Can You Still Feel the Butterflies?

Pacey sat back on his sofa completely astonished, as he hung up the phone. Joey Potter was coming to Huntington Beach—Pacey's current home. Unbelievable. Yes, it was something he had dreamed about and hoped for, but never imagined within the realm of possibilities. To be honest, he couldn't really picture Joey living actually in California, but…who knows?

A smile touched his lips as he enjoyed the idea of seeing Miss Joey Potter. Her wit alone sparked a longing to see her again, something he hadn't enjoyed in quite some time. Her eyes, her hair—he could remember it all, although two years had passed since they had last seen each other. He recalled his Capeside days with affection and regretted the day he left for California without her. She had gone to study in New York, but they had left their separate ways on good terms. He had been happy for her to go on her own and fulfill her dreams. But, after Joey left Capeside, he had wanted out. There was no way was he going to stay there by himself. Huntington Beach had seemed perfect for him. It was far from home, and besides, he had always loved the water, and surfing seemed like a great distraction for him, which he has since learned to love. He met some random guys to room with, who have become his best friends, and pretty much spent all of his time surfing or working.

Quickly shaking off these distracting thoughts, he jumped off the couch and ran into his room, looking for something decent to wear. Joey had just called to let him know her plane was coming in from Denver to John Wayne Airport in an hour, which meant Pacey had to leave fairly soon. He couldn't stand to wait very long to see her, so he figured waiting at the airport was as good as anywhere else. He rummaged through his closet and found a random t-shirt and some jeans to wear. He knew how excited he was to see her, but he didn't want to appear too eager in front of her, so he decided the casual look was better suited for him; although there wasn't a whole lot of difference between casual and formal when it came to Pacey's wardrobe.

He grabbed the keys to his Jeep and passed Tyler, who happened to be carrying a box of Papa John's Pizza, on his way out of the apartment.

 "What's up, Pace?"

"I'm on my way to pick up an old friend at the airport. What's going on?"

"Not much, dude. Who's at the airport?"

"She's an old friend from Massachusetts."

"She? Nice. You want some pizza before you head out? It's good, dude."

"Yeah, I better help you eat that."  

Pacey followed Tyler into the apartment and grabbed a couple slices of pizza.

"So, how long is your friend visiting?"

"I don't know. She just called me up out of the blue, said she was flying into town and needed a ride from the airport. Hopefully she's coming to stay…but I doubt it."

"She didn't tell you why she's coming?"

"No idea. But if she doesn't have a place to stay, she's going to stay with us. Is that cool with you?"

"Is she cute?"

"She's hot. You don't even know."

"She can stay with me."

"Not quite, buddy. She's not like the girls you hook up with."

"Seriously, Pace, are you gonna hook up with this girl?"

Pacey laughed heartily at his friend's attempt to be serious. "Give it up, Tyler."

"What's her name again?"

 "Joey Potter."

Tyler smiled knowingly at Pacey. "I knew it, dude. How long have you talked about that girl? Since I met you, at least. What about Anna? Don't worry, I'll help you out with her."

"I don't even know about Anna. I'll worry about her later. See ya." Pacey finished off his last piece and headed for the door. Tyler sat silently smirking at the thought of Pacey finally hooking it up with this Joey girl.

With the top of his Jeep taken off, Pacey felt like he was flying on the road, as the wind enveloped him. He was closing in on the airport and the excitement continued to build as he prepared himself to see her again. He pulled into a short-term parking spot and jumped out of his Jeep. He walked briskly into the airport and searched the monitors for Joey's flight from Denver. He sat contentedly in one of those uncomfortable airport seats across from a big, hairy man talking on a cell phone. Pacey waited patiently at the gate for Joey to arrive, still basking in the glow of her trip to see him. He honestly didn't even know if she was coming to see him or what she was doing. But he didn't really care either way. He was just happy she was coming at all.  

The arrival of flight 5887 arrived and Pacey practically jumped from his seat and walked to the gate exit, intently watching for the first signs of Joey Potter. His hands fidgeted nervously as he held her flight information in his hands. He noticed his hands trembling, but couldn't get them to stop. He waited impatiently as every girl with brown hair that walked through the gate seemed to have Joey's face. He felt like a five-year-old waiting impatiently for a long-awaited piece of candy.

On his first glimpse of her, he couldn't help but be taken aback at how amazing she looked. He had almost forgotten how beautiful she was in person. She had grown her hair long and left it straight, with slight highlights through her soft, brown hair. Pacey drank in the view of Joey wearing a knee length suede skirt, showing those toned calves, with a fitting white t-shirt, as she searched for him in the never-ending crowd. He could see a golden tint on her skin that complemented her perfectly. He shook his head in disbelief. She was actually here.

Joey anxiously searched for Pacey's face. She was still reeling from her impulsive decision to come It was so unlike her, and she loved every second of it. She knew Pacey would appreciate her impulsiveness and she couldn't wait to see him again. A familiar face out of the corner of her right eye caught her attention and her eyes skimmed that general area of the airport. At first glance, she didn't even recognize who had caught her eye. She had to take a second look to realize it was Pacey. She beamed as she saw him approaching.

Pacey ran up to Joey and picked her off her feet with a giant hug. Joey was a little surprised at such a warm welcome, but she easily returned his strong embrace. Quite unwillingly, Pacey set her down. Her grin lit his heart and he laughed at what a random meeting between old friends was taking place.

"Pacey, thanks for picking me up. You look hot, Pace. I hardly even recognized you with your muscles and dark tan."

"You look amazing, Jo. I can't believe you're even here."

"Yeah, well, I always was the rash and impulsive one, so it shouldn't be too surprising." Joey laughed conscientiously. She believed Pacey must be waiting for her to clarify her being there, but for some reason, she didn't really feel like explaining.

"If there is one thing I remember about you, it was definitely the rash side." Pacey smiled, sensing her sudden uneasiness.

"How are you? What have you been doing all this time?"

"Geez, when's the last time I even talked to you? A year ago? Since then, all I've done is surf. I tried to go back to school, but it was getting in the way of everything else, pretty much. Typical Pacey Witter. Now, the real and more interesting question is, what have you been doing?"

"Let's get out of here. Do you want to get a drink or something? Wait, no, can you take me to the beach? That would be perfect."

"Yeah, let's go. Is this your only bag?"

"No, I checked two more."

They headed for baggage claim and found Joey's bags instantly. He quickly picked up her bags and showed her the way to his Jeep. The entire time, Joey tried to sound easy comfortable by making small talk with Pacey, avoiding any questions or references to her past or her future. She didn't know what possessed her to be so evasive. The airport just didn't seem like the greatest place to have a stirring conversation with Pacey.  He packed her things inside the back seat of his Jeep and took off on 73 North, back to Huntington Beach.

For the first time ever, he was pissed at himself for buying a Jeep. He kept trying to make conversation with her, but with the fierce wind at their ears, it was impossible to carry a conversation. Pacey couldn't help but at glance at Joey every so often. His shock wouldn't subside as he looked at her. She sat quietly, watching the scenery, never looking away from or towards Pacey. Honestly, Pacey didn't know what to think of her, and yet he didn't really care why she came or what was up. Her mere presence was enough to secure his happiness.

Pacey yelled over the ringing of the wind, "Do you want to go to my apartment first, or straight to the beach?"

"To the beach," Joey replied without hesitation. She felt like seeing the ocean instantly, being alone with Pacey, and letting go of everything, to be here. Her heart ached slightly as she realized what she had given up on a whim. Questions filled her mind, but she waved off any feelings of regret and turned Pacey's stereo up. She wanted her thoughts drowned out with music.   

After driving awhile, they finally reached the beach. It was pretty much empty, except a few random people here and there. Joey quickly jumped out of the Jeep and ran for the beach. She ripped off her shoes and headed straight for the waves of crashing water. Pacey laughed at her enthusiasm. He slowly climbed out of the Jeep and watched her run for a minute before he chased after her. His feelings of being near her were indescribable.

He eagerly chased Joey and found her up to her mid-calves in water. She glanced at him and laughed out loud. "I guess I got a little excited. This is amazing here, Pace. I wish I had known how beautiful it was. I would've come here sooner."

"Was New York so bad?"

 "This is perfect. The sun setting, the water crashing at our feet; it's captivating."

"When did you get so sentimental, Potter?"

"Ha, ha. Seriously, my entire situation: flying across the country to a place I've never even been, finding myself at the ocean, with you…it's so…not me."

"Is that good?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, Joe, that's the last thing I thought I'd hear you say. I mean, it's good to have you here and everything, but New York is where your dreams and your future have always been…what happened?"

"Nothing particularly important or worth talking about."

Pacey stood silently as Joey walked away from him, farther down the shore. He wanted to hear more, and was afraid of speaking in case she was about to explain.

"You coming, Pace?"

"Yeah, I'm coming." Pacey leisurely strolled over to Joey, who had found a spot to sit in the warm sand.

"I should probably explain my being here, but frankly, its not a very interesting story. I simply got tired. I spent every waking minute studying, cramming...I sat idly by as my roommates went out every night and played. But it was my fault. I was never willing to give up my studies to go out. I was so afraid my grades would drop and I would lose my scholarship, that I cooped myself in my dorm room and studied my brains out…so, yeah I got good grades, but what else did I have to show for it. Nothing. I had no stories, no memories." Joey paused and glanced at Pacey. She shook her head and smiled at the look on his face. "I know. Poor little college girl. I get college paid for and I don't even appreciate it."

"Trust me, I am the last person to judge you--for many, many reasons—so, don't worry about me."

"I know. It's me that's being judgmental. Sometimes I wonder why I left, and sometimes I wonder why I didn't leave sooner—and I just got here."

"I hope you don't regret leaving. Although I'm biased here, coming here was the best decision you've made." He smiled trying to get a smile out of Joey, but with little luck. "I think if leaving New York and coming here is what is right for you, then that's it. It's right and you're here. But, why here of all places?"

"I didn't want to quit school and stay in New York. It was too confining. I know it too well, and it's so close to Capeside and everything that I want to forget. For awhile anyway."

"Aren't I part of forgetting yourself? I'm a part of that past you want to overlook."

"You? Hardly, Pace. You're the only one who saw beyond Capeside-Joey. You're the one person in my life that challenged me to reach beyond my state of comfort and security. I came here to live the life you have. You come and go as you please, not accountable for anyone or anything. You live your life without regrets…and I desperately need that freedom."

"You see a lot more to my life than there really is."

"I hope not."

They sat there for quite a time, with that space between them, looking up at the moon-drenched sky, hearing the faintest whisper as the water touched the shore. The longer they sat there, the bigger the sky seemed. Joey let her mind wander to Pacey. After a long while she stole another sidewise look at Pacey. His eyes were closed, and when she thought that he wasn't looking up into that expanding sky, too, she suddenly felt alone. But when he opened his eyes and again was looking up into the sky, an understanding came to her. She appreciated Pacey--his ability to accept her and listen without judgment—he was a true friend. She watched him stare at the sky and was content with her life for a time.