^Maybe you can forigve me... but I know that I can never forgive myself.^
-Perfect-
~Seifer
God, I didn't mean to hurt you... I was just... Aw, Fuck! I hate myself so much sometimes... Just when she said I was hurting her... I wanted to show her that I wasn't, and could hurt her much more if I had meant to hurt her... And I so, I hurt her...
"Fujin... please..."
"...I-I'm gonna go to bed..."
"Fuu..."
"..." She left. I kept seeing her face when I hurt her... She looked so innocent, and shocked... maybe even afraid. Dammit! ...Fucking... Fucking... Fucking ME! The front door opened and in walked Raijin. Wow, its one already? I checked my watch. Yep.
"H-hey, Seifa."
"Mhm..."
"Yo, is everything alright?"
"Y-yeah..."
"Where's Fujin?"
"Sleeping."
"Oh... her neck bothering her...?"
"Not really." Yeah, her *wrist* is though...
"Oh, okay."
"So... um, you ready for fatherhood?" I ask, trying not to let my depressed and upset mood catch on.
"Not really, but, I will be, ya know?!"
"Mm, so, have long have ya known her? A week or so? And you are already gettin' married and having children."
"Yeah, yeah. But Toni is just so loveable..." ...Then it struck me, like being slapped across the face. That's why Fujin was so upset. I had been flirting with her... without even knowing it. Right in front of Fujin... Dammit! Well, I wasn't flirting. She was flirting with me... but still I flirted back...
"Yo, Seifa, you okay?"
"Y-yeah, I'm fine..."
"You don't seem it... and why is Fujin in bed? She feeling okay? I don't want her to be sick or nothin'." ...Heheh. Always so caring for Fujin... You wouldn't even hurt her... and I did...
"...She was tired, okay?! Dammit!" I walked into my bedroom. Fifteen minutes later, I walked back out. Raijin must have gone to bed... Oh wait... Voices. I stepped up to the door of their room.
"What happened to your wrist, Fujin?!"
"NOTHING. YOU. SEE WRONG." Fuu...
"No! That thing is bruised up like... uh, I dunno, but it looks pretty bad!"
"WINDOW. TRIED CLOSE. FELL ON WRIST."
"Really?! Ouch, ya know?! You want some ice?"
"NEGATIVE. WILL BE FINE. NOW, YOU SLEEP."
"Uh, okay, ya know?!" There was silence. I was so upset at myself. I never thought I'd hate myself so much... I looked down at my hand. There was a bruise and a cut on my knuckles. Well worth it, if I hurt Fujin, I deserved to be hurt more... I considered putting another hole in the wall, but, that'd just be more to pay for...
~~~
I didn't sleep that night, I just sat at Fujin's window seat and stared out the window. Raijin left in the morning, and Fujin remained in her bedroom. Fujin, please... just listen... come out. I finally just walked over to the door and knocked.
"Um, ...hold on..." Hold on? Two minutes later, I hear a faint "Come in." I enter.
"Uh, Fujin...?" She walks over to me.
"Yeah?" She crosses her arms, and looks toward the ground.
"I'm sorry for flirting with Toni... I'm sorry for hurting you... I'm sorry for the thing with Squall... Dammit, Fuu, I'm just so sorry!"
"...You have the right to flirt with anyone you want, its not like... like... um, we're married or anything... With Squall, that wasn't your fault... And.. when you hurt me... I... I..." She takes a deep breath. "I don't understand why you... would..." She took a really long pause. I wanted to put my hand on her shoulder... But I held back.
"Why you would hurt me... but... I'm, ...I'm sure you have your... um, r- reasons..." She finished. How could she say something like that? How could she be so... forgiving?
"No... Fuu... I didn't mean to... I wasn't thinking clearly... God dammit. I'd never hurt you again. I swear..."
"I, I know..." I grabbed her lower arm and examined her wrist. It had huge, bluish-yellow bruises on either side.
"I'm so sorry..." I say, resting it back by her side.
"N-no, it's alright." She seemed nervous. She was stuttering an awful lot. All my fault... It's all my fault. Everything that had hurt her for the last week was MY fault. I'd never hurt Fujin, but I did...hurt her. Or caused her to be hurt... I felt dizzy. Okay, I'm okay... I am... my fault. All MY fault. The dizziness worsened, and I grabbed the door knob behind me to steady myself. Fujin walked toward me, concerned.
"Are you... a-alright?!" She grabbed me, and brought me over to sit on her bed.
"Thanks..." I said, still feeling a little dizzy.
"Mm... you want some aspirin or something? Y-you don't look all that well..."
"No, I'll be fine."
"You sure...?"
"Uh huh." She sat beside me, and just looked at me. What is it? She brush some of my hair off of my forehead, and this affectionate act showed me that she forgave me, and I hugged her. I made you cry... Maybe you can forigve me... but I know that I can never forgive myself.
"S-Seifer... can you... tell me... why?" She asked into my shoulder.
"It was an accident. I wasn't thinking... I just got annoyed when you said that I was hurting you... I wanted to show you that I wasn't, and could hurt you much more if I had meant to hurt you... And I know I was hurting you in the first place, but I didn't then, I just wanted you to tell me what was wrong... and why you were upset at me... but I know what it was now... I'm so sorry..."
"Seifer... It's okay... I forgive you..."
"...N-no... I don't even forgive myself... God, Fuu..."
"...Please, just forget about it... I get hurt all the time..."
"But *I* hurt you this time! Not just some half-assed enemy!" Maybe I am just a half-assed enemy...
"Which just makes you easier to forgive." You're so perfect... Everything you say... is just so befitting.
"...Fujin."
"It's alright... A couple of bruises aren't anything compared to what say, um, Squall did to me..."
"But that's my fault too!"
"It is NOT!"
"Yeah, it is, you know that." We seperated from our embrace.
"Seifer, you need to stop blaming yourself for everything that happens to me! ...That's why you're so sick with this stress thing... just, please..."
"...Yeah..." I didn't agree with her, but I didn't feel like arguing either.
"...Fuu?"
"Yes?"
"Why did you... uh, make up that excuse for Raijin...?" ...Hm...
"I... just didn't want him... to think that you hurt me... purposely, thats all..."
-Perfect-
~Seifer
God, I didn't mean to hurt you... I was just... Aw, Fuck! I hate myself so much sometimes... Just when she said I was hurting her... I wanted to show her that I wasn't, and could hurt her much more if I had meant to hurt her... And I so, I hurt her...
"Fujin... please..."
"...I-I'm gonna go to bed..."
"Fuu..."
"..." She left. I kept seeing her face when I hurt her... She looked so innocent, and shocked... maybe even afraid. Dammit! ...Fucking... Fucking... Fucking ME! The front door opened and in walked Raijin. Wow, its one already? I checked my watch. Yep.
"H-hey, Seifa."
"Mhm..."
"Yo, is everything alright?"
"Y-yeah..."
"Where's Fujin?"
"Sleeping."
"Oh... her neck bothering her...?"
"Not really." Yeah, her *wrist* is though...
"Oh, okay."
"So... um, you ready for fatherhood?" I ask, trying not to let my depressed and upset mood catch on.
"Not really, but, I will be, ya know?!"
"Mm, so, have long have ya known her? A week or so? And you are already gettin' married and having children."
"Yeah, yeah. But Toni is just so loveable..." ...Then it struck me, like being slapped across the face. That's why Fujin was so upset. I had been flirting with her... without even knowing it. Right in front of Fujin... Dammit! Well, I wasn't flirting. She was flirting with me... but still I flirted back...
"Yo, Seifa, you okay?"
"Y-yeah, I'm fine..."
"You don't seem it... and why is Fujin in bed? She feeling okay? I don't want her to be sick or nothin'." ...Heheh. Always so caring for Fujin... You wouldn't even hurt her... and I did...
"...She was tired, okay?! Dammit!" I walked into my bedroom. Fifteen minutes later, I walked back out. Raijin must have gone to bed... Oh wait... Voices. I stepped up to the door of their room.
"What happened to your wrist, Fujin?!"
"NOTHING. YOU. SEE WRONG." Fuu...
"No! That thing is bruised up like... uh, I dunno, but it looks pretty bad!"
"WINDOW. TRIED CLOSE. FELL ON WRIST."
"Really?! Ouch, ya know?! You want some ice?"
"NEGATIVE. WILL BE FINE. NOW, YOU SLEEP."
"Uh, okay, ya know?!" There was silence. I was so upset at myself. I never thought I'd hate myself so much... I looked down at my hand. There was a bruise and a cut on my knuckles. Well worth it, if I hurt Fujin, I deserved to be hurt more... I considered putting another hole in the wall, but, that'd just be more to pay for...
~~~
I didn't sleep that night, I just sat at Fujin's window seat and stared out the window. Raijin left in the morning, and Fujin remained in her bedroom. Fujin, please... just listen... come out. I finally just walked over to the door and knocked.
"Um, ...hold on..." Hold on? Two minutes later, I hear a faint "Come in." I enter.
"Uh, Fujin...?" She walks over to me.
"Yeah?" She crosses her arms, and looks toward the ground.
"I'm sorry for flirting with Toni... I'm sorry for hurting you... I'm sorry for the thing with Squall... Dammit, Fuu, I'm just so sorry!"
"...You have the right to flirt with anyone you want, its not like... like... um, we're married or anything... With Squall, that wasn't your fault... And.. when you hurt me... I... I..." She takes a deep breath. "I don't understand why you... would..." She took a really long pause. I wanted to put my hand on her shoulder... But I held back.
"Why you would hurt me... but... I'm, ...I'm sure you have your... um, r- reasons..." She finished. How could she say something like that? How could she be so... forgiving?
"No... Fuu... I didn't mean to... I wasn't thinking clearly... God dammit. I'd never hurt you again. I swear..."
"I, I know..." I grabbed her lower arm and examined her wrist. It had huge, bluish-yellow bruises on either side.
"I'm so sorry..." I say, resting it back by her side.
"N-no, it's alright." She seemed nervous. She was stuttering an awful lot. All my fault... It's all my fault. Everything that had hurt her for the last week was MY fault. I'd never hurt Fujin, but I did...hurt her. Or caused her to be hurt... I felt dizzy. Okay, I'm okay... I am... my fault. All MY fault. The dizziness worsened, and I grabbed the door knob behind me to steady myself. Fujin walked toward me, concerned.
"Are you... a-alright?!" She grabbed me, and brought me over to sit on her bed.
"Thanks..." I said, still feeling a little dizzy.
"Mm... you want some aspirin or something? Y-you don't look all that well..."
"No, I'll be fine."
"You sure...?"
"Uh huh." She sat beside me, and just looked at me. What is it? She brush some of my hair off of my forehead, and this affectionate act showed me that she forgave me, and I hugged her. I made you cry... Maybe you can forigve me... but I know that I can never forgive myself.
"S-Seifer... can you... tell me... why?" She asked into my shoulder.
"It was an accident. I wasn't thinking... I just got annoyed when you said that I was hurting you... I wanted to show you that I wasn't, and could hurt you much more if I had meant to hurt you... And I know I was hurting you in the first place, but I didn't then, I just wanted you to tell me what was wrong... and why you were upset at me... but I know what it was now... I'm so sorry..."
"Seifer... It's okay... I forgive you..."
"...N-no... I don't even forgive myself... God, Fuu..."
"...Please, just forget about it... I get hurt all the time..."
"But *I* hurt you this time! Not just some half-assed enemy!" Maybe I am just a half-assed enemy...
"Which just makes you easier to forgive." You're so perfect... Everything you say... is just so befitting.
"...Fujin."
"It's alright... A couple of bruises aren't anything compared to what say, um, Squall did to me..."
"But that's my fault too!"
"It is NOT!"
"Yeah, it is, you know that." We seperated from our embrace.
"Seifer, you need to stop blaming yourself for everything that happens to me! ...That's why you're so sick with this stress thing... just, please..."
"...Yeah..." I didn't agree with her, but I didn't feel like arguing either.
"...Fuu?"
"Yes?"
"Why did you... uh, make up that excuse for Raijin...?" ...Hm...
"I... just didn't want him... to think that you hurt me... purposely, thats all..."