A New Life, A New Reminder
I must have been crazy when I did it. Asking my future son what my life would be like. But I wanted to know, more then anything. What would I be doing, who would I be with, where I would be. But nothing prepared me for the news I got. Something in me excepted it, something in me thought I could change it. But there was also something that screamed for me not too.
* * *
So much of me loved my life, and I couldn't imagine it any other way. Sitting in my living room with the Marauders, and my beautiful wife, I couldn't believe my fortune. Sirius was laughing about something I didn't hear, probably at my expense. But I was watching Lily at her desk, leaned over a piece of parchment the length of her, squinting her eyes.
She leaned back, rubbing her temples, and sighing. I was about to get to my feet, when Sirius leapt up, and began to dance a jig. Lily and I exchanged glances, and both started laughing. "Hey, old chap," Sirius began, laughing. "You remember doing that with Harry? The way Severus looked when that snobby Slytherin… Malfoy? Yeah, him… He started dancing the jig?"
My eyes bugged out of my head, and I almost passed out. The exact moment I noticed the blunder, Sirius did as well, clapping his hand to his forehead. "What happened?" Lily asked, cocking an eyebrow. Lily used to be a prefect, and she never took part in our stunts as the Marauders. To this day, she disapproved whenever we laughed over the misfortune we caused to anyone, including Severus Snape.
"Um, Harry…" I said, searching my brain for an excuse. "Friend of mine from Hogwarts… And Malfoy. Not funny, really," I finished, lamely, peering at her with complete innocence. "You would have liked Harry," I added, trying to cover it up more. "Devilishly handsome, like myself, but less daring."
My wife smiled at me with a hint of amusement before she replied, "I can guarantee I'd like him…"
Peter grinned, and laughed, "Sounds to me like she'd leave you for him."
In that moment, Sirius, Remus and I all groaned in disgust. "That's vile!" Remus muttered, grabbing his stomach.
"I like the name Harry," Lily said softly. "Maybe we can name the baby that."
I knew, at that moment, that every Marauder dropped their jaw and stared at her in utter astonishment. But I was the most astounded. Falling to my knees in front of her, I begged her to tell me it was true. One look in those stunning green eyes and I knew, I was going to be a father.
* * *
Halfway through the pregnancy, I received a job from Minister Fudge himself. An assignment to go deep within the lair of Voldemort, and return with the list of Death Eaters. I took the job, not giving it a second thought.
But as I walked into our house that night, seeing Lily sitting on the couch, her stomach swollen, her hands resting on her abdomen, I regretted it. When I was single, I could take these jobs, with no concern for my own welfare. But now I had a wife to worry for, and soon, a baby. How would I tell her?
But when Lily looked up at me with tears in her stunning eyes, I knew I didn't need to tell her. She knew. "I'm so sorry," I whispered, sitting next to her. But she didn't need me to apologize, she just needed me to hold her. And I did.
* * *
Excepting that job was easy. Succeeding was harder. I had to sneak into Voldemort's castle, and find his list. I have never been more terrified in all my life. I remember the dark hallways, the darkest shadows I had ever seen. Movements in the corner of me eye. But I had come as a Death Eater. Dressed as none other then Lucius Malfoy. I thought it was a stroke of genius, personally. The Marauders and I had made a collection of pieces of various students, in case we needed them for a Polyjuice Potion. I admit, it had been a struggle, but we managed to secure more then the efficient amount.
I found the laboratory, and searched heavily for the list. It was on a rolled up piece of parchment under his desk, littered with curses and hexes. So much of me wanted to look around, but more of me wanted to return to Lily.
* * *
When I got home that night, Lily was already asleep, curled into a ball on our bed. I stood there watching her sleep for a moment. So soft, so serene, so beautiful. I watched her as she slept, waiting for the moment when I would wake from this reverie. But I didn't. I lay beside her, brushing hair from her cheek. She rolled over and snuggled next to me, sighing contentedly.
I couldn't believe my fortune. I had fallen completely and madly in love with the woman of my dreams, and I never would have noticed it if I hadn't walked into the Three Broomsticks at eleven o'clock in the morning.
* * *
Sitting in the waiting room of St. Mungo's Hospital, I watched as nurses scurried back and forth. Sirius sat beside me, Remus next to him, Peter across the way. Lily had vanished behind the metallic swinging doors almost two hours before, and I was not allowed to follow. I felt a hand slide across my shoulder blades, and I turned to find Jasmine, Lily's best friend, standing behind me.
She'd become a nurse at St. Mungo's about the time Lily and I got married. "James," she whispered. "You guys can come in now."
I don't remember ever being more anxious in any moment of my life. As I walked into the hospital room. Lily lay on the bed, holding a bundle in her arms. I sat down beside her, and reached out to pull away the blanket from my son's face. He had the same startling green eyes that I remembered, and he looked exactly like me.
"He's stunning," I whispered, kissing Lily's forehead lightly. "Beautiful eyes." Sirius entered into the room at that moment. Stepping forward, I looked up at him.
For the first time, Sirius Black had tears in his eyes. "We want you to be his godfather," Lily whispered to my best friend. I saw his eyes mist over, and he grinned. "Will you?"
"Of course," he whispered in return, bending over to peer at Harry with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. Everything would be fine. I knew it. Nothing could change this. Maybe I had changed everything just by going into the future. But maybe not.
* * *
But when I returned home that evening, with my wife and my new son, there was an owl waiting for me from the Ministry. I waited until Lily and Harry retired from the room before I opened it.
James,
It has come to our attention that Voldemort may be after you and your family. We believe it to be in your best interests if you begin a search for a secret keeper. Please notify us tomorrow with your decision.
Sincerely,
Cornelius Fudge
I leaned back in my chair, and sighed. The most obvious choice for secret keeper would be Sirius, of course. I'd talk to him about it tomorrow. Tonight, I was exhausted, and I had a new born.
Walking into our bedroom, I found Lily fast asleep, half changed. I tucked her under the blankets, kissed her forehead, and pulled away. Leaning over my son's crib, I smiled. I may not have had forever. But at least I had for now.