DISCLAIMER: Gundam Wing and its characters belong to Sotsu, Sunrise, and Bandai. Any original characters that appear in this story are my creative property.
Story Notes: Year A.C. 218, the morning after Relena tells Heero the news.

Man of the House
By Waltz195

Seated before an illuminated laptop screen, a lone figure typed away diligently, seeking any tidbit of information that could lead to the defeat of the threat that would soon reveal itself. His eyes narrowed as the screen remained blank and unyielding.

"Hn..." Heero mumbled defeatedly. "Not even a lousy parking ticket. What is this kid? A saint?"

He glared accusingly at his trusty laptop. "Is this how you repay me? After all those years of upgrading and making you the best there ever was...can't you get anything?" The illuminated screen gazed silently back at him.

"Well, at least he doesn't have a criminal record," Heero grumbled, looking over the information he had gathered about his latest 'adversary'.

Name: Derrick Farenroth
Date of Birth: June 25, AC 201
Blood type: AB
Hair color: Black
Eye color: Green
Status: Civilian
+Parents/Guardians: Dana and Frederick Farenroth III
+Siblings: None
+Current Residence: 321 Galaxia Drive, Golden Hills...
+Education:
Granston Educational Academy - Attended: AC 206 - AC 217
Saint Gabriel's Institute - Attended: AC 217 - Present
+Criminal Record:
Misdemeanors - None
Felonies - None

"I don't know if that's a good thing..." Heero reached over to the nearby desk for his cup of coffee and took a sip.

"I swear," a sleepy voice commented behind him. "Everytime one of the girls has a love interest, you always have to investigate them. Shame on you."

Heero swiveled his chair around to face a newly awakened Relena, her blond hair tousled from sleep. He smiled as she squinted against the light in the room. "Somebody's got to keep the sharks away," he answered, settling her into his lap to give her a light morning kiss.

"Hmm, whatever you say." Relena let out a delicate yawn. "What time is it?"

Heero looked over at his laptop. "About six fifteen. You have a meeting at eight thirty, right?"

Relena nodded. "With the Mars Terraforming Committee. They're concerned about trade rights, again."

"If Zechs had any sense, he would've resolved those disputes by now. Then, you wouldn't have to deal with them."

"You know he doesn't involve himself with politics anymore. Besides, I wouldn't have anything to do," Relena teased, standing up and stretching her arms over her head. She spied his coffe mug and reached for it.

"No, you don't." Heero grabbed the mug and moved it aside. "You're pregnant now. You know the rules."

Relena's features scrunched into a small pout. "You are so unfair."

Heero raised a brow but didn't answer. He stood up and turned to shut down his laptop.

"Come on," he urged, putting an arm around her. "Let's go to the kitchen. Kat has some pancakes ready."

Relena sighed. There was no winning with Heero when she was pregnant, even if it was still early on. He always insisted on seeing to her comfort, as if she were some invalid. Sometimes, it could become such an annoyance, but, it was a touching gesture all the same.

As they headed down to the kitchen, she could hear the sounds of the younger girls waking up and guessed the older ones were already downstairs. Another habit they had picked up from their father was rising at early hours. One which she herself did not participate in unless absolutely necessary.

"Hana! Stay away from those pancakes!"

And despite her political successes, peace and quiet was something not usually guaranteed in their household. As they entered the kitchen, they were greeted with the aroma of freshly made pancakes and a new battle brewing near the stove.

Hana had a fork in one hand, poised and ready to spear a stack of pancakes on the nearby counter. She was known for having a weakness for good food and an appetite to accomodate it. One would wonder if she had accidently been switched with a Maxwell child, as she had been teased of more than once.

Kat, on the defensive, was armed with a spatula, warily gazing at her twin, ready to protect the golden stack of flapjacks at a moment's notice. It seemed a great injustice that she had been blessed with great culinary skill and, as a result, had to suffer her twin devouring her creations before they even reached the table.

"Good morning, girls," Relena called, an amused smile on her face.

Kat turned her head to greet her and Hana seized the oppurtunity. "Hi, mo-Hey!" Kat shrieked just as Hana speared a pancake. "Why you-"

Hana was smart enough to know not to hang around any longer. She dashed out the back door, Kat darting after her. "Injustice!"

The two sisters disappeared outside, leaving their amused parents in their wake.

"They remind you of someone, don't they?" Relena asked, heading towards the stove.

Heero smirked. "That's what we get for letting them grow up with the kids of those lunatics."

"Speak for yourself," Relena countered, finishing the batch of pancakes on the stove. "I had a chat with Noin last week. It seems Ren is showing her aggressive side in her martial arts class these days. She knocked over a fifth grader during last week's competition, and I believe her exact words were 'Omae o korosu'." She turned and raised a brow. "Sound familiar?"

Heero tried to keep a straight face, but couldn't help feeling a bit proud of his young niece.

"I wondered if she'd ever stop letting those older kids bully her," he commented, sitting himself at the table.

"Heero, really. She's only seven years old," Relena countered, joining him at the table, a heaping plate of pancakes in hand.

"And the smallest student in her class," Heero defended. "She needs to learn to be confident in herself or they'll walk all over her. That's what the class is for. The only thing keeping them from doing so is the fact that Zechs is the Head Security Officer. But, there's nothing he can do about it. Kids are kids. So, it's up to her to stand up to them."

Relena mused over this while she ate. "It does seem too soon though, putting her in a martial arts class. I mean, sure, you started training the girls while they still wore diapers, but this is Ren we're talking about. She's like an angel. It just seems...ironic."

"Ironic?" Heero smirked. "Think about Matthew. Now, that is ironic."

Relena smiled. "Isn't it though? Imagine, a Maxwell that's actually quiet." The two shared a laugh.

The pitter-patter of little feet could be heard as Helen and Regena entered the kitchen. "Good morning!"

"Good morning," they answered, receiving the usual morning kisses and hugs. They all sat down at the table and started to eat. No doubt the others would find their way to the table soon enough.

At that moment, Mikomi walked in, dressed in her grey sweats, having finished her morning run. "Good morning," she greeted, heading towards the fridge for a glass of juice.

"Hello, dear. Did you see your sisters out there?" Relena asked.

"Yup," she answered. "Last I saw, they were headed for Mrs. Lornstern's azaleas. Expect a call from her this afternoon."

Relena groaned. The thought of dealing with the temperamental sixty year old widow was not something she looked forward to. Oh well, she wouldn't be there to handle it. Heero would. At that moment, Heero had come to the same conclusion and the frown on his face showed he was not pleased.

The twins chose that moment to walk in, covered in grass stains and creeping ivy. Hana's face was smeared with pancake crumbs and Kat's was adorned with a frown. Neither looked victorious.

"She sent Fluffy after you, didn't she?" Mikomi asked, closing the refrigerator door.

"I have no idea how a tiny speck of a dog can be so malicious," Hana grumbled, seating herself at the table.

"She probably slips steroids into his dog food," Kat answered, grabbing some bread from the pantry and headed towards the toaster. "How else could that Pomeranian pipsqueak jump a five-foot hedge?"

"Hn."

As the family continued their meal, the faint sound of a car engine could be heard approaching the house. It slowly pulled into the driveway and parked alongside the blue van. The occupant, aged and white-haired, departed from the vehicle and paused to smile up at the mansion he called home. He made his way to the trunk and began to unload his luggage.

"Oh, Pargan!" A sickeningly-sweet voice called to him from across the road. "You're back!"

All color drained from his face as he glanced behind him. What he saw confirmed his fears. "Oh, no..."

Faster than you would expect, he had slammed the trunk close and dashed towards the back of the house. For someone who was obviously no longer young, he could sure move fast. Knowing the kitchen entrance would be open, he quickly ducked inside and secured the door behind him. After a few moments to collect himself, he turned to face the curious occupants of the room.

"Good morning, madam, sir, young misses." The old man nodded to each in turn.

Relena smiled at him. "Hello, Pargan. You're back from your vaction early. Did you have a good time?"

Pargan simply nodded. "As good a time as could be had, considering English weather has not changed since I was a boy."

"I told you to opt for Tahiti," Hana commented. "But then again, you'd turn extra crispy five minutes on the beach."

"Undoubtedly so, Miss Hana."

"Was that Mrs. Lornstern who caused you to barrel in here a minute ago?" Heero asked, sipping his coffee.

"Like a pack of hounds, sir," Pargan replied, a cringe marring his wrinkled face. "I have no idea why that woman insists on pestering me."

"Pargan," Mikomi spoke up, her voice slightly amused. "You may know how to hack a computer, fire weapons and uncover government secrets, but you sure are clueless when it comes to a woman's heart."

"Why does that seem so familiar?" Relena commented dryly, sliding a glance at her husband, who was currently very interested in his morning paper.

"Well, you won't have to worry about her, old boy," Kat assured him. "You can drop us off at school today. That way she won't have a reason to come visit you. Until later, anyway."

"And you can stay out as late as you want," Regena implied, finishing her milk before standing up and depositing her dish in the washer.

"That's a good idea, Miss Regena. Maybe I will." Pargan headed off to his quarters, located to the far back of the house.

Unlike other households in their secure, upper-crust neighborhood, the Yuy family had only one servant; who wasn't exactly a servant, since they were a rather independent bunch. But as they considered him a part of the family, they had never questioned his place in the household, despite his age. He was like a surrogate grandfather to them all and known for being calm in moments of a crisis.

"Speaking of school," Helen added, looking at the clock on the wall. "We'd better get ready."

"Just a moment, girls," Relena called out just as they started to file upstairs. "Your father and I would like to speak to you about something."

The five girls stilled and glanced covertly at each other before slowly heading back to the kitchen. It was a little too early for their mother to be giving lectures; something was not right, and that usually meant trouble. Lining up from youngest to oldest, they stood before their parents, looking for all the world like they were facing a firing squad.

"Now, girls," Relena began, calmly taking Heero's hand in hers. "Your father and I have been talking and-"

"Alright! We confess!" Regena wailed suddenly. "We were launching rockets in the yard last night. We're sorry!" She promptly burst into tears.

Even without her name being mentioned, Helen stood next to her sister, looking guilty and uncomfortable. Hiding their emotions as well as their father wasn't something they had learned just yet. Especially considering they were facing both their parents.

Relena blinked and looked to her husband. "Did you know about this?"

Heero simply shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe."

She shook her head in exasperation and looked back at her youngest daughter. "It's alright, Gena," she spoke soothingly, using her daughter's nickname. "That's not what I was going to talk about."

The young girl immediately stopped bawling and stared at her mother. "It's not?" She breathed a sigh of relief.

Relena smiled and shook her head. "No. What I was going to say is, your father and I are very happy to tell you all that..." she paused suspensefully. "We're going to have a baby." Her smile grew wider. "And it's a boy."

The girls were shocked, to say the least.

Kat pinched Hana's arm to make sure they weren't dreaming. Her twin's brain failed to notice the pain, her eyes wide and unblinking. Regena looked as if she had just seen a real rocket launch and Mikomi checked her ears to make sure she wasn't hearing things. Helen was the most composed of the bunch, she simply dropped her jaw.

After a beat of silence, Relena spoke again. "See, sweetheart?" She directed the endearment to Regena. "Wishes do come true."

All at once the girls pounced on their parents, laughing, crying, shrieking with delight as they congratulated and thanked them simultaneously. Regena was jumping up and down, already imagining playing dress-up with her new baby brother. Beside her, Kat was calculating how much money they'd need to buy him a chic designer baby wardrobe; only the best would do. The other three girls, being sports advocates, contemplated the athletic future of the soon-to-be addition to their family.

"I'll teach him how to throw a mean curveball," Hana forecasted, nodding with certainty. "He'll be the star of the baseball team."

Mikomi snorted. "Not likely. I'm going to make him the best player in the entire volleyball league. Besides me, of course."

"He's going to play center for our soccer club," Helen stated with staunch authority. "That's final."

As the girls started to argue over what extracurricular activities their brother would participate in, their parents watched with pride and silent amusement. The boy wasn't even born yet and already his sisters were meddling in his life.

Pargan chose that unfortunate moment to walk in and was given the privilege of being asked for his opinion on the subject. Surprised and delighted by the news of a new addition to the family, he suggested lacrosse, and was promptly glared at by three miffed females.

The old man was wise enough to know when to retreat. He hastily congratulated Relena and Heero, then hurried outside to prepare the van. One outraged Yuy female was tricky enough, three were just plain dangerous.

"Alright," Heero called, silencing their chatter. "I'm sure you know this will be a big change for all of us. We love you all equally, and the new baby, as well. Things may be a bit hectic at first, but that won't change anything. Understood?"

The five girls nodded in understanding, especially the older siblings. It was sometimes easy to feel jealous of a new baby around the house, commanding all the attention of their parents. But they would be too overjoyed to even think that.

Remembering the time, the five youths quickly headed upstairs to prepare for school, talking and laughing exictedly, leaving their parents behind to discuss certain matters.

"Who's on duty for you today?" Heero asked, clearing the rest of the table and heading towards the sink.

"Ferguson and Turfe," Relena replied, joining him to deposit the plates in the dishwasher.

He nodded. "Good. They're competent enough to guard you."

"Considering you trained them yourself, ne?" she teased, heading upstairs to prepare for her meeting.

Smiling as she left, Heero walked outside to wait with Pargan as the girls got ready.

In record time, the Yuy girls were ready to leave thirty minutes later. And what a sight they were, outfitted in the impressive maroon dress uniforms of St. Gabriel's Institute, pleated and pressed, white blouses immaculate.

"Hana, your brooch isn't on straight, and your bow is skewed."

"Oh, no! Call the fashion police!" Her twin feigned outright horror, before rolling her eyes in exasperation. "Geez, Kat...give me a break."

"And what's that suppose to mean!"

"Now, now, young misses. In you go, school is waiting." Pargan patiently held the van door open as the girls filed inside.

"No rockets this year, Gena. Better stick with the volcano model," Heero commented. He gazed around warily before handing her a small packet. "A little blast powder wouldn't hurt though."

"Sure, Dad," Regena smiled knowingly. This information would never reach her mother's ears.

After the last little Yuy was safely buckled into her seat, the car backed out the driveway, but not before they were able to wave to their father and mother, who had just stepped outside. A moment later, they drove down the street and were soon out of sight.

"What time are you suppose to report in?" Relena asked, seating herself in the car as her husband settled into the driver's side.

"Around eleven o'clock," Heero answered, driving out of their subdivision and heading towards ESUN headquarters. "I'm attending an officers' meeting, but I don't deliver my report until twelve."

"Great! Then you can tell everybody the news."

"What?" he asked absently, as he manuevered his way through traffic.

"You can tell everyone I'm pregnant. I didn't tell anyone else because I wanted you to be the first to know."

Heero cringed a bit, expecting everyone's reactions. Especially Duo's. He'd laugh and go on and on about Heero's convergence to family man. And Zechs'. The former Oz soldier hadn't exactly been ecstatic when he learned that his sister was going to marry a former Gundam pilot, even if they had come to terms years before. He was still her older brother, after all.

"Even Zechs?"

"Well, considering this will be his first nephew, yes, I'd say he'd probably want to know."

"Couldn't we wait until, say, the baby's born?" he asked, as they approached ESUN headquarters. His wife snorted in answer.

After passing through a rigorous security check, they pulled up near the entrance and Heero escorted her through the front office. At the elevators, she posed another question.

"Heero? If it isn't too much trouble, could you drop by the department store later?"

"For?" He watched as the elevator's floor indicator came down to their level.

"Well, I checked our 'reserves' earlier and we're a little low."

Heero turned to his wife slowly, a grim expression on his face. "You don't mean..."

"Yes. Kat's been crabby lately, so that means we'll need them in a few days."

He hung his head dejectedly. 'Why me?'

The elevator reached their floor and Relena stepped in, pressing a button. "And don't make the same mistake as last time."

"Or there'll be hell to pay," Heero grumbled, already familiar with the repercussions of failing this particular type of 'mission'.

There were certain disadvantages to having a family full of women. This was one of them.

"It's not that bad, koibito," Relena assured him, kissing his cheek. "Just make sure they're the right kind, ok?" He nodded. "I love you. See you later!"

"Love you, too," Heero answered, as the doors closed and the elevator traveled to another floor.

As he left the complex, Heero couldn't help but wonder if he was less of a man than he had been at fifteen-well, he had been a boy actually-but that was besides the point.

'Of course not!' Heero argued with himself. 'I haven't gone soft. Sure, I have a family now, but I'm still considered one of the best experienced military personnel in the whole of the Earth Sphere. I was even a Gundam pilot!'

Fifteen minutes later, the former 'Perfect Soldier', Heero Yuy, was browsing through the women's section of a local department store, looking for what normal men would shudder to think about... Pads and tampons.

Immediately afterward, he made a beeline for the medicine aisle and picked up two types of painkillers. One for his girls and one for himself. He'd learned over the years that a man could never have enough painkillers in a house full of overactive hormones.

Yessiree. There were certain disadvantages to having a family full of women. This was definitely one of them.

Japanese terms:
ne - Right?
koibito - Endearment meaning 'love', pertaining to a person

Notes:
-Little Heero Jr. (or whatever his name is) will be the only son of the Yuy's, because, well, I can't imagine the world surviving more than one, can you?
-I'm evil, I know...but it was bound to present itself sooner or later...(cackle cackle choke cough) xx;

Author's Babble:
W195: Great. I've gotten even cornier than before. Oy... --;
Quatre: I think it's kinda cute!
W195: Just wait, Winner. I haven't gotten to you yet.
(A disgruntled Heero and Pargan approach; they don't look happy...)
Heero: How could you...Why do I...Omae o korosu! (glares)
Pargan: Madam! I would like to know why you depicted me as the interest of that...strange woman!
W195: Relax guys. It's only a fic. Just be glad I didn't expound on it.
Heero & Pargan: --
W195: If you've read this far, that actually means that you like these moments of lunacy which were randomly picked from the recesses of what was once known as my brain. Sorry if I'm a little late in my updating...things are as hectic as ever...but I won't bore you with the details.
Heero: How kind of you...
W195: Anyway, I'll probably post the new chapter sometime next week...depending on reviews of course...
Heero: (glares) Don't encourage her...
W195: But Heero, we haven't even gotten to the good part yet...you have to tell everyone the news...and of course...the birth!
Heero: . Nani?
W195: Well, R/R and we'll see what happens next time... Ja ne!

For those of you who have read the story before, I meant to add the part about telling the Yuy girls about the pregnancy...I just kinda forgot. o; Luckily, the girls were kind enough to inform me of my error and I've inputted it. (aside to girls) There! Happy?
Yuy Girls: (glare) About time...

Anyway, remember to read, review and reflect on the madness of this fic. P

Chapter 2-Completed: August 2001, Revised: March 2002, Re-revised: November 2003, Re-re-revised: May 2005.