^No... I forgave Seifer... I just... just... had been hurt both physically and emotionally by the two people who I trusted...^
-Ashamed-
~Fujin
Is that why though? Or did I just not want to tell him... because I was ashamed? Ashamed of trusting Seifer... And he hurt me... Ashamed of my trusting the wrong people... again!? No... I forgave Seifer... I just... just... had been hurt both physically and emotionally by the two people who I trusted... Maybe I should just stop trusting people. But, I still trusted Seifer... for some reason. A reason I couldn't understand.
"...Fujin..."
"Please, let's just move on, okay?"
"Fuu..." I stood up, running my fingers down the grey threads of my stitches, because they hurt, and a gentle touch usually worked better than aspirin.
"...That's it... Its over... We won't talk about this anymore..."
"But, Fujin, I hurt you."
"So what?! Its not important, I really don't want to talk about it!"
"Alright..." He stood up, and we walked out of the room. My neck was really starting to hurt, and I just went into the bathroom to get some aspirin, even thought it didn't work too well. I reached in the cabinet and pulled out the container. Empty.
"...Dammit." I muttered tossing the empty bottle in the trash.
"Seifer, I'll be right back." I said.
"Where are you going?"
"...To, um, pick up some aspirin."
"We don't have anymore?"
"Nope..."
"I'll get it."
"No, thats alright, I've got it." He stood in the doorway, staring at my neck.
"It looks red. I'll go up and get it."
"Seifer."
"Bye." He left, and I sat on the sofa, waiting. My neck began to throb in pain, and I crouched over.
"Ugh, dammit!" I ran my finger's up and down my neck, trying to coax the nerves to stop. I usually handle pain easily... but... this was just too much at once. Not to mention my leg, which hurt whenever I applied pressure. I didn't complain to Seifer or Raijin, though. I didn't want pity, just ASPIRIN! Damn... My neck really hurts... I stood up and walked into the bathroom, where I looked at it the mirror. It was rather red looking. Maybe it was infected. I guess the old baffoon of a doctor knew what he was talking about. I glanced at my wrist. Seifer... I wish you'd hurry back. I remembered looking right into his eyes while he tightened his grasp on my wrist. He looked angry and annoyed... Maybe... you don't love me... Just maybe. There's a knock at the door, and I walk over and open it.
"Um, hello, I'm Chris from Balamb Heating... You haven't paid the heat bill this month. Do you have the money now?"
"...HOLD. CAN CHECK."
"Alright... By the way, its 1000 gil." ...No... We don't have it. I walk into the house anyway, and walk into Seifer's room. Maybe he has it lying around.... No.
"DON'T HAVE." I say, returning to the door. "CAN COME TOMMAROW?"
"...Well, I'm gonna have to turn off your heating."
"BUT! IS MIDDLE OF DECEMBER."
"...Sorry."
"PLEASE?"
"No, mam. I apologize." ...Insensitve bastard.
"FINE." I shut the door and walked back into the bathroom. Slowly, the house got real cold.
"Seifer..." I say aloud, looking at my neck.
"Yes?" Oh, he's here...
"Oh, um, hi..." He handed me the bottle, and I took my aspirin. He watched me. Why?
"Ya think maybe it's infected?"
"...Mm... maybe."
"You should go lie down."
"Yeah, I guess." I walked into my room, and turned on the light, looking around. I layed down on the bed, and fell asleep.
When I woke up, I heard banging. Someone was in my room.
"Hey, assholes, don't make so much noise, someone is sleeping here."
"We're just doing our job, man. Don't be so pushy."
"Yeah, still, do your job well, or I'll hire other men." I sat up and looked around. People were moving Raijin's things out. I caught Seifer's glance, and he motioned me to come out of the room. I followed him out, and he looked at me.
"How's the neck?"
"It still hurts, but the pillows help, you know?"
"Mm."
"So, they are moving Raijin's things out already?"
"Yeah... I'm gonna miss him."
"Mhm..." I say.
"Hey, beautiful, you're gonna need to step aside, that is, unless you want to do something Saturday..." Said a voice from behind me. I almost turned around and kicked him, but instead Seifer stepped in front of me.
"...Hey, you horny bastard, your job is to move the fucking furniture, not to admire someone *else's* lady, ya got that?!" Seifer said, scowling. The mover nodded, fear in his eyes, and I stepped aside. The mattress was moved out of the house... His lady... that's what he refered to me as... Hm... I've never been refered to as a "lady" before... I smile inwardly and turn back to Seifer.
"Uh, ya wanna go rest in my room? It's cold, I know... but, its better than being around them..." He motioned to a group of movers trying to get a base-mattress out of the room.
"Y-yeah." I walked into his room, and he said he was going to keep an eye on the movers. It was cold, as usual. I wonder why... I glance at the wall. A hole in the wall... Seifer... I walk over to it, and run my fingers over it. Then I see them. His gloves. He must've tossed them off before punching in the wall... Why? So... he could get hurt too? Was he that sorry? Oh, Seifer... I lay back on the bed. I can't sleep all too well, so I just lay there, taking in the smell of his bed.
"Hey, they're almost done." Seifer enters the room.
"Good..."
"Wow, I made quite a mess over there."
"Yeah, you did..."
"Damn, I'll have to fix that..."
"Hehe, good luck with that..."
"Are you sayin' I can't be a handy-man?"
"No, not at all..."
"Okay then. I'll fix it myself!" Oh god...
He exits the room to get what he needs, and I sigh. I'm not ashamed for trusting you anymore... No. I'm ashamed for not trusting you. It was an accident, an honest mistake. You would never hurt me... I believe you now. I don't know what did it. What made me believe that you love me... but, I get this feeling now that you do! ...Do care... Do love...
"Hey, Fujin!"
"Hmm?"
"...Do we have any tools...?"
"Um, I think Raijin keeps some under the sink..."
"Thanks." He comes back in with a box, and walks over to the wall, and begins to try and fix it.
"...Raijin wants the sofa." He says.
"Why?"
"Toni doesn't have one, and they need it."
"...Oh..."
"I said he could have it."
"Seifer!"
"Well... I mean, I couldn't have them going off and buyin' one. They've got a kid to take of." Hm, you almost sound caring.
"Yeah..."
"I'm gonna miss the old guy." He says, applying some sort of putty to the wall.
"Yeah..."
"He only has one more night in this house... It was fun, while it lasted."
"He's moving so soon?"
"Yeah, he sleeps here tonight, and leaves in the morning..."
"Mhm..."
"Hey, Fuu, it's really cold in here. Can ya go turn up the heat?" I almost get up. The heat... Dammit! I forgot to tell you...
"...No."
"What? Your neck hurt that bad?"
"No..."
"What's wrong...?"
"Seifer... um, the heat... the heat got turned off."
"What?!"
"Y-yeah, we didn't pay the bill."
"Shit..." He finishes up the wall and sighs.
"Well, I told ya I could do it!"
"...Yep!" I smile, and he walks out of the room, probably to go call the heating company.
~~~
Later that night, after Raijin had already come home and gone to bed, Seifer and I were sitting at the kitchen table talking. He was wearing his trenchcoat, and you can't blame him for it, because the house was so cold. I just had on a pair of baggy black pants and a sleeveless shirt.
"You should really get a sweatshirt on. You must be freezing."
"I'm fine..."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"I have to work tommarow."
"Seifer! You aren't well enough yet. You aren't supposed to go back for another week... And you get sick pension."
"...Yeah, but we need the extra money... Damn, I finally thought we had caught up..."
"I'll work. My neck feels much better."
"...Or we could always just let the butcher store his meat in my room and charge him. I mean, damn, there are like, sub-zero temperatures in there." I laughed, and smiled at him.
"Well, you know, we can just figure it out in the morning..."
"Yeah, its late." I stood up and walked toward my room.
"See you in the A.M." He called after me, walking into his room.
"Yeah..." I walked into my room, and went into my closet to find a sweatshirt. I had no sweatshirts. Oh well... I walked over to my bed, and lifted the covers. About to climb in, I heard a cough. Raijin. In my bed. I would've kicked him out, had it not been his last night to sleep. So, grabbing a blanket from the closet, I layed on the floor. But, five minutes later, I found it was too cold, and uncomfortable for my neck, yet, I wasn't sleepy enough to go sleep with Seifer... Hehe. Sighing, I went to go mess with the thermostat. Maybe there was a little heat left.
I screwed with it for about five minutes.
"God damned thing!" I said, pounding on the plastic circle. The door next to me opened.
"What's wrong?" Seifer emerged, scratching the back of his head. He had on a black t-shirt, and rather large dark blue sweatpants.
"I, um, stubbed my toe." I lied.
"Why aren't you in bed?"
"I was, um, gonna go... to the bathroom."
"You're headed the wrong way."
"I got lost."
"In your own house?"
-Ashamed-
~Fujin
Is that why though? Or did I just not want to tell him... because I was ashamed? Ashamed of trusting Seifer... And he hurt me... Ashamed of my trusting the wrong people... again!? No... I forgave Seifer... I just... just... had been hurt both physically and emotionally by the two people who I trusted... Maybe I should just stop trusting people. But, I still trusted Seifer... for some reason. A reason I couldn't understand.
"...Fujin..."
"Please, let's just move on, okay?"
"Fuu..." I stood up, running my fingers down the grey threads of my stitches, because they hurt, and a gentle touch usually worked better than aspirin.
"...That's it... Its over... We won't talk about this anymore..."
"But, Fujin, I hurt you."
"So what?! Its not important, I really don't want to talk about it!"
"Alright..." He stood up, and we walked out of the room. My neck was really starting to hurt, and I just went into the bathroom to get some aspirin, even thought it didn't work too well. I reached in the cabinet and pulled out the container. Empty.
"...Dammit." I muttered tossing the empty bottle in the trash.
"Seifer, I'll be right back." I said.
"Where are you going?"
"...To, um, pick up some aspirin."
"We don't have anymore?"
"Nope..."
"I'll get it."
"No, thats alright, I've got it." He stood in the doorway, staring at my neck.
"It looks red. I'll go up and get it."
"Seifer."
"Bye." He left, and I sat on the sofa, waiting. My neck began to throb in pain, and I crouched over.
"Ugh, dammit!" I ran my finger's up and down my neck, trying to coax the nerves to stop. I usually handle pain easily... but... this was just too much at once. Not to mention my leg, which hurt whenever I applied pressure. I didn't complain to Seifer or Raijin, though. I didn't want pity, just ASPIRIN! Damn... My neck really hurts... I stood up and walked into the bathroom, where I looked at it the mirror. It was rather red looking. Maybe it was infected. I guess the old baffoon of a doctor knew what he was talking about. I glanced at my wrist. Seifer... I wish you'd hurry back. I remembered looking right into his eyes while he tightened his grasp on my wrist. He looked angry and annoyed... Maybe... you don't love me... Just maybe. There's a knock at the door, and I walk over and open it.
"Um, hello, I'm Chris from Balamb Heating... You haven't paid the heat bill this month. Do you have the money now?"
"...HOLD. CAN CHECK."
"Alright... By the way, its 1000 gil." ...No... We don't have it. I walk into the house anyway, and walk into Seifer's room. Maybe he has it lying around.... No.
"DON'T HAVE." I say, returning to the door. "CAN COME TOMMAROW?"
"...Well, I'm gonna have to turn off your heating."
"BUT! IS MIDDLE OF DECEMBER."
"...Sorry."
"PLEASE?"
"No, mam. I apologize." ...Insensitve bastard.
"FINE." I shut the door and walked back into the bathroom. Slowly, the house got real cold.
"Seifer..." I say aloud, looking at my neck.
"Yes?" Oh, he's here...
"Oh, um, hi..." He handed me the bottle, and I took my aspirin. He watched me. Why?
"Ya think maybe it's infected?"
"...Mm... maybe."
"You should go lie down."
"Yeah, I guess." I walked into my room, and turned on the light, looking around. I layed down on the bed, and fell asleep.
When I woke up, I heard banging. Someone was in my room.
"Hey, assholes, don't make so much noise, someone is sleeping here."
"We're just doing our job, man. Don't be so pushy."
"Yeah, still, do your job well, or I'll hire other men." I sat up and looked around. People were moving Raijin's things out. I caught Seifer's glance, and he motioned me to come out of the room. I followed him out, and he looked at me.
"How's the neck?"
"It still hurts, but the pillows help, you know?"
"Mm."
"So, they are moving Raijin's things out already?"
"Yeah... I'm gonna miss him."
"Mhm..." I say.
"Hey, beautiful, you're gonna need to step aside, that is, unless you want to do something Saturday..." Said a voice from behind me. I almost turned around and kicked him, but instead Seifer stepped in front of me.
"...Hey, you horny bastard, your job is to move the fucking furniture, not to admire someone *else's* lady, ya got that?!" Seifer said, scowling. The mover nodded, fear in his eyes, and I stepped aside. The mattress was moved out of the house... His lady... that's what he refered to me as... Hm... I've never been refered to as a "lady" before... I smile inwardly and turn back to Seifer.
"Uh, ya wanna go rest in my room? It's cold, I know... but, its better than being around them..." He motioned to a group of movers trying to get a base-mattress out of the room.
"Y-yeah." I walked into his room, and he said he was going to keep an eye on the movers. It was cold, as usual. I wonder why... I glance at the wall. A hole in the wall... Seifer... I walk over to it, and run my fingers over it. Then I see them. His gloves. He must've tossed them off before punching in the wall... Why? So... he could get hurt too? Was he that sorry? Oh, Seifer... I lay back on the bed. I can't sleep all too well, so I just lay there, taking in the smell of his bed.
"Hey, they're almost done." Seifer enters the room.
"Good..."
"Wow, I made quite a mess over there."
"Yeah, you did..."
"Damn, I'll have to fix that..."
"Hehe, good luck with that..."
"Are you sayin' I can't be a handy-man?"
"No, not at all..."
"Okay then. I'll fix it myself!" Oh god...
He exits the room to get what he needs, and I sigh. I'm not ashamed for trusting you anymore... No. I'm ashamed for not trusting you. It was an accident, an honest mistake. You would never hurt me... I believe you now. I don't know what did it. What made me believe that you love me... but, I get this feeling now that you do! ...Do care... Do love...
"Hey, Fujin!"
"Hmm?"
"...Do we have any tools...?"
"Um, I think Raijin keeps some under the sink..."
"Thanks." He comes back in with a box, and walks over to the wall, and begins to try and fix it.
"...Raijin wants the sofa." He says.
"Why?"
"Toni doesn't have one, and they need it."
"...Oh..."
"I said he could have it."
"Seifer!"
"Well... I mean, I couldn't have them going off and buyin' one. They've got a kid to take of." Hm, you almost sound caring.
"Yeah..."
"I'm gonna miss the old guy." He says, applying some sort of putty to the wall.
"Yeah..."
"He only has one more night in this house... It was fun, while it lasted."
"He's moving so soon?"
"Yeah, he sleeps here tonight, and leaves in the morning..."
"Mhm..."
"Hey, Fuu, it's really cold in here. Can ya go turn up the heat?" I almost get up. The heat... Dammit! I forgot to tell you...
"...No."
"What? Your neck hurt that bad?"
"No..."
"What's wrong...?"
"Seifer... um, the heat... the heat got turned off."
"What?!"
"Y-yeah, we didn't pay the bill."
"Shit..." He finishes up the wall and sighs.
"Well, I told ya I could do it!"
"...Yep!" I smile, and he walks out of the room, probably to go call the heating company.
~~~
Later that night, after Raijin had already come home and gone to bed, Seifer and I were sitting at the kitchen table talking. He was wearing his trenchcoat, and you can't blame him for it, because the house was so cold. I just had on a pair of baggy black pants and a sleeveless shirt.
"You should really get a sweatshirt on. You must be freezing."
"I'm fine..."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"I have to work tommarow."
"Seifer! You aren't well enough yet. You aren't supposed to go back for another week... And you get sick pension."
"...Yeah, but we need the extra money... Damn, I finally thought we had caught up..."
"I'll work. My neck feels much better."
"...Or we could always just let the butcher store his meat in my room and charge him. I mean, damn, there are like, sub-zero temperatures in there." I laughed, and smiled at him.
"Well, you know, we can just figure it out in the morning..."
"Yeah, its late." I stood up and walked toward my room.
"See you in the A.M." He called after me, walking into his room.
"Yeah..." I walked into my room, and went into my closet to find a sweatshirt. I had no sweatshirts. Oh well... I walked over to my bed, and lifted the covers. About to climb in, I heard a cough. Raijin. In my bed. I would've kicked him out, had it not been his last night to sleep. So, grabbing a blanket from the closet, I layed on the floor. But, five minutes later, I found it was too cold, and uncomfortable for my neck, yet, I wasn't sleepy enough to go sleep with Seifer... Hehe. Sighing, I went to go mess with the thermostat. Maybe there was a little heat left.
I screwed with it for about five minutes.
"God damned thing!" I said, pounding on the plastic circle. The door next to me opened.
"What's wrong?" Seifer emerged, scratching the back of his head. He had on a black t-shirt, and rather large dark blue sweatpants.
"I, um, stubbed my toe." I lied.
"Why aren't you in bed?"
"I was, um, gonna go... to the bathroom."
"You're headed the wrong way."
"I got lost."
"In your own house?"