^I vowed that day, that the next person I would speak to would be Seifer.^
-Frozen-
Around three years had passed. I remained absolutely silent since that day. Imagine, not saying one word, in three years... The whole house was cold. I slept in Seifer's room every night, trying to smell him off of his clothes. But the smell of leather and blood had faded greatly. Seifer was in my every thought, everyday, but there was that fear... that he would have fallen out of love with me... Did it matter? Was he even alive? No matter how many angry and threatening emails and faxes I sent the prison, they wouldn't give me any information on him, even if he was still in the prison. Would he even come home when he came out? Or would someone, like Rinoa, have done something to lengthen his sentence...? It had been exactly three years to the day that Seifer left me... At the end of the day, at one AM, it became clear to me that he wasn't coming back. Ever. Ten years... I can't wait that long! That asinine bitch must have done something... My Seifer... I vowed that day, that the next person I would speak to would be Seifer. It looked now that I'd never speak again. I had the urge to talk. The urge for some sort of sound to come out. The sudden wanting to hear my own voice... But that need was nothing in comparison to hearing Seifer's voice... to seeing Seifer... Sighing, I went into my room. It was no different from the rest of the house. The whole place had been taken over with the coldness of Seifer's room. But... me... my heart, and all of my feelings, had reached their freezing point. I exited my room after getting dressed in a tight t-shirt and baggy pants, and went into Seifer's room. I sat on his bed, and polished his Hyperion, which had become a nightly ritual, to keep his prized possession in shape until he came back. *If* he came back. I had a really hard time sleeping. I kept thinking about him, and how the chances of me seeing him again were getting closer to "none" everyday.
I didn't understand... how someone could be so *despondent*, like me.
It was *foolish* of me, to let him go.
I was an *ignorant* bitch, who didn't take responsibility for anything she did.
I had a *fragile* heart. I thought it would break... but instead it just froze over.
I had just wasted three years, being *dazed. *
I had to get *involved* with Seifer... why? Maybe he would not have been in jail now... had I not expressed my feelings.
I was so damned *tired* of being alone...
I just ended up getting *hurt* and hurting Seifer.
Seifer may have felt dizzy for a long time... because of me, but for the last three years, it's been a long *dizzy* spell.
I feel so *guilty* for what happened, it makes my head spin.
I wonder what would have happened, had I just been *honest* from the start...
Maybe if I die, things will get *better...*
I'm just *concerned* for his well being now... Not for my own.
He's so *important* to me... and I let him go!
Seifer... perhaps you feel *betrayed* by me... I let you take my blame...
I know now... that we can never go back... to when things were *perfect. *
I feel so *ashamed, * dammit, I deserve to die!
If only I had stayed *uptight...*
I want to be *healed...* But only you, Seifer, can heal me...
You said we'd have *eternal* love, but look at what I have done...!
I'll never have a *new* love Seifer...
Will I ever be *forgiven? *
The last few years has been like being *drunk* without alcohol.
Will my life remain *secretive* forever... or will you come back?
God dammit, I feel so *weak* without you...
Will I remain *silent* forever?
I need to be *punished. *
With that last thought in my head, I fall asleep. I wake up at three AM, and look around. No Seifer. Dammit! I walk into the bathroom, not fully conscience of what I'm about to do. Sleeping pills. No one will notice I'm dead. Raijin, I haven't heard from Raijin... Seifer, your in jail... So, lets see. That leaves only me. No. I can't do this, what if he comes home... I walk back into his bedroom. Sleep. Sleep this out.
I wake up the next morning. No Seifer. I don't even bother to go to work. I make the coffee back there now; I'm no longer a waitress, since I refuse to speak. Three years... such a long time, without you, Seifer. I don't think I can stand it anymore. I'm going to have to take my life. My heart is frozen over, and I've been alone, and silent for the last three years. I can't live like that anymore. No more! No. I can't take it. No. Maybe I'll just sleep for the rest of my life... I walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror. My silver hair is longer now... I haven't bothered to cut it, so it reaches the past my shoulders. I don't wear my eye patch anymore either. No one is going to see me anyway... There's something about my longer, silver hair that I like, for some reason. It's either that, or I'm too lazy to cut it.
I take a shower, and then just fall asleep on the sofa. I wake up at around 7pm, and go into the kitchen, and eat a piece of bread. Nice diet, very healthy. I glance at the coffee maker, and feel sad, remembering all of the times Seifer attempted to make coffee... Seifer... I was lonely... So very lonely. I just wanted to feel his strong arms around me. I wanted to feel secure, dammit! It starts to rain. It never snows in Balamb town during the winter... Always rains. Freezing rain. I walk into Seifer's room, and just stand there, staring at the wall where you could see where he did an awful job puttying up the hole he made. Seifer. I want to say your name. I want to hear you say my name. Seifer! Not able to stand in his room anymore, I walk out, and stop in the middle of the living room, in front of the front door, because I hear a noise. My heart starts to pound. The doorknob is fumbled with. I stand there, blankly. I feel so many emotions. What if it's Seifer? I can't do anything I'm frozen there. My breathing becomes ragged as the door opens. I wait anxiously for a vision of who it is. There he is. Seifer. My Seifer Almasy. We just stand there, staring at each other. No one says or does anything. Seifer... you're here. Right in front of me. He looks older... His hair is cut roughly... Why can't I move? I try and say his name, but nothing comes out.
"F-Fujin." He finally stammers.
"Seifer..." I say. My voice has changed. It's softer now. I walk toward him, and he holds me. My Seifer... You're back...
~Jump.to.Seifer.
I'm holding her. God, I needed to hold her for so long. All of those awful long years in prison... Fuu... She looks so different. She's so painfully thin, and her hair is longer. Her voice is softer. She feels so fragile...
"I was so afraid you wouldn't be here... Fuu..."
"I was so afraid you would never come back..."
"I couldn't leave you forever... Hell, Fujin, I've missed so much... of you... You've changed..."
"No, Seifer... I haven't said a word... I haven't spoken since that day when you left me... For those last three years... I've lived on bread, and coffee. Nothing felt right, without you here... I was all alone, Seifer... I love you..." She didn't let go of me, she just held me tightly, as if she were holding me for the last time. Like there was no tomorrow. I ran my fingers through her long, soft, hair, and smiled, happy that she was in my arms again.
"I'm sorry, Fujin..."
"N-no, Seifer... It's not your fault... You made the right choice..." I kissed her. Her mouth was cold. Come to think about it, she was cold. The whole house was cold.
"Is the heat on?" I ask, finally.
"Mm, the whole house is cold... Just like your room..." She buried her face in my shoulder.
"Fujin, I'm so sorry... So, so sorry..."
"...No..." She said.
"I'm never going to leave you again. I mean it. No matter what happens."
"Three years..." She cries into my shoulder.
"I'm sorry..."
"Three YEARS!" She cries out, looking up at me.
"Fuu..."
"Seifer... I didn't last... I couldn't. Look at me!" Fujin, I know... please...
"Fujin... I couldn't let him die... for something I caused..."
"Lloyd doesn't matter... you do..."
"But, Fuu..."
"SEIFER! Stop it...! Just don't leave me... EVER again..."
"I won't. Fujin, I won't." She buries her face in my chest.
"Three...fucking... years..." She's crying. Fujin, I never meant to make you cry... Three years... I'm so sorry...
"Fujin... I love you... and I'm so sorry... I don't know if you'll ever forgive me... But..."
"I forgive you, Seifer. You are automatically forgiven for anything you do... But..."
"I want you to marry me." I say finally. She looks up, ceasing to cry.
"Seifer..."
"Please?"
"Y-yes, of course..." I kiss her. I know I will never be able to make up for the three years I've lost with her, but this is the best I can do...
"Seifer... how did you get out early...?"
"Well, they needed room in the prison, so they were gonna just flat out execute me. But some solider listened to my story... with only a few dramatizations on my part, and he just let me go..."
"Seifer..." I feel so guilty for what I've done to her. Ruined her. Three years of her... Fujin... Is it possible, that there maybe still a chance to live happily ever after... Like most stories... with a Knight, and his love... It sure took awhile, but perhaps... there is still a chance of some happiness, and warmth, that I can put back into her life.
~Jump.to.Fujin.
So he's back... I don't care how he got back, or why... I'll save that... But the only thing that is important to me is the fact that he's here with me, and will never leave me.
~And so, like most fairy tales with a Knight, and his love... Seifer and Fujin Almasy... They did live happily ever after... The only difference was... It was no fairy tale romance... But it was a *real* romance. The End.
-Frozen-
Around three years had passed. I remained absolutely silent since that day. Imagine, not saying one word, in three years... The whole house was cold. I slept in Seifer's room every night, trying to smell him off of his clothes. But the smell of leather and blood had faded greatly. Seifer was in my every thought, everyday, but there was that fear... that he would have fallen out of love with me... Did it matter? Was he even alive? No matter how many angry and threatening emails and faxes I sent the prison, they wouldn't give me any information on him, even if he was still in the prison. Would he even come home when he came out? Or would someone, like Rinoa, have done something to lengthen his sentence...? It had been exactly three years to the day that Seifer left me... At the end of the day, at one AM, it became clear to me that he wasn't coming back. Ever. Ten years... I can't wait that long! That asinine bitch must have done something... My Seifer... I vowed that day, that the next person I would speak to would be Seifer. It looked now that I'd never speak again. I had the urge to talk. The urge for some sort of sound to come out. The sudden wanting to hear my own voice... But that need was nothing in comparison to hearing Seifer's voice... to seeing Seifer... Sighing, I went into my room. It was no different from the rest of the house. The whole place had been taken over with the coldness of Seifer's room. But... me... my heart, and all of my feelings, had reached their freezing point. I exited my room after getting dressed in a tight t-shirt and baggy pants, and went into Seifer's room. I sat on his bed, and polished his Hyperion, which had become a nightly ritual, to keep his prized possession in shape until he came back. *If* he came back. I had a really hard time sleeping. I kept thinking about him, and how the chances of me seeing him again were getting closer to "none" everyday.
I didn't understand... how someone could be so *despondent*, like me.
It was *foolish* of me, to let him go.
I was an *ignorant* bitch, who didn't take responsibility for anything she did.
I had a *fragile* heart. I thought it would break... but instead it just froze over.
I had just wasted three years, being *dazed. *
I had to get *involved* with Seifer... why? Maybe he would not have been in jail now... had I not expressed my feelings.
I was so damned *tired* of being alone...
I just ended up getting *hurt* and hurting Seifer.
Seifer may have felt dizzy for a long time... because of me, but for the last three years, it's been a long *dizzy* spell.
I feel so *guilty* for what happened, it makes my head spin.
I wonder what would have happened, had I just been *honest* from the start...
Maybe if I die, things will get *better...*
I'm just *concerned* for his well being now... Not for my own.
He's so *important* to me... and I let him go!
Seifer... perhaps you feel *betrayed* by me... I let you take my blame...
I know now... that we can never go back... to when things were *perfect. *
I feel so *ashamed, * dammit, I deserve to die!
If only I had stayed *uptight...*
I want to be *healed...* But only you, Seifer, can heal me...
You said we'd have *eternal* love, but look at what I have done...!
I'll never have a *new* love Seifer...
Will I ever be *forgiven? *
The last few years has been like being *drunk* without alcohol.
Will my life remain *secretive* forever... or will you come back?
God dammit, I feel so *weak* without you...
Will I remain *silent* forever?
I need to be *punished. *
With that last thought in my head, I fall asleep. I wake up at three AM, and look around. No Seifer. Dammit! I walk into the bathroom, not fully conscience of what I'm about to do. Sleeping pills. No one will notice I'm dead. Raijin, I haven't heard from Raijin... Seifer, your in jail... So, lets see. That leaves only me. No. I can't do this, what if he comes home... I walk back into his bedroom. Sleep. Sleep this out.
I wake up the next morning. No Seifer. I don't even bother to go to work. I make the coffee back there now; I'm no longer a waitress, since I refuse to speak. Three years... such a long time, without you, Seifer. I don't think I can stand it anymore. I'm going to have to take my life. My heart is frozen over, and I've been alone, and silent for the last three years. I can't live like that anymore. No more! No. I can't take it. No. Maybe I'll just sleep for the rest of my life... I walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror. My silver hair is longer now... I haven't bothered to cut it, so it reaches the past my shoulders. I don't wear my eye patch anymore either. No one is going to see me anyway... There's something about my longer, silver hair that I like, for some reason. It's either that, or I'm too lazy to cut it.
I take a shower, and then just fall asleep on the sofa. I wake up at around 7pm, and go into the kitchen, and eat a piece of bread. Nice diet, very healthy. I glance at the coffee maker, and feel sad, remembering all of the times Seifer attempted to make coffee... Seifer... I was lonely... So very lonely. I just wanted to feel his strong arms around me. I wanted to feel secure, dammit! It starts to rain. It never snows in Balamb town during the winter... Always rains. Freezing rain. I walk into Seifer's room, and just stand there, staring at the wall where you could see where he did an awful job puttying up the hole he made. Seifer. I want to say your name. I want to hear you say my name. Seifer! Not able to stand in his room anymore, I walk out, and stop in the middle of the living room, in front of the front door, because I hear a noise. My heart starts to pound. The doorknob is fumbled with. I stand there, blankly. I feel so many emotions. What if it's Seifer? I can't do anything I'm frozen there. My breathing becomes ragged as the door opens. I wait anxiously for a vision of who it is. There he is. Seifer. My Seifer Almasy. We just stand there, staring at each other. No one says or does anything. Seifer... you're here. Right in front of me. He looks older... His hair is cut roughly... Why can't I move? I try and say his name, but nothing comes out.
"F-Fujin." He finally stammers.
"Seifer..." I say. My voice has changed. It's softer now. I walk toward him, and he holds me. My Seifer... You're back...
~Jump.to.Seifer.
I'm holding her. God, I needed to hold her for so long. All of those awful long years in prison... Fuu... She looks so different. She's so painfully thin, and her hair is longer. Her voice is softer. She feels so fragile...
"I was so afraid you wouldn't be here... Fuu..."
"I was so afraid you would never come back..."
"I couldn't leave you forever... Hell, Fujin, I've missed so much... of you... You've changed..."
"No, Seifer... I haven't said a word... I haven't spoken since that day when you left me... For those last three years... I've lived on bread, and coffee. Nothing felt right, without you here... I was all alone, Seifer... I love you..." She didn't let go of me, she just held me tightly, as if she were holding me for the last time. Like there was no tomorrow. I ran my fingers through her long, soft, hair, and smiled, happy that she was in my arms again.
"I'm sorry, Fujin..."
"N-no, Seifer... It's not your fault... You made the right choice..." I kissed her. Her mouth was cold. Come to think about it, she was cold. The whole house was cold.
"Is the heat on?" I ask, finally.
"Mm, the whole house is cold... Just like your room..." She buried her face in my shoulder.
"Fujin, I'm so sorry... So, so sorry..."
"...No..." She said.
"I'm never going to leave you again. I mean it. No matter what happens."
"Three years..." She cries into my shoulder.
"I'm sorry..."
"Three YEARS!" She cries out, looking up at me.
"Fuu..."
"Seifer... I didn't last... I couldn't. Look at me!" Fujin, I know... please...
"Fujin... I couldn't let him die... for something I caused..."
"Lloyd doesn't matter... you do..."
"But, Fuu..."
"SEIFER! Stop it...! Just don't leave me... EVER again..."
"I won't. Fujin, I won't." She buries her face in my chest.
"Three...fucking... years..." She's crying. Fujin, I never meant to make you cry... Three years... I'm so sorry...
"Fujin... I love you... and I'm so sorry... I don't know if you'll ever forgive me... But..."
"I forgive you, Seifer. You are automatically forgiven for anything you do... But..."
"I want you to marry me." I say finally. She looks up, ceasing to cry.
"Seifer..."
"Please?"
"Y-yes, of course..." I kiss her. I know I will never be able to make up for the three years I've lost with her, but this is the best I can do...
"Seifer... how did you get out early...?"
"Well, they needed room in the prison, so they were gonna just flat out execute me. But some solider listened to my story... with only a few dramatizations on my part, and he just let me go..."
"Seifer..." I feel so guilty for what I've done to her. Ruined her. Three years of her... Fujin... Is it possible, that there maybe still a chance to live happily ever after... Like most stories... with a Knight, and his love... It sure took awhile, but perhaps... there is still a chance of some happiness, and warmth, that I can put back into her life.
~Jump.to.Fujin.
So he's back... I don't care how he got back, or why... I'll save that... But the only thing that is important to me is the fact that he's here with me, and will never leave me.
~And so, like most fairy tales with a Knight, and his love... Seifer and Fujin Almasy... They did live happily ever after... The only difference was... It was no fairy tale romance... But it was a *real* romance. The End.