Chicken Soup for the Jun Hater's soul
By:
Dr. Ripper Roo
Don't we all hate Jun? (Or at least?)
Well, since we all hate her, I made the ultimate fic to bash her! Also here is
a little deal you can't refuse, you review more than 3 fics I will write a fic
in your honor. (I'm writing one for Arrei right now, or at least thinking of
one!) Okay then, let's start!
Hi! My name
is Davis and I USED to have a sister named Jun. You want to know what's it like
to live with her? Man it's hell! You got to protect yourself and goes after any
guy she sees. They are bound to lose virginity if they are alone. Anyway, this
is how I got rid of Jun. I was playing my good old Playstation when my sister
came into the living room screaming. I asked her "What's your problem?" She screamed
"I GOT A ZIT!" I really didn't care about my sister having a zit, so who's to
blame? I then realized the open window in the living room and got a wicked
idea. I said "Jun, I know how you can get rid of that zit. Simple, have your
back face towards the window and walk 21 steps back." Jun did as I told, man
would she fall for anything if it had to do with guy. She walked 20 and her
back was towards the window. That's when I came and shoved her out of the
window. She flipped in the air and landed face first into the cement and died.
I then turned around and resumed playing my Playstation. When Matt and all the
guys heard about the news, they all thanked and we all became closer friends.
Not to mention every boy's fear about Jun were soon eased and I became smart. –
Davis
I was
walking down the street after band practice and my break up with Sora. I heard
footsteps behind. I walked a little faster, so did the footsteps. Closer and
closer they got, my heart was thumping, I feel in my throat. I dared not to
look behind me, but my sense of curiosity got the better of me. I turned
around, then my worst fear was soon behind me. It was Jun, I started to run but
there was no else to run to except the forest preserve. I had no other choice,
it was a) Lose virginity with Jun b) Take chances in the forest. Like any
sensible guy who wants to live and not lose virginity I took my way to the
forest. I ran faster and faster and my adrenalin was pumping. Just then there
was a another crash and it was a bear! That just made me run faster. There was
a large tree and I started climbing it. Jun was also climbing the same tree as
me. When you are desperate you do amazing things just to live. I got to the
very top of the tree. There was Jun, she slipped and her hand grabbed a branch.
"Matt, help me!" she screamed. "Sure I'll help, help you DIE THAT IS!" I yelled
back, I broke the branch and Jun screamed all the way hitting every branch and
landing on the bear. The bear attacked her and then ate her whole. (I want to
keep this G rated as possible, trust me, you don't want to know how I describe
it…) I got out of the tree and quickly ran to my house. Dad wasn't home and I
thought I could freshen up a little. I then got a phone call from Davis. He
asked me where was Jun. I told him the whole story; he leaped with joy and told
his parents who seemed very happy. That is my story. – Matt
I was
destroying every thing in path and was heading towards to the next destiny
stone which the those digibrats and there digimon were waiting for me. I soon
entered the clearing where the last destiny stone was. As always I beat the
heck out of their digimon and then proceed towards the destiny stone. Just then
I heard a voice. The one with the hat and goggles quivered in fear. I turned
and there was a girl heading this way. She called out "Mr. Muscle man, can I
have your autograph? I'm your biggest fan and…" I screamed in horror, who is
this, what does she want from me. "Come one more step and I will blast you to
pieces!" I threatened. "You mean like this," she came so close she was 1 inch
from my leg. Then she grabbed my leg saying how huggable and cute I was. I
tried shaking her off my leg, but she stuck like glue. "I'm giving you one more
chance…" I threatened, but she wouldn't listen. I then picked her off my leg
and then blasted her to pieces by using my terra destroyer. She was soon
incinerated. Then the boy with goggles and the one with the hat came towards me
and started kissing my feet. I soon found out that she was never wanted by
anybody in her world. All of a sudden a strange being appeared and his name was
Azuglamon. He told me that I was created to destroy Jun and since I fulfilled
that I could have an early retirement. That is my story. – BlackWarGreymon
I was
practicing soccer when I saw dreaded Jun heading towards the field. Everybody
on my team immediately ran away. I never let anything interfere with my soccer
time, maybe Sora, but nothing else, if it's really a big emergency, that's a
different story. Anyway I was still practicing when Jun came by. "Can I have
your autograph" she squealed. "No way!" I answered, "Can you see I'm
practicing?!" "Pleaseeeeeeee," she squealed once again. "Tell you what, I'll
give a quick soccer lesson, wait one moment while I get a ball," I said. I went
to the boy's locker and searched for something that would destroy Jun. I
thought why not just work her out to death, nah, takes to long. I then noticed
a proximity bomb (It's the one cartoon characters use) and painted it like a
soccer ball. I then lighted it and went out back outside. There was Jun,
standing there, looking like an idiot. I showed her some moves so I could let
the fuse be used. When the fuse was near being gone I passed the bomb to Jun.
When she received the bomb it went BOOM! Pieces of Jun flew all over the
stadium like confetti. Boys from my team leaped out laughed and joked and gave
me hearty pats on the back. – Tai
That's all,
FOR NOW! Come here often to check for updates and other new ways to kill Jun.
Speaking of killing Jun got any ideas? Post them in your review like this:
Jun killed by : Failed surgery
Killer: Joe (Hey that's my idea and I will post it up later!)
Other than that don't forget to review and Arrei, if you are
reading this, don't worry I'll write you a fic for being such a loyal fan!
