"Jo, folding is a waste of time. Trust me.
Everything gets wrinkled and dirty anyway. Don't waste your time."
"No,
Dirtiness, it's a perfectly sane and important thing to do. And, I would advise
you to pick up the habit before my stuff starts smelling like you."
Pacey
stared at her seriously and retorted, "I happen to have a very manly smell that
women find adorable."
"Yeah,
well, I'm picking up your 'manly smell' and men don't find that particularly
adorable on me."
"Men, what
men? Except me, and I find it—"
"Yeah,
yeah, yeah."
Joey
waited while Pacey finished overfilling the dryer full of clothes. When he was finished, she picked up her
basket of clothes, but Pacey didn't move a muscle. He just stood there watching
her, almost expectantly.
"What? Come
on, this basket is getting heavier by the minute."
Pacey
continued to stand there, silently. Yet, she could see his hands fidgeting
nervously, and she was reminded of the day he came to pick her up at the
airport. Joey let out a small laugh and said, "Hello?" Pacey walked over to her
and picked up her basket of folded clothes and placed them on a washer next to
them.
"Let's
talk for a minute."
Joey's
eyes widened with confusion, "You want to have a heart-to-heart in the
Laundromat?"
Pacey looked
around the room, and then shrugged his shoulders. "We're alone, aren't we?"
Joey
replied, still confused, "Well, sure…"
His face
turned a little more solemn, choosing his words carefully. He looked down at
his writhing hands, and quickly dropped them to his side. "Jo…"
Readily
awaiting and explanation, Joey quickly inserted, "Yeah?"
"How do
you feel about where we are right now?"
Joey still
completely confused, replied, "Well, I like it here, if that's what you mean.
Yeah, our apartment is kind of small, but it's all we can—
Pacey
looked down again, this time his hands completely still. "No, I mean us,
where we are. Our relationship."
"Oh,"
realization hitting Joey. "Uh…yeah. I mean, you and me—it's like the old
Capeside-days between us. You know, besides the kissing and the sex and the
drama…
Without
looking up, Pacey sighed, "Yeah, that's true…but, are you content with…this?"
Joey
easily shrugged her shoulders, "Yeah. We get along so well right now, and we're
closer than we've been in a long time, so, I'm pretty content. Why? Are you
not?"
Pacey looked up to meet Joey's eyes and gave
her a half smile. "No." Joey's face contorted with puzzlement, and Pacey
quickly explained himself. "I don't want to be just friends, Jo. I want more
than that."
Joey slowly
released a deep breath she had been holding in as Pacey spoke. She anxiously
bit her lower lip, but kept her gaze in line with his. "Oh Pacey…are you
serious about this? Because I don't know—
His smile dropped as he simply replied, "I'm
serious."
She closed her eyes and nervously rubbed her
forehead. "I'm sorry, Pace, but I don't…I don't think I can right now." She
quickly followed with, "But please don't let this come between us. Our
friendship is everything, and—
Pacey slowly backed away from her. He kept on
peering into her face, really looking at it for the first time, after all the
years, for the close, true look at a thing can only be one snatched outside of
time and questions. He spoke slowly, "It's okay, Jo. I understand." Without
letting her finish, he walked out of the Laundromat, and back to the apartment.
Joey followed quietly behind Pacey back to apartment, carrying her load of
folded laundry. An awkward silence built a wall, not allowing a word to pass
between them. Joey was about to break the silence when Pacey stopped short
right in front of her. She followed his gaze to an unfamiliar car parked in
front of the apartment.
"You okay,
Pace?"
Pacey
stood silently only a moment longer before he turned to Joey and grabbed her
basket of laundry from her. He continued walking to the apartment, his eyes never
leaving the parked Jetta.
"Thanks. Um,
what's going on? Is that someone you know?"
Pacey
continued to stare mindlessly at the vehicle, without giving Joey the slightest
acknowledgement. Joey was a dismayed at his inability to speak at all.
They
entered the apartment finding a visitor sitting on the sofa. She was a
beautiful girl with long brown hair and clear blue eyes. She smiled upon their entering and
whispered, "Hello," before Tyler cut into the introductions.
"Joey, I
don't believe you've met Anna. Pace, you remember Anna don't you?"
Joey
smiled warmly at Anna, although she was amazed to see her here. Pacey had said
that he and Anna had fizzled out and he hadn't talked to her in weeks.
"Pacey, it's good to see you again. Tyler was entertaining me
until you got here."
"Good," Pacey murmured.
"Can
we talk for a minute?"
Pacey
paused for a moment, considering his options, and then said, "Yeah, okay." She
followed him back to his room, leaving Joey gaping mindlessly at Tyler. After
Joey was assured that Pacey's bedroom door was closed, she sat on the couch
next to Tyler.
"Okay something is not right here."
"What are
you talking about? Anna looks good. If Pacey has any sense, he'll do whatever
she came here for."
"Okay, but
the problem is—the problem is that she just shows up out of the blue—today?
Why?"
"She probably
wants to bet back together."
"Oh, geez.
This is not good."
"Why? And
why are you freaking out over this? What's the big deal?"
Frustrated,
but not want to tell Tyler about what happened in the Laundromat, Joey just
sighed and sat silently.
"Jo…what's
up?"
Joey shook
her head, and faked a smile. "Nothing's up. It's just weird, that's all."
"Right."
Joey stood
and paced in the kitchen awhile, unseen by Tyler's curious eyes. She stopped
suddenly and walked into the living room, curiosity taking over, "Hey, why did
Pacey and Ana stop dating anyway?"
"I don't
know. But as soon as you got here, every other girl was out of the picture for
Pacey. I know that."
She looked
away from Tyler. She was nervous, but she couldn't explain if it was because of
Anna or because of Pacey. Or both. If she really wanted nothing from Pacey but friendship,
what was the big deal of Anna and Pacey getting back together?
"It'll be
okay, Jo. You don't have to worry."
"Ha, ha, Ty.
I'm not worried. I'm fine." She immediately stood and walked to the kitchen.
"You want anything to drink?"
"No thanks."
What was
taking so long? Joey had conflicting feelings of wanting to talk to Pacey, without
crossing a line. He was probably still angry with her and she wanted to quickly
clear things up. Yes, she thought, that is why I'm stressed. The only reason I'm
stressed. But, her heart wasn't in that explanation, and she knew it. After she
filled a glass full of water, she walked back into the living room, and sat restlessly
next to Tyler. She tried to get into the TV show he was watching, but her mind
kept drifting back to Pacey. She was going to drive herself crazy.
Finally,
Anna appeared before Tyler and Joey. "See you later," were her only words
before opening the door and leaving. When the door shut, Joey waited in
anticipation for Pacey to appear. She wrestled with the idea of going back to
see him, or wait for him to come out. She waited only a minute longer before
walking through the hall, back to his room.
Joey found
Pacey sitting on his bed, staring blindly at the floor.
"Pace, you
okay?"
"Yeah, I'm
fine." He listlessly watched her approach.
Sitting next
to Pacey, she gave him an unconvincing smile, but he was unaware of anything
she did. "So, Pace...can we talk about what happened at the Laundromat?"
"Not now, Jo."
"Please,
Pacey…"
"Jo, I've
got too much on my mind to talk about that."
"Okay…um, not to pry, but how'd it go with
Anna?"
There was a
lengthy pause before Pacey realized she had asked him a question. Pacey glanced
at her with apathy, as he shook himself out of his trance, "Fine."
Joey closed
her eyes in discontent. "Oh, Pacey…"
Out of the
blue, Pacey decided to expound, "Apparently she wants to start dating again…she
said she misses me. The girl is…"
"That girl has impeccable timing…"
"I was
shocked. We were never that serious. We would hang out sometimes, but it was
purely platonic. I didn't even think she was that into it."
Joey sat still, taking on every heartbreaking
word and letting it sink to the bottom of her stomach. He just kept talking and
talking, and she knew why he was doing it.
"And so I
told her that we should start dating again, and see where it leads." Pacey
laughed unconsciously. His surprise was written clearly on his face.
Joey's
heart sank. "So, you just decided like that? With our conversation not five
minutes earlier."
Pacey looked
into Joey's eyes, hard. "Yeah, Jo, I just decided like that. I think I got the
gist of our conversation, so I didn't worry about you or how you might feel
about my decision. Why you're surprised is what's amazing."
She couldn't help feeling disappointed,
however self-interested that might be. She wanted to be patient, not angry with
him. She didn't feel she earned the right. "Wow, Pace. That's great for you…do
you think things will work out better this time?" Joey asked, apprehensively.
"I guess
we'll see."
"I guess
so…" Joey stood quietly in the doorway still recovering from Pacey's unwelcome news.
She scolded herself for being so selfishly annoyed. "Do you want to go for a
drink or a swim or something? We don't have to talk about anything, we can
just--"
"No, you go." Pacey never gave Joey another look, as he
quickly fell back into a state of confusion.
Joey took the too
obvious hint for her to leave. She supposed Pacey needed time to think, but she
really wanted to be with him for a while. She slowly backed out of the room,
hoping he would stop her, but instead, walked back through the hallway and
picked her keys up off the kitchen table. Before walking out the door, she
mindlessly asked Tyler if he wanted to come with her.
"Where are
you going?"
"Out. I'm
not really sure where, but I want to get out of here."
Tyler didn't
hesitate, "Let's go."
He followed
Joey out of the apartment to her little ghetto bug. She unlocked the door for
Tyler and climbed inside the driver's seat. Tyler watched Joey as she started
the car and drove out of the parking lot.
"Jo, you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm
fine."
"Come on
now, Jo. We're good enough friends that you can tell me what's going on." Tyler
teased her with his bright eyes, and she begrudgingly explained herself.
"This whole
Pacey/Anna thing is weird for me. I honestly am not trying to be a brat, but I
don't really think now is the time for them to start dating again."
"Geez, Jo."
Tyler laughed, while considerably not amused. "Why not? I thought you and Pacey
were friends. Why wouldn't you want him to be with Anna? Unless…"
"Unless nothing.
I just don't think—"
"Hey, I
happen to know that Pacey has been trying to get with since the day you moved
here, and you have been giving him The Shaft, so your opinion on this doesn't
exactly carry a lot of weight."
Joey rolled
her eyes and continued to drive in silence.
"I knew I couldn't
talk to you about this."
Tyler
couldn't keep himself from laughing. "Right, Jo. It's me--I'm the problem.
Either you want to be with Pacey or you don't. But you shouldn't stop him from
dating Anna, when you already made it perfectly clear you don't want to be with
him."
"When was
that, Tyler? Were you listening at the door when I made this declaration? I'm
sure you had nothing better to do than--"
"Joey, you
might want to stop before you make a fool of yourself." Tyler smiles all 'take-it-like-a-man.'
"It's obvious. The way you act around each other and how you treat him. You don't
have to say it Jo, it's clear to everyone except Pacey. No eavesdropping
required."
Joey
glanced at him with contempt. "Thank you all-knowing wizard of Oz. I do so need
you to remind me of every little thing I say or do."
"I'm going
to be honest with you, Jo. I have told the guy to move on; that he's wasting
his time. I don't want to see him pine away for you."
"That's
fine. Wow, you're really good at this whole heart-to-heart thing. You should
really try it more often. " Yet, after a beat she replied, defensively, "Besides,
I really didn't want anything like that with him, so good…I'm happy with
whatever he wants."
"How is
it?"
"How is
what?"
Tyler had a sly smile on his face as he
replied. "Living your life in denial? It must be blissful to deny any real
feelings you might have for another person, excluding myself, of course."
Joey glared at him, "Without exception."
Joey pulled into the parking lot of a small
community park. She intentionally slammed the car door without saying a word to
Tyler, and headed straight for a nearby duck pond. Tyler slowly followed her,
taking his time to get out of the car and walk over to her, smiling to himself
all the way. He knew he was right, and Joey knew it, too. He stood next to her,
but said nothing. He enjoyed the cool breeze on his face as he watched the
children playing Frisbee, from across the pond.
"You still
mad at me, Jo?"
Joey eyed
him solemnly, but let the anger slowly pass away. "No, just infuriated by you.
I'm sorry, but you have no idea how extremely irritating it is when the things
you say are reasonable. You have this Mister Miagi thing going on right now,
and I really hate it."
"Thank
you."
Joey
laughed knowingly at herself. "Sometimes, I wonder about you. I come off like a
twelve-year-old, and you sound well-versed…it scares me when you do that."
"Because it
makes you want me?"
Joey's eyes
drifted away from him towards the pond as she seriously contemplated her
answer. Her eyes met his. "Because it makes me humble…"
Tyler, a
little unnerved by how serious the conversation had become, replies
nonchalantly. "I'm not trying to make you feel stupid, Jo. I just want you to
see both sides of this situation. It's not really fair for Pacey to hold off on
Anna on the slightest chance that you might change your mind about
him. Besides, this whole hard-to-get thing you're playing with me is
translucent to everyone, including Pacey…I wasn't going to say anything, but--"
"What?
Okay, let's reverse back to the serious Tyler for one moment and skip your last
incoherent sentence that I am simply going to ignore. I realize I'm a retard,
so that has been sufficiently established, but there is something about you
which seems equally important to discuss."
"Like
what?"
"Are you
ready to delve into the person that is Tyler?" Joey continued to watch Tyler,
trying to provoke him with her words. "Just for a random example of what I
mean, there's the issue of why you only date superficial women. I mean, it only
seems fair since we are analyzing my neurosis, that we should take a crack at
yours."
"I don't
know what you're talking about." Tyler began to stroll around the pond,
avoiding Joey in all regards.
"How
convenient for you."
"I'm
serious."
"So am I."
Joey smiled, knowing she had hit a nerve somewhere, and wanting to run with it.
" What about…say…your failure to commit to any real girl—I mean real as
in someone whose reading level goes beyond the third-grade. I see the girls you
bring over and there's a new one every night. They all look the same, with
their big jugs and big hair."
"Quite the
articulate description you gave there, Jo. However, I'm surprised at your
analysis. I didn't realize what an interest you had taken with my sex life. If
you think about it, this actually only reveals more about you than me. Your—
"You're
changing the subject—
"--obsession with who I date and when I date them. Whenever you're ready
to admit you're true feelings for me, I'll still be waiting…patiently."
Frustrated,
Joey started to walk away, but instantly changed her mind, realizing his
intent, and decided to continue. "Oh, if only I could, Tyler. Yet, your
avoidance of this whole commitment issue is what I'm more interested in. So,
explain away…"
"There's
nothing to explain. I like pretty girls, but when they open their mouths,
everything goes south. So, I don't like to be with the same chick for very
long. Simple as that."
"Then
you're not dating the right girls…but really, Ty, you know that's just an excuse.
You like surface relationships. Then no one can really get to know you and you
remain in a happy little place called self-denial. Hmm…sounds familiar. How is
it?"
Tyler
confronts her with the most somber face he can muster. Her grin widens as he
replies with, "This topic is seriously getting tired. You think you understand
a complex and sophisticated mind like mine, but you never will." Tyler began
walking away from the pond, towards an old swing-set. Joey follows quietly
behind. As they reach the swings, she avoids his eyes, but makes a quiet
response, the grin still tugging at her mouth. "You're being a little dramatic.
I'm just trying to understand you, the way you seem to understand me."
"I'm just
warning you now--it's impossible."
Joey sits
in a low swing and gently pushes the ground with her feet, as Tyler makes his
way to the swing next to her, but instead moves behind her and pushes her into
the air. After some time, Joey innocently asks, "Do you think we're screwed up,
Tyler? Be honest—and serious--for once."
"Me? I 'm
not screwed up, you on the other hand…honestly, though, I just think we both
have issues we aren't willing to face up to. Denial is what sets us apart from
the rest."
Joey's
hair blows furiously across her face, as Tyler pushes her higher in the air.
She notices how gentle his touch is as he tenderly pushes her forward. She
slows herself down somewhat with her feet, in order to talk to Tyler with more
ease.
"Can you
sit next to me, please?"
Tyler sits in the swing next to Joey,
eyeing her curiously. She gazes at him admiringly--his gentle, caring eyes lull
her into a state of gratitude. He watches her eyes, unsure of what she wants to
say, but he can see something that wasn't there before. Is it…?
"What's
up, Potter?"
"Thank
you. That's all. Just thank you…I know I'm crazy at times and…I appreciate you
listening to me and being honest…you're a good friend, Ty."
"That's
beautiful, Jo."
"Hey, I'm being
serious."
"Sorry."
His eyes smiled at her. "Thanks. You're the type of girl that one can always
enjoy a little denial with. I'm serious Jo, our talks scare me because I
realize that you can see beyond my good-looking exterior. Something of which
few girls are allowed to see with permission. You and me…we could go along way
together. Can I tell you something? It's genuine, I promise."
Tyler
reached over and stopped Joey's swing. She could see a sudden seriousness touch
his face as he stood and walked directly in front of her swing. He reached out
his hand and she took it, causing a feeling of surprise to reach her face.
Tyler ignored any signs of alarm, concentrating on the task at hand. They stood
face to face as he flashed his always-charming smile at her, and then touched
her cheek with the tips of his fingers. A small laugh escaped Joey's lips. Her
breath quickened out of sheer nervousness…she wasn't sure what was going to
happen, but her stomach was churning.
"Ty?"
"Yeah?"
Tyler
leaned in before Joey could respond, and kissed her lightly on her lips. The
softness of his lips was insatiable. She craved this kiss, while concurrently
knowing she couldn't do this--for so many reasons…almost instantly she pulled
herself back into reality, scolding herself for not stopping this sooner.
"Tyler…um…" Joey took a few steps backwards, tripping over the swing,
and falling flat on her back.
"Perfect," was Joey's only response to the awkwardness she could feel
permeating between them. Tyler walked past the swing and helped Joey to her
feet. He made no attempt to clear up
their current distressing situation. He was simply waiting for her to shed some
light on what just happened. She brushed the dirt off her, and looked up at
him, laughing as she did so. Her laugh was cut short by the expression on his
face.
"Ty, I'm
sorry." Although Tyler was only considered a friend, her heart dropped as she
began to speak again."…I just don't think me and you kissing is the solution…to
anything."
"I wasn't
trying to solve anything."
Joey
rubbed her forehead and gave Tyler a half smile. "I don't know what to say,
except that…let's not make this any more complicated than it already is."
Tyler searched her eyes imploringly. She
was racked with guilt as she watched him turn away from her and walk to the
car. She tried to catch up with him, but his stride was too long.
"Ty, wait
up. I'm sorry. It's just that—"
"It's just
nothing, Jo."
They
reached the car at the same time. She walked to the passenger's side, forcing
him to look at her. He looked into her eyes calmly, his expression never
changing, making it impossible for her to read his emotions. Again, she tried
to smile at him, but he just stared at her blankly.
"Ty,
listen…"
"I think
we've both said enough."
