Limelight
Chapter Eight
By: Karisma
Rated: PG-13
Genre: Alt, Romance
www.geocities.com/karismafanfic
Karisma456@hotmail.com
Standard Disclaimers Apply
May 2001
She started urgently, forcing herself to remain calm because she
knew she had to take this very slowly. "Let me explain," she winced as
she got the words out, realizing how they utterly reeked of guilt on
her part, so she said the only thing of truth that could possibly stop
him at this time. "I love you."
He interrupted anything further she might have said with a look of
such utter revulsion her throat froze. "Understand this. There is
nothing you could say that I would believe. Nothing." She felt tears
prick the back of her eyes at the cruelty in his words, realizing they
were completely deserved, but nonetheless disbelieving that he was
actually saying them to her.
"You're a winner,"—his gaze flicked to the addressed letter that he
held tightly in his hand—"Serena Kinsley." His mouth twisted into a
derisive smirk. "A real class-A winner. Just when I thought I'd seen it
all—a beautiful, manipulative liar such as yourself enters." He clapped
his hands slowly, the sharp sound cutting straight to her heart. "Give
yourself a bow, Serena. Not many women have the ability to act sweet
when they are really vindictive—"
"Stop it!" Serena cried out, unable to endure any more of his
lashes. "Stop it. It wasn't supposed to be like this." Her resolve to
remain calm crumbled at the hatred she saw in his eyes. Her voice
turned into a broken whisper. "Last night when—"
"When I made an utter fool of myself," he intercepted, the raw
emotion she had seen on his face gone, in place a hard mask of
indifference. "You thought you would call Mina and say you have had so
much fun screwing with Darien Eddington's life, you've decided to stay
two more weeks, is that it?"
"No!" She burst out, her expression frantic because she realized
she was losing him—and there wasn't anything she could do about it.
Grasping for anything that might sway him to calm down and listen to
her, she sucked in a shuddering breath. "Darien, I swear—"
"You swear?" Darien's incredulous voice broke through, look down at
her with a contemptuous glance. "Forgive me if I don't rush to believe
everything you have to say here, Serena."
"Look," she tried again desperately. "Mina called me because she
needed a break. I never planned I' d meet you—"
"Save it!" He barked, cutting a hand through the air as if
sentencing the matter to a close. His voice turned silky with the
menacing underlay of steel. "What I'm really interested in is why."
"I told you," Serena choked out, wiping her wet face with her hand
roughly. "Mina came to me—"
"You see," Darien cut in calmly. "That's not what I think. I think
you two are a pair of devious manipulators who came up with this
extraordinary coup to for the sole purpose of entertainment.
"So whose idea was it? Yours, no doubt. Nevermind, I don't really
care. All I know is that your little perfidy is over and it's time to
for Serena to take that bow she's been itching to have." He yanked his
dark jacket off the perfectly made bed and folded it over his arm.
Striding to the living room with quick, lithe movements, he paused just
before the door, turning back to her stricken face.
"But how long would you have kept it up? Would you have allowed me
to propose before bringing out Mina and slapping me in the face with
it?"
"No," Serena sobbed brokenly. "I was planning on telling you
today."
"Right," he drawled, smirking. He paused. "You know, I knew you
were different from Mina—but I didn't think it was for the worst. I
thought you were sweet and unaffected by everything Hollywood does to a
person. Mina may have her shallow moments, but at least she doesn't
hide it. She's open and honest." He looked at her with disgust. "You on
the other hand, are sneaky and devious—and everything she's not."
She kept her gaze on the carpet below her, tears slipping out of
the corners of her eyes. She missed the painfully poignant look he gave
her, just as she missed the look of utter despair that crossed his face
before he walked out the door, shutting it firmly behind him.
****
Serena stared blankly at the door for immeasurably amount of time,
wondering if this were all some horrible nightmare she would soon awake
from to find Darien's arms around her. Semi shocked to realize it was
real, she moved around the room woodenly, wondering what it was she
should do.
As she resigned herself to packing for the first plane that would
take her back to Campton, anger seeped in and eradicated most of the
absolute despair she felt. Remembering the pejorative words he had
flung at her and her sister, Serena's resolve hardened. There was no
way she'd let herself mourn the loss of a man whose supposed love
didn't stand the test of hardship. He hadn't even bothered to listen!
Not acknowledging the tiny seed of emptiness embedded within her,
she forced herself to cling on to the fury she felt. Wrath was better
than anguish—wrath fueled her to move; anguish compelled her to crumple
into a heap and cry.
****
One hour later, Serena was driving her rented car to the airport.
She had made arrangements for it to be delivered back to the rental
company soon after her departure. Apparently, the name Mina Kinsley
carried weight. She could have requested a police escort and a circus
waiting for her and the order would have no doubt been carried.
Driving at a speed she had reprimanded her sister for when they
were sixteen, Serena jerked into another lane, her hands clutching the
wheel so tightly, her knuckled were white. Impulsively, she turned off
into a street and headed around, making her way to the familiar road
toward Darien's home.
A guard was outside the ornate gates and she managed a bright,
nonchalant smile as she lifted her dark sunglasses up to her blonde
head.
"Hi," she said pleasantly, effectively diminishing the quavering
that her being emanated at the realization of what she was about to do.
"Is Mr. Eddington in?"
After blushing and asking for her autograph for his wife and kids,
the guard buzzed her in without so much as an afterthought. Apparently,
Darien hadn't gotten around to placing her name on the black list of
people who could absolutely not enter under no circumstances—right up
there with the paparazzi.
She strode in, head held high, without a second glance at her
lavish surroundings. Making her way through an expansive and
meticulously decorated entrance, complete with a butler and miniature
waterfall, Serena nodded her head to the elderly man in return for his
information concerning Darien's whereabouts in the large mansion.
Her low heels clicking on the marble floor, Serena made her way to
the study, holding on to her anger and depending on it to get her
through the next crucial moment. Swinging open the double doors, she
treaded in, flicking over the vast collection of books and settling her
gaze on the single man at a dark, wooden desk.
He looked up, his face registering his second of surprise before a
look of staid boredom covered any emotion. He had showered, his hair
still damp, and had changed into a dark silk shirt and pressed slacks.
Pulling off a pair of gold reading glasses that looking absurdly sexy
on him, he looked at her stoically, obviously waiting for her to begin.
She didn't disappoint him.
"Not only are you an utter hypocrite, you're also a heartless brute
who wouldn't be capable of loving if his life depended on it. Yes, I
lied to you. And I'm sorry—you won't believe just how sorry I am. But
you lied too, Darien. You told me you loved me, but obviously, you
didn't love me enough to let me explain." Her voice started with fiery
determination and faded away to a wounded tone she hated.
"I told you I loved you when I thought you were Mina."
It was meant to cut and it did. Serena recoiled as if she had been
slapped. And in that instant, she realized by just how much she was
hanging on to. She would lose him if this meeting didn't work. She
would lose him forever. And he would continue hating her.
"Don't do this to us," she whispered achingly. "Please, I'm begging
you. Don't do this to us." Her tone was pitiful and she knew she had
just placed her pride on the line—she was doing everything short of
begging on her knees.
He stared into her drenched eyes for a moment and for a moment,
Serena thought maybe—just maybe she had gotten through his impassive
demeanor. Then he spoke.
"I initially made the mistake of not informing the guards to not
let you in." He placed his glasses back on and bent his head over the
papers on his desk. He continued to speak drolly, not bothering to look
up at her expressive face. "I'll tell them to do so once you're
escorted out."
He was throwing her out.
She wanted to fling something caustic and harsh in his face. She
wanted to depart with words that would hurt him as much as he had hurt
just now. But it took all her energy just to calmly walk out of the
study and then exit the mansion. She drove back to the hotel serenely
and braked into her guest parking. Only when she mutely acknowledged
she had missed her flight, did she bite her tremulous lip and bend her
head over the wheel, her hands clutching it forcefully, crying openly.
She needed to go home. She didn't belong here—she never had. This
was Mina's place with Mina's life—and Darien loved Mina. The limelight
wasn't for her, it was made for her sister. And apparently, so was
Darien.
****
Darien Eddington knocked over an expensive double pencil holder
among other things on his desk in one deft movement, watching with no
satisfaction as they fell to the marble floor with a loud cacophony.
She had played him perfectly—every nuance, every kiss, every touch.
He had believed them to be sacred moments that he reveled in.
Instead they were all part of a wonderful ruse that he had been
inconceivably naïve about.
She was a better actress then he and Mina combined, he realized with
a twist of his mouth. She took the cake.
Not only had be thought of her as a dilettante to the entire world
of intimate relationships and Hollywood, he had been willing to pour
his heart out to a cold woman who could put Meryl Streep to shame. He
had been planning to marry her!
She was a virus—a parasite. One who got her kicks by humiliating
others. And the sooner he erased her from his mind and life, the
better. Because Serena Kinsley wasn't the type of woman you married—she
was the type you wanted and then discarded.
And the throbbing in his chest would soon pass, as would the empty
dejection his heart screamed. And time healed all wounds.
But even as he reassured himself with empty words, he had the
distinct impression that time couldn't heal him from one slip of woman
named Serena Kinsley.
****
"What is the matter with you?" Mina demanded of her sister a few
days later, hands on her slim hips, her newly acquired tan radiating.
"You've been a gloomy Gus since you came back."
"Just leave me alone, Mina." Serena sighed tiredly, picking lightly
at the pastel rose pattern on her throw pillow
"No," Mina insisted, snatching the cushion away, forcing her sister
to look at her. "What is your problem?"
"Nothing!" Serena bit out harsher than she had intended. Sighing,
she retracted her statement. "I'm sorry."
"I gave you a vacation, Serena. Be happy!"
Serena snorted. "Excuse me? I get stuck working eighteen hour days,
doing interviews about things I no clue about. You go to Tahiti and
meet your dream man. Who had a vacation?"
Mina sighed heavily. "I'm sorry about all that. But you had fun—you
had a little affair with Darien Eddington, didn't you?" Mina nudged her
sister suggestively, not noticing the stiffness that entered her body.
"We did not have an affair," Serena said shortly, looking away from
Mina to a painting on her wall.
"Sure," Mina drawled. "And all the photos everywhere are just making
it up, right? Darien told everyone that you and he were an item."
"You mean Darien and Mina." Serena corrected bitterly.
"Yes," Mina gave a sigh of a martyr. "And I'll be up to my ears
trying to sort through that mess."
"Sorry." She said tersely.
"It's quite all right," Mina rambled on gaily, not seeing the
moisture that filled up her sister's eyes. "The way I see it, you
should be thanking me for giving you a fabulous chance to loosen—"
It took them both by surprise when Serena abruptly shot up from the
couch, her expression furious as she glared down at her sister.
"Thanking you?" She spat out, her voice dripping with venom. "Thanking
you? Yes, well, let me thank you, Mina, for the big hole in my heart
for the past few days. Let me thank you for the fact that my life is
now in pieces. Let me thank you for the fact my heart is breaking!"
Serena stared into her sister's astonished face, her breathing
ragged from her emotional tirade. She closed her hot eyes and fell back
against the sofa, willing herself not to cry again.
"Serena?" Mina finally whispered, her voice shaky and hesitant.
"Tell me you're not—you didn't…"
Her answer was silence and it was good enough.
"Geez," Mina breathed. "Why didn't you tell me?" She shook her head,
thinking a loud. "All this time I've been raving about wedding plans
with Andrew, and you've—" she cut herself off and started a completely
new line of thought. "Well, we have to fix this."
Serena's head snapped up at her dogged tone. "No! Just-just stay out
of it, please, Mina?"
Mina looked down at her sister's haggard face and her own softened.
Smoothing Serena's brow as she had done for her when they were young,
Mina flipped the afghan over the couch and onto Serena's tired form.
"Go to sleep, Sere." Mina whispered, watching tenderly as Serena closed
her exhausted eyes. Kissing her forehead, Mina straightened and locked
her jaw in determination.
She had a bone to pick with certain Academy-Award nominated actor.
****
Mina drove straight from the airport to Darien's house in a rental
car that was presumably under her name. Slowing when she reached the
formidable gates that surrounded the lavish house, she rolled down her
window the converse with the guard.
The guard looked down at her somberly. "Sorry, Miss Kinsley, Mr.
Eddington has placed strict orders that you are not to be allowed in
here."
Mina flashed an effortlessly winning smile. She had expected as
much. "If you check the list again, I believe you'll see that Serena
Kinsley is not allowed—I'm Mina Kinsley." Still grinning sweetly to
cover her nervousness, she bit her lip while the guard double checked a
clipboard.
"You're right," the guard informed her. The stout man flashed her a
smile of his own. "I wanted to thank you again for signing them papers
for my children. It meant a lot to them."
Covering her initial confusion well, Mina simply laughed and replied
easily. "You're more than welcome."
Less than two minutes later she was walking the same path
unbeknownst to her, her sister had treaded not a week earlier. Pulling
open the doors that led to the study, she walked in, her chin jutted
out in obduracy.
"Well, well, well." Darien drawled, shoving back the sides of his
jacket to put his hands in his pant pockets. "To what do I owe this
pleasure?" He pretended to look confused, knowing full well which twin
was which. "Is it Mina? Or Serena?" He clicked his tongue. "You're both
so much alike."
Of course he knew it was Mina. This sister didn't make his blood
pressure rise with a smile nor did her laugh make him want to. This
sister's presence left him unmoved while Serena's compelled him to hold
her.
She fixed him with an icy glare that surprised him, considering he
was the one with the full right to be fuming, while she was the
reprehensible one. Or rather her sister. Maybe Mina hadn't even known
about what her sister was doing, maybe Mina had gone away for a quiet
vacation and Serena had seen it as the perfect opportunity to step in
and take the limelight.
But Mina's pugnacious words erased that theory from his mind. "I
came to Serena less than three weeks ago, begging her to take my place
for two weeks so that I could get a break from life. I hadn't spoken to
her in over eight years and still she dropped everything to for a favor
to me." She gave a laugh. "Because that is the kind of person she is."
Mina moved around the large room, running a finger along the spines
of leather bound books before spinning around to look at him with a
deadly calm about her. "Do you know that when we were kids, Serena was
always looking out for me?"
"However fascinating this is—" Darien began irritably, running a
hand through his dark hair.
"Shut up, Darien." Mina snapped quietly and Darien complied with a
frustrated roll of his blue eyes. "Even though we were twins, Serena
always seemed to be older by years—in everything. If you gave me three
years of your time, I couldn't to tell you everything she has done for
me.
"When we were fifteen, Serena covered for me while I cut school. She
ran around to all my classes; told the teachers some lame excuses and
even took a test I'd put off for weeks. When we were sixteen, I snuck
out of the house to go to a concert with my boyfriend and came home
drunk as a skunk. Serena made me drink loads of coffee and kept it from
our parents. At seventeen, my prom date stood me up and Serena told her
date to go on without her and stayed with me the entire night,
comforting me. And then when we were eighteen—," she broke off now,
tears forming in her crystalline eyes—"I went on a date with this awful
guy—tattoos everywhere and not an un-stoned day on his record. Serena
begged me not to go, but I didn't listen. Later that night, after
drinking more than his body weight, he tried to rape me. Serena came—to
this day I don't know how she knew I was in trouble—and broke his car
window with a crowbar and hauled me out of there."
Darien was looking at her with concealed interest, his mind coming
to form an idea to the point she was trying to make.
Mina looked up from her intertwined hands, tears sliding down her
pale face. "And then," she let out a choked laugh. "I leave her without
a word for eight years to build my career. I leave her to face the
aftershock of our mother's death alone and then deal with our father's
death shortly after. After which, I come to her door begging for my
sister and does she laugh and throw me out? No, she agrees to live my
horrible life, do my demanding job and not complain once! Because, like
I said, that's the kind of person she is."
At his disgusted snort of disbelief, Mina glared at him. She bit
out without a moment's hesitation. "Darien, when Serena switched places
with me, she and I both thought you were on vacation somewhere—we
thought it would be easier for Serena because you weren't around to
suspect anything. So, if she wanted to pull off some grand hoax to
screw with you, why would she do it on the two weeks you were
supposedly going to be in Bahamas?" She watched a stricken expression
replace his bored one with satisfaction.
She continued, ignoring his look of horror at his grave mistake.
"And the thing that gets me is that after all that, after all the
heartbreak I've caused her—after all the heartbreak you've caused her,
she still loves us." Mina came closer to Darien, searching his blank
eyes for an iota of emotion. "Serena is the most loyal, wonderful
person I have ever met. And for some reason, she loves you. Even after
all you've done to her—most of which she won't tell me—she still loves
you, Darien." His clenched jaw twitched imperceptibly at that bit of
information. "Serena can find someone better than you—I know that. Lord
knows she deserves someone better than you. But you'll never find
someone half as amazing as her."
With that, she spun her heel, prepared to leave now that she had
said her piece. Walking smartly across the floor, she had reached the
oak doors before his voice called out to her.
"Campton, right?"
Mina, with her back turned to him, let out a smile of relief. When
she rotated her head to glance back at him, her face was devoid of all
emotion. She gave a curt nod and left—flashing the ornery butler a
smile that lit up most silver screens in her jubilance.
She hoped to God it would work out. She prayed for it to. Serena
deserved it. And Mina also prayed for it somewhat selfishly. If Darien
did his part then Serena would be a very happy woman. A grateful, happy
woman. And Mina wanted—needed—to do something to repay her sister for
all the years of sisterhood Serena had given her.
****
Serena dumped her mail on her dining table, rubbing the back of her
neck tiredly. Sighing, she flopped down on the couch. The lab had been
a mess today. Melvin, her co-worker down at the lab had been sick and
then something experiment had gone all wrong—causing her to be forced
to leave work in the middle of the day. She had had to go back to work
immediately since the rest of the world thought the past two weeks had
been a vacation for Serena Kinsley.
A vacation, Serena thought with an ironic laugh. What a complete
joke.
Most days she couldn't decide whether to regret ever laying eyes on
Darien Eddington or relish the blissful moments they had spent
together. She was torn between the two.
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Perhaps the cliché was right, the poignant memories she shared with
Darien were something no one could take away and it was best to
remember him like the sensitive man that had kissed her and told her he
loved her rather than the angry one who had been revolted at the sight
of her. If nothing else, she had the delusion that Darien had, at one
time, loved her deeply.
She sighed heavily again, and turned on the television to keep her
mind from wandering that much traveled path that led to an inevitable
sobbing fest. She changed the channels idly and froze, wishing she had
gone straight to sleep in the afternoon instead.
There, in front of her eyes, was the commercial she had skillfully
avoided for the past week. But now, as it started, she was unable to
tear her eyes away from it or change the channel.
As the announced droned on, giving segments of the plot away but
nothing to reveal the true nature of the film, Serena stared transfixed
as the screen was split into two parts. One side was a picture of her
smiling, the other was of him grinning that disarming smile. Then clips
of the movie rolled while the movie's soundtrack played in the
background.
Jared offering Chloe a bit of his ice cream cone then shoving it
into her nose as she leaned in…a close up of her outraged face and his
laughing one…a shot of them slow dancing in an empty, dark room…a
picture of their first kiss on that same dance floor…the scene with the
rose in the garden where Jared ran the flower lightly over Chloe's
features…a clip of Chloe sobbing when she told Jared she couldn't be
with him…his dejected face…Chloe running away…and the final shot their
silhouettes against a sunset on the beach, Chloe's hair blowing in the
breeze, her arms wrapped around Jared as they leaned it…and then the
title of the film: Only You.
How painfully true that title turned out to be, Serena thought
bitterly, flicking off the television with an unsatisfying harsh jab.
Groaning at the seemingly multitude of hours she had to kill before she
would try to sleep, Serena rubbed her face, running through her
options.
Finally deciding, she grabbed the black jacket she had just
discarded and shrugged it on, flipping her loose hair over the collar.
Jogging down the apartment steps, she stepped out into the soon to be
dying daylight, enjoying the autumn smells that Campton emanated.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Chapin," she called to the elderly man
whittling on his porch. His response was a grunt and a half wave and
Serena took it with a fond smile. She had known the man since she was a
toddler. He had read to her and tucked her in and she and Mina had both
peed on him at one time or another.
She walked through the small town, smiling and waving at the
familiar faces, convincing herself it was wonderful to be home.
Reaching her destination, she entered the large bookstore with pride.
Campton was a tiny town, but they had one of the largest, most eclectic
bookstores in the state.
Unwittingly, making a bee-line for the science fiction section, she
waved to Margie, a clerk, and browsed through the new books that had
arrived while she had been away. It wasn't until she red the label
above the racks that she realized where her traitorous body had taken
her. Against her will, she remembered Darien's comment about his genre
of books at the current moment: science fiction. Shaking her head, she
took one especially fat novel off the eye level rack and immediately
froze.
On the other side of the large gap that the missing book had caused,
was a pair of silver blue eyes she had come to know very well—and tried
extremely hard to forget.
"Serena?" His deep voice came from across and she panicked. Dropping
book haphazardly on a nearby reading table, she sprinted out the
sliding doors, ignoring the stares as Darien called after her. "Serena,
wait!"
She ran all the way home, dimly recalling how she had told him of
the bookstore in her hometown while they were at the airport. But that
didn't explain why he was here. Her breathing ragged when she reached
the safe haven of her apartment, Serena got to wondering just how safe
it really was.
With the dawning realization that everybody in the tiny town knew
where she lived and it wouldn't take long for Darien to find her,
Serena ran to her bedroom and packed a bag, dumping contents in
blindly. Clicking the luggage shut, she hauled it off her floral
comforter and jogged to the door. Grabbing a set of keys and her purse,
she flung open the door and walked right into a hard body.
Stumbling a few steps back into the apartment, Serena looked up
dazedly into an achingly familiar face.
"Hello, Serena."
Blindly, she dropped her bag and prepared herself to bulldoze past
him if she had to. Walking quickly, she had just made it before he had
her in his arms, shutting the door behind him with his foot. Not
releasing his hold on her, he all but carried her to the living room,
surveying his surroundings with interest at how Serena—the real Serena—
lived.
Looking back down at the frightened woman in his arms, he smiled
briefly at her beautifully pale face. Staring at her now, he wondered
how he ever could have thought Serena was Mina. Their faces were as
different as their personalities. Serena's cheekbones were more
prominent, her lips fuller, her eyelashes thicker, her hair more
golden, her eyes a unique shade of crystalline blue.
Without realizing what he was doing, he bent his head and kissed
her, his lips showing his apology, imploring her to forgive him.
"No!" she wrenched her face away from him so that his lips brushed
her temple. She tried to struggle from his grasp and after some debate
he let her go.
"Serena," he began, loving her name, her face, her soul more than he
deemed possible.
"No!" She all but yelled, her lips quivering. "I don't want to hear
it. Just get out."
"I can't." He answered helplessly. She missed the look of despair
in his dark eyes.
"Then I will," she said succinctly, heading toward the door once
again. But Darien intercepted, catching her in his arms once again. It
was then she snapped, beating against his taut chest with her small
fists. "I begged you! I stood there and begged you! You heartless…" She
sobbed against him, mumbling incoherent things, some of which that
questioned his legitimacy as a child.
When it was over and the battering her hands produced had subsides,
she laid limp against him, crying into his neck with a despondency that
tore at him. "I'm sorry," he rasped out, rubbing her back gently,
soothing her wracking sobs with a helplessness that he hated. "I'm so
sorry."
"Fine." She said dully, pulling away from him. "You apologized. I
accept. Now please leave."
Darien gazed at her sparkling eyes and watched as a tear clung to
her eyelashes then dripped down her porcelain cheek. He had hurt her
beyond belief. She had apologized profusely, but he hadn't wanted to
listen. After being the aim of his spiteful comments, she had come back
for more, come back for to salve their relationship. And not only had
he watched her coldly as she begged and sobbed, he had thrown her out
with humiliatingly finality. And now he recalled her astonished
behavior when he had told her he loved her that last night. She hadn't
wanted him to say it—to protect him. She hadn't wanted him to get hurt.
And this was how he repayed her.
"I love you," he said raggedly, his face as white as a sheet, his
eyes dark with pain at her hurting.
Serena closed her eyes, anguish ripping through her. "No, you love
Mina. Remember? You said so that—that day." She was fighting for
control—and losing.
Darien winced at the recollection of that particularly cruel
statement he himself had driven into her. "No," he said gently, his
tone firm. "I love you. And as for the things I accused you of—I'm
sorry, Serena. I'm so sorry." He closed his eyes in self-disgust.
"I already said I accepted. Now will you leave?" Serena pleaded,
reaching the end of her tether.
"No," it was unambiguous as he held her smaller hands in his,
bending his head slightly so she forced to look at him through shining
eyes. "You said you loved me that morning and I know you meant it. So—"
he took a shuddering breath and Serena saw a vulnerability in his eyes
she had never been held privy to before. "Do you love me, Serena?"
Serena felt an acute sense of de ja vu as she remembered that last
night they had spent together. Where he had admitted his love for her.
No, for Mina. She wanted to lie to him again like she had that night
and tell him he meant nothing to her. But they both knew that was not
true.
It was his eyes, Serena realized with a heady feeling. That night he
had looked into her eyes and seen the truth and if she looked up now,
he'd see it again.
"I really don't see how it matters," Serena whispered, staring down
at her sneakered feet. "You love Mina."
Darien let out a growl and pulled her to him, his arms strong but
curiously gentle. "I love the woman who completed Only You with me. I
love the woman who made me throw popcorn at people. I love the woman
who dragged me into an art museum and confessed she was afraid of
something. I love the woman who doesn't realize it, but is afraid of
losing people. You are afraid, Serena. You're afraid that since you
lost your parents, and temporarily lost Mina, you'll lose everything."
He braced his hands on her cheeks, wiping the tears away. "And then I
left you." He shook his head in self-loathing. "But I'm here—and I'm
not going anywhere."
It was quiet for a full, pregnant minute until Serena's head came
up from her study of the carpet. "I'm sorry," her voice was barely
audible.
Darien was taken back. "For what?"
"For lying to you," she sniffled. "I-I didn't want to—" she cut
herself off. "I'm sorry."
"I'm not." He replied shortly. "If Mina hadn't asked you to switch
places with her, I would have never met you. And I can't imagine my
life without you."
She sniffed again and brought her tear-stained face up to his view.
She was shocked to see his own beautiful eyes grow misty. Her lips
trembled uncertainly as she spoke her next words with a firm ardor, "I
love you, Darien Eddington."
He was perfectly still for a moment, his body taut. And then he
crushed her to him, rocking back and forth in a comforting pattern.
"And I love you, Serena Kinsley."
With that, she promptly burst into tears. He stopped rocking
alarmed at her tears. "What happened?" He asked, alarmed. Pulling back
to look at her face awash with tears, he searched her eyes for a clue.
"Nothing," she said happily, her smile watery. "I just always
wondered how it would sound when you said that with my name."
Laughing lightly, he pulled her closer to him. "You'll get sick of
it once I start saying it thirty times a day."
"Never," she promised fiercely, her hold on him growing tighter as
he bent his head down to kiss her. Her. Serena Kinsley.
Chapter Eight
By: Karisma
Rated: PG-13
Genre: Alt, Romance
www.geocities.com/karismafanfic
Karisma456@hotmail.com
Standard Disclaimers Apply
May 2001
She started urgently, forcing herself to remain calm because she
knew she had to take this very slowly. "Let me explain," she winced as
she got the words out, realizing how they utterly reeked of guilt on
her part, so she said the only thing of truth that could possibly stop
him at this time. "I love you."
He interrupted anything further she might have said with a look of
such utter revulsion her throat froze. "Understand this. There is
nothing you could say that I would believe. Nothing." She felt tears
prick the back of her eyes at the cruelty in his words, realizing they
were completely deserved, but nonetheless disbelieving that he was
actually saying them to her.
"You're a winner,"—his gaze flicked to the addressed letter that he
held tightly in his hand—"Serena Kinsley." His mouth twisted into a
derisive smirk. "A real class-A winner. Just when I thought I'd seen it
all—a beautiful, manipulative liar such as yourself enters." He clapped
his hands slowly, the sharp sound cutting straight to her heart. "Give
yourself a bow, Serena. Not many women have the ability to act sweet
when they are really vindictive—"
"Stop it!" Serena cried out, unable to endure any more of his
lashes. "Stop it. It wasn't supposed to be like this." Her resolve to
remain calm crumbled at the hatred she saw in his eyes. Her voice
turned into a broken whisper. "Last night when—"
"When I made an utter fool of myself," he intercepted, the raw
emotion she had seen on his face gone, in place a hard mask of
indifference. "You thought you would call Mina and say you have had so
much fun screwing with Darien Eddington's life, you've decided to stay
two more weeks, is that it?"
"No!" She burst out, her expression frantic because she realized
she was losing him—and there wasn't anything she could do about it.
Grasping for anything that might sway him to calm down and listen to
her, she sucked in a shuddering breath. "Darien, I swear—"
"You swear?" Darien's incredulous voice broke through, look down at
her with a contemptuous glance. "Forgive me if I don't rush to believe
everything you have to say here, Serena."
"Look," she tried again desperately. "Mina called me because she
needed a break. I never planned I' d meet you—"
"Save it!" He barked, cutting a hand through the air as if
sentencing the matter to a close. His voice turned silky with the
menacing underlay of steel. "What I'm really interested in is why."
"I told you," Serena choked out, wiping her wet face with her hand
roughly. "Mina came to me—"
"You see," Darien cut in calmly. "That's not what I think. I think
you two are a pair of devious manipulators who came up with this
extraordinary coup to for the sole purpose of entertainment.
"So whose idea was it? Yours, no doubt. Nevermind, I don't really
care. All I know is that your little perfidy is over and it's time to
for Serena to take that bow she's been itching to have." He yanked his
dark jacket off the perfectly made bed and folded it over his arm.
Striding to the living room with quick, lithe movements, he paused just
before the door, turning back to her stricken face.
"But how long would you have kept it up? Would you have allowed me
to propose before bringing out Mina and slapping me in the face with
it?"
"No," Serena sobbed brokenly. "I was planning on telling you
today."
"Right," he drawled, smirking. He paused. "You know, I knew you
were different from Mina—but I didn't think it was for the worst. I
thought you were sweet and unaffected by everything Hollywood does to a
person. Mina may have her shallow moments, but at least she doesn't
hide it. She's open and honest." He looked at her with disgust. "You on
the other hand, are sneaky and devious—and everything she's not."
She kept her gaze on the carpet below her, tears slipping out of
the corners of her eyes. She missed the painfully poignant look he gave
her, just as she missed the look of utter despair that crossed his face
before he walked out the door, shutting it firmly behind him.
****
Serena stared blankly at the door for immeasurably amount of time,
wondering if this were all some horrible nightmare she would soon awake
from to find Darien's arms around her. Semi shocked to realize it was
real, she moved around the room woodenly, wondering what it was she
should do.
As she resigned herself to packing for the first plane that would
take her back to Campton, anger seeped in and eradicated most of the
absolute despair she felt. Remembering the pejorative words he had
flung at her and her sister, Serena's resolve hardened. There was no
way she'd let herself mourn the loss of a man whose supposed love
didn't stand the test of hardship. He hadn't even bothered to listen!
Not acknowledging the tiny seed of emptiness embedded within her,
she forced herself to cling on to the fury she felt. Wrath was better
than anguish—wrath fueled her to move; anguish compelled her to crumple
into a heap and cry.
****
One hour later, Serena was driving her rented car to the airport.
She had made arrangements for it to be delivered back to the rental
company soon after her departure. Apparently, the name Mina Kinsley
carried weight. She could have requested a police escort and a circus
waiting for her and the order would have no doubt been carried.
Driving at a speed she had reprimanded her sister for when they
were sixteen, Serena jerked into another lane, her hands clutching the
wheel so tightly, her knuckled were white. Impulsively, she turned off
into a street and headed around, making her way to the familiar road
toward Darien's home.
A guard was outside the ornate gates and she managed a bright,
nonchalant smile as she lifted her dark sunglasses up to her blonde
head.
"Hi," she said pleasantly, effectively diminishing the quavering
that her being emanated at the realization of what she was about to do.
"Is Mr. Eddington in?"
After blushing and asking for her autograph for his wife and kids,
the guard buzzed her in without so much as an afterthought. Apparently,
Darien hadn't gotten around to placing her name on the black list of
people who could absolutely not enter under no circumstances—right up
there with the paparazzi.
She strode in, head held high, without a second glance at her
lavish surroundings. Making her way through an expansive and
meticulously decorated entrance, complete with a butler and miniature
waterfall, Serena nodded her head to the elderly man in return for his
information concerning Darien's whereabouts in the large mansion.
Her low heels clicking on the marble floor, Serena made her way to
the study, holding on to her anger and depending on it to get her
through the next crucial moment. Swinging open the double doors, she
treaded in, flicking over the vast collection of books and settling her
gaze on the single man at a dark, wooden desk.
He looked up, his face registering his second of surprise before a
look of staid boredom covered any emotion. He had showered, his hair
still damp, and had changed into a dark silk shirt and pressed slacks.
Pulling off a pair of gold reading glasses that looking absurdly sexy
on him, he looked at her stoically, obviously waiting for her to begin.
She didn't disappoint him.
"Not only are you an utter hypocrite, you're also a heartless brute
who wouldn't be capable of loving if his life depended on it. Yes, I
lied to you. And I'm sorry—you won't believe just how sorry I am. But
you lied too, Darien. You told me you loved me, but obviously, you
didn't love me enough to let me explain." Her voice started with fiery
determination and faded away to a wounded tone she hated.
"I told you I loved you when I thought you were Mina."
It was meant to cut and it did. Serena recoiled as if she had been
slapped. And in that instant, she realized by just how much she was
hanging on to. She would lose him if this meeting didn't work. She
would lose him forever. And he would continue hating her.
"Don't do this to us," she whispered achingly. "Please, I'm begging
you. Don't do this to us." Her tone was pitiful and she knew she had
just placed her pride on the line—she was doing everything short of
begging on her knees.
He stared into her drenched eyes for a moment and for a moment,
Serena thought maybe—just maybe she had gotten through his impassive
demeanor. Then he spoke.
"I initially made the mistake of not informing the guards to not
let you in." He placed his glasses back on and bent his head over the
papers on his desk. He continued to speak drolly, not bothering to look
up at her expressive face. "I'll tell them to do so once you're
escorted out."
He was throwing her out.
She wanted to fling something caustic and harsh in his face. She
wanted to depart with words that would hurt him as much as he had hurt
just now. But it took all her energy just to calmly walk out of the
study and then exit the mansion. She drove back to the hotel serenely
and braked into her guest parking. Only when she mutely acknowledged
she had missed her flight, did she bite her tremulous lip and bend her
head over the wheel, her hands clutching it forcefully, crying openly.
She needed to go home. She didn't belong here—she never had. This
was Mina's place with Mina's life—and Darien loved Mina. The limelight
wasn't for her, it was made for her sister. And apparently, so was
Darien.
****
Darien Eddington knocked over an expensive double pencil holder
among other things on his desk in one deft movement, watching with no
satisfaction as they fell to the marble floor with a loud cacophony.
She had played him perfectly—every nuance, every kiss, every touch.
He had believed them to be sacred moments that he reveled in.
Instead they were all part of a wonderful ruse that he had been
inconceivably naïve about.
She was a better actress then he and Mina combined, he realized with
a twist of his mouth. She took the cake.
Not only had be thought of her as a dilettante to the entire world
of intimate relationships and Hollywood, he had been willing to pour
his heart out to a cold woman who could put Meryl Streep to shame. He
had been planning to marry her!
She was a virus—a parasite. One who got her kicks by humiliating
others. And the sooner he erased her from his mind and life, the
better. Because Serena Kinsley wasn't the type of woman you married—she
was the type you wanted and then discarded.
And the throbbing in his chest would soon pass, as would the empty
dejection his heart screamed. And time healed all wounds.
But even as he reassured himself with empty words, he had the
distinct impression that time couldn't heal him from one slip of woman
named Serena Kinsley.
****
"What is the matter with you?" Mina demanded of her sister a few
days later, hands on her slim hips, her newly acquired tan radiating.
"You've been a gloomy Gus since you came back."
"Just leave me alone, Mina." Serena sighed tiredly, picking lightly
at the pastel rose pattern on her throw pillow
"No," Mina insisted, snatching the cushion away, forcing her sister
to look at her. "What is your problem?"
"Nothing!" Serena bit out harsher than she had intended. Sighing,
she retracted her statement. "I'm sorry."
"I gave you a vacation, Serena. Be happy!"
Serena snorted. "Excuse me? I get stuck working eighteen hour days,
doing interviews about things I no clue about. You go to Tahiti and
meet your dream man. Who had a vacation?"
Mina sighed heavily. "I'm sorry about all that. But you had fun—you
had a little affair with Darien Eddington, didn't you?" Mina nudged her
sister suggestively, not noticing the stiffness that entered her body.
"We did not have an affair," Serena said shortly, looking away from
Mina to a painting on her wall.
"Sure," Mina drawled. "And all the photos everywhere are just making
it up, right? Darien told everyone that you and he were an item."
"You mean Darien and Mina." Serena corrected bitterly.
"Yes," Mina gave a sigh of a martyr. "And I'll be up to my ears
trying to sort through that mess."
"Sorry." She said tersely.
"It's quite all right," Mina rambled on gaily, not seeing the
moisture that filled up her sister's eyes. "The way I see it, you
should be thanking me for giving you a fabulous chance to loosen—"
It took them both by surprise when Serena abruptly shot up from the
couch, her expression furious as she glared down at her sister.
"Thanking you?" She spat out, her voice dripping with venom. "Thanking
you? Yes, well, let me thank you, Mina, for the big hole in my heart
for the past few days. Let me thank you for the fact that my life is
now in pieces. Let me thank you for the fact my heart is breaking!"
Serena stared into her sister's astonished face, her breathing
ragged from her emotional tirade. She closed her hot eyes and fell back
against the sofa, willing herself not to cry again.
"Serena?" Mina finally whispered, her voice shaky and hesitant.
"Tell me you're not—you didn't…"
Her answer was silence and it was good enough.
"Geez," Mina breathed. "Why didn't you tell me?" She shook her head,
thinking a loud. "All this time I've been raving about wedding plans
with Andrew, and you've—" she cut herself off and started a completely
new line of thought. "Well, we have to fix this."
Serena's head snapped up at her dogged tone. "No! Just-just stay out
of it, please, Mina?"
Mina looked down at her sister's haggard face and her own softened.
Smoothing Serena's brow as she had done for her when they were young,
Mina flipped the afghan over the couch and onto Serena's tired form.
"Go to sleep, Sere." Mina whispered, watching tenderly as Serena closed
her exhausted eyes. Kissing her forehead, Mina straightened and locked
her jaw in determination.
She had a bone to pick with certain Academy-Award nominated actor.
****
Mina drove straight from the airport to Darien's house in a rental
car that was presumably under her name. Slowing when she reached the
formidable gates that surrounded the lavish house, she rolled down her
window the converse with the guard.
The guard looked down at her somberly. "Sorry, Miss Kinsley, Mr.
Eddington has placed strict orders that you are not to be allowed in
here."
Mina flashed an effortlessly winning smile. She had expected as
much. "If you check the list again, I believe you'll see that Serena
Kinsley is not allowed—I'm Mina Kinsley." Still grinning sweetly to
cover her nervousness, she bit her lip while the guard double checked a
clipboard.
"You're right," the guard informed her. The stout man flashed her a
smile of his own. "I wanted to thank you again for signing them papers
for my children. It meant a lot to them."
Covering her initial confusion well, Mina simply laughed and replied
easily. "You're more than welcome."
Less than two minutes later she was walking the same path
unbeknownst to her, her sister had treaded not a week earlier. Pulling
open the doors that led to the study, she walked in, her chin jutted
out in obduracy.
"Well, well, well." Darien drawled, shoving back the sides of his
jacket to put his hands in his pant pockets. "To what do I owe this
pleasure?" He pretended to look confused, knowing full well which twin
was which. "Is it Mina? Or Serena?" He clicked his tongue. "You're both
so much alike."
Of course he knew it was Mina. This sister didn't make his blood
pressure rise with a smile nor did her laugh make him want to. This
sister's presence left him unmoved while Serena's compelled him to hold
her.
She fixed him with an icy glare that surprised him, considering he
was the one with the full right to be fuming, while she was the
reprehensible one. Or rather her sister. Maybe Mina hadn't even known
about what her sister was doing, maybe Mina had gone away for a quiet
vacation and Serena had seen it as the perfect opportunity to step in
and take the limelight.
But Mina's pugnacious words erased that theory from his mind. "I
came to Serena less than three weeks ago, begging her to take my place
for two weeks so that I could get a break from life. I hadn't spoken to
her in over eight years and still she dropped everything to for a favor
to me." She gave a laugh. "Because that is the kind of person she is."
Mina moved around the large room, running a finger along the spines
of leather bound books before spinning around to look at him with a
deadly calm about her. "Do you know that when we were kids, Serena was
always looking out for me?"
"However fascinating this is—" Darien began irritably, running a
hand through his dark hair.
"Shut up, Darien." Mina snapped quietly and Darien complied with a
frustrated roll of his blue eyes. "Even though we were twins, Serena
always seemed to be older by years—in everything. If you gave me three
years of your time, I couldn't to tell you everything she has done for
me.
"When we were fifteen, Serena covered for me while I cut school. She
ran around to all my classes; told the teachers some lame excuses and
even took a test I'd put off for weeks. When we were sixteen, I snuck
out of the house to go to a concert with my boyfriend and came home
drunk as a skunk. Serena made me drink loads of coffee and kept it from
our parents. At seventeen, my prom date stood me up and Serena told her
date to go on without her and stayed with me the entire night,
comforting me. And then when we were eighteen—," she broke off now,
tears forming in her crystalline eyes—"I went on a date with this awful
guy—tattoos everywhere and not an un-stoned day on his record. Serena
begged me not to go, but I didn't listen. Later that night, after
drinking more than his body weight, he tried to rape me. Serena came—to
this day I don't know how she knew I was in trouble—and broke his car
window with a crowbar and hauled me out of there."
Darien was looking at her with concealed interest, his mind coming
to form an idea to the point she was trying to make.
Mina looked up from her intertwined hands, tears sliding down her
pale face. "And then," she let out a choked laugh. "I leave her without
a word for eight years to build my career. I leave her to face the
aftershock of our mother's death alone and then deal with our father's
death shortly after. After which, I come to her door begging for my
sister and does she laugh and throw me out? No, she agrees to live my
horrible life, do my demanding job and not complain once! Because, like
I said, that's the kind of person she is."
At his disgusted snort of disbelief, Mina glared at him. She bit
out without a moment's hesitation. "Darien, when Serena switched places
with me, she and I both thought you were on vacation somewhere—we
thought it would be easier for Serena because you weren't around to
suspect anything. So, if she wanted to pull off some grand hoax to
screw with you, why would she do it on the two weeks you were
supposedly going to be in Bahamas?" She watched a stricken expression
replace his bored one with satisfaction.
She continued, ignoring his look of horror at his grave mistake.
"And the thing that gets me is that after all that, after all the
heartbreak I've caused her—after all the heartbreak you've caused her,
she still loves us." Mina came closer to Darien, searching his blank
eyes for an iota of emotion. "Serena is the most loyal, wonderful
person I have ever met. And for some reason, she loves you. Even after
all you've done to her—most of which she won't tell me—she still loves
you, Darien." His clenched jaw twitched imperceptibly at that bit of
information. "Serena can find someone better than you—I know that. Lord
knows she deserves someone better than you. But you'll never find
someone half as amazing as her."
With that, she spun her heel, prepared to leave now that she had
said her piece. Walking smartly across the floor, she had reached the
oak doors before his voice called out to her.
"Campton, right?"
Mina, with her back turned to him, let out a smile of relief. When
she rotated her head to glance back at him, her face was devoid of all
emotion. She gave a curt nod and left—flashing the ornery butler a
smile that lit up most silver screens in her jubilance.
She hoped to God it would work out. She prayed for it to. Serena
deserved it. And Mina also prayed for it somewhat selfishly. If Darien
did his part then Serena would be a very happy woman. A grateful, happy
woman. And Mina wanted—needed—to do something to repay her sister for
all the years of sisterhood Serena had given her.
****
Serena dumped her mail on her dining table, rubbing the back of her
neck tiredly. Sighing, she flopped down on the couch. The lab had been
a mess today. Melvin, her co-worker down at the lab had been sick and
then something experiment had gone all wrong—causing her to be forced
to leave work in the middle of the day. She had had to go back to work
immediately since the rest of the world thought the past two weeks had
been a vacation for Serena Kinsley.
A vacation, Serena thought with an ironic laugh. What a complete
joke.
Most days she couldn't decide whether to regret ever laying eyes on
Darien Eddington or relish the blissful moments they had spent
together. She was torn between the two.
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Perhaps the cliché was right, the poignant memories she shared with
Darien were something no one could take away and it was best to
remember him like the sensitive man that had kissed her and told her he
loved her rather than the angry one who had been revolted at the sight
of her. If nothing else, she had the delusion that Darien had, at one
time, loved her deeply.
She sighed heavily again, and turned on the television to keep her
mind from wandering that much traveled path that led to an inevitable
sobbing fest. She changed the channels idly and froze, wishing she had
gone straight to sleep in the afternoon instead.
There, in front of her eyes, was the commercial she had skillfully
avoided for the past week. But now, as it started, she was unable to
tear her eyes away from it or change the channel.
As the announced droned on, giving segments of the plot away but
nothing to reveal the true nature of the film, Serena stared transfixed
as the screen was split into two parts. One side was a picture of her
smiling, the other was of him grinning that disarming smile. Then clips
of the movie rolled while the movie's soundtrack played in the
background.
Jared offering Chloe a bit of his ice cream cone then shoving it
into her nose as she leaned in…a close up of her outraged face and his
laughing one…a shot of them slow dancing in an empty, dark room…a
picture of their first kiss on that same dance floor…the scene with the
rose in the garden where Jared ran the flower lightly over Chloe's
features…a clip of Chloe sobbing when she told Jared she couldn't be
with him…his dejected face…Chloe running away…and the final shot their
silhouettes against a sunset on the beach, Chloe's hair blowing in the
breeze, her arms wrapped around Jared as they leaned it…and then the
title of the film: Only You.
How painfully true that title turned out to be, Serena thought
bitterly, flicking off the television with an unsatisfying harsh jab.
Groaning at the seemingly multitude of hours she had to kill before she
would try to sleep, Serena rubbed her face, running through her
options.
Finally deciding, she grabbed the black jacket she had just
discarded and shrugged it on, flipping her loose hair over the collar.
Jogging down the apartment steps, she stepped out into the soon to be
dying daylight, enjoying the autumn smells that Campton emanated.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Chapin," she called to the elderly man
whittling on his porch. His response was a grunt and a half wave and
Serena took it with a fond smile. She had known the man since she was a
toddler. He had read to her and tucked her in and she and Mina had both
peed on him at one time or another.
She walked through the small town, smiling and waving at the
familiar faces, convincing herself it was wonderful to be home.
Reaching her destination, she entered the large bookstore with pride.
Campton was a tiny town, but they had one of the largest, most eclectic
bookstores in the state.
Unwittingly, making a bee-line for the science fiction section, she
waved to Margie, a clerk, and browsed through the new books that had
arrived while she had been away. It wasn't until she red the label
above the racks that she realized where her traitorous body had taken
her. Against her will, she remembered Darien's comment about his genre
of books at the current moment: science fiction. Shaking her head, she
took one especially fat novel off the eye level rack and immediately
froze.
On the other side of the large gap that the missing book had caused,
was a pair of silver blue eyes she had come to know very well—and tried
extremely hard to forget.
"Serena?" His deep voice came from across and she panicked. Dropping
book haphazardly on a nearby reading table, she sprinted out the
sliding doors, ignoring the stares as Darien called after her. "Serena,
wait!"
She ran all the way home, dimly recalling how she had told him of
the bookstore in her hometown while they were at the airport. But that
didn't explain why he was here. Her breathing ragged when she reached
the safe haven of her apartment, Serena got to wondering just how safe
it really was.
With the dawning realization that everybody in the tiny town knew
where she lived and it wouldn't take long for Darien to find her,
Serena ran to her bedroom and packed a bag, dumping contents in
blindly. Clicking the luggage shut, she hauled it off her floral
comforter and jogged to the door. Grabbing a set of keys and her purse,
she flung open the door and walked right into a hard body.
Stumbling a few steps back into the apartment, Serena looked up
dazedly into an achingly familiar face.
"Hello, Serena."
Blindly, she dropped her bag and prepared herself to bulldoze past
him if she had to. Walking quickly, she had just made it before he had
her in his arms, shutting the door behind him with his foot. Not
releasing his hold on her, he all but carried her to the living room,
surveying his surroundings with interest at how Serena—the real Serena—
lived.
Looking back down at the frightened woman in his arms, he smiled
briefly at her beautifully pale face. Staring at her now, he wondered
how he ever could have thought Serena was Mina. Their faces were as
different as their personalities. Serena's cheekbones were more
prominent, her lips fuller, her eyelashes thicker, her hair more
golden, her eyes a unique shade of crystalline blue.
Without realizing what he was doing, he bent his head and kissed
her, his lips showing his apology, imploring her to forgive him.
"No!" she wrenched her face away from him so that his lips brushed
her temple. She tried to struggle from his grasp and after some debate
he let her go.
"Serena," he began, loving her name, her face, her soul more than he
deemed possible.
"No!" She all but yelled, her lips quivering. "I don't want to hear
it. Just get out."
"I can't." He answered helplessly. She missed the look of despair
in his dark eyes.
"Then I will," she said succinctly, heading toward the door once
again. But Darien intercepted, catching her in his arms once again. It
was then she snapped, beating against his taut chest with her small
fists. "I begged you! I stood there and begged you! You heartless…" She
sobbed against him, mumbling incoherent things, some of which that
questioned his legitimacy as a child.
When it was over and the battering her hands produced had subsides,
she laid limp against him, crying into his neck with a despondency that
tore at him. "I'm sorry," he rasped out, rubbing her back gently,
soothing her wracking sobs with a helplessness that he hated. "I'm so
sorry."
"Fine." She said dully, pulling away from him. "You apologized. I
accept. Now please leave."
Darien gazed at her sparkling eyes and watched as a tear clung to
her eyelashes then dripped down her porcelain cheek. He had hurt her
beyond belief. She had apologized profusely, but he hadn't wanted to
listen. After being the aim of his spiteful comments, she had come back
for more, come back for to salve their relationship. And not only had
he watched her coldly as she begged and sobbed, he had thrown her out
with humiliatingly finality. And now he recalled her astonished
behavior when he had told her he loved her that last night. She hadn't
wanted him to say it—to protect him. She hadn't wanted him to get hurt.
And this was how he repayed her.
"I love you," he said raggedly, his face as white as a sheet, his
eyes dark with pain at her hurting.
Serena closed her eyes, anguish ripping through her. "No, you love
Mina. Remember? You said so that—that day." She was fighting for
control—and losing.
Darien winced at the recollection of that particularly cruel
statement he himself had driven into her. "No," he said gently, his
tone firm. "I love you. And as for the things I accused you of—I'm
sorry, Serena. I'm so sorry." He closed his eyes in self-disgust.
"I already said I accepted. Now will you leave?" Serena pleaded,
reaching the end of her tether.
"No," it was unambiguous as he held her smaller hands in his,
bending his head slightly so she forced to look at him through shining
eyes. "You said you loved me that morning and I know you meant it. So—"
he took a shuddering breath and Serena saw a vulnerability in his eyes
she had never been held privy to before. "Do you love me, Serena?"
Serena felt an acute sense of de ja vu as she remembered that last
night they had spent together. Where he had admitted his love for her.
No, for Mina. She wanted to lie to him again like she had that night
and tell him he meant nothing to her. But they both knew that was not
true.
It was his eyes, Serena realized with a heady feeling. That night he
had looked into her eyes and seen the truth and if she looked up now,
he'd see it again.
"I really don't see how it matters," Serena whispered, staring down
at her sneakered feet. "You love Mina."
Darien let out a growl and pulled her to him, his arms strong but
curiously gentle. "I love the woman who completed Only You with me. I
love the woman who made me throw popcorn at people. I love the woman
who dragged me into an art museum and confessed she was afraid of
something. I love the woman who doesn't realize it, but is afraid of
losing people. You are afraid, Serena. You're afraid that since you
lost your parents, and temporarily lost Mina, you'll lose everything."
He braced his hands on her cheeks, wiping the tears away. "And then I
left you." He shook his head in self-loathing. "But I'm here—and I'm
not going anywhere."
It was quiet for a full, pregnant minute until Serena's head came
up from her study of the carpet. "I'm sorry," her voice was barely
audible.
Darien was taken back. "For what?"
"For lying to you," she sniffled. "I-I didn't want to—" she cut
herself off. "I'm sorry."
"I'm not." He replied shortly. "If Mina hadn't asked you to switch
places with her, I would have never met you. And I can't imagine my
life without you."
She sniffed again and brought her tear-stained face up to his view.
She was shocked to see his own beautiful eyes grow misty. Her lips
trembled uncertainly as she spoke her next words with a firm ardor, "I
love you, Darien Eddington."
He was perfectly still for a moment, his body taut. And then he
crushed her to him, rocking back and forth in a comforting pattern.
"And I love you, Serena Kinsley."
With that, she promptly burst into tears. He stopped rocking
alarmed at her tears. "What happened?" He asked, alarmed. Pulling back
to look at her face awash with tears, he searched her eyes for a clue.
"Nothing," she said happily, her smile watery. "I just always
wondered how it would sound when you said that with my name."
Laughing lightly, he pulled her closer to him. "You'll get sick of
it once I start saying it thirty times a day."
"Never," she promised fiercely, her hold on him growing tighter as
he bent his head down to kiss her. Her. Serena Kinsley.