Final Fantasy 7: The Soaps. (AKA Cid's bad dream.) Part One of Four
By Edge of De Wall
Disclaimer/Author's Note: This is one of the styles of writing I use usually only for
humor fan fiches. Except this to be bad, this is one of my first goose at fan
fiction. I do not own any of the characters in Squaresoft's Final Fanasty 7 (VII)
so don't sue me because I don't own them. My spelling sucks so deal with it and don't
bitch about! Thank you. Enjoy*or not*
Shera is watching Soaps when Id walks in.
Cid: Hi Honey! Get me some fuckin' tea!!
Shera: Oh hi Cid your home early!!
TV Man: I love you!
TV Woman: But I love your father and we are going to get married ! But before
I walk down the aisle there's something I must tell you! I'm pregnant
and the child is yours!!
Cid: What the hell?!
Shera: It's called a soap opera! Sit down and watch it!
You might like it!
Cid sits down and within minutes he falls asleep while having a bad dream.
(Soap music plays)
This is Final Fantasy 7: The Soaps.
Tifa and Cloud are happily together in their apartment but
Tifa has a secret that Cloud dose not know(Mainly cause it's a secret)
And so does Cloud!
Cloud: I have to go to the store Tiff! I'll be back in a couple of minutes.
Tifa: Okay honey!
(Cloud walks out of the apartment)
Tifa: Okay Cd the coast is clear!
(Cid comes out of the closet)
Cid: Are you sure Tifa?
Tifa: I am positive!
(They start kissing each! Then Cloud walks in!)
Cloud: Hey Tifa! I forgot my AAAAA!!!!
(He sees her in Cid's arms!)
(Soap Music Plays)
Cloud: Tifa how could you?! I love you!
Tifa: And I love Cid! But before we walk down the aisle I must tell you somthing!
I'm pregnant! And I don't know who the baby's father is!!
Edge(AKA your author of this piece of crap): Who is the father of Tifa's child?!
Is it Cloud?
Cloud: Maybe.
Is it Cid?
Cid: The hell would I know!
Is it Barret?
Barret: I hope not!
Is it Cait Sith?
Cait: I'm just a stuff toy!!
Is it Red XIII?
Red: I'm just a big cat ::trails off:: dog thing...
Is it Vincent?
Vincent: Then it would look like a clone!
Is it Hojo?
Hojo: No I am Sephy's father!
Is it the hunk man Sephy?
Sephy: But I'm gay! I'm not bi!
Edge: We will find out after we find out what Cloud is hiding!
Cloud: Then I have to tell you somthing Tifa! I'm going out with
Shera! And we are to be married!
(More Soap music plays)
(Then Aeris walks in)
Cloud: I've also been dating Aer...
Aeris: Your marring Shera! Then who really loves me!
Edge: Who really loves...
Vincent: Oh put a sock in it Edge.
Edge: Vincent, shut up; this is my fan fiction. Go write your own
Vincent::Puts a gun to Edge's head:: ...
Aeris: Oh Cloud how could you!!
Vincent: I love you Aeris!
Aeris: Oh, um shrew you Cloud! I'm going out with Vincent!
Tifa: Shrew that! Let's find out who the baby's father is!!
Aeris: After you tell Cid something else slut!
Tifa: Oh yeah! Cid, before we get married I have to tell you
something. I'm going out with Barret!
(More soap music plays)
Cid: You Slut!
Tifa: So what else is new.
Cid: Then your...
(Barret interups the moment and hits Edge)
Barret: Keep me out of this Edge!
Edge: Okey!
(Rewind)
Tifa: Oh yeah. Cid before we get married, I must tell you something,
I'm going out with Sephiroth!!
(Tons of soap music plays!)
Cid: You Slut!
Tifa: So! What else is new.
Cid: Then your going to marry whoever the father is to the child!
(Soap Music)
(Now the big moment! The test results are in)
Tifa: And the babies father is Cid!!
Cid: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!
(Soap music plays)
(Cid wakes up)
Cid: Nooo!!
Shera: Cid! Dukes of Hazzard is on!
Cid(Wakes up): Hell yeah!
(Shera goes into the Kitchen)
Shera: Oh, by the way Cid, who's Tifa?
(Cid has a strange look)
(Soap music plays)
The End
Didn't it suck!!!!!! Well send any flames or comments @
jamescameron_freak_model_101@hotmail.com