Oh this is like a teaser only a couple o pages
long…..Feed back will tell me whether I should continue or not…[hint hint]
Oh
I know fairy tales have been a popular thing lately, put this is like a all you
can eat buffet of them……but with my kinda slant…..
Hi
there this is me the author………… this fic is sooooo a PWP! i was trying to make
a 'funny' but ……….??? I don't know ………… if you like it pwease tell me cause I'm
thinking of entering it into a fic contest……………… REVIEWS are needed!!!! There
are a lot of added AN's so bare with me it's the way my sense of humour works!
R&R
O.O ~.~ O.O - Kawaii blink.
Warnings; I ramble / silly-ness /
OOC-ness / meanness to Gundam pilots/
AU-ness / Ralena ( does any one actually know how to spell her name??)
bashing / 1+2[but they are a couple] {not the same as 1x2~this is NOT a
citrus~} / Yaoi / other character bashing / VERY bad jokes / bad language / bad
spelling / the redesigning of Fairy tales/ language ………….the list goes on!
Disclaimer; I don't own GW…………. If I
did you would definitely know……it would be rated NC17 for starters………I own
NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't sue unless you want a photocopy of my
sisters zoology Degree! Or to pay my psyche bills…….. I'm married to Heero Yuy,
gundanium really exists, I live on L2, the year is AC199, Bigamy is legal, I'm
married to Duo Maxwell. I am batman! - shall I go on, or have I proved my
sanity?
Btw: I don't own the fairy tales or any of
the programs/books mentioned in this!
**Sniffle**
I know that loads of ppl have done fairy tales lately but I swear this is not
meant to be like any of them if it is, Gomen.
P.S
if I have any of the Japanese wrong tell me… ((I really do ramble and repeat my self))
'Playtime of the gods.'
Phase 1: the rapunzal
project!
Loki wandered through the Ethereal
Plane, bored. There was nothing to do. People were messing up there lives all
on their own. He moved from the ethereal to the celestial plane, and bumped
into *Konrannigami*. (- I'm trying to say the god of Chaos!)
"~Konnichi wa~, Konran, How are
you?" He said in a cheerful manner.
"**Konnichi wa**, Loki-san. I am
well. ** Arigato**."
"So what-cha up to?"
"**Taishita Koto wa nai.**" [nothing much]
"Wanna go have some fun?" Loki's eye's gleamed
with a mischievous spark.
"**Hai**." Said the younger god. "I guess we don't
have a choice in the matter!"
"This fic author will definitely not take 'no' for
an answer. She seems in an especially sadistic mood today." [Queue pre recorded
manic laughter.]
"If we must, we must! We might as well enjoy our
selves!"
Konran stood to his full5' height, and also got an
evil gleam in his eyes.
"Lets go
**tanoshimu**, ne?" [ have fun]
With that they were gone.
Heero continued to type on his laptop as his
roommate continued to chatter incessantly. His finger's stopped moving at a
comment the boy made.
"Please tell
me you did NOT just say that, Duo?!?!?!" Said Heero in a pleading voice.
"Nani? All I said was that a ~ certain fic author
~ could of at least given us a lemon in her last fic……"
Heero whimpered.
[A large crash is heard and a noisy dry ice
machine appears in the corner of the room.
The room begins to fill with the fake fog. A robed
figure appears amidst the fog, coughing and spluttering.]
Waving her hand, muttering, "Lousy, damn, bloody, cheap special effects!
I knew I should have gone for the fucking, multicoloured smoke machine!", the
author remembers why she is here. She waves her hand again this time annoyed.
"The son of a bitch turned off the scripting
again!……. FRED get your scaly ass down hear now and take this blasted thing
away!"
A rather large iguana appeared next to the dry ice
machine and wrapping a scaled tail around a handle, Fred disappeared. The
author started to straighten out her midnight blue robes,
"Now where
were we? Ah yes…" She said in an overly sweet voice.
"Duo-kun you were saying?"
There was a very audible gulp in the room.
Followed by a nervous laugh.
Duo got up
from his position on the bed and edged towards Heero, who was still seated at
his computer.
"I…I…i…
ah….. ummm……I can explain…" Duo stuttered.
"I'm sure you can, hone'."
"I was …just saying it's been awhile…. Since…you
know, me and Heero…." Duo was having some trouble with what to say. Heero
remained quiet, eyes bulging.
"Well Deal!" said the author snappishly. "It's not
as if the rest of us don't have to, you know."
"Well, well 'somebody's' a sexually frustrated
teen." Whispered Duo under his breath.
"Yea well so would you be if you haven't had any
in over….Shit! DUO I'll get you for this."
The author began pacing the room. While Duo slide
down a nearby wall into a foetal position cursing his big mouth. Heero just sat
there in shock, knowing full well that there was nothing he could do or say to
get them out of this particular predicament. The red haired author suddenly got
an evil gleam in her steel blue eyes, and a frightening smile clamed her
features.
"I know… Lets all take a trip to the wonderful
planet Bob!!"(1)
There was silence in the room as the author beamed
happily to herself, Duo passed out in shock and Heero started shaking
uncontrollably. Smoke stared filling the room again, but this time it seemed to
be natural, the three figures started to phase in and out of reality when the
Author stared shouting.
"Wait!!!! I DEMAND a bad Hollywood musical parody
song!! I got just the one for it, Boys if you please!" the author disappeared.
But Duo was suddenly wearing a blue and white dress and Heero looked like he
was made of metal, they linked arms as the music started. The walked in step
into the mist with identical looks of horror on their faces, as the words were
forced from their lips.
"We're off to see the Lizard, the wonderful Lizard
of Bob!!"……….[scene fade out with evil cackling in the background!]
Narrator:DUN dun dun D…U……N………….. To find out what happens next,
tune in next week!!!! …………………..(("blasted pre recorded bull shit!! Fred! take
that record off and get Charlie back here pronto. I WANT MY NARRATOR BACK!!!!!
And we've bloody well used that line before! WHAT where you thinking?? I'm TRYING to be ORIGINAL here!!!" The
author shouted and went off to cool down on the planet Bob.))
((a twirly whirly vortex appears)) Meanwhile
across town at the Wayne Mansion:
"Nope Only joking!!! It's the wonderful land of
Bob!"
Duo and
Heero found themselves, in a large cavern that was pitch black except for a
single lantern. The light emitted a steam of light upon what seemed like two
Thrones.
Upon those Thrones sat two beings.
"Welcome to our humble abode!" Said the silver
haired, golden eyed boy that sat on the right.
"Hai, **Kangei**
Please Take a seat." Said the other youth, a dark haired boy with
unnatural red eyes. (welcome)
Heero was pushed back by an invisible hand as a
chair materialised behind him. Duo on the other hand was lifted and dumped
unceremoniously on another chair.
Duo groaned as he recognised the two. The power of Shinigami, that lies
dormant in him, reading their powers.
"Loki and Konran! What do ye want with us? I
thought that Shelly ((ME me me me me me me me the author!!!)) was going to be
messing around with us today?"
"Well your right, but I must follow the script!"
said Loki.
" Ahem…''Oh He recognises us, how delightful. Well
my boy we're bored .so we've set the two of you a mission.''" Loki took a deep breath.
"Truth be told boys, Shelly Blackmailed us, and
I'm afraid we're going to have to go through with this or face her wraith! And
judging by the two of you I don't want to chance that!"
Heero was too worried about his koi's and his
safety to us his patented Death Glare.
Konran Took a deep breath and started talking.
" I guess I have to follow scripting too then… ''
We have been watching you two for quite some time. We had singled you out, from
billions of other people. We sensed
something different about ye from the start, but that doesn't matter ye are
here for our amusement.'' Yikes guys what did you do to make Shelly so angry,
cause what's to come ain't gonna be pretty!"
Duo and Heero sighed. "We know. We know." Muttered
Heero.
"I guess we're going to have to play along until
this is over." Mourned Duo.
" So What is this mission of yours?" said Duo.
"I'm afraid THAT would be telling! But we can say
it's nothing TOO dangerous!"
"Let the Games begin." Said Konran softly.
At that moment Heero and Duo's world went blank.
~~The Auther runs off to confer with her therapist
About her irrational fear of pink and why she wakes up screaming in the middle
of the night!~~
~~Author Returns diagnosed with a severe case of
Relenaphobia~~
"Hi to all the readers…..there are people reading
this right? I hope so…..well what do you think of it?? Am I Evil or just
insane??…….it doesn't matter!! Here is the fairy tale parody I promised!"
Duo sat alone in a tower. He Heaved a sigh as he
finished Braiding his 5 meter long hair. He straightened his lace shirt, fixed
his leather breaches, and put on a pair of soft leather boots. He took a good
look at himself in the full-length mirror. " I Don't care if she blackmailed
Them!! When I'm Shinigami again Loki and Konran DIE!!!"
"I'm Rapunzal For gods sake!!!"
Moments later Duo heard hoof beats and moved
toward the window, albeit with difficulty, to see who was coming. It was
'Prince' Heero. Atop his stunning white steed.
"Hn." Said Heero.
Duo blinked, a confused look on his face. Heero
spoke again.
"Hn…"
Duo quickly reached to a nearby table and picked
up a conveniently placed Dictionary. Named ' The Oxford Dictionary of Grunts
and Inarticulate sounds.'
//Ok found it .// Duo thought.
'Hn: adj. v. n. Duo my love, Let down your lustrous
locks!
//Who would of guessed?//
He then looked up the second 'Hn'.
"Oh, Prince Heero I feel the same way about
you!!!" He shouted as he threw his hair out the window.
"Hn"
"Sorry."
All at once an evil cackle is heard. Duo raises
his hands to his face and opens his mouth in horror.
"Oh. NO!!!" Duo over-exaggerated.
"Its my illegal guardian, the evil bitch Relena!!!"
"Hn?" Heero humphed from half way up the tower.
"No its not sposed' to be pronounced witch."
Relena
appeared and cut Duo's Hair just below his knee. But it was too late,
Heero had already entered the tower room.
"Hn!"
Relena looks blankly at Heero. Duo hands her the
Dictionary.
'Hn' also pronounced 'Hrn': Adj. v. n. Unhand him/
release him you foul Fiend!
Relena
glares at Heero and then glomps him.
!"Heero" She Whines.
"Don't you know how much I
Loooooovvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeee youuuuuuuu!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
"HN!!!"
Duo reaches over the prone Heero and lecherous
Relena to pick up the Dictionary.
And gasps in shock as he reads the definition.
"Golly, prince Heero, you shouldn't use words like
THAT!"
Heero
dislodges the obsessed Relena and grabs a glass of water from "spandex space",
((all hale the creator of 'spandex space')), and pours it all over her!
'Hn." Heero says in shock. Duo again reaches for the Dictionary.
Hn: Humping hippo's Duo!! Relena not Human!!
Aphrodisiacs Anus She's an alien!!!!
((Heero was trying out for the AC199 remake of
BATMAN. He wanted to be robin!! **Giggle** He doesn't have the phrases quite
right yet.))
Duo raises an eye brow as Relena changes into a
slug type creature. ((She is really Queen slug for a butt.))
"Quickly my love we must flee!" Says Duo as he
runs for the window.
As they flee, the words
"Heeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooo, come back ane KILL
MEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!" are heard echoing through the country side.
Duo shivers as he hears the slugs voice and sighs as his world goes blank
again.
(1) = The planet Bob is my creation, it is solely
mine, it lies just outside reality and is populated by a all the ….blast what
are the words….well its populated by some VERY sexy ppl !! [i.e. Characters
from. Gundam, Rayearth, Legend of the 4 kings, lodess wars, so on and so
forth……]
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lookie I finished phase
1…………..not so well I thinks……but if you would like to tell me what you think I
would be happy, and I might change it ??? ………….coming as soon as I write it
…….if ever……….. phase 2 ……..the Lil' red riding hood chronicles!!!!!
Muhahahahahahaahhaaaaa ha ha …………… haaa……..ah well no one ever listens
to my mad evil laughter NE way!!!
I am soooooo sorry for being soooo mean to poor
Duo-Kun I really am!!!!! It just turned out that way……**Sob** I didn't mean to
be so mean!!
Ja ne………Shelly
