Behind Bars: Faith's story
Lost and alone, a sea of
unrest,
A lonely girl's courage put
to the test,
No-one understands her,
nobody has tried,
Her tough exterior hides
what's inside.
Misunderstood, misguided and
hated,
A monster inside her has
been created,
Hurting and killing, losing
herself,
Only one person sees her
inner wealth.
Her guardian Angel she can't
push aside,
so he helps her push away
her hatred and pride,
after trouble with the
watchers council and confrontations with B,
she turned herself in and now waits to be free.
She stared straight
forwards, unblinking, expressionless, completely motionless. 7 months she had
spent in that cell, doing much the same everyday. But behind that
expressionless face lay a sea of thoughtful unrest. Soon she would be
free…..free! Her heart leapt at the
idea before an enormous sense of
loneliness and overwhelming came over her. Free? To go where? Who to?
Every she knew wanted her dead. Apart from, perhaps, Angel…….Angel, he was the
only one who cared if she lived to see another day. He had always believed she
had good in her, even after her numerous attempts to kill him, he had still
believed. He understood that behind her hard exterior lay a tortured soul. Only
one being in the whole world cares. A tear trickled down her cheek, she didn't
deserve to be alive. Her thoughts took her back, back to that night so many
months ago. She could see herself
fighting Angel in the pouring rain, her heartbeat was racing, he refused to
fight back properly. Why? She remembered fighting with all her might and at the
same time asking herself, why he didn't want to hit her, beat her….kill her?
Then the horrible realisation flooded her head, making her dizzy: she wanted to
die. Not just wanted, deserved to die! It hit her hard like a brick in the
stomach, the thing she wanted most in the world was to cease to exist. She was
a monster, she didn't want to be this, she didn't want to be here, in this
situation. She was fighting still, weakly and desperately. "Kill me!" she had
screamed, "I'm bad, I'm bad!" She had collapsed into Angel's arms sobbing with
pain.
A crash from outside her
cell brought her hurtling back to reality.
She had been disturbed from her daydreams but it was not long
before she lapsed into yet another: She
had packed her bags and was ready to leave, leave Angel's place, he couldn't do
anything for her. She met him at the door, he did not attempt to stop her….much.
As she walked down the alley he said what she was thinking, 'if she left now
she may never be saved'. She stopped turned round and said, hiding her tears, "Help
me".
Faith opened her eyes and hung her head, that was then, at
least she'd had someone then, even if it was just one person. But now, she was
all alone.
