Older Than Me
By Nicola
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Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Put it this way, if you don't know about S2 BtVS, don't read this.
Season: Ooh, middle S3? No end of S2.
Started: Aug 20th '01
Completed: Aug 20th '01 (who's been a busy li'l bee?)
Teaser: Willow's POV on the new Buffy. My sequel to 'Be Kind, Rewind'.
Notes: So I'm imitating last summer's 'attack of the movie sequels', but I just got bored with writing the sequel to some other story, and this was just dying to be written. So maybe that's a lie, but what do you care?
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I worry about her sometimes. When there's a big evil on the up and we're all gathered in the library researching, I'll sometimes catch her sitting with a big book in front of her, gazing off into the distance as if remembering something. I always look at Angel afterwards, to see if he noticed. And every time, he just gives me a pained smile and continues reading. I really worry about her.
I knew the day after her birthday that Buffy was different. She seemed to hold herself differently, as if there was a mountain of guilt on her shoulders but her dignity had expanded. And she spoke to us all differently, like we were something worth more than she'd previously realised. At first, after I learnt what had happened that night, I thought it was just down to that. She slept with Angel, it changed her perspective. But it just didn't fit. I watched her sparring with Giles one time, and she'd improved over night, or so it seemed. She suddenly had a great knowledge of everything in class, and of evilness that was approaching. And one time we were researching and she started singing some song that I'd never heard. I asked if she'd written it and she blushed like I never have, giggling and saying,
"Uh, no. Just.. a song I heard." Two weeks later Sarah McLachlan released that very song, and that was when I started guessing.
She and Angel have gotten closer over the last few months. I have to lie to Mrs. Summers up to three times a week so that Buffy can stay with Angel over night. I don't feel entirely comfortable with it, but what can I do? But she's so different it's almost tangible. Even Xander and Cordelia have noticed that she's smarter and faster. Giles and I worry together; what could have changed our Buffy so much?
We tried to approach Buffy over it, but she shrugged us off and hurried off to patrol. And when we asked Angel, he clamped his mouth shut, simply telling us:
"If Buffy doesn't want to tell you, what gives me the right to?" He was right, of course, but it doesn't stop us from worrying.
We've just returned from a big fight with Spike. We caught word that he'd imported some stone demon called Acathla. When Angel, who'd beaten it out of Willy the Snitch, said that word, Buffy positively froze. She went pale, and for a moment I thought she was going to pass out.
"Ac...Acathla?" she choked, and her hands shook so much her coke spilled onto the floor.
"What's so bad about that?" Xander had asked, and Buffy looked even more sick. Giles went to researching the demon, and he sent Buffy home. I've never seen her look so frightened. Angel patrolled for her, and we joined Giles.
Next day Buffy came in and she didn't look any better. In fact, she looked worse in my opinion. I think even Cordelia knew enough not to insult Buffy in her condition, even though her hair was a mess, she was wearing clashing clothes and absolutely no make-up to hide the bags under her eyes. I knew the old Buffy couldn't feel that kind of depression, and yet this Buffy was displaying it for all to see. I wondered briefly if she were a clone of some sort, but I brushed it off. Who on earth would clone Buffy, and how, and why? It didn't make sense.
After school she went over to Angel's. She didn't say why and we didn't question; she had been doing it a lot since her birthday. Within half an hour she was back, balling her eyes out and wailing that Angel had gone. She told us that only worthy blood could open and close Acathla, and Angel's blood was that blood. But then she stopped, and thought for a moment. It was eerie, to see her swing from utter misery to quiet concentration. In a low voice, she murmured,
"But Angel is souled, polluting him with humanity. That makes his blood unworthy. To open Acathla they'd have to..." her eyes went so wide I thought her eye balls would pop out. In a flash she dashed to the weapons locker, grabbing an axe and some stakes. "Where's Kendra's sword when you really need it?" she had huffed angrily. Slamming the doors closed she whirled on us, sitting bewildered around the table. She barked orders at us, and we scurried into action. Two people were to get Angel out, and the rest of us just had to fight. We all scurried off to the mansion on Crawford Street, none of us questioning how she knew where Spike and Dru were staying.
We walked in to find Angel lying on the floor, moaning, with two other vampires and Drusilla surrounding him, chanting, and Spike standing off to one side. Buffy's eyes darkened, and she tensed for battle, bringing up her axe. One of the vampires was dust on the floor before anyone knew we were there. Buffy charged in, axe swinging, dusting the other vampire and hacking at Dru's arm before Spike leapt to her rescue. Buffy flew at him, but not a sound left her lips as she pummelled him to an unrecognisable shape. Dru cried as she scooped up Spike, begging forgiveness, before whistling for her minions to save them. That was when the real battle began.
Twenty vampires charged in, attacking us viciously. We had all brought weapons, of course, but we couldn't stand up against them alone. Buffy didn't disappoint. Heads were severed, arms were lopped off, and before long there was dust all over the floor and howls of pain coming from the survivors who could and had run off.
We were all too stunned to move, checking each other for damages. We all faired pretty well, considering. I looked back over the fight, remembering how Buffy had seemed to be everywhere at once, defending everybody and still on the attack. Her right arm was bleeding profusely, soaking her torn shirt, and it hung limply at her side. She knelt by Angel, rolling him onto his bare back. His chest was red and burnt, by holy water I imagined, and he whimpered in pain. My heart went out to them both. Buffy rubbed her fingers against her blood soaked shirt, before waving them under Angel's nose. He jerked awake very quickly; Slayer blood, I guess. She looked deep into his eyes, as if searching for something, before letting out a whoop of joy and wrapping her good arm around his neck. Angel hugged her back, before sitting up slowly and looking around him.
"Where are we?" he asked. "What's going on?" Buffy didn't reply, so we didn't either. Together they stood up, and then she wavered on her feet. The blood drained from her face and she really did collapse. Angel managed to catch her before she hit the floor, hugging her tightly to him as Giles dashed forward to inspect her wound.
"It's gone down to the bone," he told us all with a grimace. We followed that expression, rushing out to Oz's van and racing to the hospital. It was unusually quiet, probably because all the vampires knew something big was going to go down and had decided to stay in. The doctors wheeled Buffy off immediately, and then set about stitching the rest of us up. We were at a lost to explain how we got such wounds; muggers wouldn't try to hack off somebody's arm, and Giles was too old to be part of a gang. The nurse who saw to Angel, despite his protests, was very suspicious of the burns on his chest that were healing before her very eyes. They were burns sure, but not from fire. Angel stayed quiet on that one. Eventually we were left in peace in the waiting room for Buffy. She was wheeled out two hours later, fully awake, with her arm bandaged up and in a sling.
"It's a miracle. That much blood loss, and she's alive and kicking," the doctor had said, "We were going to give her a blood transfusion." Giles looked horrified, and I figured out why; someone else's blood would either dilute the Slayer's blood, or not mix with it at all. "It's healing incredibly fast. Superhumanly fast, one might say." The doctor chuckled.
So we've come back to the library, with pizza and soda, and now there's a comfortable silence. Oz is sitting next to me, Jenny and Giles are together in one corner, Xander and Cordelia are remarkably quiet on the stairs and Buffy is resting in Angel's lap, her head tucked under his chin. She is staring morosely at the floor, and Angel looks half asleep. Carefully Buffy shifts so that she can see us all more clearly.
"Thanks for following me into battle," she mumbles, "It means a lot to me." We smile, and she nods, settling back into her previous position. Giles clears his throat, standing and moving away from Jenny.
"Ah, how...I mean, what...?" he struggles to put into words what we've all been wondering. Why did Buffy freak out, how did she know what would open Acathla, and where is the old Buffy that wouldn't have cared half as much? It's not that I don't like this new version of Buffy, because I do. She's funny and friendly, like the old one, and much more willing to study. But she doesn't work on my wavelength anymore, and I would like to know why. Then maybe I can adjust myself. Buffy sighs in resignation, but doesn't move from her spot. She doesn't answer for a moment, and I wonder if she's forgotten that Giles said anything at all. Eventually she takes a deep breath and starts,
"At Graduation in 1999, something happened that completely destroyed me. I still had a body, and I still breathed, but I just couldn't go on living. It was like the world was coming to an end again, but this time it was my world and it was me that was ending. I couldn't handle the thing that happened, so I stole one of your books, Giles, and used it to turn back time." She pauses, waiting for any questions.
"You turned back time?" Xander asks incredulously. Buffy nods, and I notice that Angel, even though his eyes are closed and his head is bent forward, is rubbing her back soothingly.
"I turned back time so that I could stop it from happening again. And I'm going to do that, no matter what Fate has to say about it." Giles is standing stock still, looking extremely shocked. I frown. It does make a lot of sense. She does look older, and she's much more knowledgeable. "I came back for Angel," she adds in a whisper. I smile at that; that is typical Buffy.
With a sigh, she stands up, and Angel follows. The irony doesn't strike me as often anymore, but every now and then I'll realise how odd it is for a vampire to love a Slayer, and vice versa. But with practised ease I push the feeling aside. With waves good bye, they leave, and we are left with the knowledge that Buffy is just under two and half years older than we originally thought. In mind, she is over two years older than me. But she still likes me, so I'm not too worried. Or maybe I'm just too tired and sore to be worried.
In unspoken agreement, we all stand up and walk out, returning to our respective homes to try to sleep off the worst of the pain. At least I no longer have to worry so much about Buffy anymore.
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End
By Nicola
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Put it this way, if you don't know about S2 BtVS, don't read this.
Season: Ooh, middle S3? No end of S2.
Started: Aug 20th '01
Completed: Aug 20th '01 (who's been a busy li'l bee?)
Teaser: Willow's POV on the new Buffy. My sequel to 'Be Kind, Rewind'.
Notes: So I'm imitating last summer's 'attack of the movie sequels', but I just got bored with writing the sequel to some other story, and this was just dying to be written. So maybe that's a lie, but what do you care?
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
I worry about her sometimes. When there's a big evil on the up and we're all gathered in the library researching, I'll sometimes catch her sitting with a big book in front of her, gazing off into the distance as if remembering something. I always look at Angel afterwards, to see if he noticed. And every time, he just gives me a pained smile and continues reading. I really worry about her.
I knew the day after her birthday that Buffy was different. She seemed to hold herself differently, as if there was a mountain of guilt on her shoulders but her dignity had expanded. And she spoke to us all differently, like we were something worth more than she'd previously realised. At first, after I learnt what had happened that night, I thought it was just down to that. She slept with Angel, it changed her perspective. But it just didn't fit. I watched her sparring with Giles one time, and she'd improved over night, or so it seemed. She suddenly had a great knowledge of everything in class, and of evilness that was approaching. And one time we were researching and she started singing some song that I'd never heard. I asked if she'd written it and she blushed like I never have, giggling and saying,
"Uh, no. Just.. a song I heard." Two weeks later Sarah McLachlan released that very song, and that was when I started guessing.
She and Angel have gotten closer over the last few months. I have to lie to Mrs. Summers up to three times a week so that Buffy can stay with Angel over night. I don't feel entirely comfortable with it, but what can I do? But she's so different it's almost tangible. Even Xander and Cordelia have noticed that she's smarter and faster. Giles and I worry together; what could have changed our Buffy so much?
We tried to approach Buffy over it, but she shrugged us off and hurried off to patrol. And when we asked Angel, he clamped his mouth shut, simply telling us:
"If Buffy doesn't want to tell you, what gives me the right to?" He was right, of course, but it doesn't stop us from worrying.
We've just returned from a big fight with Spike. We caught word that he'd imported some stone demon called Acathla. When Angel, who'd beaten it out of Willy the Snitch, said that word, Buffy positively froze. She went pale, and for a moment I thought she was going to pass out.
"Ac...Acathla?" she choked, and her hands shook so much her coke spilled onto the floor.
"What's so bad about that?" Xander had asked, and Buffy looked even more sick. Giles went to researching the demon, and he sent Buffy home. I've never seen her look so frightened. Angel patrolled for her, and we joined Giles.
Next day Buffy came in and she didn't look any better. In fact, she looked worse in my opinion. I think even Cordelia knew enough not to insult Buffy in her condition, even though her hair was a mess, she was wearing clashing clothes and absolutely no make-up to hide the bags under her eyes. I knew the old Buffy couldn't feel that kind of depression, and yet this Buffy was displaying it for all to see. I wondered briefly if she were a clone of some sort, but I brushed it off. Who on earth would clone Buffy, and how, and why? It didn't make sense.
After school she went over to Angel's. She didn't say why and we didn't question; she had been doing it a lot since her birthday. Within half an hour she was back, balling her eyes out and wailing that Angel had gone. She told us that only worthy blood could open and close Acathla, and Angel's blood was that blood. But then she stopped, and thought for a moment. It was eerie, to see her swing from utter misery to quiet concentration. In a low voice, she murmured,
"But Angel is souled, polluting him with humanity. That makes his blood unworthy. To open Acathla they'd have to..." her eyes went so wide I thought her eye balls would pop out. In a flash she dashed to the weapons locker, grabbing an axe and some stakes. "Where's Kendra's sword when you really need it?" she had huffed angrily. Slamming the doors closed she whirled on us, sitting bewildered around the table. She barked orders at us, and we scurried into action. Two people were to get Angel out, and the rest of us just had to fight. We all scurried off to the mansion on Crawford Street, none of us questioning how she knew where Spike and Dru were staying.
We walked in to find Angel lying on the floor, moaning, with two other vampires and Drusilla surrounding him, chanting, and Spike standing off to one side. Buffy's eyes darkened, and she tensed for battle, bringing up her axe. One of the vampires was dust on the floor before anyone knew we were there. Buffy charged in, axe swinging, dusting the other vampire and hacking at Dru's arm before Spike leapt to her rescue. Buffy flew at him, but not a sound left her lips as she pummelled him to an unrecognisable shape. Dru cried as she scooped up Spike, begging forgiveness, before whistling for her minions to save them. That was when the real battle began.
Twenty vampires charged in, attacking us viciously. We had all brought weapons, of course, but we couldn't stand up against them alone. Buffy didn't disappoint. Heads were severed, arms were lopped off, and before long there was dust all over the floor and howls of pain coming from the survivors who could and had run off.
We were all too stunned to move, checking each other for damages. We all faired pretty well, considering. I looked back over the fight, remembering how Buffy had seemed to be everywhere at once, defending everybody and still on the attack. Her right arm was bleeding profusely, soaking her torn shirt, and it hung limply at her side. She knelt by Angel, rolling him onto his bare back. His chest was red and burnt, by holy water I imagined, and he whimpered in pain. My heart went out to them both. Buffy rubbed her fingers against her blood soaked shirt, before waving them under Angel's nose. He jerked awake very quickly; Slayer blood, I guess. She looked deep into his eyes, as if searching for something, before letting out a whoop of joy and wrapping her good arm around his neck. Angel hugged her back, before sitting up slowly and looking around him.
"Where are we?" he asked. "What's going on?" Buffy didn't reply, so we didn't either. Together they stood up, and then she wavered on her feet. The blood drained from her face and she really did collapse. Angel managed to catch her before she hit the floor, hugging her tightly to him as Giles dashed forward to inspect her wound.
"It's gone down to the bone," he told us all with a grimace. We followed that expression, rushing out to Oz's van and racing to the hospital. It was unusually quiet, probably because all the vampires knew something big was going to go down and had decided to stay in. The doctors wheeled Buffy off immediately, and then set about stitching the rest of us up. We were at a lost to explain how we got such wounds; muggers wouldn't try to hack off somebody's arm, and Giles was too old to be part of a gang. The nurse who saw to Angel, despite his protests, was very suspicious of the burns on his chest that were healing before her very eyes. They were burns sure, but not from fire. Angel stayed quiet on that one. Eventually we were left in peace in the waiting room for Buffy. She was wheeled out two hours later, fully awake, with her arm bandaged up and in a sling.
"It's a miracle. That much blood loss, and she's alive and kicking," the doctor had said, "We were going to give her a blood transfusion." Giles looked horrified, and I figured out why; someone else's blood would either dilute the Slayer's blood, or not mix with it at all. "It's healing incredibly fast. Superhumanly fast, one might say." The doctor chuckled.
So we've come back to the library, with pizza and soda, and now there's a comfortable silence. Oz is sitting next to me, Jenny and Giles are together in one corner, Xander and Cordelia are remarkably quiet on the stairs and Buffy is resting in Angel's lap, her head tucked under his chin. She is staring morosely at the floor, and Angel looks half asleep. Carefully Buffy shifts so that she can see us all more clearly.
"Thanks for following me into battle," she mumbles, "It means a lot to me." We smile, and she nods, settling back into her previous position. Giles clears his throat, standing and moving away from Jenny.
"Ah, how...I mean, what...?" he struggles to put into words what we've all been wondering. Why did Buffy freak out, how did she know what would open Acathla, and where is the old Buffy that wouldn't have cared half as much? It's not that I don't like this new version of Buffy, because I do. She's funny and friendly, like the old one, and much more willing to study. But she doesn't work on my wavelength anymore, and I would like to know why. Then maybe I can adjust myself. Buffy sighs in resignation, but doesn't move from her spot. She doesn't answer for a moment, and I wonder if she's forgotten that Giles said anything at all. Eventually she takes a deep breath and starts,
"At Graduation in 1999, something happened that completely destroyed me. I still had a body, and I still breathed, but I just couldn't go on living. It was like the world was coming to an end again, but this time it was my world and it was me that was ending. I couldn't handle the thing that happened, so I stole one of your books, Giles, and used it to turn back time." She pauses, waiting for any questions.
"You turned back time?" Xander asks incredulously. Buffy nods, and I notice that Angel, even though his eyes are closed and his head is bent forward, is rubbing her back soothingly.
"I turned back time so that I could stop it from happening again. And I'm going to do that, no matter what Fate has to say about it." Giles is standing stock still, looking extremely shocked. I frown. It does make a lot of sense. She does look older, and she's much more knowledgeable. "I came back for Angel," she adds in a whisper. I smile at that; that is typical Buffy.
With a sigh, she stands up, and Angel follows. The irony doesn't strike me as often anymore, but every now and then I'll realise how odd it is for a vampire to love a Slayer, and vice versa. But with practised ease I push the feeling aside. With waves good bye, they leave, and we are left with the knowledge that Buffy is just under two and half years older than we originally thought. In mind, she is over two years older than me. But she still likes me, so I'm not too worried. Or maybe I'm just too tired and sore to be worried.
In unspoken agreement, we all stand up and walk out, returning to our respective homes to try to sleep off the worst of the pain. At least I no longer have to worry so much about Buffy anymore.
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End