It was all your fault. If it hadn't been for your whore of a mother getting knocked up with your stupid ass, I would've been a free man. But no...at the age of nineteen, I was marched down to the courthouse by my pops and Sal Bianco, and when I left there, I was saddled with a wife and a kid on the way. Ma cried like I was dead or something, and Pops just scowled and told me I had to grow up and take responsibility now. And Sal...Jesus Christ, if there was ever a father-in-law from hell, Sal Bianco was it. And you brought all that upon me.
I never wanted any fucking kids. I never had to deal with any rugrats growing up, and I damn sure didn't want to when Antonia got knocked up. Bitch should have known better than to get herself pregnant. But I tried to make the best of it at first. I figured, what the hell. I'd have myself a hot little wife, and as long as she did her job and kept the rugrat out from under my feet, at least we'd be semi-happy.
And believe you me, Antonia was a hot little number. A little too much into the books, but was she a looker, with those big brown eyes and legs from here to Miami. I always had an eye for the ladies. You oughta understand that, Davey; you got an eye for 'em too. A chip off the old block in that department, that's for certain. And I can say one thing for you: at least you've had the good sense to keep from fathering any little rugrats of your own. I guess that's one thing you learned from your old man.
But where was I? Oh, yeah...Toni. For a supposedly smart broad, your mother was damn stupid. Couldn't keep house to save her life. Couldn't fucking boil water. And couldn't keep you from aggravating the piss out of me. So I had to keep her in line, you see. And when you started getting bigger, I had to keep you in line too. That's one thing I learned from my old man. And you'd think, given how Sal Bianco was, that Toni would have been taught how to behave like a proper wife. But no...Sal and Mary put all these ideas into Toni's head about how she could be more if she wanted. So after you and your sisters had started to grow some, I had to listen to all this crap about how she wanted to go back to school. Fuck that. I never gave a rat's ass about school, dropped out in my sophomore year, so why should Toni go giving herself airs about going back? Fucking bitch. She just wanted to be better than me.
She was my fucking wife, and no school could teach her how to be that. She didn't need any fucking school. Hell, she didn't learn how to give head in school, but she did that okay. But I shouldn't oughta say such things about your mother to you, eh, Davey? Heh. See, I knew what that school business was all about. She was hoping to use that as an excuse to leave me. And even though by that time I hated the fucking sight of her, I wasn't about to allow that. That little cunt wasn't about to make a fool out of me.
Honestly, though, the first couple of months weren't so bad. Toni hadn't started to balloon up like a cow yet, and she was still in the mood for getting laid most nights. And even when she lost her shape and wasn't interested in sex anymore, it was still okay. But then your sorry ass came and all bets were off. Worthless as Toni was, I had been the center of her life till then. But all of a sudden, she was all wrapped up in this little wrinkled, squalling lump of skin, and I could've never existed for all she cared.
And then your sisters came along, and they were okay. I still didn't want any kids, but Toni pretty much took care of you all, and at least your sisters were pretty to look at, unlike your ugly mug. They got Toni's looks. The only thing of Toni's you got were her brains, but you use 'em about as much as she did, don'tcha, Davey?
So here I was, in my own house, but surrounded by a bitch I couldn't stand, her sorry whelp of a son, and two little girls that were at least bearable. My own fucking home and I couldn't even relax in it. And that was all your fault, too. Always getting underfoot, always breaking things and making a pain of yourself. You were a lot more of a pain in the ass than your sisters. For every time they'd do something stupid, you'd do something even worse. Maybe that was why, annoying as your sisters could be sometimes, I was easier on them.
And they were pretty little girls. I could tell when Niki was born that she was gonna grow up to be a hot little thing like her Mama. Same with Angie. Of course, given how Toni was, I couldn't expect much more out of 'em. Figured they'd probably follow in her footsteps, get some poor joe all hot and bothered over 'em and end up knocked up before they were twenty. Still, I treated the girls okay. I even babied them every now and then. Couldn't help it. Like I said, I've always had an eye for the ladies. A pretty thing could always wrap me around her finger every time.
Trouble was, eventually Niki turned on me. I figure that was your fault, too. You and she were always pretty close. I don't know how you did it, but you convinced her I was the bad guy. And of course, she was too young to understand how it was, that I'd never wanted a fucking family in the first place, and just got stuck with one because of her punk of a brother. But I had my Angie. Maybe it was because there was such an age gap, with you and Niki being born a year apart, and then Angie five years later. But Angie was always her Daddy's girl.
And of course, once Niki turned on me, she turned into as much trouble as you were. Oh, she managed to wait a few years before turning into big trouble, but I shoulda known it was coming. Pretty girl like her. And as big a slut as her Mama. Walking around the house in those little tank tops and shorts once she started growing boobs and long legs. She wanted it. Just like I knew Toni wanted it that first day I saw her at the ballpark, sitting cross-legged on the bleachers with that little skirt riding up her legs. Hot, I tell ya. I couldn't help myself. Especially after a few beers.
I've always had an eye for the ladies.
How was I supposed to know that Niki would down a fucking bottle of Valium? Fucking little cunt set off a powderkeg then. The shit hit the fan, and when it was all over most of the fucking family was wiped out. But you're still standing, Davey boy, and believe me, that's not because I bore you any fatherly good will at the end. I shoulda slit your miserable throat when I had the chance. But I hesitated, and the next thing I knew, that police marksman's bullet went through my head and that was all she wrote.
Your fault, Davey. What the fuck were you thinking when you charged at me, for the first time ever in your fucking miserable fifteen years of existence? Did you think you were defending your sister's honor? Avenging her? You shouldn'ta tried to hit back, you little bastard. That was the one thing that capped it all. I lost it when you charged me, when you threw that punch. And you see what happened after that. Your fault.
Yeah, pretend you don't hear me, you little cocksucker. You hear me all the time, don't you? I'm that little nagging voice in the back of your head that you can't get rid of. See, that's where I had the last laugh on Toni. She doesn't even know. She sits up wherever she is now weeping her pitiful little tears for her precious little boy, wondering what it is that keeps you back. But I know.
You're afraid you're gonna turn into me.
You've got my eye for the ladies. You've got my temper. And the day you fly off the handle and hit one of those girls of yours, I've won.
But you know what's even funnier, Davey?
As long as you're so afraid of turning into me you're too paralyzed to
do anything, I've won, too.
Yeah, I may be dead, Davey.
But I win.
Remember that, you little bastard.
I win.
Your father,
Victor Malucci