A Different Reality Part 19
By Cybra
A/N: sigh It's almost over…:::ignores the cheering coming from readers::: Well, here we go again.
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, but this twisted up version is of my own creation! evil laughter
I am Koushiro.
I also am leaving the only home I've had for quite some time.
I did the calculations in my head after Joe said that one Earth minute equaled a digi-day. That means that I'd only escaped Hell on Earth for a grand total of four days.
I haven't felt this depressed since after my parents died.
"Koushiro, are you all right?" Tentomon asked quietly, not wanting to interrupt my thoughts.
For the first time in a long time, I answered, "No."
If Tento had eyelids, I'm sure he would've blinked. I usually tell whoever asks me that question "yes" whether I'm all right or not. Today, I didn't see a point to it.
I was walking a little with Tentomon. I'd seen the good-byes the others had participated in. Taichi – despite what I had originally thought he would do – had gotten teary-eyed before he and Agumon had one last laugh together. Jyou and Gomamon had another goodbye that had started off sad, but ended with them smiling. Sora and Biyomon had sat in a tree talking about how Sora's view of her mother had changed as they said goodbye. Yamato and Gabumon didn't really say anything, but Yamato played his harmonica for Gabumon one last time. Mimi and Palmon had been in tears – the same with Takeru and Patamon. Kari gave Gatomon her whistle and told the feline that she'd see her next time. (I guess she's anticipating when she'll return with new Digidestined, like the Kari from the other timeline obviously had.)
As for me, I was still trying to pull myself out of denial.
The Digital World had been the only place I could really call "home" for four Earth years. Whenever I try to remember the home I'd had before, my mind comes up blank. Did I have friends back then? What had been my favorite foods? All of these questions had no answers, and that scared me.
No. It didn't scare me.
It terrified me.
I suddenly sat down on a rock, surprising my digital partner. He landed beside me, not saying a word.
"I can't go," I whispered.
"Why not? You'll be going home," Tentomon stated, looking as sad as I felt.
I kicked an innocent rock away from me. "The Digiworld is my home, Tento. Not Earth."
Why did I tell him that? I still can't figure it out. He didn't need my problems. After all, they were my problems, not his.
My partner didn't say anything, knowing I had a lot on my mind.
Why? Why did I have to leave the only place where I felt at home?! This was my home!
Only now, I was going back to the place of my four years of torture.
As I fought to remember what it had been like to have a loving family, my mind continued to come up blank. I couldn't even remember my mother's face anymore…
I began to shake. In another four years of that torture, would I remember what the Digiworld was like? Would I remember what Tentomon looked like or the sound of his voice? Or would I be left with another memory gap?
My shaking continued, causing Tentomon to become worried about me.
"Koushiro?"
"I can't…I can't go back…" I whispered fiercely.
A new voice called out to me. It belonged to Taichi Kamiya. "Koushiro, are you okay?"
I turned to face him and saw his sister and Yamato standing there, their Digimon partners by their sides. I gave them a curt nod, my voice was sure to betray me.
Taichi's eyes softened. "Then why are you crying?"
My eyes widened as I reached up to touch my cheek. Something wet had left a smooth trail there. A droplet of water slid down my cheek, touching my hand. Tears…
Hastily, I wiped them away. I would not allow myself to give into tears. I had to be strong, immaculate, the perfect soldier. That was my lot in life. I had no use for these emotions.
"Koushiro…?" Kari asked, her eyes wide with concern.
"I wish to be left alone," I stated, my voice growing colder than normal. It surprised me. I never talked to anyone in that tone of voice anymore.
The Fates must plot against me since they did not leave. I stood and turned my back on them, finding the view suddenly a lot more interesting. If I was going to be ripped away from my home, then I might as well get one last good look at it.
I had escaped Hell, but now I was going back.
That's when my mind slipped back to a memory the last of my attempts to escape from about three years ago.
~@~
I'd planned my escape weeks ago. I'd waited for weeks for the right moment…
…but it didn't matter.
I was still caught.
I backed up against a wall, not wanting anyone to get behind me. That way, I had one less side to keep an eye on.
Commander Yosho marched towards me, another instructor on each side of him. His eyes burned with anger. "Izumi, how many times do I have to tell you?!" he roared. "Escape is impossible!"
I glared defiantly at him. I knew what he was going to do, but I wouldn't show the terror I felt. I didn't dare. If he saw my fear, he'd punish me more severely. However, I also clung to those rebellious and stubborn streaks I'd developed from having to survive here.
With one mighty hand, he backhanded me across the face. My head snapped to the left as I offered no resistance to the hit. He could've broken my neck if I had.
"This will teach you never to attempt escape again!" he snarled, the instructors at his sides backing up a step simultaneously.
Uh oh.
If they were scared, that meant only one thing:
Commander Yosho had been drinking recently.
Occasionally, the military officers and instructors will get together for sociable drinks. Commander Yosho always drank the most, and if he got mad, look out.
I was toast.
Now that he was closer to me, my nose picked up the nauseating stench of alcohol on his breath more easily. He grabbed me with one hand by the shoulder, holding me still. Not that he would've had to do that. I was frozen by terror.
There was a loud crack as his fist connected with my face. My head snapped back and hit the wall behind me. Stars formed in my vision as I lifted my hands to my face, a small whimper of pain escaping my lips.
A brutal attack on my right side alerted me that the punishment was far from over. I could hear another few cracks as either his fist or his foot connected with my right side. I fell to the ground, but he picked me back up.
"There. Is. No escape!" Commander Yosho snarled, throwing me back into the wall.
I finally let out a scream of pain. Through blurred vision, I could see soldiers gathering other trainees around. I was being used as an example.
A vicious kick in the stomach brought me to my knees. A knee in the chin snapped my head back into the wall once more. All the while, I continued screaming. The pain was so intense…
Then, the attacks stopped. I dared to lift my gaze up from the floor to try to see my superior officer's face. My vision was fuzzy. His hard eyes glared down at me. I moaned. It wasn't over yet.
He picked me up and easily tossed me over his shoulder. I hit the ground with a thump and rolled in an attempt to ease the pain. My body screamed in protest and demanded I at least try to fight back. I obeyed my body's wishes. If he was going to punish me this severely, I might as well get a few licks in myself.
When he threw a punch at me, I ducked under it, throwing him off-balance. At the same time, I twisted my bruised body to step out of the way of my falling superior. He hit the floor with a pronounced thud before he turned and looked at me.
A fellow trainee gasped. Nobody had had the guts to try to fight back from a punishment.
However, my supposed courage would most likely get me killed.
If I died, that was fine with me.
I'd do anything to escape.
Commander Yosho gave a feral cry as he launched himself at me. I was smaller, but he was better trained. He didn't fall for the same trick twice. He grabbed me by the neck and began to squeeze.
I struggled in his grip as my supply of oxygen stopped flowing into my lungs. I gripped his hands with my own smaller hands in a vain attempt to get him to release. I gagged, trying to take in precious air.
This was it. I was finally going to die.
Just when darkness began to fill my vision, I felt myself being thrown back into the wall once more. The pain of my already beaten body hitting the hard surface snapped me back to full consciousness.
No, no, no!
I had almost died! Why hadn't he finished the job?!
I weakly tried to lift myself to my feet. Another kick in my right side made me fall to the floor once again, the pain too great. I coughed, and blood landed on the ground in front of my mouth.
He'd broken a few ribs with that first hit in the side. I could really feel that now.
Trainees gasped in horror. None of them had seen such brutality. They'd seen punishments before – they'd even had been punished before since everyone was punished at some point – but none as vicious as the one they witnessed now.
Commander Yosho paused once again, letting the pain seep through my battered body. I didn't move. I couldn't move. What was the point? Besides, my body was refusing to obey my brain's commands to stand.
"There is no escape from this facility!" Commander Yosho's voice boomed from somewhere above me. I couldn't see him clearly. "If any attempts are made, there will be harsh consequences. Is that clear?"
"Yes, Sir!" the trainees answered crisply.
"Get back to your training! Dismissed!"
The other trainees hurried away, leaving Commander Yosho, a few instructors, and myself alone.
The commander merely looked downwards, glaring at me. "I hope you remember this little lesson, Izumi. I see promise in you, but I won't hesitate to severely injure you when you disobey! Is that clear?"
"Yes, Sir," I weakly whispered, my voice cracking from the pain.
"Good. Seeing as you will be unable to attend training for today, you are dismissed to your quarters. Report to training at the usual time tomorrow. Dismissed!"
His large form left my vision. I moaned slightly as I tried to rise, but failed miserably. My injured body couldn't take much more. I coughed, and more blood decorated the floor in front of my mouth.
The instructors that were still there exchanged glances, then turned to leave. One of them – a woman from what I could tell by her voice – remained.
She told me, "I suggest that you lose that rebellious streak, Izumi, or next time, you may lose your life."
She turned away, leaving me behind.
I could not go to the medical facility on this hidden base. Whenever a trainee was punished, he or she had to take care of his or her own wounds. The doctors would not dress the wounds from a punishment.
I lay there for I don't know how long. I could've been lying there for seconds, minutes, or hours, but I didn't really know. I would cough up more blood, but I didn't care. I really didn't care.
I wanted to die more than anything, but my body still clung to life. Hopelessness settled upon my body. I would never escape Hell.
That was the day my will to return to the life I had had before this Hell had been broken.
~@~
"Koushiro?"
Kari's quiet, almost timid voice brought me out of my memory. I was shivering as if in a cold wind.
No! It wouldn't get to me! I was to be a perfect soldier! I was supposed to be immaculate!
'Yes, and that place you're going back to tried to shape you that way,' part of my mind sneered.
I kept my eyes turned away from my "friends". Tentomon buzzed worriedly beside me, but did not say a word.
I didn't answer Kari. Rude, I know. Still, I did not trust my voice. It would reveal the pain.
My God, all that training had started coming undone. This world had affected me more than I'd originally thought.
"I will meet up with the rest of you at the trolley car in fifteen minutes," I told them at last.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kari open her mouth to protest, but Gatomon shook her head. Yamato and Taichi led the girl away along with their Digimon.
I sat down on the grass. There was no use getting around it. I was going back to the base and that was that. I might as well bid farewell to the only friend I'd had since Jake.
"I'll miss you, Tento," I told him honestly. "You're the closest friend and only family I've had for a long, long time."
"I'll miss you, too, Koushiro," Tentomon answered, trying to hide his sniffling. "You're the best friend I've ever had. Hopefully, I'll see you again someday."
'No, you won't,' I thought. 'I probably won't even remember you very well.' However, instead of saying these dark thoughts aloud, I stated, "Maybe."
Silence reigned supreme as we sat on the grass together one last time. Everything that could be said had been said. Nothing else could be said.
After a few moments of silence, Tento's talons/arms wrapped around me. I stiffened as he gave me a hug. It felt…nice.
That's when I realized that for the first time in a long time, there would be somebody to miss me when I was gone. There was somebody who cared about me. I bit my lower lip as unshed tears began to sting my eyes. Then, to my utter surprise, I wrapped my arms around Tento, hugging him back. Tentomon was as shocked as I was, but seemed happy that I returned his hug.
Something wet hit my shirt. I noticed tears flowing out of my best friend's big green eyes. He was crying. For me.
"I'm sorry…" he sniffled. "I shouldn't…"
"It's alright…" I murmured, my voice cracking with violently suppressed emotion. "I'll miss you, too…"
~@~
We remained like that for a few more minutes before we began to walk towards the others. I hastily wiped a few stray tears that had escaped my tight control before we reached the group. Gatomon was giving Kari one last hug goodbye, Kari's whistle hanging around her neck. I then remembered the locket I had told Kari to hold onto, but spotted it in plain view, hanging around her own neck with the Crest of Light hanging proudly next to it.
We children boarded the trolley car. Yamato and Taichi opened two adjacent windows.
Taichi's voice was slightly choked as he asked, "Well, guys, what can we say?"
"Try 'goodbye'," Agumon suggested, his voice also slightly choked.
With that, the trolley came to life and began to move. We waved goodbye to our Digimon partners.
Our partners suddenly began running on the shore to the left of the trolley car. Gatomon waved her paws wildly above her head like Palmon, Agumon, and Gabumon did. Tentomon, Patamon, and Biyomon flew through the air. Gomamon ran along on all fours, an awkward run because of his flippers.
Tentomon suddenly dipped down to Gatomon and seemed to say something to her. She grinned and leaped up into the air. My partner snagged her in midair, then made a beeline in our direction as fast as his wings could take him, compensating for the extra weight.
Kari came over to stand next to me as the two Digimon approached. Gatomon nuzzled her hand one more time as I placed a hand on Tentomon's claw for a moment. A small smile tugged at my lips, but I made sure only he would see it. That smile was my gift to him. Tentomon's eyes lit up at the sight and smiled back at me the only way he could, but I knew that if he'd been human, he'd have been grinning from ear to ear.
The two Digimon flew back to the shore as we began to soar into the sky. All of the Digimon waved goodbye, shouting farewells simultaneously.
We flew into the eclipse itself, the eclipse ending just as we passed through it. The gate to the Digital World was sealed.
I sat back in my seat as we made the journey back to Earth. I had never thought I would see Earth again. Maybe, if I was lucky, I'd catch a glimpse of the outside world before I was taken back to where I'd come from.
I knew that like Satan I had been cast out of Heaven.
'Earth, here I come.'
TO BE CONTINUED…
A/N: Well, that was…angsty. I think I really tore into Koushiro on that one. I tried thinking of how I would feel if I had been ripped away from Paradise back into someplace I hated. It's not a pleasant feeling, let me assure you. By the way, I did the calculations for how long their summer vacation would've been in the Digital World according to the one minute equals one day thing and they had two Earth weeks of summer vacation left. I came up with the amount of time spent in the Digital World would've been about fifty-five years. Not over a hundred years, but I decided to keep something close to the original number since I didn't want to confuse people.
Special thanks to…
Kyra (AKA Ascot no Miko) – We haven't talked in a while. I need to hear from you. I miss you, woman! Anyway, thanks for being a friend! coughworkonDestiny'sPathcough ^^;;;
Vyse – Thanks for letting me throw ideas off of you! You're a great friend!
Aquarius – Did you like all that angst, Aqua-chan?
Kelly Moon (AKA Aphrael) – Dude, you're good. That latest fic of yours blew my mind. Anyway, thanks for chatting it up with me!
Kay – I haven't heard much from you, Kay-ster! Where ya been? Anyway, thanks for the occasional strange e-mails!
Shameless promos…
Musical Inspirations…
When Koushiro was thinking about how he might not remember Tentomon in four years, how he didn't really remember his parents, and his goodbye with Tentomon was inspired by "Think of Me" from Phantom of the Opera. It's a very moving song.
The memory of Koushiro's punishment for trying to escape was inspired by "Hemorrhage (In My Hands)" performed by Fuel.
The scene where the Digimon were chasing after the trolley car on the shore was inspired by "Hey Digimon!" from the Digimon the Movie soundtrack and by the episode "The Fate of Two Worlds".