This is my first fanfic, so be gentle and all that. If you don't like Zero Wing, just replace those lines with other, random nonsense.
-Kenyai
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Chapter 1: The Demotion
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Corporal Tark Floyd tapped the control panel out of boredom. The last time anything exciting had happened was on April Fool's day... That thought brought a chuckle out of Floyd. Life was interesting back then, before he was transferred. He actually had friends then.
Life hadn't been easy for him then, either, but it was better then than it was now. He never had gotten a good education, so he joined the military. That's all he could do with his life. He wasn't exactly attractive, and his personality was a dull one, so he didn't have much luck with love. He had female friends, but they were all platonic. And they were also on some backwater planet. All of his friends were. And here he was, stuck in one of the most boring positions on a battlecruiser. What was its name? Oh yes, it was called the "Mogg Sentry". Odd name, for a ship.
Floyd looked over at his so-called assistant, Jeff Garb. The only time he did anything useful was when he needed to look good. He was due for a promotion, and Floyd bet Garb was going to take his place, and soon.
A cheesy explosion sound effect played over the intercom.
"What happen?" Floyd asked, his poor grammar skills, and lack of education, were as evident as ever. This wasn't like any drill he'd ever been through. But it definitely didn't sound real, either.
"Somebody set up us the bomb.. We get signal," Floyd's assistant, Garb, mumbled.
Floyd didn't understand Garb and seemed flustered. "What?" Was Garb turning stupid? He never talked like that. It was probably a mockery of Floyd's own speech.
Garb was too busy going through transmission procedures to listen to Floyd. "Main screen, turn on." he commanded. The system accepted the order and the large screen between Floyd and Garb lit up, and Sergeant Hyde's face faded in.
Floyd was relieved, seeing his sergeant's face, "It's you." Maybe it was real, after all. Maybe this would be a chance to prove his skills, when it counted. Floyd was ready for this. He smiled.
Floyd's sergeant wasn't smiling back. "How are you gentlemen?" That seemed like an odd thing for Hyde to ask. Before Floyd could respond, Sgt. Hyde continued. "All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction."
What? Okay, this was getting pretty damn strange. Was Sgt. Hyde infested? Perplexed, Floyd questioned, "What you say?"
Sgt. Hyde grinned and coolly remarked, "You have no chance to survive make your time... Hahahaha."
Floyd shook his head in anger, realizing this was one of those practical jokes his squad always played on him. He wondered what command would have to say about this unauthorized transmission. No, Hyde wouldn't risk being in trouble for that, would he? Maybe he really was going to give him orders...
"For great justice, take off every zig. Move zig, move zig, move zig, move zig, you know what you doing, take off every zig. Move zig, move zig, move zig, move zig, you know what you doing, take off every zig. Move zig, move zig, move zig, move zig, for great justice, take off every zig. Move zig, move zig, move zig, move zig, you know what you doing, take off every zig." Hyde ordered.
Floyd stared at the screen for a while, confused again, until Hyde and Garb began laughing simultaneously. Hyde's face turned into scramble, and Garb turned off the main screen, still chuckling. Floyd buried his face in his hands.
Garb chortled, "Hahaha.. You fall for all of our jokes. The only time you were smart enough to avoid one was when we messed it up and blew our own cover. It's sad, really." He was too happy. Just pulling this joke on him wouldn't make him this glad.
"You speak when ordered, Garb!" Floyd yelled. Damn him, damn the sergeant, damn this situation. Why was Floyd here? Why did they torment him all the time? It must've been some sort of entertainment for them, a way to pass their time. It was getting unbearable, however. It had to stop.
Garb went back to monitoring for 'real' transmissions, still chuckling. A faked surprised look appeared on his face. "Uh, sir.. There's another transmission coming, and this wasn't part of the joke, I swear."
Floyd nodded, "Main screen turn on."
It was Captain McGonnerson, and he was in a bad mood. "Where is Corporal Tark Floyd?" he snapped. He was really in a bad mood, but it wasn't about this...
Floyd stuttered, "R-right here, sir. What you need?" Damnit, he was sounding stupid to the captain.
Capt. McGonnerson rolled his eyes and stated, "You are relieved of your post. I detected an unauthorized transmission coming directly from your station. You will quit immediately. You have been reassigned to the 8th Blue Marine Squad. I will expect you to be at the Marine Training facility within a half-hour."
Floyd felt a lump in his throat. So, Garb had called the sergeant, and made it look like an incoming transmission. "S-sir.. I didn't have anything to do with the transmission. It was my assistant, Jeff Garb."
Jeff glared at Floyd, then turned to the screen, "Sir, he is obviously lying. You and I can both see that. I'm sure you have other, more important matters to attend to, so I won't stall you."
Captain McGonnerson shook his head. "I don't care whose fault it was, private, but you are right about me being busy. You sound capable enough, take Corporal Floyd's position. I have a feeling you're better suited to it." Captain McGonnerson ended the transmission, and Garb turned off the screen.
Floyd sat still, staring at the screen in disbelief.
Garb ordered, suddenly Floyd's superior, "You heard the Captain. You have a half-hour to get to the Training Facility. Get going, private." He stressed the word 'private'.
Garb had planned this.
Floyd shook his head, the lump in his throat hardening. No apology? Just a 'thank you, get going, private'? That wasn't right. That didn't make sense. Too cruel. In one minute, his whole life turned upside down. Everything he had achieved in his career, gone.
Garb repeated irritatedly, "Private. Get your ass to the Marine Training facility. If I have to repeat myself again, you're finished." Garb was staring at Floyd, trying his hardest to keep from bursting out into laughter.
"Yes sir." Floyd responded.
-Kenyai
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Chapter 1: The Demotion
-------------
Corporal Tark Floyd tapped the control panel out of boredom. The last time anything exciting had happened was on April Fool's day... That thought brought a chuckle out of Floyd. Life was interesting back then, before he was transferred. He actually had friends then.
Life hadn't been easy for him then, either, but it was better then than it was now. He never had gotten a good education, so he joined the military. That's all he could do with his life. He wasn't exactly attractive, and his personality was a dull one, so he didn't have much luck with love. He had female friends, but they were all platonic. And they were also on some backwater planet. All of his friends were. And here he was, stuck in one of the most boring positions on a battlecruiser. What was its name? Oh yes, it was called the "Mogg Sentry". Odd name, for a ship.
Floyd looked over at his so-called assistant, Jeff Garb. The only time he did anything useful was when he needed to look good. He was due for a promotion, and Floyd bet Garb was going to take his place, and soon.
A cheesy explosion sound effect played over the intercom.
"What happen?" Floyd asked, his poor grammar skills, and lack of education, were as evident as ever. This wasn't like any drill he'd ever been through. But it definitely didn't sound real, either.
"Somebody set up us the bomb.. We get signal," Floyd's assistant, Garb, mumbled.
Floyd didn't understand Garb and seemed flustered. "What?" Was Garb turning stupid? He never talked like that. It was probably a mockery of Floyd's own speech.
Garb was too busy going through transmission procedures to listen to Floyd. "Main screen, turn on." he commanded. The system accepted the order and the large screen between Floyd and Garb lit up, and Sergeant Hyde's face faded in.
Floyd was relieved, seeing his sergeant's face, "It's you." Maybe it was real, after all. Maybe this would be a chance to prove his skills, when it counted. Floyd was ready for this. He smiled.
Floyd's sergeant wasn't smiling back. "How are you gentlemen?" That seemed like an odd thing for Hyde to ask. Before Floyd could respond, Sgt. Hyde continued. "All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction."
What? Okay, this was getting pretty damn strange. Was Sgt. Hyde infested? Perplexed, Floyd questioned, "What you say?"
Sgt. Hyde grinned and coolly remarked, "You have no chance to survive make your time... Hahahaha."
Floyd shook his head in anger, realizing this was one of those practical jokes his squad always played on him. He wondered what command would have to say about this unauthorized transmission. No, Hyde wouldn't risk being in trouble for that, would he? Maybe he really was going to give him orders...
"For great justice, take off every zig. Move zig, move zig, move zig, move zig, you know what you doing, take off every zig. Move zig, move zig, move zig, move zig, you know what you doing, take off every zig. Move zig, move zig, move zig, move zig, for great justice, take off every zig. Move zig, move zig, move zig, move zig, you know what you doing, take off every zig." Hyde ordered.
Floyd stared at the screen for a while, confused again, until Hyde and Garb began laughing simultaneously. Hyde's face turned into scramble, and Garb turned off the main screen, still chuckling. Floyd buried his face in his hands.
Garb chortled, "Hahaha.. You fall for all of our jokes. The only time you were smart enough to avoid one was when we messed it up and blew our own cover. It's sad, really." He was too happy. Just pulling this joke on him wouldn't make him this glad.
"You speak when ordered, Garb!" Floyd yelled. Damn him, damn the sergeant, damn this situation. Why was Floyd here? Why did they torment him all the time? It must've been some sort of entertainment for them, a way to pass their time. It was getting unbearable, however. It had to stop.
Garb went back to monitoring for 'real' transmissions, still chuckling. A faked surprised look appeared on his face. "Uh, sir.. There's another transmission coming, and this wasn't part of the joke, I swear."
Floyd nodded, "Main screen turn on."
It was Captain McGonnerson, and he was in a bad mood. "Where is Corporal Tark Floyd?" he snapped. He was really in a bad mood, but it wasn't about this...
Floyd stuttered, "R-right here, sir. What you need?" Damnit, he was sounding stupid to the captain.
Capt. McGonnerson rolled his eyes and stated, "You are relieved of your post. I detected an unauthorized transmission coming directly from your station. You will quit immediately. You have been reassigned to the 8th Blue Marine Squad. I will expect you to be at the Marine Training facility within a half-hour."
Floyd felt a lump in his throat. So, Garb had called the sergeant, and made it look like an incoming transmission. "S-sir.. I didn't have anything to do with the transmission. It was my assistant, Jeff Garb."
Jeff glared at Floyd, then turned to the screen, "Sir, he is obviously lying. You and I can both see that. I'm sure you have other, more important matters to attend to, so I won't stall you."
Captain McGonnerson shook his head. "I don't care whose fault it was, private, but you are right about me being busy. You sound capable enough, take Corporal Floyd's position. I have a feeling you're better suited to it." Captain McGonnerson ended the transmission, and Garb turned off the screen.
Floyd sat still, staring at the screen in disbelief.
Garb ordered, suddenly Floyd's superior, "You heard the Captain. You have a half-hour to get to the Training Facility. Get going, private." He stressed the word 'private'.
Garb had planned this.
Floyd shook his head, the lump in his throat hardening. No apology? Just a 'thank you, get going, private'? That wasn't right. That didn't make sense. Too cruel. In one minute, his whole life turned upside down. Everything he had achieved in his career, gone.
Garb repeated irritatedly, "Private. Get your ass to the Marine Training facility. If I have to repeat myself again, you're finished." Garb was staring at Floyd, trying his hardest to keep from bursting out into laughter.
"Yes sir." Floyd responded.