A/N: H'm, tough to keep the ball rolling with this one. I'd like to thank all of you that reviewed. Your comments and criticisms have been an immense help in what, IMHO, is my best-written fic. *notices odd looks from readers* Okay, it may not be the most read or best liked, but I like to think that it goes to places my other fics don't- inside someone's mind.
Okay, enough of that! You get enough of that in the story.
Thank you Fire Goddess, Fleur, rini, Coqui, Wills, Rhysenn, and CaratGold.
***
I carry you in my arms down the hall. Judas. He sold out for thirty pieces of silver. I'm selling out for my life. I think he got the better deal. I know my life isn't worth this much. How could it? I'm not a man, just the shell of a man. I'm terribly disappointed with myself. I was hoping- I don't know what I was hoping. You're so innocent. I'm thoroughly corrupted. What was I hoping? That you could love me in just a few short hours? A lifetime probably wouldn't be long enough for you to love me. Pure evil. If I was, this would be so much easier. I would hate you and relish in your demise. But it's not that easy. Life isn't drawn in black and white, but a subtle mixture of grays. Too many grays and in-betweens.
My heart revolts against the very idea of what I'm about to do. Long-dormant heart, you have awakened with a vengeance. I can feel you in my throat. Feel you breaking. Go ahead and break. I won't need you after this. Don't do this to me. Don't. You don't have to fight me. Wreak havoc in my soul if you must. I'm done with fighting. I have to do this.
*Why?* the question presents itself. *Why must he die for your cowardice?* Because I can't stop him. I know I can't. *You've never even tried.* I laughed weakly. Tried? I've seen what happens to those who tried and how futile their struggle was. *He's only powerful because the death eaters support him.* Where did this voice come from why won't it leave me alone? *If all the death eaters turned against him...* We'd all be promptly killed. And he'd recruit new followers. And kill Harry anyway. *One by one, perhaps. If you did it all at once-* I don't have time to plan a revolt! If I had time-*You'd find more excuses.* I would not! But I don't have that option right now. We're here already.
I paused outside the door. I looked at his sleeping form and kissed him gently. Forgive me, love. I don't have the strength to fight him. Not like you do. The door swung open. "Come in, Lucius," a voice hissed. I stepped into the room. The door slammed shut behind me.
***
Would you believe me if I said there's one more chapter to go? Review please.
Luv ya-
J. Silver
Okay, enough of that! You get enough of that in the story.
Thank you Fire Goddess, Fleur, rini, Coqui, Wills, Rhysenn, and CaratGold.
***
I carry you in my arms down the hall. Judas. He sold out for thirty pieces of silver. I'm selling out for my life. I think he got the better deal. I know my life isn't worth this much. How could it? I'm not a man, just the shell of a man. I'm terribly disappointed with myself. I was hoping- I don't know what I was hoping. You're so innocent. I'm thoroughly corrupted. What was I hoping? That you could love me in just a few short hours? A lifetime probably wouldn't be long enough for you to love me. Pure evil. If I was, this would be so much easier. I would hate you and relish in your demise. But it's not that easy. Life isn't drawn in black and white, but a subtle mixture of grays. Too many grays and in-betweens.
My heart revolts against the very idea of what I'm about to do. Long-dormant heart, you have awakened with a vengeance. I can feel you in my throat. Feel you breaking. Go ahead and break. I won't need you after this. Don't do this to me. Don't. You don't have to fight me. Wreak havoc in my soul if you must. I'm done with fighting. I have to do this.
*Why?* the question presents itself. *Why must he die for your cowardice?* Because I can't stop him. I know I can't. *You've never even tried.* I laughed weakly. Tried? I've seen what happens to those who tried and how futile their struggle was. *He's only powerful because the death eaters support him.* Where did this voice come from why won't it leave me alone? *If all the death eaters turned against him...* We'd all be promptly killed. And he'd recruit new followers. And kill Harry anyway. *One by one, perhaps. If you did it all at once-* I don't have time to plan a revolt! If I had time-*You'd find more excuses.* I would not! But I don't have that option right now. We're here already.
I paused outside the door. I looked at his sleeping form and kissed him gently. Forgive me, love. I don't have the strength to fight him. Not like you do. The door swung open. "Come in, Lucius," a voice hissed. I stepped into the room. The door slammed shut behind me.
***
Would you believe me if I said there's one more chapter to go? Review please.
Luv ya-
J. Silver