^He walks in, eyeing me like a child who has done something wrong.^
-Honest-
~Fujin
Sometimes, people say things just to make other people feel better. Sometimes, people say things that they don't *really* mean, they just say... or do them anyway. That's how I think Seifer feels about me. I really do.
"Seifer... really its nothing." I say, finally regaining composure after he kissed me.
"Tell me... please..."
"...I was just... just..." I try desperately to find a way to say my words without hurting him.
"Come on, Fuu, tell me." I back away, but he follows, I'm cornered into a wall. Seifer, I don't want to hurt you by saying this...
"...It was nothing."
"Fujin."
"Seifer, stop it." He kisses me deeply and I try to step back, but I can't. He is careful, I can tell, for my neck still has stitches in it. I kiss him back, but then I finally place my hand on his chest and give him a slight push. He steps away.
"Just tell me what's bothering you... I can fix it." No you can't... Seifer, please...
"N-no." I slide out from between him and the wall and walk into my room, but unfortunetly, Raijin and Toni are in there. I step out, and I can feel Seifer's eyes on me. Without thinking, I walk into his room. Maybe he'll just leave me alone now. I glance around his room. I've never really been in here before... I've slept in here once or twice now, but never really explored it. It's just got a bed, a dresser, and a closet. His Hyperion and two trenchcoats are in the closet. Its cold in this room, and I sit on his bed, which is very lazilly made. I rub my bare arms, and scold myself for wearing a sleeveless shirt. Then I see the door knob turn. Oh god, no... no...no.. It opens. He walks in, eyeing me like a child who has done something wrong.
"I-I'll leave." I say, standing up and walking towards the door, but he grabs me. Why aren't you saying anything? Talk to me. I can feel the soft leather of his gloves press against my skin.
"Seifer, let me go." He just tightens his grip on my arm. Seifer!
"Seifer, you are hurting me." I say. He lets go of my arm, but holds me close to his body. Oh god... oh...
"Tell... me... what's bothering you." He finally says. No. I can't. No, no, no! I remain silent. Everything is so quiet.
"...Fujin, don't waste my time." ...I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry... Just let me go, and I'll leave you alone..." Don't let go, oh please, don't let go.
"If that's the way you want it." He lets go of me. Now, I have to play my part... I step towards the door, and place my hand on the cold knob. Slowly, I turn my wrist and pull. Its locked. There's a keyhole on this side... Dammit, Seifer, what the hell are you trying to do?! I don't turn around, I stare blankly at the door. I don't feel threatened, though anyone else would be. I trust Seifer... whether I want to or not... I do. I slowly turn, and realize he is so close behind me. Oh... I exhale slowly. Seifer... What are you doing?
"Mm, Fuu... You want to leave that badly...?" Not sure how to answer, I remain silent. He takes the small key out of his pocket and holds it out to me.
"Take it, go on." This must symbolize something... If I take the key, it'll be just like leaveing our love in the dust, but should I stay... I'll show I want commitment... But... I don't think he really loves me. So, I reach out to his hand, and grasp the key, and slowly take it away. I cannot see his expression in the darkness. I move my hand back toward my body, and prepare to turn and open the door. But something inside possesses me to toss the key to the floor. It lands on the carpet with a thud. I can barely make out Seifer's facial expression, but I think its a quizical glance. I stare up at him, almost scared of what he will do next but, there is no reason... I don't think. He puts his bare hands on my shoulders. He's taken off his gloves... His hands are so terribly cold... Just like this room.
"Seifer..."
"Fujin, I just want you to tell me how you feel... Nothing more, nothing less... That's all I ask." My head starts to pound suddenly, and I bring my hand to my head, glaring at the floor.
"You okay?"
"I'm... fine." I feel dizzy, and lean foward onto Seifer, who wraps his arms around me. No, I didn't ask for this.
"You sure...? Maybe you should sit down."
"N-no, I'm okay." The pain in my head is almost unbearable.
"...Hm." He kisses my forehead and walks me toward the bed, where I sit down, still pressing my hand to my head.
"...Fuu, I need you to tell me what's wrong."
"W-why?"
"Because I don't want you to be sad... And I'm beginning to think it's got something to do with me..."
"...Mhm..."
"...Well?" He sits beside me.
"I was..." Dammit, Fujin, just tell him. "I was just worried that... I mean, I thought that... Well, rather, I *think* that..." I've never sounded so nervous and insecure before in my life.
"Yeah?"
"That you..." This could take forever the way I'm headed.
"Hm?"
"That you..."
"What?"
"That you... don't *truely* love me. I mean, I know it sounds selfish, but its just so hard to believe..." I finally blurt out. Oh god, I'm sorry.
-Honest-
~Fujin
Sometimes, people say things just to make other people feel better. Sometimes, people say things that they don't *really* mean, they just say... or do them anyway. That's how I think Seifer feels about me. I really do.
"Seifer... really its nothing." I say, finally regaining composure after he kissed me.
"Tell me... please..."
"...I was just... just..." I try desperately to find a way to say my words without hurting him.
"Come on, Fuu, tell me." I back away, but he follows, I'm cornered into a wall. Seifer, I don't want to hurt you by saying this...
"...It was nothing."
"Fujin."
"Seifer, stop it." He kisses me deeply and I try to step back, but I can't. He is careful, I can tell, for my neck still has stitches in it. I kiss him back, but then I finally place my hand on his chest and give him a slight push. He steps away.
"Just tell me what's bothering you... I can fix it." No you can't... Seifer, please...
"N-no." I slide out from between him and the wall and walk into my room, but unfortunetly, Raijin and Toni are in there. I step out, and I can feel Seifer's eyes on me. Without thinking, I walk into his room. Maybe he'll just leave me alone now. I glance around his room. I've never really been in here before... I've slept in here once or twice now, but never really explored it. It's just got a bed, a dresser, and a closet. His Hyperion and two trenchcoats are in the closet. Its cold in this room, and I sit on his bed, which is very lazilly made. I rub my bare arms, and scold myself for wearing a sleeveless shirt. Then I see the door knob turn. Oh god, no... no...no.. It opens. He walks in, eyeing me like a child who has done something wrong.
"I-I'll leave." I say, standing up and walking towards the door, but he grabs me. Why aren't you saying anything? Talk to me. I can feel the soft leather of his gloves press against my skin.
"Seifer, let me go." He just tightens his grip on my arm. Seifer!
"Seifer, you are hurting me." I say. He lets go of my arm, but holds me close to his body. Oh god... oh...
"Tell... me... what's bothering you." He finally says. No. I can't. No, no, no! I remain silent. Everything is so quiet.
"...Fujin, don't waste my time." ...I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry... Just let me go, and I'll leave you alone..." Don't let go, oh please, don't let go.
"If that's the way you want it." He lets go of me. Now, I have to play my part... I step towards the door, and place my hand on the cold knob. Slowly, I turn my wrist and pull. Its locked. There's a keyhole on this side... Dammit, Seifer, what the hell are you trying to do?! I don't turn around, I stare blankly at the door. I don't feel threatened, though anyone else would be. I trust Seifer... whether I want to or not... I do. I slowly turn, and realize he is so close behind me. Oh... I exhale slowly. Seifer... What are you doing?
"Mm, Fuu... You want to leave that badly...?" Not sure how to answer, I remain silent. He takes the small key out of his pocket and holds it out to me.
"Take it, go on." This must symbolize something... If I take the key, it'll be just like leaveing our love in the dust, but should I stay... I'll show I want commitment... But... I don't think he really loves me. So, I reach out to his hand, and grasp the key, and slowly take it away. I cannot see his expression in the darkness. I move my hand back toward my body, and prepare to turn and open the door. But something inside possesses me to toss the key to the floor. It lands on the carpet with a thud. I can barely make out Seifer's facial expression, but I think its a quizical glance. I stare up at him, almost scared of what he will do next but, there is no reason... I don't think. He puts his bare hands on my shoulders. He's taken off his gloves... His hands are so terribly cold... Just like this room.
"Seifer..."
"Fujin, I just want you to tell me how you feel... Nothing more, nothing less... That's all I ask." My head starts to pound suddenly, and I bring my hand to my head, glaring at the floor.
"You okay?"
"I'm... fine." I feel dizzy, and lean foward onto Seifer, who wraps his arms around me. No, I didn't ask for this.
"You sure...? Maybe you should sit down."
"N-no, I'm okay." The pain in my head is almost unbearable.
"...Hm." He kisses my forehead and walks me toward the bed, where I sit down, still pressing my hand to my head.
"...Fuu, I need you to tell me what's wrong."
"W-why?"
"Because I don't want you to be sad... And I'm beginning to think it's got something to do with me..."
"...Mhm..."
"...Well?" He sits beside me.
"I was..." Dammit, Fujin, just tell him. "I was just worried that... I mean, I thought that... Well, rather, I *think* that..." I've never sounded so nervous and insecure before in my life.
"Yeah?"
"That you..." This could take forever the way I'm headed.
"Hm?"
"That you..."
"What?"
"That you... don't *truely* love me. I mean, I know it sounds selfish, but its just so hard to believe..." I finally blurt out. Oh god, I'm sorry.