Loot Diablo!
by Dreadnaught
I was very tired when I wrote this, so if you find it stupid, just email me. Inspired by the "Sanctuary Times" at www.diabloii.net.
Usual copyright stuff goes here.
Chapter 1
*A tall man in a dark grey cloak entered the cell of Mayriu_911.*
Guy in Cloak: So, Mayriu_911, at last I find you.
Mayriu_911: SuPeR_TyReAL_ruxorz? Yes... yes I recognise you now, I should have known you traveled in disguise...
SuPeR_TyReAL_ruxorz: I've been searching for a long time, Mayrius_911, I was rather begining to think that you didn't want to be found.
Mayrius_911: Yeah yeah, it was all my fault. Here's what happened...
*Rogue Encampment, days after the monastery was closed. Our five heroes met as they appeared out of nowhere and froze for a few seconds.*
*A few minutes later...*
Necromancer: Can I have some free stuff plz? Can I have some free stuff plz? Can I have some free stuff plz? Can I have some free stuff plz?
Amazon: For the last time, NO! Say it again and I'll be forced to stab you with my Javelin! And stop staring at my legs!
Necromancer: HA! You can't do that, the god Blizzard forbids any act of violence in town!
Amazon: We'll see about that... Not in town... I can't do this here... Not in... AAARRG!
*Amazon walks away towards Charsi and started to bargin about the price of a studded leather armor.*
Necromancer: Well, since no one's answering, I'll just go ask Gheed. I'm sure he's nicer than all of you four bozos!
*The Necromancer walks up to Gheed.*
Necromancer: Hi...
Gheed: A f***ing Necromancer! I hope I'll never lay my eyes on one of your f@#$ing kind again you m@#$f@#$!
Necromancer: Whoa... Talk about unpleasant greetings...
*A trader in blue, calling him Warriv, stood up.*
Warriv: Ok people, it's time to talk to Akara, maybe she knows what you five mysterius strangers was here to do.
*The sorceress takes out a map and started looking at it.*
Barbarian: You need a map to find your way in town?
Soreress: Well, I can't really see beyond my limited field of vision, whih is about 10 feet.
*After the sorceress finally figured out how to use the mini-map, the five heroes rushed to Akara, who was 11 feet away from them.*
Akara: Me not speak well english. Den of Evil, bad, pkpk monsters you get skill.
Paladin *to Amazon*: Psst, I think she's talking to you.
Amazon: Yeah, but I don't know what she's saying!
Paladin: I thought you spoke amazonian.
Amazon: She's not an amazon. But I think she's saying something about killing the monsters in some den.
Paladin: Ok, let's rock/lock and roll/load.
Necromancer: ...
Amazon: ...
Sorceress: ...
Barbarian: ...
Druid: ...
Paladin: What the... get the @#$% out of Classic D2!
Druid: Okay, okay, don't have a cow king man.
*Druid leaves*
*The next morning, the five took the bus to the den of evil, but they had no idea of the horrors that was in store for them there.*
by Dreadnaught
I was very tired when I wrote this, so if you find it stupid, just email me. Inspired by the "Sanctuary Times" at www.diabloii.net.
Usual copyright stuff goes here.
Chapter 1
*A tall man in a dark grey cloak entered the cell of Mayriu_911.*
Guy in Cloak: So, Mayriu_911, at last I find you.
Mayriu_911: SuPeR_TyReAL_ruxorz? Yes... yes I recognise you now, I should have known you traveled in disguise...
SuPeR_TyReAL_ruxorz: I've been searching for a long time, Mayrius_911, I was rather begining to think that you didn't want to be found.
Mayrius_911: Yeah yeah, it was all my fault. Here's what happened...
*Rogue Encampment, days after the monastery was closed. Our five heroes met as they appeared out of nowhere and froze for a few seconds.*
*A few minutes later...*
Necromancer: Can I have some free stuff plz? Can I have some free stuff plz? Can I have some free stuff plz? Can I have some free stuff plz?
Amazon: For the last time, NO! Say it again and I'll be forced to stab you with my Javelin! And stop staring at my legs!
Necromancer: HA! You can't do that, the god Blizzard forbids any act of violence in town!
Amazon: We'll see about that... Not in town... I can't do this here... Not in... AAARRG!
*Amazon walks away towards Charsi and started to bargin about the price of a studded leather armor.*
Necromancer: Well, since no one's answering, I'll just go ask Gheed. I'm sure he's nicer than all of you four bozos!
*The Necromancer walks up to Gheed.*
Necromancer: Hi...
Gheed: A f***ing Necromancer! I hope I'll never lay my eyes on one of your f@#$ing kind again you m@#$f@#$!
Necromancer: Whoa... Talk about unpleasant greetings...
*A trader in blue, calling him Warriv, stood up.*
Warriv: Ok people, it's time to talk to Akara, maybe she knows what you five mysterius strangers was here to do.
*The sorceress takes out a map and started looking at it.*
Barbarian: You need a map to find your way in town?
Soreress: Well, I can't really see beyond my limited field of vision, whih is about 10 feet.
*After the sorceress finally figured out how to use the mini-map, the five heroes rushed to Akara, who was 11 feet away from them.*
Akara: Me not speak well english. Den of Evil, bad, pkpk monsters you get skill.
Paladin *to Amazon*: Psst, I think she's talking to you.
Amazon: Yeah, but I don't know what she's saying!
Paladin: I thought you spoke amazonian.
Amazon: She's not an amazon. But I think she's saying something about killing the monsters in some den.
Paladin: Ok, let's rock/lock and roll/load.
Necromancer: ...
Amazon: ...
Sorceress: ...
Barbarian: ...
Druid: ...
Paladin: What the... get the @#$% out of Classic D2!
Druid: Okay, okay, don't have a cow king man.
*Druid leaves*
*The next morning, the five took the bus to the den of evil, but they had no idea of the horrors that was in store for them there.*