Relena moved silently down the white washed halls, her crystal eyes not really see that which was before her

I do not own Gundam Wing.

 

Hello all! Just a little note here: These are two versions of the same story.  The first is as seen through Relena's eyes. The second is Heero's. Anyways I hope you like them…I suffered through two anxiety attacks just writing them ^_^. Please review and tell me what you think!

Beyond the Eyes: Relena

Relena moved silently down the white washed halls, her crystal eyes not really seeing that which was before her. She followed her guide without question, wild emotions flooding through her small form, though try as she might she could not sort through them. There were simply to many to name. The air around her smelled poignantly of antiseptic and other medicines, along with the sent of death and birth, of pain and joy. She wrinkled her noise in distaste, She passed nurses and soldiers alike, who neither spoke nor glanced her way as they hurried about their separate tasks.

Sally finally came to a stop outside a door that was much the same as every other door they passed. She smiled reassuringly, laying briefly a hand upon Relena's already trembling shoulder and walked away. For a moment Relena did not move. Frozen with fear, she tried to work out in her mind what it was she was here to do. Two days before she had received word that Heero had been badly injured in his last mission; he had been brought, near death, to this hospital. Even now thinking back to that day, and even knowing that he was alive and well, Relena could fell tears forming in her eyes, but she brushed them away angrily. She had no time for them now.

Earlier that morning Duo and the other pilots had come to her informing her that Heero was awake and that they needed her help. Though their work was not quite over, the gundam pilots were all looking towards the future and what it may hold for them, all that was, except for Heero. He spoke nothing of his past to them and did not seem to think at all about his future, seeming to believe that he had none; at least that was what Duo thought, given his style of fighting. Everyone present at that meeting knew how she felt for him, and all there had given their assurances that he felt the same, though even now Relena held her doubts. Duo had feared that they were losing him as time went on, that left to his own private nightmares he was becoming even more withdrawn and reckless.

Relena had not seen him since that conference almost a year ago when he had disappeared. The other pilots knew where he was but she had forced herself not to ask, hoping beyond hope that he would come back to her. It would seem that those hopes were misplaced. At that thought an anger that knew no boundaries rose within her. She fought to gain control of it. She knew that if she was to be of any help she had to enter the room with a clear mind. The four gundam pilots and Sally had done everything they could to keep Heero at the hospital, knowing that Relena was the only one who could possibly break through the barriers that were leading him to his death. She prayed that it was possible, for though Heero was silent and dangerous the other pilots had come to look upon him as a brother, and did not want to lose him.

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts Relena walked forward towards the door that beyond held the confrontation she both wished and feared. Staying her nerves and emotions Relena looked through the tinted glass of the door, and her heart raced, any calm she may have had before was gone. Heero paced the room beyond; stripped to the waist he wore a pair of blue jeans, his hands crammed into the pockets. Bandages covered his chest and right arm, though he looked more a caged animal than someone who only days before had nearly lost their life. Relena's breath caught in her throat, as she watched him walk by, his strong body tense, he had not changed in the least.

Taking a deep breath to return some form of calm to her mind Relena opened the door, a door, she noticed, that could only be opened from her side. Yes, they had done everything in their power to keep him there. All in the hopes that she might be able to restore some heart to this fallen angel. Heero's head came up as she entered, and for a instant his eyes held a gentleness that was beyond words, a promise of protection that could never be broken, and a love more ardent than any she had ever known. It however was gone in a second buried once more behind his walls a thousand times thicker than they had been moments before. He moved without looking to the far side of the white room, a room Relena noticed that held no windows and the ventilation shaft was too small for a child to fit through. Cameras monitored the room and though she had been told that they would be shut off somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that Duo would find some way around Sally. She pushed the thought away.

Leaning against the door she felt the rift that was between them most keenly. She folded her hands together, and watched as Heero folded his arms across his chest, eyes watching but not meeting hers. Relena could hardly believe that it was him, standing before her. The time they had been apart felt far longer than it had actually been. At first glance he looked the same but Relena looked closer and saw what she had first missed, for years Heero had hidden his emotions claiming that he had none, but now she could almost make out their existence. It was as if he had no room left in him to hide what he felt, there was a haunted look about his Prussian eyes that tore at her heart, and she wanted nothing more than to hold him. For a second she was about to move, but again she could feel the rift, an opened wound begging to be healed, though she knew not were to start.

Finally he did glance at her though the haunted look was gone and he was the perfect soldier once more. He studied her without expression, and Relena wonder what it was that she should say first. "How are you feeling?" she asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. Heero did not answer his eyes distant and the haunted look returned, shaking his head it passed once more. "It's been so long." She spoke more to herself than him but his head came up eyes watching intently.

"Why did you come?" his voice held no emotion. Nothing. It was devoid of everything, and Relena's heart sank fearing that she was to late to do him any good. She remembered instantly the feelings that had passed through his eyes upon seeing her, his humanity was still present just buried deeper than she had ever imagined.

"It's been eight months, Duo told me you were injured and I…I just wanted to make sure you were all right." She forced herself to watch his eyes trying to see if her word had any effect on him at all, she saw nothing.

"Duo…" He said the name without emotion and he seemed to battle something within himself, some hidden demon that tormented him in both sleep and wakefulness.

Relena did not miss the opportunity; "They're worried about you."

His head snapped up Prussian eyes dead; "Worried for me?" A half smirk touched his lips. It chilled her, for it never reached his eyes. "They should worry for their own lives. Mine means nothing to the world." It was not a statement made to draw him pity but merely a statement of fact, which they should all come to accept and be done with it.

Relena could not help the tear that rolled from her eye at his words. Had he given up on himself years ago? Was there nothing left in him but the need to complete his mission no matter the cost to himself, or those who loved him? Perhaps he thought himself unworthy of the love that was offered, or perhaps he was afraid of what accepting that love would mean. In either case it did not matter. "Heero you're wrong, every life has meaning if not for that person, than for the one who loves him." She was surprised at the adamant tone her voice held as she locked eyes with him, crystal and Prussian blues never parting gazes. She cared not for what her statement implied for it was how she truly felt and she had to make him see that.

He seemed to whisper something under his breath, words she could not make out, and once more his eyes became haunted, but they flashed to steal almost instantly. "I am the Perfect Soldier."

"What is that supposed to mean?!" Relena could feel her anger rising, "That your humanity is gone?"

"Dead and buried."

"You lie. I have seen it, in your eyes when you look at me. Though you try and bury it, I have seen it." She pushed away from the wall taking a step towards him without thinking.

"What difference does it make?" Though his voice never changed his eyes held anger she could not begin to measure. Anger at himself and those around him, at how his life had turned out. She could not begin to comprehend his feelings.

"What difference?" She was incredulous, "All the difference in the world! Your life means something to the other gundam pilots and myself. They look upon you as a brother, haven't you noticed?"

"I need no help."

"Your first mistake." Relena was crying openly now, the rift was not becoming any smaller, only larger. "Not even you can make it through life alone, no matter how hard you try. They taught you to be a perfect soldier, and I'd kill them myself if I could. There is not a person alive who deserves what has been done to you." Words spilled out of her mouth without thought, she was desperate now, her hope almost gone.

Heero studied her silently; emotions passing through his eyes that she could not name, ones he seemed not to even know were there. And for the briefest second the barriers were down and he lay bare before her, like a small child. The moment was gone instantly and he was the Perfect Soldier once more. "You chose the wrong person to care for."

"What right do you have to make that decision for me?!" She shook her head in frustration, tears flying from her tightly closed eyes. Finally she looked into his eyes her heart racing once more as she was over powered with her feeling for the young man that stood before her with eyes like death. "I love you!" The words were spoken without any regrets, her anger forgotten; only hurt was left as there was no reaction in his Prussian eyes.

He said nothing for a moment his eyes watching her and again the haunted look returned only this time it did not leave. He seemed to be watching something that was not there. He stopped eyes glinting, and he locked them on hers. "You remind me of her…" his voice was quiet but still dead, and Relena wonder who it was that he was speaking of.

"Who Heero?"

"After what I did I don't deserve your love." He looked away head down.

Relena's anger rose anew and she could not hold it back, "Damnit Heero you are no monster! You're a human being, why won't you see that?!"

"Am I not a monster? When I look at you I remember…" he trailed off once more as if speaking brought back memories he'd rather forget.

"Who do I remind you of Heero?! What is it that haunts you?! What is it that drives you to your death?!" Relena was becoming more desperate by the moment.

"How many more time must I kill her?!!! TELL ME!!!…How many?…" It was the first time he had raised his voice. A thousand questions ran through her mind then, who was it that Heero regretted killing? A family member perhaps, someone else he once loved. That thought stung her, she quickly pushed her questions aside when she saw the look in Heero's eyes, and it was hurt greater than she had ever felt in her entire life. It seemed to reach beyond the depths of eternity.

Relena knew not what to say to him, he looked away trying to regain his composure. She stepped forward then, placing one slim hand upon his arm, and he flinched away from her touch but still did not look up. "Heero I don't understand." She spoke softly, soothingly, as if talking to a wild animal. "But I do know that there is nothing that you could have done that would make me stop loving you." Her words brought forth no reaction.

He looked at her, in his eyes there was such a need, and longing that her breath was stolen from her. His Prussian eyes were so lonely that she could not help but sob. "Put the past behind you Heero, learn to trust us."

Heero shook his head running a hand through his unruly hair, "It's not so simple." Tenderly he brushed the tears from her eyes; "I will not risk losing someone again."

Relena did not hesitate, "Then that person is already lost to you. Please Heero don't force me away, I don't want to lose you." Heero's eyes held that love once more and he moved towards her one hand moving about her back and the other cupping her chin bring her lips to his. She was shocked but did not resist his actions only threw all her love in behind the kiss she returned.

He gently pulled back his face once more unreadable but Relena saw the difference, his eyes were no longer dead. Finally had he been given something to fight for. She could tell from his eyes that he knew his life meant something to her. Relief flooded through her. For the longest time she had thought him lost, that nothing she said or did would ever be able to bring back even a semblance of the man he had been before his training. But she had done it. She had worked through all of his walls and barriers and found her protector. The man she loved when they had first met. Though even then he had been the Perfect Soldier, he had become harder as time passed.

Heero pulled her close and Relena submitted herself to the feel of his strong arms about her small body, "I love you." He whispered the words into her ear, and for a moment she could hardly believe them to be real. He quickly brought his own lips over hers, tears fell from Relena's eyes as she kissed Heero, and she had made him human once more.

The End.