Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, nor the characters it holds. If you sue me you won't get anything from me!! -clenches onto her Heero plushie- oh, the song isn't mine either it belongs to whoever it does.
Possession Death
By: Saiai Yuy
Angst 1+2
Listen as the wind blows
from across the great divide,
Voices trapped in yearning,
memories trapped in time,
The night is my companion
and solitude my guide,
Would I spend forever here
and not be satisfied,
Soft eyes of indigo gaze into cold cobalt orbs. A voice released from pale rosebud-lips sounding smooth as silk but rigged as if someone started to pull out the soft strings slowly.
"Hee-chan.. Why must I go through this?" the braided boy spoke.
"..Jyuu.. I don't know.." A cold gaze rising to meet up with the other's as a hint of surprise was seen.
The night air chilled the bones of the braided one who sighed of sorrow and continued to speak.
"The Lord won't tell me.. I ask for answers in prayer and still receive none.."
"Perhaps, this journey is only meant for you. Maybe.. the Lord knows that you can get through this on your own.."
Jyuu bit back a sob of tears restraining himself from leaping on the boy hugging him closely and crying into those shoulders of his which always gave him the comfort before.
"But I don't want to.."
"You shouldn't say that Jyuu, you were always so strong.." Heero looked at him with a slight frown spreading over his lips.
Sobs and tears were held back while he averted his gaze from his koi.
"I'm not strong."
"Yes you are. You're still here after all that has happened to you in the past.. even what is happening to you." Heero paused a bit. "Believe in yourself Jyuu.." A slender lilth hand rose up brushing away a lock of chestnut brown hair which fell over the braided boy's face then gently dusted him off.
Jyuu shut his eyes tightly getting a feeling that his koi really didn't understand him on why he was still alive. "I don't want to be alone…" He choked back some tears and forced himself to look back into the cobalt blue eyes that always captured him and lost him in memories. "The only reason why I'm here today is because of you. I'm trapped in a yearning.. Your still here, but your also gone.., it's something I can't stand."
The cold boy looked down pausing for a moment, swallowing a lump in his throat to say two words he hasn't spoke to anyone in a long time and truly meaning it.
"I'm.. sorry."
"I don't know what else to say to you Jyuu, except.. get stronger and, move on." The last few words turned faint while he tried to force himself to say it even in a whisper.
Jyuu kept his eyes shut ever so tightly while his hands curled into fists, his teeth grinding against each other. "I don't want to move on. Do you not understand Heero!?"
"Jyuu.. I do understand you for the last time, but there are things that have to be done, things that people don't want to do at all. For your own good.. you must move on."
Through this world I've stumbled
so many times betrayed,
Trying to find an honest word,
to find the truth enslaved,
Oh you speak to me in riddles and
you speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath,
you words keep me alive,
Jyuu tried to hold back a growing rage inside of him. His eyes turning a misty black like a storm swirling around, much like a maelstrom. Finally, it came out, his words cold in anger, so cold that it seemed like it iced everything into a giant glacier.
"No! I won't! I'll do anything and everything to keep myself from loosing you! I don't want to be alone again! It hurts! It's tearing me apart inside!!" The braided boy shut his eyes trying to calm himself down from the fury and pain twisted into one from burning inside him tearing him down piece by piece. "I'm a coward.. I'm too scared to step forward alone again. Hell will happen and I know it. It always happens, it always happens to me.." His voice quieted for a short moment or two while Heero quickly took a harsh grasp of Jyuu's arm in both hands.
"What we had.. is over Jyuu. I still love you, but you have to face it and face it now.. its over." He held the boy's arm tighter making sure he couldn't escape his grasp. "Look what it this doing to you.. You aren't yourself anymore."
"No.. I don't want it to be over Hee-chan.." Jyuu chocked back tears as his indigo eyes opened to gaze painfully into Heero's. "Why don't you want to be with me..? Am I not worthy enough? Do you not want to be with me for I have no home to live in? That I'm a street brat and nothing more..? That I am dirty and have no water to cleanse myself? That my hair is dirty for I have no soap to wash it out? That my hair is tangled for I have no brush to comb it?? That I have no bed to lay in at night, and no blanket to protect me from the chilling cold?? That I've always been alone.. and will stay alone?" A few tears fell out from his eyes past his defenses. "Every night I weep in prayer wishing I still had Solo to protect me, Sister Helen to threaten to cut my hair while I ran thru the church laughing, my mother and father to actually be able to see and know what they are like, know their personality and have them hold me and say they love me.. to have you here to pull my braid and call me baka.. To actually be loved by someone.. and have a feeling of being wanted.. to actually be wanted in this world.."
Heero tried to fight back the emotion but it was all revealed in his trembling eyes while he looking at Jyuu trying to keep back tears.
"No Jyuu.. everything.. everything you just said... those are the reasons I loved you" His eyes averted down while his voice turned into a low whisper.
"And I still do, I want you Jyuu.. I want to hold you and make you feel better.. I want to talk to you like we always did and laugh again, but I can't do that now because you won't let go.. I might not have you the same anymore, but at least I would see the Jyuu that was there before." His hands let go of the braided boy's arm while he kept his trembling gaze downwards. "Don't you ever say I don't love you again, or that there isn't anyone thinking about you or caring about you.. because I'll always be here as long as you're alive."
Jyuu looked at him as he backed up a few steps then turned away, his braid swinging slightly around him. "Then that won't be for long.. I pray the Lord takes my life away."
And I would be the one
to hold you down,
kiss you so hard,
I'll take your breath away
and after I'd wipe away the tears,
Just close your eyes dear
Heero reached out and grabbed the slender pale hand of the other boy's holding it warmly. "Don't you understand..? I love you."
"You don't. People who love others don't let them stay out in the cold. Let them slowly die and rot inside."
"I'm trying to make you see that I want you to stop being like this.. I'm trying to get you out of the cold, that shell that you've locked everyone else out of."
Jyuu turned around and gazed longingly into his eyes as he pushes him up against a wall that was near by on the street. Those indigo eyes of his shut lightly while his head canted to the side. Pressing those pale rosebud lips of his against the cold boy's so hard. Heero grunted from the impact on the wall. His arms dropping to his side. Those cobalt blue orbs stayed open, slightly widened. Being resistant to kiss back, but he hadn't felt this in so long. To be kissed by the boy who used to be his koi brought alive something he couldn't control. His eyes slowly closed while he returned the kiss gently, groaning slightly. The braided boy slowly parted from the kiss while he wiped a few tears away. Lifting up a single hand he brushed his thumb against the cold boy's lips whispering softly to him a faint smile upon his face.
"Just close your eyes dear.."
Heero stayed there in silence. His arms still by his side and his back up against the wall. Thoughts running through his mind rapidly.
Into this night I wander,
it's morning that I dread,
Another day of knowing of
the path I fear to tread,
Oh into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride,
Nothing stands between us here
and I won't be denied,
That smile was still upon his face, but it was deeper than happiness, it was cold madness. He slowly took the boy's hand moving it towards the gun that always remained in the top part of his spandex. He took the boy's hand, which was down by his side and made him clench a hold of it slipping his index finger through the trigger. His own hands lifted the gun up while he pressed it against his stomach. Those indigo eyes still looked into the deep cobalt blue orbs trapping him there. The smile spread wider while he made Heero pull the trigger which sent off a loud blast and a splatter of red behind Jyuu. The braided boy's mouth opened as he gave a quick gasp and those indigo eyes of his grew wide.
"Thank you.. Heero.." he spoke in a raspy voice.
Heero's chest rose with an agonizing gasp. He leaped forward dropping his gun to the side and grabbed the boy in his arms. He screamed out his name as tears streamed down his eyes in an instant.
"Jyuu!! No! You idiot.. Jyuu!!!"
The braided boy looked up at him laying inside his arms. His eyes looking empty, but still a hint of life in them. His voice was weak while he tried to give his faint smile.
"I told you that.. I wanted you to shoot me with your gun. I guess.. its finally done.." he coughed up a bit of blood.
Heero cried into the boy's shirt damping it slightly. Hugging the boy he loved tighter than he should've.
"I would never hurt you Jyuu.. never." He spoke in a sobbing and choked up voice. Slowly he slid down the wall to his knees holding the braided boy like a rag doll.
"Why…why?"
Jyuu lifted his lilth hand and held the boy's cheek softly and weakly.
"I never thought I would meet someone like you.." His eyes shut tightly while another cough of blood splurted out of his mouth. Slowly he opened up his eyes again. "I always wanted to look out for you.. when we were together. It's hard enough to keep my eyes open now.. even to look at you my koi."
"I would do anything to turn back the clock Jyuu.. To erase all my mistakes." His hand went over the boy's wound while he shut his eyes gently. "Don't you see..? You're my life Jyuu, no matter where you go, or who I'm with- you're the first one that ever got through to me.. and the last I'll do anything for." He paused while he brought his eyes back up to the braided boy's. "If you die.. there's no reason for me to live.."
Jyuu's voice started to grow faint and soft, life being sucked out of him by each drop of blood pouring on the ground. "There are other's my koi.. I know that you've told me that you love me, and I'm your all. But.. what I never got around to knowing.. is what life would be like together.. forever." Tears started to fill his eyes while they started to fade abit. "But.. I guess that doesn't matter…now" His hand grew too weak and slowly started to fall to the ground. His eyes blank and empty, lifeless. His smile faded, his body limp.
Those cobalt blue pools stopped trembling and returned to a cold gaze. Slowly his gaze rotated to the boy's falling hand. He took it in his palms while clenching his teeth. His sight moving to the gun that had fallen a foot's distance from them. With a slow blink he reached toward it pulling it up close to his chest. The gaze then looking down at the lifeless boy before him.
"..Never will I be separated from you Jyuu. Where ever you go, I shall follow." He palpated the boy's face, his eyes dark, completely still.
Jyuu laid in his arms, non-moving. His skin turning a pale white and his body cold. The blood slowly leaking out of him as a wind blows a few soft chestnut brown tendrils. Silence taking over.
Heero stared at the limp figure in his arms and hugged him tightly. Trying to keep everything within him.
And I would be the one
to hold you down,
kiss you so hard,
I'll take your breath away
and after I'd wipe away the tears,
Just close your eyes
Slowly the perfect soldier lowered his head towards his koi's while he pressed his lips against his, giving him his farewell kiss. After a few moments he broke it and looked at the dead body within his arms. His hands clutching the gun ever-so-near. Bringing the barrel up to the side of his head he continued to stare at his cold, lifeless love.
"Where ever you go.. I shall follow.." he repeated as a whisper.
His lithe hand sent a small signal to one of his digits while it pulled back the trigger. Another crack of gunfire echoed the area while the perfect soldier slowly descended down laying against his love. The two rest together on the cold ground during the night. Two lives molded into one. And gently, the perfect soldier shut his eyes.. the last time.
Fini
I know I know, the ending sucks u_u I could've done better. But I didn't oh well :D Tell me how you like at XvTrowaBartonXv@aol.com!
Possession Death
By: Saiai Yuy
Angst 1+2
Listen as the wind blows
from across the great divide,
Voices trapped in yearning,
memories trapped in time,
The night is my companion
and solitude my guide,
Would I spend forever here
and not be satisfied,
Soft eyes of indigo gaze into cold cobalt orbs. A voice released from pale rosebud-lips sounding smooth as silk but rigged as if someone started to pull out the soft strings slowly.
"Hee-chan.. Why must I go through this?" the braided boy spoke.
"..Jyuu.. I don't know.." A cold gaze rising to meet up with the other's as a hint of surprise was seen.
The night air chilled the bones of the braided one who sighed of sorrow and continued to speak.
"The Lord won't tell me.. I ask for answers in prayer and still receive none.."
"Perhaps, this journey is only meant for you. Maybe.. the Lord knows that you can get through this on your own.."
Jyuu bit back a sob of tears restraining himself from leaping on the boy hugging him closely and crying into those shoulders of his which always gave him the comfort before.
"But I don't want to.."
"You shouldn't say that Jyuu, you were always so strong.." Heero looked at him with a slight frown spreading over his lips.
Sobs and tears were held back while he averted his gaze from his koi.
"I'm not strong."
"Yes you are. You're still here after all that has happened to you in the past.. even what is happening to you." Heero paused a bit. "Believe in yourself Jyuu.." A slender lilth hand rose up brushing away a lock of chestnut brown hair which fell over the braided boy's face then gently dusted him off.
Jyuu shut his eyes tightly getting a feeling that his koi really didn't understand him on why he was still alive. "I don't want to be alone…" He choked back some tears and forced himself to look back into the cobalt blue eyes that always captured him and lost him in memories. "The only reason why I'm here today is because of you. I'm trapped in a yearning.. Your still here, but your also gone.., it's something I can't stand."
The cold boy looked down pausing for a moment, swallowing a lump in his throat to say two words he hasn't spoke to anyone in a long time and truly meaning it.
"I'm.. sorry."
"I don't know what else to say to you Jyuu, except.. get stronger and, move on." The last few words turned faint while he tried to force himself to say it even in a whisper.
Jyuu kept his eyes shut ever so tightly while his hands curled into fists, his teeth grinding against each other. "I don't want to move on. Do you not understand Heero!?"
"Jyuu.. I do understand you for the last time, but there are things that have to be done, things that people don't want to do at all. For your own good.. you must move on."
Through this world I've stumbled
so many times betrayed,
Trying to find an honest word,
to find the truth enslaved,
Oh you speak to me in riddles and
you speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath,
you words keep me alive,
Jyuu tried to hold back a growing rage inside of him. His eyes turning a misty black like a storm swirling around, much like a maelstrom. Finally, it came out, his words cold in anger, so cold that it seemed like it iced everything into a giant glacier.
"No! I won't! I'll do anything and everything to keep myself from loosing you! I don't want to be alone again! It hurts! It's tearing me apart inside!!" The braided boy shut his eyes trying to calm himself down from the fury and pain twisted into one from burning inside him tearing him down piece by piece. "I'm a coward.. I'm too scared to step forward alone again. Hell will happen and I know it. It always happens, it always happens to me.." His voice quieted for a short moment or two while Heero quickly took a harsh grasp of Jyuu's arm in both hands.
"What we had.. is over Jyuu. I still love you, but you have to face it and face it now.. its over." He held the boy's arm tighter making sure he couldn't escape his grasp. "Look what it this doing to you.. You aren't yourself anymore."
"No.. I don't want it to be over Hee-chan.." Jyuu chocked back tears as his indigo eyes opened to gaze painfully into Heero's. "Why don't you want to be with me..? Am I not worthy enough? Do you not want to be with me for I have no home to live in? That I'm a street brat and nothing more..? That I am dirty and have no water to cleanse myself? That my hair is dirty for I have no soap to wash it out? That my hair is tangled for I have no brush to comb it?? That I have no bed to lay in at night, and no blanket to protect me from the chilling cold?? That I've always been alone.. and will stay alone?" A few tears fell out from his eyes past his defenses. "Every night I weep in prayer wishing I still had Solo to protect me, Sister Helen to threaten to cut my hair while I ran thru the church laughing, my mother and father to actually be able to see and know what they are like, know their personality and have them hold me and say they love me.. to have you here to pull my braid and call me baka.. To actually be loved by someone.. and have a feeling of being wanted.. to actually be wanted in this world.."
Heero tried to fight back the emotion but it was all revealed in his trembling eyes while he looking at Jyuu trying to keep back tears.
"No Jyuu.. everything.. everything you just said... those are the reasons I loved you" His eyes averted down while his voice turned into a low whisper.
"And I still do, I want you Jyuu.. I want to hold you and make you feel better.. I want to talk to you like we always did and laugh again, but I can't do that now because you won't let go.. I might not have you the same anymore, but at least I would see the Jyuu that was there before." His hands let go of the braided boy's arm while he kept his trembling gaze downwards. "Don't you ever say I don't love you again, or that there isn't anyone thinking about you or caring about you.. because I'll always be here as long as you're alive."
Jyuu looked at him as he backed up a few steps then turned away, his braid swinging slightly around him. "Then that won't be for long.. I pray the Lord takes my life away."
And I would be the one
to hold you down,
kiss you so hard,
I'll take your breath away
and after I'd wipe away the tears,
Just close your eyes dear
Heero reached out and grabbed the slender pale hand of the other boy's holding it warmly. "Don't you understand..? I love you."
"You don't. People who love others don't let them stay out in the cold. Let them slowly die and rot inside."
"I'm trying to make you see that I want you to stop being like this.. I'm trying to get you out of the cold, that shell that you've locked everyone else out of."
Jyuu turned around and gazed longingly into his eyes as he pushes him up against a wall that was near by on the street. Those indigo eyes of his shut lightly while his head canted to the side. Pressing those pale rosebud lips of his against the cold boy's so hard. Heero grunted from the impact on the wall. His arms dropping to his side. Those cobalt blue orbs stayed open, slightly widened. Being resistant to kiss back, but he hadn't felt this in so long. To be kissed by the boy who used to be his koi brought alive something he couldn't control. His eyes slowly closed while he returned the kiss gently, groaning slightly. The braided boy slowly parted from the kiss while he wiped a few tears away. Lifting up a single hand he brushed his thumb against the cold boy's lips whispering softly to him a faint smile upon his face.
"Just close your eyes dear.."
Heero stayed there in silence. His arms still by his side and his back up against the wall. Thoughts running through his mind rapidly.
Into this night I wander,
it's morning that I dread,
Another day of knowing of
the path I fear to tread,
Oh into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride,
Nothing stands between us here
and I won't be denied,
That smile was still upon his face, but it was deeper than happiness, it was cold madness. He slowly took the boy's hand moving it towards the gun that always remained in the top part of his spandex. He took the boy's hand, which was down by his side and made him clench a hold of it slipping his index finger through the trigger. His own hands lifted the gun up while he pressed it against his stomach. Those indigo eyes still looked into the deep cobalt blue orbs trapping him there. The smile spread wider while he made Heero pull the trigger which sent off a loud blast and a splatter of red behind Jyuu. The braided boy's mouth opened as he gave a quick gasp and those indigo eyes of his grew wide.
"Thank you.. Heero.." he spoke in a raspy voice.
Heero's chest rose with an agonizing gasp. He leaped forward dropping his gun to the side and grabbed the boy in his arms. He screamed out his name as tears streamed down his eyes in an instant.
"Jyuu!! No! You idiot.. Jyuu!!!"
The braided boy looked up at him laying inside his arms. His eyes looking empty, but still a hint of life in them. His voice was weak while he tried to give his faint smile.
"I told you that.. I wanted you to shoot me with your gun. I guess.. its finally done.." he coughed up a bit of blood.
Heero cried into the boy's shirt damping it slightly. Hugging the boy he loved tighter than he should've.
"I would never hurt you Jyuu.. never." He spoke in a sobbing and choked up voice. Slowly he slid down the wall to his knees holding the braided boy like a rag doll.
"Why…why?"
Jyuu lifted his lilth hand and held the boy's cheek softly and weakly.
"I never thought I would meet someone like you.." His eyes shut tightly while another cough of blood splurted out of his mouth. Slowly he opened up his eyes again. "I always wanted to look out for you.. when we were together. It's hard enough to keep my eyes open now.. even to look at you my koi."
"I would do anything to turn back the clock Jyuu.. To erase all my mistakes." His hand went over the boy's wound while he shut his eyes gently. "Don't you see..? You're my life Jyuu, no matter where you go, or who I'm with- you're the first one that ever got through to me.. and the last I'll do anything for." He paused while he brought his eyes back up to the braided boy's. "If you die.. there's no reason for me to live.."
Jyuu's voice started to grow faint and soft, life being sucked out of him by each drop of blood pouring on the ground. "There are other's my koi.. I know that you've told me that you love me, and I'm your all. But.. what I never got around to knowing.. is what life would be like together.. forever." Tears started to fill his eyes while they started to fade abit. "But.. I guess that doesn't matter…now" His hand grew too weak and slowly started to fall to the ground. His eyes blank and empty, lifeless. His smile faded, his body limp.
Those cobalt blue pools stopped trembling and returned to a cold gaze. Slowly his gaze rotated to the boy's falling hand. He took it in his palms while clenching his teeth. His sight moving to the gun that had fallen a foot's distance from them. With a slow blink he reached toward it pulling it up close to his chest. The gaze then looking down at the lifeless boy before him.
"..Never will I be separated from you Jyuu. Where ever you go, I shall follow." He palpated the boy's face, his eyes dark, completely still.
Jyuu laid in his arms, non-moving. His skin turning a pale white and his body cold. The blood slowly leaking out of him as a wind blows a few soft chestnut brown tendrils. Silence taking over.
Heero stared at the limp figure in his arms and hugged him tightly. Trying to keep everything within him.
And I would be the one
to hold you down,
kiss you so hard,
I'll take your breath away
and after I'd wipe away the tears,
Just close your eyes
Slowly the perfect soldier lowered his head towards his koi's while he pressed his lips against his, giving him his farewell kiss. After a few moments he broke it and looked at the dead body within his arms. His hands clutching the gun ever-so-near. Bringing the barrel up to the side of his head he continued to stare at his cold, lifeless love.
"Where ever you go.. I shall follow.." he repeated as a whisper.
His lithe hand sent a small signal to one of his digits while it pulled back the trigger. Another crack of gunfire echoed the area while the perfect soldier slowly descended down laying against his love. The two rest together on the cold ground during the night. Two lives molded into one. And gently, the perfect soldier shut his eyes.. the last time.
Fini
I know I know, the ending sucks u_u I could've done better. But I didn't oh well :D Tell me how you like at XvTrowaBartonXv@aol.com!