with love
between people of the same gender."
His brows scrunched together as he looked at her. Wanting to
believe her yet not really sure. She only smiled at his gaze and
then reached out to the keys that she kept on a chain. After a bit
of juggling she finally held a little photo that was attached to
them.
It was the one of a blond woman smiling into the camera.
"This is Kerry, by Florida law my wife"
And as she turned it around there was one of the rest of the
Team as they stood smiling at her side.
"And they where there."
Putting the keys back in her trouser.
"And this is why I know that they have no prejudice."
He didn't know what to say. Certainly he couldn't say that most
man didn't react to bad at two girls in love didn't actually also
react good to the same at men... So he just looked at her.
She smiled at him as she ruffled his hair. "I don't want to press
you into anything. And as much as I am able to read Murdock I
can't say that I know how he feels about you."
A sigh.
"I know...but don't close the barren before the horse are in."
He looked at her confused.
"Don't give up before you have tried."
And with that she left him back in the garden to think.
*~*~*~*
When they left the next morning Murdock could see that
something had passed between Frankie and Amy in the time that
he had slept. They was more friendliness and less distancing
between them. And out of some reason Frankie thanked her and
she smiled at him brightly.
When she came over to him she once again hugged him tightly
"I wish you could have stayed longer. Kerry would have loved
to see you again."
"But..."
"I know....places to go...people to meet."
"Yes. Give my love to Kerry."
"I will Murdock. And don't be a stranger."
"I won't."
And then there were back in the car. Only waving a few more
times till they were on the way to the next stop.
Frankie's brother.
*~*~*~*
"You think they have the pictures?"
"Most certainly.."
Another sigh.
It had been more than one hour since they had arrived at the
small house that Frankie brother lived in with his wife and kids.
Even thou he knew that he was only avoiding the unavoidable.
He hadn't know how long he had stared into nothingness when
he felt Murdock's hand on his shoulder. "No matter what
happens. You will always have the team as family."
And as he nodded he made his decision.
Reaching out for the door before he could change he mind.
"Let's get this show on the road."
*~*~*~*
The moment between knocking on the door and Frankie's
brother finally opening seemed to stretch for long. But nothing
felt like the eternity that passed between him opening the door
and finding Frankie there and his first words or expression.
The situation only resolved as two child formed missiles
attached themselves to their *Uncle Frankie*. For a moment
diverting the wordless that had spread between their father and
their uncle.
But Murdock knew that the situation couldn't be as bad as
Frankie had feared when David invited him inside with and
unsure but present smile.
"Jackie and Owen apparently took the first right at their uncle.
Might take a few minutes before they leave him out of their
clutches again. I can ask Sarah to make you some coffee in the
meantime. Or do you just drink tea. I mean I wouldn't want to
offend you by offering you coffee."
Outside Murdock smile friendly at David "Coffee is great"
Internally he sight at the apparently stumbled conversation. But
at least David was trying. For a moment Murdock thought about
how this situation would be if he and Frankie would really been
here to tell him about being a couple. And strangely the though
didn't feel as bizarre as he thought he would.
But before he could follow that thought any further Frankie was
back at his side.
"Frankie" another very uncertain smile "I just want to say that I
don't have any trouble with you choice...."
"It is not true..."
With a breath of relieve David sank into the chair behind him.
"Thank god. I mean I wouldn't mind you falling in love. It's just
that these pictures came so sudden. And after you told me so
much about the Team in you last few letters. I mean I wouldn't
have a problem with you being gay..."
"Like I said....nothing about these pictures is true so you can
stop worrying now." He said it with his trademark grin. Yet still
Murdock noticed a strange tightness that hadn't been there
before. Only that now was hardly the situation to talk about it.
*~*~*~*
The rest of the evening went by without much. The conversation
was pleasant and Murdock enjoyed playing with the kids while
the grownup talked. Owen and Jackie took and instant liking in
their new "Uncle Murdock."
But it was only at the goodbye that the happiness took a damper.
And Murdock hoped that Frankie hadn't seen the way David had
flinched while he had embraced him.
Yet now looking at him lying in the hotel bed opposite of him he
knew that his wishes hadn't been heard.
"It just takes time."
"I know...still it felt strange when he behaved so awkward."
Murdock nodded. He wished that Frankie would say more about
what troubled him. But he had fallen back into the silence. Only
broken when he stood up and announced that he would go for a
walk.
*~*~*~*
Frankie knew that Murdock was worried about him. But he just
wasn't the person that he needed to talk to right now. Not with
the other problem still there.
And that's why he took out the number he had gotten only
shortly before and dialed it.
The phone was picked up on the third ring.
"Allen-Daily hello" Not knowing the voice he assumed that it
must be Kerry.
"I'd like to speak with Amy."
"Will do. Hold on a second."
Then a few moment later the familiar voice of Amy appeared on
the phone. "Frankie! How did it go with your brother?"
"Good and bad at the same time."
"As in?"
"We told him that it wasn't true and he said that he would have
accepted me even when I would have been gay. Yet he sounded
so relieved when I told him that I wasn't...and..."
"You felt like you lied to him even when you thought it was
better that way. "
Leaning back in the phone booth he just nodded only at last
second noting that she wouldn't be able to see it.
"And he is awkward around me. Didn't kiss me goodbye and
also the hug felt as if didn't know whether he wanted to hug me
close or hold me at arm length."
"Don't worry. When I told my mother years ago she didn't know
what to talk with me for a month. Seemingly I crashed all her
nice plans of me being a nice wife for a man that would take
care of me. For whom I would cook and sew the clothing. And
for whom I would stay at home to take care his children. I know
that part of her dreams was her hoping that I would give up
being a reporter. A job that she had always been afraid would
kill me one day. And the rest......is a long story. But the line is
that after some awkward she accepted it. And she accepted
Kerry....in time. I don't know you brother and I don't know how
he will react. But maybe you should talk with Murdock. I am
sure he is worried about you."
Seemingly the shocked gasp and lack of an answer didn't
surprise her.
"No I have not become telepathic but Murdock called me a few
minutes before you did. That's why I know. And now talk with
him. He cares about you."
"I will and thanks" and with that he hung the phone up again and
returned to the hotel room.
*~*~*~*
Murdock let out a sigh of relief the moment Frankie stepped
back through the hotel room.
He had slowly but steadily been worried more and more.
Plugging down on the bed Frankie didn't say anything for the
first few minutes.
Then silently
"Sorry"
"Never mind"
"No I didn't mean to worry you."
This confused Murdock but realization didn't take long. "Amy?"
"The one and same."
"Oh...."
"She told me to talk with you."
"And will you....?"
A sigh, followed by the shaking of his head. But not like a way
of saying no but rather of if not really sure.
Murdock looked over to Frankie as he sat on the motelbed.
Seemingly still thinking. With an expression that didn't make it
look like he was really happy about whatever he was thinking
about.
"Frankie? Are you okay?"
"Yes..I am okay" He truly seemed to make it sound genuine. But
Murdock knew that it wasn't.
Smiling as to take the sting that his words otherwise would have
held he simply said "Then why doesn't it sound that way."
Leaning back at the wall behind his back Frankie let out a sigh
before looking at Murdock.
"It is just with everything that went on I was thinking about
trying to talk with Stockwell about another assignment."
Drawing his eyebrows together Murdock knew that he looked as
confused as he felt.
"Why..You can't say that you are bored enough with the Team
to join two of Stockwell's funpartys?"
For a moment Frankie's eyes closed as if he wasn't sure how to
say what comes next. "I was thinking about changing the Team.
I mean the reason why I stared out there are no longer valued.
After all you guys know now that I was the one that helped him.
And certainly he will not be able to use me like this again. As
for you guys. I am sure you won't be ??angry?? at being only 4
again."
The look in his eyes was serious "I do not belong with you guys.
Not in your Team."
"Frankie..." he wasn't sure what arguments to bring against but
he knew that he had to try.
Especially for the pain that he could see in Frankie's eyes.
Althou quickly hidden by a look of resolvement it still had been
there. As if this was something he had thought about for some
time.
Even before the pictures.
Yet maybe the way the Team had reacted to the pictures had
been the reason that he finally spoke those words out aloud.
"Look Murdock. I know that you are looking for the right words
to say. But there aren't any. It is the best for you for me and for
the Team." He smiled shakingly. "After all it is not that I can
contribute anything that any of the Team couldn't do."
There was a smile but it held no true humor.
"I mean the only thing that I am good at it blowing things up and
even there BA is better. And you are the A-Team. I am just the
guy that Stockwell forced upon you."
"Frankie..." he said it softly, waiting till he knew that he had
Frankie's attention. "You are no burden to the Team. Not ever. I
mean sure in the beginning there were kind of suspicious about
you. And I agree that I don't know what Stockwell had put in
their coffee the day with the pictures. But I assure you that you
are no burden. If you were a burden Hannibal would have found
a way to get rid of you. He is the head of the Team and when he
thinks something is bad for the Team. No rules will make him
change his mind. If he let you stay on the Team he though that it
was alright."
"But"
"Same goes for BA and Face. If they think that Hannibal's
decision is not a wise one. They say so outright. There is no
softwalking around there in the Team. Thinks are said outright."
At least most of the time. But he knew that this wasn't
something that should be said. Still it was true..it would take a
long time to count all the times that anybody on the Team had
said words like 'This is insane Hannibal' it had summit to quit a
lot in the years that they had been together.
"But I am not like you. You are a Team. You are military. You
fought in a war together. You went through hell together. No
matter what you say. You 4 are the Team. I am just an intruder
that liked to play secret agent man for a little while."
"You are no more an intruder of the Team than Amy or Tania
was. Neither of them had been in military or faught in any other
war than the usual barou fights. Yet for the time being they had
been a part of the Team. And they are still a part of the family
even when they are no longer around. The same goes for you. It
doesn't matter if they only war you faught in was throwing
waterballons at your brother. You are still part of the Team."
"but..." Frankie look like he was truly caught in a decision. Not
knowing what to say. Not sure if he should say anyting at all.
And so Murdock made the decision for him. Leaning back on
the bed he reached out for the light.
"I think it is time that we should start sleeping. We have a long
drive tomorrow."
Then he reached out and turned off the lamp. Putting darkness
over the room.
"Murdock?" the voice was hesitant.
"hmm?"
"Thanks" Even when he didn't see it, it sounded like a bit of the
old Frankie smile was back in his Face.
"Think nothing of it comrade." he returned with a Texan lilt, but
turned serious for a small second. "Anytime Frankie, and I mean
it."
"Good night Murdock"
"Good night Frankie"
And before he fell asleep he allowed himself a smile of
happiness that Frankie would stay on the Team. He wouldn't
have wanted to see him go. And even when he wasn't really sure
about what he was feeling he knew that the reason was more
than just about not wanting to loose a guy that was becoming
another honorary member of the Team.
*~*~*~*
It was almost 9 o'clock before they took of to their destination.
But as the roads where a good drive they managed to arrived
before 4 o'clock at their destination.
Again Frankie stood back for a bit first having to draw enough
strength. But this time it didn't take quit as long.
"You sure." Murdock wasn't certain to interpret the look on
Frankie's face.
"I am sure Murdock. She is my mother. She will believe me.
Ever since I was a child she had known when I had been lying
and when I had told the truth. I hope that she will know it this
time too."
*~*~*~*
Still despite his brave words it took him a few minutes of
breathing before he reached out to the door.
And then it was as if nothing had happened. His mother opening
the door. Embracing him with a happy shout. And smiling at
Murdock as well. "Come in come in boys. I have been doping
that you would have a look by. David called me a yesterday.
And told me everything"
"Mum..."
"Why don't you take a seat I have made some things you will
like."
"Mum...."
He felt a hand on his shoulder ad as he followed it he looked
into Murdock eyes who shook his head.
"Let her do whatever she does right now. We can as well talk
with her later as well. Enjoy dinner till then. "
Frankie nodded and sat down.
*~*~*~*
However the talking had to take a lot more time than just after
dinner. At least in Frankie's case Murdock though smilingly as
he looked over at the now peacefully sleeping man.
Then as he looked up he saw Frankie's mother as she motioned
him out on the terrace.
He took the coffee that she offered him with a smile and then sat
down opposite of her.
"Frankie told me a lot about you and your friends. Yet every
time he talks with me I get the feeling that I am not hearing the
whole story."
"They are necessary.....in order to protect you" and silently he
added and not to worry you too much.
"I know...but still it worries me to know that he is out there in
danger the whole time. Because if it wouldn't be dangerous there
wouldn't be any need to protect me or anybody else."
Murdock nodded inside. She was right there. But still there
wasn't much else that he could do to assure her.
"Could you take care of my boy."
"Of course ma'am. I take care of all my friends."
"That is good" she smiled relieved "Because he cares a lot about
you too."
This puzzled him "Ma'am? You do know that we are no couple?
That these picture were not what they appeared to be?"
She laid a hand on his shoulder and made sure that he was
looking in her eyes as she continued. "I know what I seen in
those pictures. I saw that my son is very happy. And that he and
you are having a fun time. Whether the reason now for this is
because you are lovers or simply friends I don't care. As long as
you don't hurt him. I wouldn't think about saying anything
against it."
And somehow Murdock felt that despite that she was talking
about friendship she was still giving him the ok for a
relationship as well. Telling him that she would accept it. He
didn't dare to talk back and just nodded. Still wondering what
the woman had seen. It was true that during their trip Murdock
had started to look at Frankie with other eyes. But still...
It was Frankie's sleepy voice that that caught him out of his
thoughts.
As he leaned at the door to the terrace and looked at them both.
"I was wondering where you went."
And if intended he caught the gaze that told him that it was now
Frankie's turn for a little talk.
*~*~*~*
Frankie didn't know what to say when he felt the strong gaze of
his mother rest on him. It wasn't a gaze that he was used to
feeling on him when he hadn't done anything wrong.
"So he doesn't know that you care about him."
"Mum I told you it was a....."
He felt a hand connect with his head and as he looked up he
looked into the scolding eyes of his mother.
"I am not stupid. I know that the pictures where fake. Would
have known even without you telling me." She leaned back in
her chair "What *I* am talking about is what I seen here. And
from that I know that at least one of you is in love with the
other."
"Mum...."
"Don't you even think about lying."
That shut up Frankie for good. Especially since he didn't know
how to tell her that she was right.
*~*~*~*
Frankie looked up when he heard the windows softly creaking.
A bit surprised to see Murdock appear behind him.
It had been only been 3 hours since Murdock had announced
that he would go to bed. Hardly enough time to consider it a
goodnights sleep.
Frankie knew that he should sleep too. But somehow he still felt
too keyed up. And actually he wanted to spent some time just
sitting on the terrace. It had been some time since he had spent
the night at his mothers place and he had missed sitting here.
"Everything all right?" It was the first thing that came into his
mind.
"Yes...Just couldn't sleep. Slept too much in the car today and I
never was a longsleeper. I was just about to get me a glass of
water when I saw you out there." Murdock sat down in the chair
at his side. "Actually the reason I came out here was because I
wanted to ask you the same."
"I am all right. Just wallowing in childhood memories. I used to
come out here a lot when I was a child. It was my place to find
peace."
Murdock smiled. Leaning back as he let his gaze rest on the
view.
"I can understand. It looks pretty peaceful around here.
Especially since it is not actually in the town."
Frankie nodded. Maybe it was the place or simply the fact today
had gone so well. That made him almost giddy with relive.
He looked at Murdock and then pointed to the trees that could
be seen only a few yards away. "You see those two over there?"
When Murdock nodded he continued. "When I was younger I
would look at them before I would fall asleep. The one at the
right always looked too me like the wolf from 'The wolf and the
three pigs.' and the one at the left was the pig he was chasing.
Cause every time when there was wind, even slightly, the wolf
would chase the pig. As he would lean forward to catch it and
the pig would pull away just at the right time."
He smiled at the memories but turned a bit more serious as he
continued "I was always scared that something bad would
happen the day the wolf finally caught the pig." Actually he still
did. But that wasn't something to say out aloud. After all he was
grown up now. Or at least he was considered grown-up because
of his age. Others might be in different option about it.
"Frankie.." Murdock's voice held a tome of amusement "I would
love to sent this to an old friend of ours. Decker. But I don't
think he will see it the way we do."
Frankie nodded. The Team had told him about Decker. Since the
days in Langly where sometimes long and funny stories were a
good way to pass time.
"It is really quiet here. Only at night you can here the sound of
the trains going through the trainstation. And you can see the
stars...all you have to do is lay back your head."
When he looked down again he caught Murdock looking at him
with a strange expression in his eyes. "What?" it was only a soft
question not an inquiring one.
"Somehow It seems like I find out just how little you really
talked about your life before the team."
He knew what Murdock meant, but he just shrugged. "It had
actually never occurred to me. After all my homelife was hardly
any worth talking about. Not when it is compared to what you
and Hannibal, Face and BA did. I mean the time I was sitting
here gazing at the stars. You were in a foreign country fighting
for your life's."
"You used to look at the stars?"
Frankie felt himself smile. "Didn't think I was that kind of guy?
But actually I did. My father taught me all about them. And I
would know almost all of them. I would look at the stars and see
the big bear and the little one. And I would see The three stars
that built the belt of Orion...even his sword. But it was
sometimes ago. Now I hardly remember any of them. I guess
along the way I stopped stargazing...don't know when" But
actually he knew. It was the day that all hell broke loose in his
life. Like an earthquake that shook his life ?fundament?
"What happened?"
It was scary how well Murdock seemed to know him.
"Dad left us. I mean he wasn't gone. But he didn't life with us
anymore and every time that I looked up I remembered how
much I missed him. I didn't hate him. He and Mum just....they
just couldn't live together anymore. But it was like I woke up
one morning and everything around me had changed."
He hadn't expected any answers still he made a pause. "He
wasn't a father right out of the TV. He had his faults. But then
again show me a human being that hasn't. When we would pick
from his plate he used to get angry. Yet did the same on our
plates. And he used to be upset sometimes because we were
disturbing him while watching the news. But he also would take
me and my brother to the museum and would tell us stories. He
knows a lot of them. True stories. About things that really
happened. Or we would sit in front of the TV and watch a
science show. Even back then I had been fascinated about
technical and chemical and how to use them.
The memories flew unbound now and he could actually feel
again a bit of the pain that he had felt back then. Yes, he still
loved his father not any less than he had back then. And he
knew that when this was over that it would be time to call him
again. Maybe visit. After all it had been too long since the last
time.
"What about your dad?" he asked Murdock.
But Murdock only shrugged either not feeling like talking...or
simply not wanting to talk about his father.
Frankie leaned his head back. Looking at the stars once again as
he had all those years ago. Trying to find the things that he had
seen there.
But he couldn't.....all he saw were four stars and neither belt nor
sword.
Then just as he was about to let the disappointment wall over
him he felt something at his shoulder. Apparently the oh so
insomniac Murdock had found sleep after all. Now leaning
against his shoulder with a soft snore. And as he looked down he
felt a warm smile appear. Wasn't it strange how watching
someone sleep could make you smile sometimes.
And when he leaned his had back to look at the sky. For a small
moment he saw the big bear and the small one playing.
*~*~*~*
It was the next day in another hotel room that they sat in.
Frankie strangely quiet for the fact that everything had gone so
well. Only lying on his bed staring at nothing particular.
"Frankie?"
"It is nothing Murdock. Just leave me to think a bit."
And Murdock did.
Yet when he heard slight sniffing and saw Frankie's shoulders
shacking that he did go over nevertheless. There were no words
as he lay down beside him and embraced him. Neither of him
nor of Frankie. Just the fact that he was there.
Later when He had calmed down it was finally that Frankie
seemed collected enough to talk again.
Drying his eyes with his sleeve he smiled a bit at the Murdock
as he rolled his eyes.
"Sorry. Nerves I guess. I have been so stung up about everything
that it just came down on me."
"I was worried that it had been something that your mother
said."
Frankie tried to look in fake horror. "What you mean you didn't
listen in on us?"
Swatting him playfully over the head "No I didn't!"
Holding his head Frankie looked at him "Somehow that doesn't
convince me at all."
But he willingly when back into Murdock's open arms. Liking
the warmth he felt there. Content with it even if only in
friendship.
Neither of them realized as they slowly slipped into sleep. Still
in the embrace.
*~*~*~*
When Murdock woke up the next morning it took him a few
seconds till he remembered why he was lying in this bed. And
mostly why his arms where still wrapped around Frankie who
was sleeping the sleep of the just.
But nothing surprised him as much as the feeling of happiness
that he felt. As if this was a position that he could actually come
to like.
But just before his thoughts could go any further he felt Frankie
wake up.
Blinking at him it also seemed to take him a few moments to
remember. As he did he blinked at him sheepishly. "Guess I fell
asleep. Sorry"
Yet his lake of movement out of the embrace somehow made his
statement not seem quiet as true.
"It is the last one today."
"Yes. Dad and my brother. Not really sure if I should count it as
lucky to have them live at the same place."
And as they untangled themselves they both felt as if they
wouldn't have minded a few more minutes.
As if they known that the worst was to come.
*~*~*~*
"Dad! Now listen to me!"
"I always knew it. Hanging around with those guys all the time"
"These pictures are not what they appear to be."
"So you say that you and this guy aren't into each other and you
are exclusive with the others?"
"I am saying that I am into none of them!"
"I always knew that you were different. I thought sending you of
to Vietnam would take care of that."
Murdock threw his hands in the air in desperation "I am just
here to talk with you and if possible talk with Eric"
"Eric doesn't want to talk with you. And neither doesn't anybody
else of this family. It would be better if you never appear here
anytime soon. "
"I want to hear it from him. I want to hear it from Eric himself
that he doesn't want to see me again"
"He doesn't want to see you. And now leave!"
Frankie wanted to hold Murdock back from standing up. But he
was to late. He had already jumped up trying to storm in the
door that was behind his father. Frankie didn't know how he was
sure that his brother was behind there somewhere of if he was
simply trying the best chance. Yet where he wasn't quick enough
someone else was. And before Frankie could see the older
Murdock had gotten hold of Murdock's shirt and was leveling
him to the floor. The surprise aiding the man and he pulled
Murdock of balance and shove him to the floor hard. "HE is my
brother! I have right to see him!"
"I have no queer son. So you are not my son. And Eric isn't you
brother. You are a stranger to us. Leave. Or I am forced to call
the police. NOW!"
"You have no right!"
A cold glance was in the older mans eyes as he proclaimed with
a mocking smile "You are wrong, my dear boy. I have ALL the
right."
Frankie went over to the place where pilot still sat on the floor
an, taking his arms to help him up. The look that Murdock threw
at him was so lost that Frankie had to fight the urge to hug him
right there. But he knew that it wouldn't help the situation.
"Let's go Murdock."
"But Eric?" The voice was pleading to Frankie. As if it was in
his power to change the situation.
"Listen Murdock. There is nothing that you can do. He is right .
He *HAS* right! Let's go."
He pulled the almost trancelike man up from the floor. The eyes
of the pilot so dazed that he wasn't sure if he was even there
with them. But he obeyed Frankie like a puppet to its Master and
followed him.
Out of the room.
The door.
The house.
Leaving behind a life that in reality had ended many years ago.
***~~~***
When they reached the Motel Room Murdock was still very
quiet and subdued but moving on his own without Frankie to
lead him. But he spoke no word when he crossed the room to sit
on the bed. Absentminded laying his hand in to his neck. A
puzzled expression on his face. And a scary look of clarity when
he pulled it forward and found it smeared with blood.
For a moment Frankie hadn't even seen the reason for the look.
till he followed it down to the hand, Feeling the anger boil inside
Frankie went over to the still starring pilot. Only half managing
to keep it hidden when he draw the hand to take a look at it. It
wasn't much blood but enough to take a closer look. Laying a
hand on his shoulder he asked for permission, Which was given
with the slight nod of the head before it was bowed down to give
him better access. To his relief it turned out to be small and far
from being serious. Yet big enough that it certainly must have
hurt. "Didn't you feel this?" he asked puzzled. Murdock only
shook his head slightly and shrugged. "Didn't feel much of
anything back then."
He tried to give the head back up but Frankie softly pushed him
down again. "Wait a bit. I'll take care of that one. I might not be
a Med like Hannibal but I am good at taking care of those little
wounds"
"First Aid training?"
"No just a rough time when I started my SFX Training"
The soft chuckle that he heard took away a lot of his anger.
"However there *were* times where I looked like someone had
used *me* for first aid training " He stood up from the bed to go
to the bathroom and get the things needed.
Bandages....Disinfecting....Hansaplast. Always while looking
into the room if Murdock was still holding his head down. "Just
be happy that it doesn't need stitches. I badly failed that class at
school. " Another laughter and Frankie could see that the tension
flowing out of the other man's shoulders. Then when he had all
that he needed he came back. Sitting again down at Murdock's
side. Pushing the hair up do get better access to the wound for
cleaning it up. A bit warm water before the harsh reality of
disinfections would come.
And it worked, beside a small hiss there was no more sign of
discomfort .
For the next few moment he was so taken up in his tasks that he
didn't feel the tension returning into Murdock's shoulders but
after laying the last layer of the bandage he could see it.
"Am I finished?" a muffled voice asked.
"Not yet." and then seemingly without any second though he
moved behind Murdock and started kneading the tension out of
him .
There was a short surprised turn of the head but nothing more.
And the after a while Frankie felt the Murdock lean back more
and more.
A soft moan was heard as the muscle under his finger turned
slowly into butter. And then as if it was the most natural thing to
do Murdock leaned back in his arms and Frankie slung Then
around him to close them on his chest.
Again it was a subdued voice that whispered
"You think he hates me"
'I wish I knew ' Frankie thought feeling the pain right from the
pilot, "I wish I knew what he thought. Then I could know why
he was able to hurt his own son like that. Maybe he was just
shocked"
The head in front of him shock 'no' "I mean Eric. Do you think
that he hates me like my father said. Is was it just something that
he made up to hurt mend get me away from the family "
"Well if I were you I would ask him myself." A sight, and as
strange as it might seemed Frankie was happy that seemingly he
had given the right answer.
"So you don't think he hates me?"
Frankie laughed shortly but without much humor. "Till I met
that old bastard that you call father ...no offence "
"You really what me to answer that?"
"No...but I still thought it was friendly to say. Well before that I
didn't think that there was anybody that could hate you. I mean
even with all the trouble that you and B.A. have he still loves
you like a brother. And the same for Face and Hannibal.
Anyway ...I didn't think that there was anybody that could hate
you. "
"Not even you? After all it was my joke that got us into all these
trouble. And now your brother is sure how to talk with you
maybe never will . There might always be this rift . And much
more, as we haven't talked to you father yet. He might react the
same way as mine. "
Frankie just shook his head. "First of all, I don't think my father
will react like that. There had been too many things in my life
that he accepted. He even forgave me the day that I was brought
home by the police because I had stolen and Wrecked a Police
car. And I was 14 back then."
A pause
"Second. I could never hate you. no matter what you do. Never.
No matter what you do." The body in his arms shifted and he
found himself looking into two curious brown eyes. Looking so
lost, that for a moment he forgot everything else as found
himself sinking into then.
"Why?"
The question was so sudden that it took him by surprise.
"Why what?"
"Why could you never hate me?"
The eyes kept holding his own, as they waited for his answer
and he felt a smile creep up his lips "Don't you know?"
And as if it was the most natural thing to do, he leaned forward
and planted a soft kiss on Murdock's lips. For a moment all he
felt was good. The sweet tease of the lips and their soft texture
under his own. However then the rational part of his mind
piped in and for a moment he felt the fear of that he had gone to
far. He closed his eyes. Not willing to see any sign of
disappointment or anger.
Till a soft voice reached his ear.
"I guess I *do* know"
And when he opened his eyes there was no sign of disapproval
just a smile.
Just a knowing smile that only disappeared when he felt himself
being drawn forward into a other kiss. A lot deeper and longer
than the first one. Whipping away any further doubts that there
might have been.
No more question.
Just answers.
***~~~***
***************
At first he wasn't sure where to put the persistent noise that
reached his ear. It was only a few moments later that he
connected it with the sound of someone knocking at the Motel
room door.
Moaning he untangled himself from Murdock's hand and stood
up to open it. All the while contemplating who might want what
at this time of the day.
A question that was even more present when the who was
answered in form of a police officer looking at him from the
other side of the door. It couldn't really be that Murdock father
had truly called the police about them. That would have
been....actually...wouldn't be so strange at all.
"Officer?" It was now that he realized that the Officer wasn't
even looking at him. But gazing right at Murdock who was
looking back with a blank expression.
"Hi Henry" it seemed to have sounded more casual but only
turned out forced.
"Hi Eric"
*~*~*~*
Murdock sat up as Frankie stepped aside to let Eric walk in.
Without any word sitting down beside him.
"How did you...."
"Find you?....Find out what happened?...Feel about it?"
"Actually all. But I am not so sure."
Before another word Eric leaned over and embraced Murdock in
a tight embrace. Not saying anything and actually not needing
to. When they had been younger there had been times like that.
When all they would needed was too look at each other and
know what the other was thinking. It had only been in later years
that the connection had been more apart but never gone
completely.
When they parted Murdock felt a bit better "Well how did I find
out...." Eric laughed without real humor. "Dad came to me last
night. Drunk to the gills. It took me 5 minutes till I found out
what he wanted to tell me. Scared the hell out of Joan. But then
he finally told me. About the pictures he had gotten. And how
he took the letter addressed to me before I could see it. How you
had the gut's to show up in his house and talk with him. He said
me that you tried to say that it wasn't true. I just nodded and
waited till he was done. I am not sure what to do next.. But I
knew that I couldn't just let you leave without saying something
about it."
A brief smile appeared "Finding you was actually easy. After all
I am working for the police." he smiled cheekily "Just don't be
surprised if they don't smile to friendly when you check out. I
had to tell them something about why I was looking for you."
Murdock looked over to Frankie who just rolled his eyes. Yet
Murdock couldn't hide a chuckle himself. Some things didn't
change over the years. And his brother was till one of them.
Older. Married. A responsible person of the law. But still a
cheeky bastard when it came to things.
But he felt his smile disappear when he repeated the last and
unanswered question. "How do you feel about it?"
"Well yesterday Dad told me that you said that the both of you
weren't in a relationship. And with this is mind I came here
today. Now today however I arrive in a motelroom. The door
opened by a man that is only halfawaken. One bed is still made
and the other has two pillows. Which made what I planed to tell
you appear a bit strange."
"Eric..."
"I don't care. You don't need to explain. It is your live and your
decision. We are both grown up enough to know the decision we
make in our own life and the consequences."
"So you are okay?"
"Hey I am your brother. My job isn't to tell you whether or not I
agree with relationships you choose. My job is it to threaten you
significant other to better not hurt you or they will have to deal
with me."
Murdock couldn't hide the laughter that escaped his lips.
Especially when he saw Frankie swallow uncomfortable and
shifting unsure.
After all things finally were definitely going up again.
*~*~*~*
When they arrived at the house the next morning however the
question where back. Especially when Frankie looked at
Murdock.
The Team was not around so they still had time for talking.
"If you want to...you know...I mean I know that...I mean I know
you where upset... "
But Murdock only smiled back "If all this stuttering is supposed
to end in the question whether or not I want to pretend last night
didn't happen that the answer is no."
Eyebrows that raised.
"I might be crazy Frankie. But I certainly know what I am
doing. And I knew what I was doing yesterday."
And with this he leaned forward to kiss.
It was a clearing of a throat that brought them back to reality.
And Face's surprised "Welcome....ahmn....home."
Frankie felt himself blush under the Team looks. Hoping that
Murdock would know the right thing to say.
"Hi guys" He smiled as if nothing was wrong.
"I thought you said that you weren't a couple?"
"Well at that point it was true"
Hannibal didn't say anything just shook his head. Face and Ba
took a few moments but afterwards they went over and smile at
them.
And that was all that was ever necessary about that topic.
*~*~*~*
It was late at night when he was woken by they ringing of the
phone. Groggily Frankie reached over. Trying to pick it up
without waking Murdock who was sleeping at his side was an
almost impossible task. But still he managed it.
It was only when he was already picking up the phone that it
dawned him how surprising it was that someone had been able
to find out the number of Stockwell's hideout.
"Yes?"
"Frankie?"
"Amy how did you get the number?"
"You really asking a reporter to tell he sources?"
"Ahmm...sorry...I mean"
"Silly....Murdock told me. "
He spoke more quietly as Murdock started to wake up.
"ohh I was wondering. You know that Stockwell would have a
fit of he found out."
She only laughed. "From what I gather from the tales Stockwell
gets a fit from everything"
"To true"
"Frankie?" Murdock was only half awaken as he blinked at
Frankie.
"Nothing love. Just talking to Amy."
"Give her my greetings and tell her to call earlier next time or I
will repay the favor" and with that he was asleep again.
"He said to tell you...."
"I hear him....still not Mr. Nice when you wake him up." But
then her voice got softer. "I am happy to hear that things worked
out for you two."
"Yet it definitely did."
"Sleep well Frankie"
"I will.....I certainly will. Bye"
"Bye"
And with that he put the receiver down again.
Seven days ago he would have never thought that he would be
here like this. His arms laying around his lover and feeling
happy about it.
How the space of a few days could change things.
How something that he hadn't even dared to dream about was
now true.
And with that he went to sleep.
Happy that for once in his life his dreams wouldn't be better than
Reality.
The End's
Okay...hope you like the story. And won't kill me because it is
Frankie/Murdock. I just had the idea last Halloween and now
finally had the time to finish the story.
but I am a girl without a spellchecker at the moment so there
might be a few left. If you are someone that doesn't read a story
because of mistakes you better wait for the repost.
Second Warning...this story contains a gay or in other words
homosexual relationship.
Do not like.
Do NOT read
Makes us both much happier.
And third but not last
Thanks so much Emma for your suggestion and your mail!! They were both great!
Title: Not all dreams are illusion
Author: Strange Music
Fandom: The A-Team
Pairing: Murdock/male (it is someone of the Team but I leave it
open to who it is. Like to surprise people) and Amy/OFC
Rating: PG13
Summary: And attempt of Stockwell to get rid of Frankie and
Murdock doesn't really work. Or maybe works only to well.
Email: Strange_music@hotmail.com
Series/Sequel: Can't say at the moment. There are no current
ideas but as everything in life that might change.
Web Page: Still working...or better still offline.
Disclaimer: Do not own any of the team or the people that help
them (or don't help them) they all belong to Stephen J. Channel
Warnings: I might sent a warning because of unconventional
pairing ahead ;) Especially People at A-Slash might proceed
with caution. Don't want to find myself being hunted down the
VA Corridors ;)
So have fun and hopefully enjoy it.
Not all dreams are illusion
By Strange Music
Murdock knew that something was wrong the second he stepped
inside the house that the team had lived in ever since they had
started *working* for Stockwell. If it wasn't for the tense
features they all carried. Then it would have been for the frown
that Hannibal wore.
Or for the fear that was in Frankie's face when he looked at the
rest of the team.
They hadn't seen him yet.
"Since when Frankie?" it was Face who was apparently the
calmest of them.
"Since when what?" he knew that it was time to step in.
What he didn't expect was the look of unadulterated relieve on
Frankie's face.
"Murdock!"
"Murdock...what is going on here" it was B.A. that talked over
Frankie.
"Calm down B.A." looking around "actually calm down all of
you."
When the tension seemed to be gone a bit more be continued
"And now what happened."
There wasn't any answer just a few pictures that Hannibal held
out to him.
And when he took them in his hands he didn't know for a
moment whether or not to laugh or to shout.
He looked aver to Frankie "Stockwell?"
Frankie only nodded.
He looked through them. And if he wouldn't have actually know
the story behind them he assumed that he would have caught the
same conclusion as seemingly the rest of the Team had.
One showed him and Frankie joking around they heads close
together.
One shown him as he brushed his hand over Frankie's cheek.
Looking like a lover's touch what had only been him cleaning
some ice-cream away.
One where Frankie was leaning back in Murdock's arms. Playful
wrestling pictures just in the right moment to make it look like a
lovers embrace.
And last but not least. The one where Murdock kissed Frankie.
You couldn't see the air that had been between their lips. Or the
girls that they where teasing.
"What happened here Captain?" it was Hannibal again
seemingly waiting for an answer.
"Nothing. They are fake." That was all he state before handing
back the pictures to Hannibal.
"Okay"
"That was all?" Frankie didn't seemed to be so happy about
Hannibal's acceptance of Murdock's statement. "I felt like I was
talking for my life here and all he needed to say was that it
wasn't true. That's not fair Johnny!" he left the room without a
gaze back.
Murdock wanted to follow him. He and Frankie had slowly
started to become friends in the last time. But he knew that first
he had to make things clear with the team.
"So any of you three to tell me what this is supposed to be
about." He looked at them "and exactly why were you all so
upset."
"It was just that we thought that.....okay. We were upset about
Stockwell and thought that Frankie had helped him in some
way. But as you didn't seemed to be upset we knew that it was
just Stockwell yanking our chain again."
Murdock nodded "I thought that it wasn't what was on the
picture. For that I know you all to well."
"You know that it wouldn't be a problem if you where lover?"
Face threw in.
"Yes Face" Murdock smiled grateful "but we aren't."
And with this the conversation turned to other topics.
He thought it to be finished but it was only three days later that
the same pictures made their life difficult again.
*~*~*~*
It was the morning of the third days. That the ringing of the
phone woke Murdock out of his sleep. Stretching over he turned
of the alarm clock that would otherwise had gone of only a few
minutes later anyway.
Only barley making out the phone with his sleepy eyes he
reached out an picked up the receiver.
"H.M. Murdock cryogenic department. Sleep where no one will
wake you. Please take a number and state it after the sound.
Hiiiiiiissssssssss."
"Murdock this is Amy and I know you are on the phone."
He could hear the laughter in her voice and he felt his own smile
appear. "You know me too well kid." Sitting up against the bed
he calculated how much time he would have before he would be
late for work. And then calculated if the job was really worth the
worry. As he was still deciding he continued the conversation
"How are you? How is the job. How is life"
"Great and Great and Perfect." She was really sounding happy
"But I am not calling about me. I am calling about you. Tell me
I am not the first with congratulation."
He sat up...a lot more awaken now.
Rubbing his eyes. "What are you talking about?"
"The pictures....I got them and I an happy that you found
someone to share you life with."
That was all it took. After that he was wide awaken now.
"Amy listen kid. If you are talking about what I think you are
talking. Then I don't think that this is wise if we continue this
conversation over the phone."
Stunned silence about the direction that the conversation had
taken was all that greeted him.
"You still live where you where the last time we met?"
"Yes...Murdock what is going on?"
"I tell you then."
Telling her that the phone was bugged wouldn't be a clever
draw.
She was seemingly surprised about his change in conversation.
But as all that known him over the years accepted it without any
question.
"All right Murdock."
"Bye Amy."
"Bye...Murdock...see you."
He sat up in his bed. Once more contemplating how much he
truly valued his job at the shopping center. The money was
passable but it somehow squeaked him to have a 20 year old
telling him what to do. Especially if this 20 years old thought he
was god himself coming down to earth.
But actually that wasn't important now. Important was to find
out more about theses picture. What Stockwell took them for.
And what he planned to accomplish with them.
*~*~*~*
Frankie looked surprised to see him at this time of the day.
Maybe it was that normally he arrived later at the house.
Or that that it was that he normally didn't arrived without a
reason or a phone call.
Or maybe it was because he was looking at Frankie through his
window.
He knocked again as Frankie was still blinking at him tired.
Civilian...Murdock smiled as he looked at him. He knew that the
rest of the Team would probably react differently if he should
arrived at their window. Probably that was also the reason why
he didn't do it again after the first time. As much as he wanted to
get back Face for all the years that he had appeared at his
windows in the VA at variable hours of the night or dawn. As
little did he plan on almost falling from the second floor window
that Face now lived in.
He knocked again.
"Open up Franks.."
On this he finally stood up and opened the window for Murdock
to slip in. Just as the same was about to regret not wearing
anything more than a T-Shirt under his jacket.
"Murdock....what are you doing here...at this hour of the
Morning?"
"Frankie it is 9 o'clock. Hardly and early hour by far."
Holding up a hand to mask up his yawn Frankie looked at
Murdock "Not if you went to bed at 6:00 o'clock. But I assume
that you are not here just to say *Hi*"
"As much as I wished that it wasn't so I have to say that it isn't."
Sinking back Frankie seemed to brace himself for bad the news
that he knew would follow.
"I got a phone call today. Actually it were two."
"Nothing good I guess?"
"Well the first one was. A friend of mine calling...she was
congratulating me.."
Frankie looked confused for a moment "For what did she" then
it dawned on him quickly "Oh shit!"
"Yes...seems like Uncle Hunt sent our snapshots to more than
just the Team."
"In danger of repeating myself.....Shit" he rubbed his hands in
front of his face. Like Murdock today he didn't seemed to be
tired at all anymore.
"You know why Murdock?"
"So far I can only guess." And it was true. He knew why
Stockwell would like to see him out of the Team. Too bad that
he had counted on the Team being homophobic when they
weren't. Because he knew that this was what he had tried to
accomplish with the picture. Murdock knew that Stockwell
didn't like him for a lot of things. Especially the fact that
Murdock knew more about him that Stockwell liked. And the
fact that Murdock actually as the only one of the team seemed to
be able to yank Stockwell's chain. Something not many people
knew how to do. He knew that these where pretty good reason.
But for Frankie he could only assume. Probably Stockwell
thought Frankie use for him was no longer present. He couldn't
take him as traitor anymore because Frankie knew that
Stockwell couldn't harm him as long as he had the Team as his
backup.
This would have been a great way to get rid of both of them.
Without having the team at his back and without loosing the
Team with them.
And all because he had made a joke.
"And the second?"
"What?" Frankie's voice caught him out of his thoughts.
"You said two phone calls. What was the second."
"It was my father telling me that I should rot in hell" he heard
the pain echo through his voice. Even when he hadn't talked
with his father in years it still had hurt to hear the person he still
loved in a way having only contempment for him. Maybe it was
because somewhere deep inside he had still held the hope of
reconciliation with his father some day. After the trouble. But he
assumed that this particular dream was over now.
"I am sorry Murdock" and Murdock could hear that he meant it.
A shocked second as he could see the realization sinking in.
"You think that...."
Murdock only nodded.
"Oh Shit."
*~*~*~*
It was hours later that they were on the way.
Thanks to Face sweet talk to the girl at the post office they now
knew who exactly had gotten a letter.
Amy
Tanya
Frankie's brother and parent's
And Murdock's brother and father.
They had decided that the situation was not one to clear over the
telephone. Still as Murdock looked at the list he felt a certain
reluctance in talking with his father. But that would be
something they could talk about later.
Their first destination was now Amy. Being able to avoid Tanya
as the letter sent to her had returned unopened. Marked "Return
to Sender - Addressee moved ".
A fact that the nice girl at the post office would never let
Stockwell know as Face talked he into letting the letter
disappear. And he still had gotten a date out of it as well.
Some guys are just lucky.
He leaned back in the car. Frankie was driving for the next hour.
And it was his time to either think or sleep. At the moment he
was at first.
If not for the circumstances he might have looked forward a lot
more seeing Amy again. They had stayed in contacted through
the years and where still pretty good friends.
But they had not seen each other for years. When she would
have had the time Murdock was with the team and when
Murdock had time she was on a case. But holding contacted
over phone calls had worked pretty good as well.
If for nothing else it was seemingly the only good thing coming
out of all of this.
*~*~*~*
7 hours later they arrived at the house that Amy had now been
living in for the last 2 years. Murdock recognized it immediately
from the pictures she had sent them. And even without pictures
he would have recognized her. Standing there she was smiling at
him brightly.
And the next thing he knew he was taken into an embrace that
would have made Ba proud.
She greeted Frankie as well but in a more formal and rather
distant matter. No matter how much Murdock had told her about
him. For her he was still a stranger.
"Come in" she smiled as they followed her into the house.
*~*~*~*
Amy looked at the two man sitting in front of her. She didn't
know this Frankie. But she had very much memories of
Murdock. Enough to read him in the way he sat there. And she
knew this gaze. It showed of a lot of thoughts going on behind
in his mind.
It had been some time since she had been with the Team. But
this look was one of the things that she wouldn't forget for a
long time.
In between the insanity and the craziness there would be
moment of where she would have been able to watch his mind
drift and strife. Moment where he wouldn't be here at all.
Or all to much.
Moment where he would watch his Team members with eyes
that knew that he was trying. Trying for them to remember what
happened there. Knowing that it was for him that they were still
running. Only one memory that could take the guilt away from
them. Proving their innocent with it. And she could always see
the frustration when it still seemed to be a blank.
But now there was something more. She had seen both of their
eyes shift as they told her the tale. Of the picture an the reason
behind them.
That everything was innocent and a perfectly good reason that
explained them all, That they weren't lover. And she didn't want
to call them liar to their face. Yet at least one wasn't really true.
She could see Frankie's gaze during the parts that Murdock told.
His eyes hanging on the pilots words.
Murdock had the worry in his eyes. Seemed like that the other
that they had visit hadn't taken the news quiet so well. And he
was afraid that she would be one of them. Little did they know
But Frankie had the look of someone in love. And from the way
that his gazes where directed she knew that it was a certain
lanky pilot that she only knew to well.
Still she was happy about seeing Murdock again and being able
to talk Team that she wasn't looking a gifted horse in the mouth.
And as it got later it was only natural that she told them to better
not even think about a motel and presented them the
accommodation of her own home. Something that Murdock
smilingly accepted. And also Frankie thanked her for.
She was beginning to warm up to the young man. He wasn't like
the rest of the Team. But he was a nice guy on his own.
And so it was only natural that she went outside to talk with him
when she saw him sitting on the bench in the garden. Murdock
already snoring the house away there was also not much else to
do.
*~*~*~*
He hadn't heard her till she had almost stood in front of him.
As yet another proof as unlike the others in the Team he was.
There was not a single military bone in his body. And it was
painfully showing. No wonder that Stockwell wanted him of the
Team.
"Coke?"
She held out the can in front of him and he accepted it smiling.
"Thought I would come out and see how you are doing. You
seemed a bit lost."
Shrugging it off Frankie just smiled brightly and hoped that she
didn't notice how wrong it was.
"Why don't you tell him?"
"Tell him what?" 'Play stupid. There is no way that she knows.'
"Frankie. I am a journalist. And I am actually a very good one
without sounding too modest. I didn't get all this way without
learning to read people. And when you talked today I could
definitely read you very clear."
All he could do was stare at her.
"So I repeat. Why Don't you tell him?"
The laughter that was now on his face had no humor anymore
now. "You kidding. You mean beside the fact that I am so
different from them that I am only barley a part of them and
only barley accepted? You didn't see the Team that day. Or how
he just looked at them and declared them fake. With a face like I
seen it only rarely on him."
"Don't tell me you think the team was upset because of the
content of the picture?" He didn't know why she was smiling at
that question.
"I wouldn't hold it against them. They are military there
might..."
She laughed out loud and then turned into a giggle that seemed
to hold on till she held her stomach.
"Glad you find it amusing..." He didn't want to sound so bitter.
But somehow he just couldn't see the situation as funny as she
did.
"Frankie. Without going on about the gay politics in Military I
can assure you that the Team itself has no problems with love
between people of the same gender."
His brows scrunched together as he looked at her. Wanting to
believe her yet not really sure. She only smiled at his gaze and
then reached out to the keys that she kept on a chain. After a bit
of juggling she finally held a little photo that was attached to
them.
It was the one of a blond woman smiling into the camera.
"This is Kerry, by Florida law my wife"
And as she turned it around there was one of the rest of the
Team as they stood smiling at her side.
"And they where there."
Putting the keys back in her trouser.
"And this is why I know that they have no prejudice."
He didn't know what to say. Certainly he couldn't say that most
man didn't react to bad at two girls in love didn't actually also
react good to the same at men... So he just looked at her.
She smiled at him as she ruffled his hair. "I don't want to press
you into anything. And as much as I am able to read Murdock I
can't say that I know how he feels about you."
A sigh.
"I know...but don't close the barren before the horse are in."
He looked at her confused.
"Don't give up before you have tried."
And with that she left him back in the garden to think.
*~*~*~*
When they left the next morning Murdock could see that
something had passed between Frankie and Amy in the time that
he had slept. They was more friendliness and less distancing
between them. And out of some reason Frankie thanked her and
she smiled at him brightly.
When she came over to him she once again hugged him tightly
"I wish you could have stayed longer. Kerry would have loved
to see you again."
"But..."
"I know....places to go...people to meet."
"Yes. Give my love to Kerry."
"I will Murdock. And don't be a stranger."
"I won't."
And then there were back in the car. Only waving a few more
times till they were on the way to the next stop.
Frankie's brother.
*~*~*~*
"You think they have the pictures?"
"Most certainly.."
Another sigh.
It had been more than one hour since they had arrived at the
small house that Frankie brother lived in with his wife and kids.
Even thou he knew that he was only avoiding the unavoidable.
He hadn't know how long he had stared into nothingness when
he felt Murdock's hand on his shoulder. "No matter what
happens. You will always have the team as family."
And as he nodded he made his decision.
Reaching out for the door before he could change he mind.
"Let's get this show on the road."
*~*~*~*
The moment between knocking on the door and Frankie's
brother finally opening seemed to stretch for long. But nothing
felt like the eternity that passed between him opening the door
and finding Frankie there and his first words or expression.
The situation only resolved as two child formed missiles
attached themselves to their *Uncle Frankie*. For a moment
diverting the wordless that had spread between their father and
their uncle.
But Murdock knew that the situation couldn't be as bad as
Frankie had feared when David invited him inside with and
unsure but present smile.
"Jackie and Owen apparently took the first right at their uncle.
Might take a few minutes before they leave him out of their
clutches again. I can ask Sarah to make you some coffee in the
meantime. Or do you just drink tea. I mean I wouldn't want to
offend you by offering you coffee."
Outside Murdock smile friendly at David "Coffee is great"
Internally he sight at the apparently stumbled conversation. But
at least David was trying. For a moment Murdock thought about
how this situation would be if he and Frankie would really been
here to tell him about being a couple. And strangely the though
didn't feel as bizarre as he thought he would.
But before he could follow that thought any further Frankie was
back at his side.
"Frankie" another very uncertain smile "I just want to say that I
don't have any trouble with you choice...."
"It is not true..."
With a breath of relieve David sank into the chair behind him.
"Thank god. I mean I wouldn't mind you falling in love. It's just
that these pictures came so sudden. And after you told me so
much about the Team in you last few letters. I mean I wouldn't
have a problem with you being gay..."
"Like I said....nothing about these pictures is true so you can
stop worrying now." He said it with his trademark grin. Yet still
Murdock noticed a strange tightness that hadn't been there
before. Only that now was hardly the situation to talk about it.
*~*~*~*
The rest of the evening went by without much. The conversation
was pleasant and Murdock enjoyed playing with the kids while
the grownup talked. Owen and Jackie took and instant liking in
their new "Uncle Murdock."
But it was only at the goodbye that the happiness took a damper.
And Murdock hoped that Frankie hadn't seen the way David had
flinched while he had embraced him.
Yet now looking at him lying in the hotel bed opposite of him he
knew that his wishes hadn't been heard.
"It just takes time."
"I know...still it felt strange when he behaved so awkward."
Murdock nodded. He wished that Frankie would say more about
what troubled him. But he had fallen back into the silence. Only
broken when he stood up and announced that he would go for a
walk.
*~*~*~*
Frankie knew that Murdock was worried about him. But he just
wasn't the person that he needed to talk to right now. Not with
the other problem still there.
And that's why he took out the number he had gotten only
shortly before and dialed it.
The phone was picked up on the third ring.
"Allen-Daily hello" Not knowing the voice he assumed that it
must be Kerry.
"I'd like to speak with Amy."
"Will do. Hold on a second."
Then a few moment later the familiar voice of Amy appeared on
the phone. "Frankie! How did it go with your brother?"
"Good and bad at the same time."
"As in?"
"We told him that it wasn't true and he said that he would have
accepted me even when I would have been gay. Yet he sounded
so relieved when I told him that I wasn't...and..."
"You felt like you lied to him even when you thought it was
better that way. "
Leaning back in the phone booth he just nodded only at last
second noting that she wouldn't be able to see it.
"And he is awkward around me. Didn't kiss me goodbye and
also the hug felt as if didn't know whether he wanted to hug me
close or hold me at arm length."
"Don't worry. When I told my mother years ago she didn't know
what to talk with me for a month. Seemingly I crashed all her
nice plans of me being a nice wife for a man that would take
care of me. For whom I would cook and sew the clothing. And
for whom I would stay at home to take care his children. I know
that part of her dreams was her hoping that I would give up
being a reporter. A job that she had always been afraid would
kill me one day. And the rest......is a long story. But the line is
that after some awkward she accepted it. And she accepted
Kerry....in time. I don't know you brother and I don't know how
he will react. But maybe you should talk with Murdock. I am
sure he is worried about you."
Seemingly the shocked gasp and lack of an answer didn't
surprise her.
"No I have not become telepathic but Murdock called me a few
minutes before you did. That's why I know. And now talk with
him. He cares about you."
"I will and thanks" and with that he hung the phone up again and
returned to the hotel room.
*~*~*~*
Murdock let out a sigh of relief the moment Frankie stepped
back through the hotel room.
He had slowly but steadily been worried more and more.
Plugging down on the bed Frankie didn't say anything for the
first few minutes.
Then silently
"Sorry"
"Never mind"
"No I didn't mean to worry you."
This confused Murdock but realization didn't take long. "Amy?"
"The one and same."
"Oh...."
"She told me to talk with you."
"And will you....?"
A sigh, followed by the shaking of his head. But not like a way
of saying no but rather of if not really sure.
Murdock looked over to Frankie as he sat on the motelbed.
Seemingly still thinking. With an expression that didn't make it
look like he was really happy about whatever he was thinking
about.
"Frankie? Are you okay?"
"Yes..I am okay" He truly seemed to make it sound genuine. But
Murdock knew that it wasn't.
Smiling as to take the sting that his words otherwise would have
held he simply said "Then why doesn't it sound that way."
Leaning back at the wall behind his back Frankie let out a sigh
before looking at Murdock.
"It is just with everything that went on I was thinking about
trying to talk with Stockwell about another assignment."
Drawing his eyebrows together Murdock knew that he looked as
confused as he felt.
"Why..You can't say that you are bored enough with the Team
to join two of Stockwell's funpartys?"
For a moment Frankie's eyes closed as if he wasn't sure how to
say what comes next. "I was thinking about changing the Team.
I mean the reason why I stared out there are no longer valued.
After all you guys know now that I was the one that helped him.
And certainly he will not be able to use me like this again. As
for you guys. I am sure you won't be ??angry?? at being only 4
again."
The look in his eyes was serious "I do not belong with you guys.
Not in your Team."
"Frankie..." he wasn't sure what arguments to bring against but
he knew that he had to try.
Especially for the pain that he could see in Frankie's eyes.
Althou quickly hidden by a look of resolvement it still had been
there. As if this was something he had thought about for some
time.
Even before the pictures.
Yet maybe the way the Team had reacted to the pictures had
been the reason that he finally spoke those words out aloud.
"Look Murdock. I know that you are looking for the right words
to say. But there aren't any. It is the best for you for me and for
the Team." He smiled shakingly. "After all it is not that I can
contribute anything that any of the Team couldn't do."
There was a smile but it held no true humor.
"I mean the only thing that I am good at it blowing things up and
even there BA is better. And you are the A-Team. I am just the
guy that Stockwell forced upon you."
"Frankie..." he said it softly, waiting till he knew that he had
Frankie's attention. "You are no burden to the Team. Not ever. I
mean sure in the beginning there were kind of suspicious about
you. And I agree that I don't know what Stockwell had put in
their coffee the day with the pictures. But I assure you that you
are no burden. If you were a burden Hannibal would have found
a way to get rid of you. He is the head of the Team and when he
thinks something is bad for the Team. No rules will make him
change his mind. If he let you stay on the Team he though that it
was alright."
"But"
"Same goes for BA and Face. If they think that Hannibal's
decision is not a wise one. They say so outright. There is no
softwalking around there in the Team. Thinks are said outright."
At least most of the time. But he knew that this wasn't
something that should be said. Still it was true..it would take a
long time to count all the times that anybody on the Team had
said words like 'This is insane Hannibal' it had summit to quit a
lot in the years that they had been together.
"But I am not like you. You are a Team. You are military. You
fought in a war together. You went through hell together. No
matter what you say. You 4 are the Team. I am just an intruder
that liked to play secret agent man for a little while."
"You are no more an intruder of the Team than Amy or Tania
was. Neither of them had been in military or faught in any other
war than the usual barou fights. Yet for the time being they had
been a part of the Team. And they are still a part of the family
even when they are no longer around. The same goes for you. It
doesn't matter if they only war you faught in was throwing
waterballons at your brother. You are still part of the Team."
"but..." Frankie look like he was truly caught in a decision. Not
knowing what to say. Not sure if he should say anyting at all.
And so Murdock made the decision for him. Leaning back on
the bed he reached out for the light.
"I think it is time that we should start sleeping. We have a long
drive tomorrow."
Then he reached out and turned off the lamp. Putting darkness
over the room.
"Murdock?" the voice was hesitant.
"hmm?"
"Thanks" Even when he didn't see it, it sounded like a bit of the
old Frankie smile was back in his Face.
"Think nothing of it comrade." he returned with a Texan lilt, but
turned serious for a small second. "Anytime Frankie, and I mean
it."
"Good night Murdock"
"Good night Frankie"
And before he fell asleep he allowed himself a smile of
happiness that Frankie would stay on the Team. He wouldn't
have wanted to see him go. And even when he wasn't really sure
about what he was feeling he knew that the reason was more
than just about not wanting to loose a guy that was becoming
another honorary member of the Team.
*~*~*~*
It was almost 9 o'clock before they took of to their destination.
But as the roads where a good drive they managed to arrived
before 4 o'clock at their destination.
Again Frankie stood back for a bit first having to draw enough
strength. But this time it didn't take quit as long.
"You sure." Murdock wasn't certain to interpret the look on
Frankie's face.
"I am sure Murdock. She is my mother. She will believe me.
Ever since I was a child she had known when I had been lying
and when I had told the truth. I hope that she will know it this
time too."
*~*~*~*
Still despite his brave words it took him a few minutes of
breathing before he reached out to the door.
And then it was as if nothing had happened. His mother opening
the door. Embracing him with a happy shout. And smiling at
Murdock as well. "Come in come in boys. I have been doping
that you would have a look by. David called me a yesterday.
And told me everything"
"Mum..."
"Why don't you take a seat I have made some things you will
like."
"Mum...."
He felt a hand on his shoulder ad as he followed it he looked
into Murdock eyes who shook his head.
"Let her do whatever she does right now. We can as well talk
with her later as well. Enjoy dinner till then. "
Frankie nodded and sat down.
*~*~*~*
However the talking had to take a lot more time than just after
dinner. At least in Frankie's case Murdock though smilingly as
he looked over at the now peacefully sleeping man.
Then as he looked up he saw Frankie's mother as she motioned
him out on the terrace.
He took the coffee that she offered him with a smile and then sat
down opposite of her.
"Frankie told me a lot about you and your friends. Yet every
time he talks with me I get the feeling that I am not hearing the
whole story."
"They are necessary.....in order to protect you" and silently he
added and not to worry you too much.
"I know...but still it worries me to know that he is out there in
danger the whole time. Because if it wouldn't be dangerous there
wouldn't be any need to protect me or anybody else."
Murdock nodded inside. She was right there. But still there
wasn't much else that he could do to assure her.
"Could you take care of my boy."
"Of course ma'am. I take care of all my friends."
"That is good" she smiled relieved "Because he cares a lot about
you too."
This puzzled him "Ma'am? You do know that we are no couple?
That these picture were not what they appeared to be?"
She laid a hand on his shoulder and made sure that he was
looking in her eyes as she continued. "I know what I seen in
those pictures. I saw that my son is very happy. And that he and
you are having a fun time. Whether the reason now for this is
because you are lovers or simply friends I don't care. As long as
you don't hurt him. I wouldn't think about saying anything
against it."
And somehow Murdock felt that despite that she was talking
about friendship she was still giving him the ok for a
relationship as well. Telling him that she would accept it. He
didn't dare to talk back and just nodded. Still wondering what
the woman had seen. It was true that during their trip Murdock
had started to look at Frankie with other eyes. But still...
It was Frankie's sleepy voice that that caught him out of his
thoughts.
As he leaned at the door to the terrace and looked at them both.
"I was wondering where you went."
And if intended he caught the gaze that told him that it was now
Frankie's turn for a little talk.
*~*~*~*
Frankie didn't know what to say when he felt the strong gaze of
his mother rest on him. It wasn't a gaze that he was used to
feeling on him when he hadn't done anything wrong.
"So he doesn't know that you care about him."
"Mum I told you it was a....."
He felt a hand connect with his head and as he looked up he
looked into the scolding eyes of his mother.
"I am not stupid. I know that the pictures where fake. Would
have known even without you telling me." She leaned back in
her chair "What *I* am talking about is what I seen here. And
from that I know that at least one of you is in love with the
other."
"Mum...."
"Don't you even think about lying."
That shut up Frankie for good. Especially since he didn't know
how to tell her that she was right.
*~*~*~*
Frankie looked up when he heard the windows softly creaking.
A bit surprised to see Murdock appear behind him.
It had been only been 3 hours since Murdock had announced
that he would go to bed. Hardly enough time to consider it a
goodnights sleep.
Frankie knew that he should sleep too. But somehow he still felt
too keyed up. And actually he wanted to spent some time just
sitting on the terrace. It had been some time since he had spent
the night at his mothers place and he had missed sitting here.
"Everything all right?" It was the first thing that came into his
mind.
"Yes...Just couldn't sleep. Slept too much in the car today and I
never was a longsleeper. I was just about to get me a glass of
water when I saw you out there." Murdock sat down in the chair
at his side. "Actually the reason I came out here was because I
wanted to ask you the same."
"I am all right. Just wallowing in childhood memories. I used to
come out here a lot when I was a child. It was my place to find
peace."
Murdock smiled. Leaning back as he let his gaze rest on the
view.
"I can understand. It looks pretty peaceful around here.
Especially since it is not actually in the town."
Frankie nodded. Maybe it was the place or simply the fact today
had gone so well. That made him almost giddy with relive.
He looked at Murdock and then pointed to the trees that could
be seen only a few yards away. "You see those two over there?"
When Murdock nodded he continued. "When I was younger I
would look at them before I would fall asleep. The one at the
right always looked too me like the wolf from 'The wolf and the
three pigs.' and the one at the left was the pig he was chasing.
Cause every time when there was wind, even slightly, the wolf
would chase the pig. As he would lean forward to catch it and
the pig would pull away just at the right time."
He smiled at the memories but turned a bit more serious as he
continued "I was always scared that something bad would
happen the day the wolf finally caught the pig." Actually he still
did. But that wasn't something to say out aloud. After all he was
grown up now. Or at least he was considered grown-up because
of his age. Others might be in different option about it.
"Frankie.." Murdock's voice held a tome of amusement "I would
love to sent this to an old friend of ours. Decker. But I don't
think he will see it the way we do."
Frankie nodded. The Team had told him about Decker. Since the
days in Langly where sometimes long and funny stories were a
good way to pass time.
"It is really quiet here. Only at night you can here the sound of
the trains going through the trainstation. And you can see the
stars...all you have to do is lay back your head."
When he looked down again he caught Murdock looking at him
with a strange expression in his eyes. "What?" it was only a soft
question not an inquiring one.
"Somehow It seems like I find out just how little you really
talked about your life before the team."
He knew what Murdock meant, but he just shrugged. "It had
actually never occurred to me. After all my homelife was hardly
any worth talking about. Not when it is compared to what you
and Hannibal, Face and BA did. I mean the time I was sitting
here gazing at the stars. You were in a foreign country fighting
for your life's."
"You used to look at the stars?"
Frankie felt himself smile. "Didn't think I was that kind of guy?
But actually I did. My father taught me all about them. And I
would know almost all of them. I would look at the stars and see
the big bear and the little one. And I would see The three stars
that built the belt of Orion...even his sword. But it was
sometimes ago. Now I hardly remember any of them. I guess
along the way I stopped stargazing...don't know when" But
actually he knew. It was the day that all hell broke loose in his
life. Like an earthquake that shook his life ?fundament?
"What happened?"
It was scary how well Murdock seemed to know him.
"Dad left us. I mean he wasn't gone. But he didn't life with us
anymore and every time that I looked up I remembered how
much I missed him. I didn't hate him. He and Mum just....they
just couldn't live together anymore. But it was like I woke up
one morning and everything around me had changed."
He hadn't expected any answers still he made a pause. "He
wasn't a father right out of the TV. He had his faults. But then
again show me a human being that hasn't. When we would pick
from his plate he used to get angry. Yet did the same on our
plates. And he used to be upset sometimes because we were
disturbing him while watching the news. But he also would take
me and my brother to the museum and would tell us stories. He
knows a lot of them. True stories. About things that really
happened. Or we would sit in front of the TV and watch a
science show. Even back then I had been fascinated about
technical and chemical and how to use them.
The memories flew unbound now and he could actually feel
again a bit of the pain that he had felt back then. Yes, he still
loved his father not any less than he had back then. And he
knew that when this was over that it would be time to call him
again. Maybe visit. After all it had been too long since the last
time.
"What about your dad?" he asked Murdock.
But Murdock only shrugged either not feeling like talking...or
simply not wanting to talk about his father.
Frankie leaned his head back. Looking at the stars once again as
he had all those years ago. Trying to find the things that he had
seen there.
But he couldn't.....all he saw were four stars and neither belt nor
sword.
Then just as he was about to let the disappointment wall over
him he felt something at his shoulder. Apparently the oh so
insomniac Murdock had found sleep after all. Now leaning
against his shoulder with a soft snore. And as he looked down he
felt a warm smile appear. Wasn't it strange how watching
someone sleep could make you smile sometimes.
And when he leaned his had back to look at the sky. For a small
moment he saw the big bear and the small one playing.
*~*~*~*
It was the next day in another hotel room that they sat in.
Frankie strangely quiet for the fact that everything had gone so
well. Only lying on his bed staring at nothing particular.
"Frankie?"
"It is nothing Murdock. Just leave me to think a bit."
And Murdock did.
Yet when he heard slight sniffing and saw Frankie's shoulders
shacking that he did go over nevertheless. There were no words
as he lay down beside him and embraced him. Neither of him
nor of Frankie. Just the fact that he was there.
Later when He had calmed down it was finally that Frankie
seemed collected enough to talk again.
Drying his eyes with his sleeve he smiled a bit at the Murdock
as he rolled his eyes.
"Sorry. Nerves I guess. I have been so stung up about everything
that it just came down on me."
"I was worried that it had been something that your mother
said."
Frankie tried to look in fake horror. "What you mean you didn't
listen in on us?"
Swatting him playfully over the head "No I didn't!"
Holding his head Frankie looked at him "Somehow that doesn't
convince me at all."
But he willingly when back into Murdock's open arms. Liking
the warmth he felt there. Content with it even if only in
friendship.
Neither of them realized as they slowly slipped into sleep. Still
in the embrace.
*~*~*~*
When Murdock woke up the next morning it took him a few
seconds till he remembered why he was lying in this bed. And
mostly why his arms where still wrapped around Frankie who
was sleeping the sleep of the just.
But nothing surprised him as much as the feeling of happiness
that he felt. As if this was a position that he could actually come
to like.
But just before his thoughts could go any further he felt Frankie
wake up.
Blinking at him it also seemed to take him a few moments to
remember. As he did he blinked at him sheepishly. "Guess I fell
asleep. Sorry"
Yet his lake of movement out of the embrace somehow made his
statement not seem quiet as true.
"It is the last one today."
"Yes. Dad and my brother. Not really sure if I should count it as
lucky to have them live at the same place."
And as they untangled themselves they both felt as if they
wouldn't have minded a few more minutes.
As if they known that the worst was to come.
*~*~*~*
"Dad! Now listen to me!"
"I always knew it. Hanging around with those guys all the time"
"These pictures are not what they appear to be."
"So you say that you and this guy aren't into each other and you
are exclusive with the others?"
"I am saying that I am into none of them!"
"I always knew that you were different. I thought sending you of
to Vietnam would take care of that."
Murdock threw his hands in the air in desperation "I am just
here to talk with you and if possible talk with Eric"
"Eric doesn't want to talk with you. And neither doesn't anybody
else of this family. It would be better if you never appear here
anytime soon. "
"I want to hear it from him. I want to hear it from Eric himself
that he doesn't want to see me again"
"He doesn't want to see you. And now leave!"
Frankie wanted to hold Murdock back from standing up. But he
was to late. He had already jumped up trying to storm in the
door that was behind his father. Frankie didn't know how he was
sure that his brother was behind there somewhere of if he was
simply trying the best chance. Yet where he wasn't quick enough
someone else was. And before Frankie could see the older
Murdock had gotten hold of Murdock's shirt and was leveling
him to the floor. The surprise aiding the man and he pulled
Murdock of balance and shove him to the floor hard. "HE is my
brother! I have right to see him!"
"I have no queer son. So you are not my son. And Eric isn't you
brother. You are a stranger to us. Leave. Or I am forced to call
the police. NOW!"
"You have no right!"
A cold glance was in the older mans eyes as he proclaimed with
a mocking smile "You are wrong, my dear boy. I have ALL the
right."
Frankie went over to the place where pilot still sat on the floor
an, taking his arms to help him up. The look that Murdock threw
at him was so lost that Frankie had to fight the urge to hug him
right there. But he knew that it wouldn't help the situation.
"Let's go Murdock."
"But Eric?" The voice was pleading to Frankie. As if it was in
his power to change the situation.
"Listen Murdock. There is nothing that you can do. He is right .
He *HAS* right! Let's go."
He pulled the almost trancelike man up from the floor. The eyes
of the pilot so dazed that he wasn't sure if he was even there
with them. But he obeyed Frankie like a puppet to its Master and
followed him.
Out of the room.
The door.
The house.
Leaving behind a life that in reality had ended many years ago.
***~~~***
When they reached the Motel Room Murdock was still very
quiet and subdued but moving on his own without Frankie to
lead him. But he spoke no word when he crossed the room to sit
on the bed. Absentminded laying his hand in to his neck. A
puzzled expression on his face. And a scary look of clarity when
he pulled it forward and found it smeared with blood.
For a moment Frankie hadn't even seen the reason for the look.
till he followed it down to the hand, Feeling the anger boil inside
Frankie went over to the still starring pilot. Only half managing
to keep it hidden when he draw the hand to take a look at it. It
wasn't much blood but enough to take a closer look. Laying a
hand on his shoulder he asked for permission, Which was given
with the slight nod of the head before it was bowed down to give
him better access. To his relief it turned out to be small and far
from being serious. Yet big enough that it certainly must have
hurt. "Didn't you feel this?" he asked puzzled. Murdock only
shook his head slightly and shrugged. "Didn't feel much of
anything back then."
He tried to give the head back up but Frankie softly pushed him
down again. "Wait a bit. I'll take care of that one. I might not be
a Med like Hannibal but I am good at taking care of those little
wounds"
"First Aid training?"
"No just a rough time when I started my SFX Training"
The soft chuckle that he heard took away a lot of his anger.
"However there *were* times where I looked like someone had
used *me* for first aid training " He stood up from the bed to go
to the bathroom and get the things needed.
Bandages....Disinfecting....Hansaplast. Always while looking
into the room if Murdock was still holding his head down. "Just
be happy that it doesn't need stitches. I badly failed that class at
school. " Another laughter and Frankie could see that the tension
flowing out of the other man's shoulders. Then when he had all
that he needed he came back. Sitting again down at Murdock's
side. Pushing the hair up do get better access to the wound for
cleaning it up. A bit warm water before the harsh reality of
disinfections would come.
And it worked, beside a small hiss there was no more sign of
discomfort .
For the next few moment he was so taken up in his tasks that he
didn't feel the tension returning into Murdock's shoulders but
after laying the last layer of the bandage he could see it.
"Am I finished?" a muffled voice asked.
"Not yet." and then seemingly without any second though he
moved behind Murdock and started kneading the tension out of
him .
There was a short surprised turn of the head but nothing more.
And the after a while Frankie felt the Murdock lean back more
and more.
A soft moan was heard as the muscle under his finger turned
slowly into butter. And then as if it was the most natural thing to
do Murdock leaned back in his arms and Frankie slung Then
around him to close them on his chest.
Again it was a subdued voice that whispered
"You think he hates me"
'I wish I knew ' Frankie thought feeling the pain right from the
pilot, "I wish I knew what he thought. Then I could know why
he was able to hurt his own son like that. Maybe he was just
shocked"
The head in front of him shock 'no' "I mean Eric. Do you think
that he hates me like my father said. Is was it just something that
he made up to hurt mend get me away from the family "
"Well if I were you I would ask him myself." A sight, and as
strange as it might seemed Frankie was happy that seemingly he
had given the right answer.
"So you don't think he hates me?"
Frankie laughed shortly but without much humor. "Till I met
that old bastard that you call father ...no offence "
"You really what me to answer that?"
"No...but I still thought it was friendly to say. Well before that I
didn't think that there was anybody that could hate you. I mean
even with all the trouble that you and B.A. have he still loves
you like a brother. And the same for Face and Hannibal.
Anyway ...I didn't think that there was anybody that could hate
you. "
"Not even you? After all it was my joke that got us into all these
trouble. And now your brother is sure how to talk with you
maybe never will . There might always be this rift . And much
more, as we haven't talked to you father yet. He might react the
same way as mine. "
Frankie just shook his head. "First of all, I don't think my father
will react like that. There had been too many things in my life
that he accepted. He even forgave me the day that I was brought
home by the police because I had stolen and Wrecked a Police
car. And I was 14 back then."
A pause
"Second. I could never hate you. no matter what you do. Never.
No matter what you do." The body in his arms shifted and he
found himself looking into two curious brown eyes. Looking so
lost, that for a moment he forgot everything else as found
himself sinking into then.
"Why?"
The question was so sudden that it took him by surprise.
"Why what?"
"Why could you never hate me?"
The eyes kept holding his own, as they waited for his answer
and he felt a smile creep up his lips "Don't you know?"
And as if it was the most natural thing to do, he leaned forward
and planted a soft kiss on Murdock's lips. For a moment all he
felt was good. The sweet tease of the lips and their soft texture
under his own. However then the rational part of his mind
piped in and for a moment he felt the fear of that he had gone to
far. He closed his eyes. Not willing to see any sign of
disappointment or anger.
Till a soft voice reached his ear.
"I guess I *do* know"
And when he opened his eyes there was no sign of disapproval
just a smile.
Just a knowing smile that only disappeared when he felt himself
being drawn forward into a other kiss. A lot deeper and longer
than the first one. Whipping away any further doubts that there
might have been.
No more question.
Just answers.
***~~~***
***************
At first he wasn't sure where to put the persistent noise that
reached his ear. It was only a few moments later that he
connected it with the sound of someone knocking at the Motel
room door.
Moaning he untangled himself from Murdock's hand and stood
up to open it. All the while contemplating who might want what
at this time of the day.
A question that was even more present when the who was
answered in form of a police officer looking at him from the
other side of the door. It couldn't really be that Murdock father
had truly called the police about them. That would have
been....actually...wouldn't be so strange at all.
"Officer?" It was now that he realized that the Officer wasn't
even looking at him. But gazing right at Murdock who was
looking back with a blank expression.
"Hi Henry" it seemed to have sounded more casual but only
turned out forced.
"Hi Eric"
*~*~*~*
Murdock sat up as Frankie stepped aside to let Eric walk in.
Without any word sitting down beside him.
"How did you...."
"Find you?....Find out what happened?...Feel about it?"
"Actually all. But I am not so sure."
Before another word Eric leaned over and embraced Murdock in
a tight embrace. Not saying anything and actually not needing
to. When they had been younger there had been times like that.
When all they would needed was too look at each other and
know what the other was thinking. It had only been in later years
that the connection had been more apart but never gone
completely.
When they parted Murdock felt a bit better "Well how did I find
out...." Eric laughed without real humor. "Dad came to me last
night. Drunk to the gills. It took me 5 minutes till I found out
what he wanted to tell me. Scared the hell out of Joan. But then
he finally told me. About the pictures he had gotten. And how
he took the letter addressed to me before I could see it. How you
had the gut's to show up in his house and talk with him. He said
me that you tried to say that it wasn't true. I just nodded and
waited till he was done. I am not sure what to do next.. But I
knew that I couldn't just let you leave without saying something
about it."
A brief smile appeared "Finding you was actually easy. After all
I am working for the police." he smiled cheekily "Just don't be
surprised if they don't smile to friendly when you check out. I
had to tell them something about why I was looking for you."
Murdock looked over to Frankie who just rolled his eyes. Yet
Murdock couldn't hide a chuckle himself. Some things didn't
change over the years. And his brother was till one of them.
Older. Married. A responsible person of the law. But still a
cheeky bastard when it came to things.
But he felt his smile disappear when he repeated the last and
unanswered question. "How do you feel about it?"
"Well yesterday Dad told me that you said that the both of you
weren't in a relationship. And with this is mind I came here
today. Now today however I arrive in a motelroom. The door
opened by a man that is only halfawaken. One bed is still made
and the other has two pillows. Which made what I planed to tell
you appear a bit strange."
"Eric..."
"I don't care. You don't need to explain. It is your live and your
decision. We are both grown up enough to know the decision we
make in our own life and the consequences."
"So you are okay?"
"Hey I am your brother. My job isn't to tell you whether or not I
agree with relationships you choose. My job is it to threaten you
significant other to better not hurt you or they will have to deal
with me."
Murdock couldn't hide the laughter that escaped his lips.
Especially when he saw Frankie swallow uncomfortable and
shifting unsure.
After all things finally were definitely going up again.
*~*~*~*
When they arrived at the house the next morning however the
question where back. Especially when Frankie looked at
Murdock.
The Team was not around so they still had time for talking.
"If you want to...you know...I mean I know that...I mean I know
you where upset... "
But Murdock only smiled back "If all this stuttering is supposed
to end in the question whether or not I want to pretend last night
didn't happen that the answer is no."
Eyebrows that raised.
"I might be crazy Frankie. But I certainly know what I am
doing. And I knew what I was doing yesterday."
And with this he leaned forward to kiss.
It was a clearing of a throat that brought them back to reality.
And Face's surprised "Welcome....ahmn....home."
Frankie felt himself blush under the Team looks. Hoping that
Murdock would know the right thing to say.
"Hi guys" He smiled as if nothing was wrong.
"I thought you said that you weren't a couple?"
"Well at that point it was true"
Hannibal didn't say anything just shook his head. Face and Ba
took a few moments but afterwards they went over and smile at
them.
And that was all that was ever necessary about that topic.
*~*~*~*
It was late at night when he was woken by they ringing of the
phone. Groggily Frankie reached over. Trying to pick it up
without waking Murdock who was sleeping at his side was an
almost impossible task. But still he managed it.
It was only when he was already picking up the phone that it
dawned him how surprising it was that someone had been able
to find out the number of Stockwell's hideout.
"Yes?"
"Frankie?"
"Amy how did you get the number?"
"You really asking a reporter to tell he sources?"
"Ahmm...sorry...I mean"
"Silly....Murdock told me. "
He spoke more quietly as Murdock started to wake up.
"ohh I was wondering. You know that Stockwell would have a
fit of he found out."
She only laughed. "From what I gather from the tales Stockwell
gets a fit from everything"
"To true"
"Frankie?" Murdock was only half awaken as he blinked at
Frankie.
"Nothing love. Just talking to Amy."
"Give her my greetings and tell her to call earlier next time or I
will repay the favor" and with that he was asleep again.
"He said to tell you...."
"I hear him....still not Mr. Nice when you wake him up." But
then her voice got softer. "I am happy to hear that things worked
out for you two."
"Yet it definitely did."
"Sleep well Frankie"
"I will.....I certainly will. Bye"
"Bye"
And with that he put the receiver down again.
Seven days ago he would have never thought that he would be
here like this. His arms laying around his lover and feeling
happy about it.
How the space of a few days could change things.
How something that he hadn't even dared to dream about was
now true.
And with that he went to sleep.
Happy that for once in his life his dreams wouldn't be better than
Reality.
The End's
Okay...hope you like the story. And won't kill me because it is
Frankie/Murdock. I just had the idea last Halloween and now
finally had the time to finish the story.