Sayonara
By: Sakura
(Spoilers for episode 31 and
volume 7 of the manga)
Author's notes:
This is the first RK fic I ever
posted. I've written lots of them but
most of them are unfinished. Anyway,
comments and constructive criticisms are very welcome. Send them at clef_loves_umi@yahoo.com. Now, on with this little fic.
Disclaimer: Kaoru and Kenshin and the rest of Rurouni
Kenshin belongs to Watsuki Nobuhiro, and not to me. I just borrowed them, (along with the scene in episode 31) for
this short story.
She was standing
by the riverbank, her slim form illuminated by the fireflies around her. Her breathing was erratic, as though she had
been running, and her hand fluttered nervously to her chest.
Kenshin stood in
the shadows, watching the woman he had come to love so much for a few agonizing
minutes, wondering how to tell her about his decision. It's so much easier to just walk away,
without much of a goodbye, he thought despondently. But I can't do it. Not to her. She has given
me so much. The least I can do is have
the decency to say goodbye. And I have
to see her, even for this last time.
He straightened his shoulders with a new resolve and walked towards
her. "The fireflies really are
beautiful…" he commented softly.
At
the sound of his voice, she whipped around to face him, a welcoming smile on
her beautiful face. "Kenshin!" she greeted
a little breathlessly.
He
stopped in front of her, saying nothing, just looking at her softly, a sad
smile playing on his lips.
Her smile faltered upon
seeing his solemn expression. Her
bright blue eyes dimmed.
"Kenshin…" This time her voice
was anxious, hesitant.
"Okubo-kyo
was assassinated this morning," he stated flatly.
"I
know, we heard."
"The
criminal Shishio sent someone to kill him," Kenshin said with a slight edge in
his voice.
Her
blue eyes widened with horror over his revelation. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but abruptly closed it
again. He continued. "I can't live with myself if I let Shishio
get away from this so…." his voice trailed off.
He paused for a
moment then plunged on. "I'm going back
to Kyoto."
Kaoru
felt her heart stop. "Kyoto…" she said
in disbelief. Her head lowered and she
turned away from him. She looked at her
feet, trying to suppress the tears that suddenly came in her eyes. She tried to keep her voice from
breaking. "Let me ask you. If you go back to Kyoto, will you turn back
into Battousai again?" she asked woodenly.
Kenshin
looked at the stars. Would he turn into
Battousai again? Does he even want to,
even if it's for the good of Japan? "I
don't know," he replied at last. He
took a deep breath, and continued.
"Over the last 10 years, I thought I had put away Battousai. But fighting Saitoh made me realize that the
Hitokiri was still living deep inside of me."
Kaoru
turned back to him, raising fiery blue eyes to meet his sad violet ones. "But you could get rid of him even though
you came close to becoming Battousai!" she said fiercely. "Kenshin will always be Kenshin, a rurouni
who doesn't kill."
He
shook his head sadly. "If I stay here
any longer, I'll put you all in danger and slowly become Battousai again,
little by little."
Kaoru's
head dropped in defeat. Tears sprang
anew in her eyes and she blinked them back to keep them from falling.
Kenshin
was looking softly at her. "I'll never
forget the first time that I met you."
A wistful touched his lips. "You
told me then that you didn't care about my past, and that made me very happy."
Kaoru
bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling.
Her unshed tears were threatening to fall over and she fought hard to
keep them back.
Kenshin
continued tenderly, "I thought that I could live a normal life with you and
just be an ordinary swordsman…"
Suddenly,
he pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly, making Kaoru gasp in
surprise. The fireflies shone around
them, bathing them in their green light.
Since the first
time he had met her, he had always wanted to hold her in his arms like this,
her warmth a balm to his guilt-ridden emotions. But he had never imagined that it would feel this good. Nor had he imagined that it would be in a
situation like this. Put in any other
circumstances, he would have been overwhelmed with happiness. But not tonight. His heart was filled only with sorrow as he held her quivering
form in his arms. This will be the only
time he would get to hold her. And he
savored each moment he had her in his arms, imprinting the way she felt in his
heart and mind.
"Thank
you so much, Kaoru-dono," he whispered brokenly against her hair. "But I am a wanderer." He looked away, his eyes melancholy. "I am continuing on my journey. Goodbye."
The
tears that Kaoru had been holding back started to flow down her cheeks at his
last word. Kenshin was leaving
her! She felt as though her heart were
breaking.
Funny how she had
always wished that he would hold her like this. But the moment he did, she almost wished he hadn't. Not when it's because he thought they would
never see each other again. She closed
her eyes, the tears falling down her cheeks rapidly, and pressed closer against
him. She wanted to relish the feeling
of being held closely by the man she loved, even if it's because he's saying
goodbye.
Kenshin's
arms tightened around her and they stayed like that for a few moments. Gently, he pulled away and held her at arm's
length. He looked at her face for a
long moment, memorizing her lovely features.
Her blue eyes were shimmering with her tears and her lips were swollen
red from biting too hard. Her normally
porcelain complexion was blotchy and every now and then, a pitiful hiccup
escaped from her mouth. But
nevertheless, she still looked beautiful.
I will never forget you, Kaoru, he vowed silently. He looked at her one last time, and walked
away without a backward glance, his heart shattering into little pieces with
every step he took away from her. He
could still hear her tormented sobs, each one of them a knife to his already
broken heart, and tears sprang unbidden into his own eyes as well. More than anything else, he wanted to turn
back and take her again in his arms and comfort her. But he couldn't. He
wouldn't. It would be foolish to
imagine that a future with her was possible.
He was too stained with the blood of those he had killed and he couldn't
possibly taint her purity with the touch of his unclean hands. Maybe it's better this way… He closed
his eyes briefly and saw in his mind's eye Kaoru, her blue eyes alight with
happiness, her lips curved in a beautiful smile, and her arms beckoning to
him. He blinked his tears back and
squared his shoulders. Aishiteru,
Kaoru. Sayonara….
Kaoru watched Kenshin's retreating figure in
a daze, her tears streaming down her cheeks.
Kenshin! Her mind screamed.
Come back to me! "Kenshin…."
She collapsed on her knees from the grief in her heart and wept hard over
the love that had come and gone so quickly in her life. Her heart was breaking
as he heard Kenshin's determined but receding footsteps. "Kenshin," she whimpered brokenly. Aishiteru…
Author's endnotes:
- I hope you enjoyed reading that fic even just a
little. I know it's not so
original but I've always wondered how both of them were feeling in that
scene. Mind you, that scene is my
fave in all the episodes because it was so sad!
- I actually got the dialogues all mixed up! The lines were a combination of the
fansub, the manga translations and the axn dub. Sorry about that!
Not to worry though since I think the essence of the scene was
still there.
- I need help with another story I'm making. It's actually about 25% done already
but I want to know what you guys will think about it. I'm making a Rurouni Kenshin x Fushigi
Yuugi Crossover thing. I made
Kaoru and Misao the Maiden of Suzaku and Seiryuu respectively. There will be temporary pairings
between Kaoru and Hotohori, and Misao and Amiboshi. But of course in the end, it will still
be KxK and Misao and Aoshi. Please
let me know what you think about the idea okay? If you think it's okay, I'd probably continue it and post it
up here but if not… well… I'll still continue it but I guess I won't post
it up here. Thanks in advance!
- Another thing, I was wondering what you guys would
think of a Soujiro-Toki (that beautiful violet-eyed girl from Rurouni
Kenshin the movie; Gentatsu's sister) pairing… Just asking 'cause I'm thinking of making a fic about
them. Mind you, I already made a
Soujiro fic but I made myself the heroine so I don't think I'll be posting
that one up!
- Comments, suggestions (about my fic ideas), even
flames (though go easy on them 'cause I'm a real softie), please send them
at clef_loves_umi@yahoo.com.
- Thanks for reading my fic. (bows) ^_^X
