The Bishounen Contest - Summer Style
By:
Warnings: Major OOC-ness and shounen ai running around all over the place.
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[Chapter 1: Introduction]
"Next time, on Power Ranger Time Force..."
[flip]
"Coming up on Blind Date..."
[flip]
"Osmosis Jones. He's one cell of a guy..."
[flip]
"Today on The Nanny..."
[flip]
"Next, in Access Hollywood..."
[flip]
"Sunday on Nikki..."
[flip]
"It's 10 o'clock. Do you know where your children are?"
[flip]
"...come to the Bishounen Contest - Summer Style! And I am your host, Raiha-chan! Today in our show, we bring you on location to Tampa, Florida!"
Mill blinked once then blinked twice. Throwing the remote control somewhere into the dark void behind her, the girl sat back in her seat, giving the television set her undivided attention.
"This better be good..."
~+~+~
"For all those who lives in Florida, why don't you come on out and join us? For those who doesn't live in Florida, well, just keep watching your TV!" Raiha-chan gave a V-sign to the camera.
"H~I!" Kasumi Karen made a kissy face at the camera. "I am one of your three hostesses, Kasumi Karen! Raiha-chan, you've already met. Our third and final hostess is the cute little Nekoi Yuzuriha!"
"Hi!" Yuzuriha pawed at the camera screen.
"Watch it!" the cameraman glared at her.
"Anyway…" Karen grabbed Yuzuriha's collar and begin pulling her away. "For those who have absolutely no idea what this contest is about…join the club."
"I know what it's about! I know!" Yuzuriha chirped, excited. "It's where a lot of bishounens compete, physically and mentally, with each other for prizes!"
"Oh…" Karen was lost deep in her thoughts as she tried to digest the newly acquired information. Finally, she snapped out of her thoughts. "So, what's the prize?"
"Funny you should ask, Karen-san," Raiha-chan replied. "These bishounens are competing against each other to find out who's the best of them all. The prize is the Bishounen of the Year title!"
"Uh…how wonderful…" Karen clapped her hand not so enthusiastically.
"There are a total of 3 teams, with 6 members each," Raiha-chan continued as the trio made their way to an unlit area. "They will go through a total of 5 Question & Answer trials and 3 physical tests. But we'll have more of that later. First, shall we meet the contestants?"
Yuzuriha disappeared off-screen as Raiha-chan and Karen made her way to the furthest left of the screen. Karen can be seen shuffling some cards and mumbling incoherently.
"Our first team of 6 are!" Raiha-chan gave a slight nod and lights came on overhead.
"This member is team #1's leader and comes from the very well-known series, Weiß Kreuz! Please give a warm welcome to Brad Crawford!" Karen announced as the American step up wearing nothing but a pair of black shorts. "Please say something about yourself or anything you want."
"I foresaw myself in this position so why the hell couldn't I prevent it?!" Brad was furious. Karen chuckled weakly and pretended that he wasn't there.
"Next member is from the wonderful series that is just chock-full of bishounens, Senkaiden Houshin Engi, please give it up for Taijyouroukun!" Karen continued. Suddenly, a blur whizzed by her.
"That blur looks oddly familiar…" Karen squint.
"Let…go…" Taijyouroukun choked as Raiha-chan squeezed him tighter. "He…lp…"
"Raiha-chan, stop glomping the poor thing!" Karen scolded. Raiha-chan pouted then jumped down reluctantly.
"Anyway…our third member comes from the series Shoujo Kakumei Utena and is yet another green-haired hottie!" Karen fanned herself lightly. "Yes, you guessed it! Please welcome Saionji Kyouichi!"
"This is hell…" Saionji groaned as the hostesses continued their introductions.
"My turn!" Raiha-chan chirped. "Our fourth member loves smoking, gambling, drinking and carries a gun. He's one hell of a un-priestlike monk! Give it up for Genjo Sanzo from Gensomaden Saiyuki!"
"…at least we can say that we've been through hell and back," Sanzo made his reply to Saionji's earlier comment.
"Guys shouldn't talk so much," Raiha-chan said. The other 4 just glared at her. "Moving on…our final two members are from the same series. One of them refuses to be on team #3 like he was supposed to because he's clingy."
"I am not! I just don't trust you with my koibito!"
"You're clingy," Raiha-chan concluded as the blond glared at her. "Anyway, please welcome Ishuca and Blood from Kohri no Mamono no Monogatari!"
"I. Am. Not. Clingy!" Blood glared daggers at the girl.
"Yeah, yeah," Raiha-chan glared back. "Anyway…onto team #2!"
"Right…" Karen flipped a card. "The leader of team #2 is lazy, smart but looks very undependable and loves peaches like no other does. Please welcome Taikoubou, from Senkaiden Houshin Engi!"
"I am very dependable!" Taikoubou protested.
"Which is why I said 'looks very undependable', Karen gave the boy a 'duh' look. "Next, our second member comes from a family of look-a-likes and has a very cute tail. Please welcome Zidane Tribal from Final Fantasy IX!"
"Yeah!" Zidane gave the camera a V-sign.
"The third member of team #2 is a doctor!" Raiha-chan said. "A very cute one at that, too. ^_^ His right eye is mechanical and can be found sporting a white outfit all the time. He also seems to have this fascination with a certain purple-eyed boy… Anyway, please welcome Muraki Kazutaka from Yami no Matsuei!"
The doctor merely smiled at the camera.
"Our fourth member," Karen continued once the camera zoomed back to her. "Is a thief who likes to send out warning notices before he actually goes to steal something. Call him stupid but…he's stupid. Anyway, please welcome Dark Mousy from DN Angel!"
"I am not stupid!" Dark ground his teeth together.
"Yeah, anyway…" Karen glanced at her cards. "Our fifth member was supposed to be on team #3 but unfortunately, declined. He had threatened that if we don't put him on team #2 with his Dark-chan, he'll kill us all. Seeing how homicidal he is, we unfortunately have to agree."
"Could you just…?" Raiha-chan trailed off, as Dark paled behind her.
"Ah, of course! Please give it up for Krad!" Karen finished.
The blond sauntered up, gave a smile to the camera then promptly pounced on Dark.
"Why, God, WHYYYYYY????" Dark complained loudly.
"Consider it a punishment for all the stuff you've stolen," Karen shrugged. "Anyway, our final member for team #2 is the young boy from the very series I'm from. Please welcome Shirou Kamui from - what else? - X!!"
"Uh…hi," the purple-eyed boy gave a weak smile.
"Now, let's move on to team #3, before Yuzuriha-chan gets too restless," Karen waved the young man to his position. "Team #3's leader was known as the Messiah. He was the most recent reincarnation of the great Organic Angel, Alexiel. Yes, you know it. Please welcome Mudou Setsuna from Angel Sanctuary!"
The boy didn't look at all happy.
"The second member for team #3 is a quite man, loves to play the violin and is in love with a girl who's older than him," Raiha-chan straightened. "In case you couldn't guess…we're talking about Hanazawa Rui from Hana Yori Dango!"
The camera stared at Rui, who simply stared back with a blank expression.
"Anyway," Raiha-chan coughed. "Our next 2 members are from the same series and band. One is the vocalist and the other is the lead guitarist! Please welcome Ookouchi Sakuya and Toudou Yukifumi!"
"You can just call me Yuki," Yuki smiled dazzlingly at the camera. The other young man stood beside him silently.
"Well, that's 4 members down with 2 more to go!" Raiha-chan chirped cheerfully. "Let's bring them both out together to waste less time!"
"Right," Karen nodded. "Our next team member is a shape-shifter and has a very cute white-colored dog as his pet. Please give it up for the Tensai Doushi himself, Youzen from Senkaiden Houshin Engi!"
"This is humiliating…" the blue-haired bishounen muttered to himself.
"The last member for team #3 is a food-loving monkey," Karen continued. "Please welcome Son Goku from Gensomaden Saiyuki!"
"Hi!" Goku smiled broadly the camera.
"Well, that's all for the introductions," Raiha-chan pushed the monkey away. "Let's get down to business, shall we? But first! A message from our sponsors!"
~+~+~
"Wanna have a body like mine? Then try my mocha-flavored Gateau Lotion! Just one drop of this fi~ne lotion, and this body can be yours!"
[whisper whisper]
"Wha--? What you say?"
"Re-tar-ded!"
"Why, you little---!"
[thud]
"Due to the excessive swearing and violent content of this commercial, you are advised to immediately evacuate the vicinity. In other words, switch the damn channel!"
[End Chapter 1]
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Mill: What…the HELL was that?!
Raiha-chan: I blame my muses! Especially that no-good muse who keeps taking vacations!
[said muse looks up, donut in mouth]