Loot Diablo!
by Dreadnaught
Chapter 4
*Our five heroes returns to Rogue Encampment after killing Blood Raven.*
Akara: Welcome back!
Barbarian: I thought you didn't speak english.
Akara: I've learned. Try reading "English for Dummies".
Barbarian: *Under his breath* Dummy...
Akara: What's that?
Barbarian: Nuthin'!
Akara: Ahem, well, anyway, I got an email from Deckard Cain. Appearantly his unloyal fans trashed his place after one of his concerts and emprisoned him in a cage. I need you five to save him.
Paladin: No problem! I'll just use my super-cool...
Akara: I'm afraid even your super-cool speed aura won't help, Tristram is too far away... Which is why you need to go to the dark woods. There you will find the Tree of American Airlines. It will drop an airplane ticket once you get close to it. Bring it back and I'll sign it so you can get to tristram by plane.
Paladin: First class, right?
Akara: No... economy, but it's Amarican Airlines so you'll get alot of leg room.
Paladin: Goodie.
*So our five heroes started their journey towards the Dark Woods.*
Necromancer: *Tired* Hey... guys... wait... up...
Sorceress: Aw, come on, we've just started running for 2 seconds.
Necromancer: I can't make it... you guys go on... and carry me with you!
Sorceress: *Rolls eyes*
*Minutes later...*
Barbarian: *Carrying the necromancer on his back* A few more hundred yards and it's the paladin's turn.
Paladin: But I just carried him across the whole underground passage!
Barbarian: No buts.
Paladin: Butt...
Sorceress: Why didn't we take the bus?
Amazon: Remeber how the barb trashed the last one...?
Sorceress: Oh, right. I think he's still on the Tristram's most wanted top ten. Let me check with my TV.
Amazon: TV?
Sorceress: Telekenisis Vision. I think I can get Fox 666 here.
*Sorceress turns on the TV*
Some Guy: ... and he's armed and dangerous. But with YOUR help, we can put this bus-crashing maniac behind bars. If you have seen this barbarian, please call 1-800-crime-tv, or log on to...
Sorceress: Yup, he's still on the top of the list alright.
Necromancer: I hate to interrupt, but with this great view on the barbarian's back, I think I see the Tree of American Airlines.
Amazon: How would you know? There are lots of trees here, how could this be the one?
Necromancer: It has "more leg room" carved onto it.
*Our five heroes finally retrives the airplane ticket, casts a town portal and returns to Akara.*
Akara: Ah, very good, allow me to sign it...
*Akara signs the ticket, the five boards an airplane that poped out of nowhere and the plane took off*
Amazon: Man, this IS leg-roomy.
Paladin: Yup. *Relaxes* Ahhhhh.
Sorceress: *Getting nervous* Did I mention that I was afraid of flying...? I... I can't take this anymore! Let me out! Let me out! Let me out! Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!
*After the triquilizer's effects wore off, the sorceress and the restof the party exits the plane, which has arrived at Tristram*
Sorceress: Man, how long was I out.
Necromancer: For about two hours.
Sorceress: Aw... I don't feel so good, I think that triquilizer's effects are still there.
*After finding the stadium where the fans of Deckard Cain kept him emprisoned, they slashed their way towards the cage*
Paladin: Take that unloyal fans!
*Paladin starts to shoot magical hammers out of his underarm. Everything in the area was wipped out*
Sorceress: That skill's ought to be nerfed...
Paladin: Wa?
Sorceress: Nouthin'.
Decaked Cain: Help!
*Barbarian frees Decaked Cain from his cage*
Barbarian: Decaked Cain, get the f@#$ outta here before you're f@#$ed!
Decaked Cain: Thank you, friend for coming to...
Barbarian: Shut the... *Barbarian casts a town portal and pushes Decaked Cain in to it.*
Deckard Cain: AHHH!
Barbarian: Alright people, let's get the hell outta here!
*They all went into the town portal, mysteriously, none of the monsters follow. Oh yeah, they were killed by the paladin's overpowered skill.*
Amazon: That's a close one, did you see that guy in the red shirt coming at us? He looked like one hell of a tough b@#$%.
Akara: You have risked your life to rescue cain, as a reward, you all get a crappy ring which I no longer need.
Paladin: All of that for THIS?
Deckard Cain: Thanks, dudes, for helping me. Now as a token of my gratitude, I'll bust a rhyme for ya.
All Five: Oh no....
*To be continued.*
________________________
Author's Note: If you haven't heard the Cain Rap already, go to blizzard.com and check for their april fool's day's news.
by Dreadnaught
Chapter 4
*Our five heroes returns to Rogue Encampment after killing Blood Raven.*
Akara: Welcome back!
Barbarian: I thought you didn't speak english.
Akara: I've learned. Try reading "English for Dummies".
Barbarian: *Under his breath* Dummy...
Akara: What's that?
Barbarian: Nuthin'!
Akara: Ahem, well, anyway, I got an email from Deckard Cain. Appearantly his unloyal fans trashed his place after one of his concerts and emprisoned him in a cage. I need you five to save him.
Paladin: No problem! I'll just use my super-cool...
Akara: I'm afraid even your super-cool speed aura won't help, Tristram is too far away... Which is why you need to go to the dark woods. There you will find the Tree of American Airlines. It will drop an airplane ticket once you get close to it. Bring it back and I'll sign it so you can get to tristram by plane.
Paladin: First class, right?
Akara: No... economy, but it's Amarican Airlines so you'll get alot of leg room.
Paladin: Goodie.
*So our five heroes started their journey towards the Dark Woods.*
Necromancer: *Tired* Hey... guys... wait... up...
Sorceress: Aw, come on, we've just started running for 2 seconds.
Necromancer: I can't make it... you guys go on... and carry me with you!
Sorceress: *Rolls eyes*
*Minutes later...*
Barbarian: *Carrying the necromancer on his back* A few more hundred yards and it's the paladin's turn.
Paladin: But I just carried him across the whole underground passage!
Barbarian: No buts.
Paladin: Butt...
Sorceress: Why didn't we take the bus?
Amazon: Remeber how the barb trashed the last one...?
Sorceress: Oh, right. I think he's still on the Tristram's most wanted top ten. Let me check with my TV.
Amazon: TV?
Sorceress: Telekenisis Vision. I think I can get Fox 666 here.
*Sorceress turns on the TV*
Some Guy: ... and he's armed and dangerous. But with YOUR help, we can put this bus-crashing maniac behind bars. If you have seen this barbarian, please call 1-800-crime-tv, or log on to...
Sorceress: Yup, he's still on the top of the list alright.
Necromancer: I hate to interrupt, but with this great view on the barbarian's back, I think I see the Tree of American Airlines.
Amazon: How would you know? There are lots of trees here, how could this be the one?
Necromancer: It has "more leg room" carved onto it.
*Our five heroes finally retrives the airplane ticket, casts a town portal and returns to Akara.*
Akara: Ah, very good, allow me to sign it...
*Akara signs the ticket, the five boards an airplane that poped out of nowhere and the plane took off*
Amazon: Man, this IS leg-roomy.
Paladin: Yup. *Relaxes* Ahhhhh.
Sorceress: *Getting nervous* Did I mention that I was afraid of flying...? I... I can't take this anymore! Let me out! Let me out! Let me out! Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!
*After the triquilizer's effects wore off, the sorceress and the restof the party exits the plane, which has arrived at Tristram*
Sorceress: Man, how long was I out.
Necromancer: For about two hours.
Sorceress: Aw... I don't feel so good, I think that triquilizer's effects are still there.
*After finding the stadium where the fans of Deckard Cain kept him emprisoned, they slashed their way towards the cage*
Paladin: Take that unloyal fans!
*Paladin starts to shoot magical hammers out of his underarm. Everything in the area was wipped out*
Sorceress: That skill's ought to be nerfed...
Paladin: Wa?
Sorceress: Nouthin'.
Decaked Cain: Help!
*Barbarian frees Decaked Cain from his cage*
Barbarian: Decaked Cain, get the f@#$ outta here before you're f@#$ed!
Decaked Cain: Thank you, friend for coming to...
Barbarian: Shut the... *Barbarian casts a town portal and pushes Decaked Cain in to it.*
Deckard Cain: AHHH!
Barbarian: Alright people, let's get the hell outta here!
*They all went into the town portal, mysteriously, none of the monsters follow. Oh yeah, they were killed by the paladin's overpowered skill.*
Amazon: That's a close one, did you see that guy in the red shirt coming at us? He looked like one hell of a tough b@#$%.
Akara: You have risked your life to rescue cain, as a reward, you all get a crappy ring which I no longer need.
Paladin: All of that for THIS?
Deckard Cain: Thanks, dudes, for helping me. Now as a token of my gratitude, I'll bust a rhyme for ya.
All Five: Oh no....
*To be continued.*
________________________
Author's Note: If you haven't heard the Cain Rap already, go to blizzard.com and check for their april fool's day's news.