Disclaimers: 'The X-Files' and all characters associated with the show are not mine, so you can't sue me!!! They belong to Chris Carter and the FOX network. And fanfiction.net is just somewhere I hang out on the internet (yes. I know that's not possible but everyone knows what I mean. Right?)
Rating: PG-13
Timeline: Before the fall of the Group that CSM and all his friends were in.
Synopsis: Mulder, Scully and anyone else I might happen to include go on-line to find out why fanfiction.net isn't working. It's in response to I think a fanfic challenge either Clever Young Thief or Luke Skywalker set on one of the Mailing Lists.
Why ff.net isn't quite working yet
(The X-Files reason and explanation by DemonicDestructress)
"Damn!" cursed Scully. Mulder looked up.
"What wrong? Frohike sent you another website of himself posing?" he asked sarcastically.
"No. Fanfiction.net still isn't working. I really wanted to use the authors' directory." He looked at her confused. "It's a website with stories and spoofs and stuff."
"Global conspiracies?" Mulder asked hopefully.
"No... But they have stories about... us..." she trailed off whilst Mulder blushed.
"Let's find out why this site is down!"
The Lone Gunmen's offices, half an hour later.
"Guys, you ever heard of fanfiction.net?" Mulder asked.
"Yeah. Byers' writes some NC-17 stuff in the off-season. The moderators are saying that it's still having problems. But we know differently."
"Yeah. What?" Scully asked cautiously .
"Look at the video we downloaded." Mulder and Scully looked at a computer monitor. "Oh my god. That's the Smoking Man! And Krycek! And a couple of Samantha clones. And they look like they're downloading something."
"Then we recovered this e-mail," informed Byers.
From : Michele Savage bizzara@infenet.com
To : Fanfictionnetwrites fanfictionnetwriters@yahoogroups.yahoo.com
Reply to: Fanfictionnetwrites fanfictionnetwriters@yahoogroups.yahoo.com
Subject : ADMIN Site Update
As all of you know, Xing has partially restored fanfiction.net but the authors' directory has been shut down. It's to help find out if there are any lasting bugs on the system.
Biz Michele Savage bizzara@infenet.com
"The SMOKING MAN IS THE MODERATOR OF THE FF.NET MAILING LIST?" Scully asked a tad bit louder than necessary.
"Yeah. And when we got into the computer it looked like they had downloaded a huge chunk of fanfiction. Then we noticed that he and his friends had downloaded all of the NC-17 fanfic that's on the whole of fanfiction.net. Each section lost some stories. The TV and Anime sections lost the most stories. Byers' first NC-17 was taken."
"Out of interest here. Byers' what was your first NC-17 called?" Scully inquired.
"Um..." He looked around uncomfortably. "'Flames' in the TV section," he told her while shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
"Oh my god! That one? Where's the sequel?"
"OK people. Problem at hand. What are we gonna do about the Smoking Man?"
"Nothing Agent Mulder. You're just going to go home and...," he takes a long drag from his cigarette, "read for a little while."
"Bloody hell! How did you get in here?" Frohike stammered.
"The door was open..."
"Fox?"
"Samantha? OK you black lunged bastard, which one of these is my sister?" Mulder asked while pointing at the Samantha quints.
"None of 'em are, cause I am!" Krycek whispered evilly.
"All they need now is the English bitch and the group would be complete."
"How did you know Diana Fowley was one of us?" Krycek asked.
"Her screensaver was a load of aliens taking over the world and your head, the Smoking Man's head, a Samantha clone's head and her head was stuck on some of the alien bodies.
"But why all the NC-17 stuff?" Scully whined.
"The Smoking Man jacks off to them. Some of that stuff was pretty heat inducing."
"Shit! I had a couple of originals up there. Did I just say that out loud?" Scully asked. Everyone nodded. "I was afraid that I did."
"Can you please re-load all the NC-17s back up? PLEASE?" Mulder begged. "Otherwise Scully'll start whining and complaining!" Mulder moaned.
"We will. For a price," the Smoking Man told them.
"Yeah, name it!" Mulder replied.
"Can you give us Gerties' site address? I really want to read the fanfic that's there! Please?" the Smoking Man wheezed.
"Yeah, I can," Mulder told him. Scully looked questioningly at him. "I'll explain later. Anyway it's
"Yes. There you go. Now we'll make our disappearance. Good-bye..." And with that, the Smoking Man, Krycek and the Samnatha quints, left the building.
Outside the Lone Gunmen offices, 2 minutes later.
"You stupid piece of cigarette ash! You gave them the disk with the stories on and not the blank!" Alex shouted.
"D'oh!" exclaimed the CSM. "Oh well. We'll just hack into Gerties'."
The end (Hopefully not Gerties' though!)
Author's notes: This was written when the site was actally completely down and I was bored, and stuck with ideas for a Reyes/Scully slash fic I'm someday going to finish writing one day. Oh and another disclaimer: I don't own Gerties' site either. Wish I did though. If anyone is wondering, "Why did she put down Gerties' site insted of Gossamer?" I'll tell you, it because I can remember Gerties' site addy and I can't remember Gossamer site addy.
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