AN-so this is a depressing little song fic for a depressing little person. Agh. I know I haven't been back in ages ... but there's been. stuff. Going on and all that. My next chapter to Return To Me is up ... loll, cuz I didn't get any reviews ... um, so I command you to go read it! lol
School's started ... and stuff ... and it's depressing because I haven't really got many friends in my core. Only a few ... rather annoying. acquaintances. Well, ... one of them is really nice. but she's. Shy and doesn't talk much. I know someone from last year. and he's my friend and all. But when we hung out last year we re accused of going out. Not a good situation. lol...
Anyways.. This has been a long author's note. but this is how I've been feeling lately. It's to "Ana's Song" by Silverchair ... lol. I wanna hug Daniel Johns! (the lead singer).


*



Please die Ana,
For as long as you're here we're not
You make the sound of laughter
and sharpened nails seem softer

**

Hermione looked into the mirror, detesting the girl who looked back at her. All she saw was pain and misery... a girl that no one could ever love.
It was her 7th year and she was a prefect... and yet nothing she did seemed good enough. Top marks didn't feel as good as they used to.
All she had was Ana.

***
And I need you now somehow
And I need you now somehow

***

She had managed to scrape through meals, missing the rewarding taste of food, but cursing herself for wanting it.
Ana said it was weak. Ana said she'd get fat.
What Ana says, goes.

****
Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you

*****


Hermione had always been a smart, logical child. She minded her parents, did her work diligently, and knew about almost everything. before Ana came, Hermione knew all about her, too.
And now she's wearing rose colored glasses, pretending not to feel the pain.

******
Imagine pageant
In my head the flesh seems thicker
Sandpaper tears corrode the film
And I need you now somehow
And I need you now somehow

*******

Ana was only a visitor when she first showed up in fourth year. Hermione thought she would pass.
Hermione thought wrong.
No matter how hard she tried, she could not shake her. Ana was her sister, her friend for life.

********
Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you

*********

She had always wondered if Harry and Ron were her friends out of pity. Or perhaps they needed her for her knowledge. They couldn't possibly like her for who she was.
Or that's what Ana said, anyway.

**********
And you're my obsession
I love you to the bones
And Ana wrecks your life
Like an Anorexia life

***********

Hermione hadn't truly eaten in years. Every now and then, she'd binge ... and sometimes she'd have small helpings, then exercise until she burned the calories off. She used to eat and then induce vomiting just to get the food out of her stomach.
She could see her bloodshot eyes, her empty soul. She could feel the hollow nothingness she had. What she could never see was how frail she had gotten, and now much Harry and Ron had grown to worry about her.

************
Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you

*************

All she knew was Ana, and the comfort she felt when she was with her. She sat staring, blank and emotionless as Ana sucked the life out of her. She could no longer see the friends she had worried so deeply, or teachers who feared she would break.
There was only Ana. Nothing more.

**************
Open fire on the needs designed
Open fire on my knees desires
On my knees for you

**************

She lay on the cold stone of the bathroom floor, wishing to be free. She prayed that Ana would go, yet pleaded with Ana to stay. Ana was her addiction, her comfort, her life.
And she lays on the bathroom floor, feeling tears roll down her face, wishing to be free.

*

AN - yikes that was more depressing than I thought it would be. and for those of you who don't know, Ana isn't a person. Ana is short for Anorexia nervosa, in which the person starves themselves. It's the biggest and fastest growing problem among teenage girls, and is also seen in teen age guys, but not as much.
there's a lot of pain with Ana... Ana is like. a voice that tells you what to do ... and criticizes you if you eat. Anorexia is an eating disorder, along with bulimia nervosa ... in which the person eats extreme amounts of food, (it could be as much as a whole bad of cookies and an entire cake at once) and then makes themselves throw up to prevent weight gain. There are a lot of variations of Ana and leah/Mia(bulimia).. I guess Hermione would be a starving Ana.
Eating disorders aren't fun. So. stay away from them ... and. yeah review!