"Evil Dead: The Series" Episode 7
"Evil Dead-icated Followers Of Fishin'"
By: Cathbad
TEASER
Suburbs of Detriot. A S-Mart store. Store manager "Bud" Palmenterri has Ash Williams standing before his flimsy desk - which isn't much more than a rectangular table with a few odds and ends on it.
Ash's face is in a scowl. He holds a crumpled piece of color paper in his hand.
ASH: Massachusetts? Fer God's sake, why can't we just go to Lake Huron?
BUD: The idea is deep sea fishing. Lake Huron is a lake, therefore it's out-of-the question.
Ash opens the colored paper. It is an announcement of a company wide week of meetings, to be held at a "seaside resort".
ASH: (reads) "whale watching, golf, swimming, deep sea fishing .." Look, change
"deep sea fishing" to "fishing" and reprint the flyers.
BUD: It's not my call, Ash. It's S-Mart, not me. Besides, you can't whale watch at Lake Huron.
ASH: Not everyone has seen Richard Simmons' info-mercials.
BUD: We're going Ash, and that's all there is to it. Unless you want to run the store for a week, and I'll take Rammer with me.
Ash furrows his brow.
ASH: No, no. Teddy can mind the store. I don't want to miss my big chance to hobnob with the godfathers of S-Mart.
BUD: That's what I want to hear. The chain is expanding Ash. Get used to Massachusetts while we're there. You might get your own store someday.
ASH: Boston?
BUD: Nah, probably one of those crappy dead mill towns, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Bud leads Ash to the door.
BUD: And Ash ...
ASH: Yeah?
BUD: Bring a date!
ACT ONE
INT- ASH'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Ash and Scotty Jarvis, an old high school friend, are sitting on the couch, watching a shopping channel. The dolled-up, porcelain hostess switches from whatever the last product was, and starts to push a "cut rate" case of paperback books that have slight smoke damage, and are in great condition. At the sight of the paperback 'Necronomicon', Ash leaps for the remote and begins to surf frantically.
Scotty doesn't seem to notice.
SCOTTY: Go for it. At least S-Mart is paying for it.
ASH: No, I'm paying for it. Sitting with a bunch of those stuffed suits who know nothing about life in the trenches, listening to them babble for week straight. Stuck in some hick New England sea town ... and now for an encore, I have to bring a date with me.
SCOTTY: Too bad Rammer has to mind the store. He's kinda cute.
Ash glares.
SCOTTY: It was a joke. (beat) I'm tellin' ya, ask Jesinia.
ASH: No.
SCOTTY: Yes.
ASH: No! I've told you before - she's just a kid.
SCOTTY: And I've told you before, she's more than a kid, and she's got the hots for you.
ASH: All the more reason not to lead her on.
On cue, the door opens and Jesinia, a pretty blonde young twenty-something tomboy comes in the front door with a grocery bag.
SCOTTY: (whispers) I'd follow that lead anywhere.
Ash elbows him.
JESINIA: Here's your munchies and cheap beer.
Jesinia puts down the bag on the coffee table and takes the love seat to herself.
SCOTTY: Thanks, doll.
They each take a can of beer and sip thoughtfully watching screaming, fighting white trash on "The Jerry Springer Show".
JESINIA: What's new?
ASH: Noth..
SCOTTY: Fishing.
JESINIA: Fishing?
If looks could kill, Scotty would be dead thanks to Ash.
SCOTTY: S-Mart is doing a company retreat, and Ash gets to go.
JESINIA: Cool!
SCOTTY: And he needs to bring a date.
Jesinia isn't sure what to say. Scotty looks expectantly at Ash. Ash finally speaks.
ASH: Not that it is a date or anything. I mean, I wasn't even thinking of it .. or of you for it. Scotty just likes to speak up when his brain isn't working and ..
JESINIA: I'll go.
ASH: You will?
JESINIA: Hey, if it's all expenses paid to ...
INT - SZABO'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Once again, we see only snatches of Szabo behind his desk. Fisk, the stocky underling, reads from a colored flyer.
FISK: .. to Innsmouth.
Fisk reacts nervously while watching Szabo's off-screen reaction. Beside Fisk stands a professional and harsh looking blonde woman, wearing reflective glasses.
BLONDE: Damn.
SZABO: (sighs) I really must pay more attention to the details of my various ventures.
My own employees throwing a company gathering at Innsmouth. (laughs with light irony)
Szabo and the Blonde are quiet. Too quiet.
FISK: What's the matter? We've seen the Federal documents. Back in the twenties, the government sterilized the town under the cover of a liquor raid. They destroyed the reef with enough dynamite to stop a small army.
The Blonde and Szabo pause and then continue as if Fisk was never part of the conversation to begin with.
BLONDE: It would be of no concern if Williams wasn't attending.
SZABO: But he is. (beat) So, what are we going to do about it?
EXT - ROAD - DUSK
A rickety old bus, that seems to be no later model than early sixties, drives past a town limit sign - 'Innsmouth - Est. 1655'. The terrain is sparsely wooded and sandy. Dunes with long wild grass are evident. If not for the rolling dunes, the land would be entirely flat.
INT - BUS - DUSK
The bus is full of S-Mart executives, junior executives, managers, assistant managers and their companions - nearly forty or so people, and everyone looks uncomfortable and not rested.
Jesinia rubs her cramped neck as she yawns. She nudges Ash, and he wakes up bleary eyed and none better for the wear.
JESINIA: All expenses paid, huh?
ASH: So, it's a bus, not a plane. Sue me. Why'd you wake me up anyway? I can get through this week if I just sleep the entire time - I've had practice.
JESINIA: (nods at the window) We're here.
EXT - BUS - DUSK
The bus passengers slowly climb out of the bus and onto the street. Many of the buildings are in bad condition, or even boarded up. There are no cars or pedestrians.
The place is a ghost town.
The bus pulls away. Everyone is silent. Across the street is the only building with lights on. A few burn on the extended porch, and from the interior of the entrance door. It is a small, turn-of-the-century hotel. The sign on the front simply reads, "HOTEL".
Ash surveys the bleak surroundings, and frowns at most of the other people. They have no clue about what they should be doing.
ASH: This must be the place.
Ash grabs his bags from the luggage pile and strides toward the hotel.
ASH: And if it isn't, I'm renting a bed, anyway.
Jesinia is at his side.
JESINIA: Sounds good.
Ash doesn't break stride, but his face shows some confusion. He's not sure how to take Jes's last statement. He lets it lie.
INT - HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT
The lobby is nearly as deserted as the town. A rack of tourism pamphlets stands nearly empty, and the few pamphlets are simple black and white printed affairs that are yellow with age.
No one is about. Ash rings the bell on the counter.
Jes lets out a squeaky gasp as a man shambles out from a back room. He is rotund, and has enormous eyes on a face that seems too flat and too round. His mouth is tiny, and perfectly round. His skin has an unhealthy touch of a gray, shiny pallor. His hands are fat and rubbery. Without a word he pulls a ledger out from under the counter and holds out a pen waiting for Ash to sign.
Ash jabs a thumb over his shoulder.
ASH: We're with the S-Mart party.
The man shrugs, takes back his pen, and places the ledger back under the counter.
MAN: Name?
The man's voice sounds like he is gargling with Drano while trying to speak.
ASH: Williams, Ash Williams.
The others from the S-Mart troupe are now coming into the lobby.
The man hands Ash a key.
MAN: Room twenty, last door on the left, second floor.
Ash heads toward the stairs. Bud is at the counter awaiting his own room key.
BUD: (shouts after Ash) We'll see you in the bar later.
Ash gives him a minor salute, and heads up the stairs with Jes.
The mention of alcohol finally sets everyone abuzz and talking.
INT - BACKROOM OF HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT
A man who looks much like the man handing out room keys. This man peers through the door and surveys the crowd with malice in his strange eyes. He goes to a crank-handle phone hanging on the wall. He picks up the receiver, and cranks.
His voice isn't quite as strange as the other man's but it's weird enough.
MAN 2: They have all arrived. (pause) Yes. (pause - wicked smile) Yes, there will be plenty to catch tomorrow. Get the boat ready.
EXT - DOCK - NIGHT
A rickety small dock. A large, unsafe appearing boat dwarfs the dock where it is tied.
Both sides of the boat deck are lined with uncomfortable looking chairs with leather harnesses, for the fishermen to sit down and strap in when fishing for larger game.
Fat, rubbery hands tinker with the harness buckles. Guttural guffawing and giggling can be heard.
FADE OUT
ACT TWO
FADE IN
EXT - HOTEL FACADE - DAY
The hungover people stumble out into the sunshine. One of the strange looking hotel personnel herds people into lines - "Whale watch", "Deep Sea Fishing", "Innsmouth Walking Tour". Ten men line up for fishing, a handful of ladies line up for the town tour, and the balance head for the whale watch.
Ash and Jes are the last ones to head for the lineups. As they exit the hotel, a bus pulls in, with "Boston" reading on its destination sign.
ASH: Boston. Now, there at least we'd be in a city with things to do.
JES: You thinking of playing hooky?
Ash glances around furtively - only to see Bud waving at him wildly from the fishing line.
Ash sighs.
ASH: Not today, I guess. You fishing with me?
JES: I am your date, aren't I?
ASH: You don't have to come if you don't want. There's the other stuff.
Jes thinks about it.
JES: Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing the town. Probably lots of nick-nacks and crafts.
Then we can both go whale watching tomorrow.
ASH: Deal! See ya later.
Jes and Ash part company.
INT - BUS - DAY
The bus driver is wearing a jump suit that is entirely too large. A cheesy, bushy fake mustache is complimented by an equally obnoxious wig sticking out from under his hat. Dark, dark glasses complete the picture, as Fisk speed dials '10-321-666' on his cell phone.
FISK: Mister Z?
INTERCUT SCENE WITH SZABO'S OFFICE
SZABO: Who else would be on my secure line, Mister Fisk?
FISK: Right. I've got them in sight.
SZABO: What's happening?
FISK: Group activities.
Szabo sighs.
SZABO: Ash isn't doing the town tour, is he?
FISK: Nope.
SZABO: And not the whale watch.
Fisk shakes his head.
FISK: Nope.
SZABO: Ash Williams would choose the fishing trip. (beat) Well, he should get out alive. Just make sure he's out of there by tomorrow, it will only get worse.
FISK: Yes, sir.
SZABO: And Fisk?
FISK: Yes?
SZABO: Make yourself useful. Make sure the girl doesn't get into trouble, either. We don't need to lose Ash in a rescue attempt.
FISK: Understood.
EXT - BOAT DECK - DAY
The boat is leaving shore. The strange looking Innsmouth native directs the fishermen to their uncomfortable chairs, and starts to harness them in.
Ash isn't keen on the idea.
ASH: What, you think we're gonna catch whales? That's the other boat!
Bud is sitting next to Ash.
BUD: Might get some tuna.
ASH: Yeah, when we're out at sea! We're still bumping swimmers. I'll wait, thanks.
The sailor man handles Ash into his seat and gruffly secures the harness.
ASH: Hey! HEY!
The sailor shuffles to the next chair.
ASH: Do you believe that guy?
Ash gives his harness a little tug, not realizing just how secure it really is.
BUD: Well, you should have been more hospitable. Tourism is a big industry for these little places.
EXT - INNSMOUTH - DAY
A gravel-voiced woman, looking gray, wide-eyed, portly and as strange as the Innsmouth men, leads the small tour group. Jes is all smiles.
TOUR GUIDE: On your left is the town church, built in 1645. Services nightly at midnight.
The sign on the church reads "Esoteric Order of Dagon".
JES: Dagon?
The guide doesn't seem to hear Jes. One of the other women turns to her.
WOMAN: Oh, you know how those Puritans were. Every other week they were throwing someone out of Boston for "heresy". {laughs} If it wasn't for religious outcasts, Connecticut and Rhode Island would never have been colonized. Dagons, Baptists, they're all the same to me - I'm Jewish!
The women laugh and follow after their tour guide.
EXT - ATLANTIC COAST - DAY
EXT - BOAT DECK - DAY
Bud has his eyes closed up at the sun, and an insipid grin on his face.
ASH: Bud?
BUD: Hmmm?
ASH: You wanna open your eyes and tell me why we're going parallel with the coast instead of away from it?
Bud opens his eyes and scans the coastline. He takes a drag on a can of Narragansett beer.
BUD: {shrugs} Must be shallows.
The boat engines suddenly go quiet, and the movement of the breeze stops.
BUD: See? Probably have to go around a reef or something.
ASH: Bud - doesn't strike you as odd that they haven't given us our fishing rods yet?
BUD: No.
ASH: Never mind. I'm gonna find out what's going on.
Ash moves to un-strap himself from his chair.
ASH: What the hell?
Ash starts to tug and yank futilely at the harness. Bud closes his eyes and goes back to smiling at the sun. No one else seems to care, either.
INT - BOAT CABIN - DAY
In the tiny boat cabin, the two sailors and the captain nod wordlessly to one another. One of the sailors closes the door and places a large beam across it. The captain nods his approval, and presses a button.
EXT - UNDER THE BOAT HULL - DAY
An electronic device on the end of a rod emerges from the bottom of the boat. It starts to emit a strange sound in a repeated pattern - a beacon.
EXT - BOAT DECK - DAY
Ash continues to struggle with his harness. He stops when he hears something weird.
ASH: Now what?
BUD: What?
ASH: That sound.
BUD: What sound?
ASH: That weird whale-call-but-not-a-whale-call!
BUD: Oh, that.
(beat)
The sounds of splashing water, like very sloppy swimmers. Sounds of wet flesh flapping and striking the hull of the boat.
BUD: Now, what is that?
ASH: I think I liked the first sound better.
Ash looks at the edge of the boat in horror as a scaled, gray-green 'Creature from the Black Lagoon' hand clutches the side of the boat. The other hand follows.
EXT - INNSMOUTH - DAY
The touring ladies have stopped in a Yankee crafts store. Jes grabs a stuffed animal from the shelf.
JES: Isn't this just the most adorable stuffed frog?
FOCUS on the stuffed-frog-that-isn't-quite-a-frog-but-might-be-a-weird-fish ..
CUT TO
EXT - BOAT DECK - DAY
The owner of the strange hands suddenly leaps aboard the boat. It is a strange creature, resembling a gray-green frog with a large fin from the crest of its head down, like a tuna's sail. It stands upright, and somehow manages to swipe and curl its fat tongue around its razor sharp teeth. Others of its kind join it aboard the deck.
Ash is surprised, to say the least. Even the less than bright Bud takes notice.
BUD: Would you kill me if I said this was looking real fishy?
ASH: Most probably.
FADE OUT on menacing fish-frog-men.
ACT THREE
FADE IN
EXT - BOAT DECK -DAY
The bloated fish-frog-men slip aboard, menacing the fishermen who are trapped in their seats by leather harnesses and buckles.
Most everyone is horrified.
Ash looks angry and annoyed.
Bud starts giggling and then lets out an excited belly laugh.
Ash is more startled by the laughter than by the fish-frog-men.
ASH: Something funny, Bud?
BUD: Woooohooooo! This is great! I didn't know this was a theme park resort!
ASH: A theme p…?
BUD: Ain't it great?
Bud doesn't notice as, on the other side of the boat, the fish-frog-men bite nasty chunks out of screaming S-Mart employees.
BUD: It's like 'Westworld' or something! I bet this is just like that movie 'Webbed Fists of Fury'! Or, 'Atlantis Hit Squad'!
ASH: ummm .. yeah ...
Ash spots a fish-frog-man doing some bloody damage to someone on his side of the boat.
ASH: I'm writing myself outta this script.
Ash kicks up his legs and pushes the first approaching monster over the edge of the boat.
Then, using his mechanical right hand, Ash crushes the metal buckles of his leather harness to free himself.
BUD: Go get 'em, Ash! Yeehaw!
Ash uppercuts another fish-frog-man with a lolling tongue, and the tongue is severed by the blow. He pushes the creature over into the water.
Ash pulls a carving knife from the block it was stuck in, and begins to cut the harnesses loose. He dodges chubby webbed hands and nasty claws, but he is much swifter than the shambling fish-frog-men.
Bud joins in the play like a child. He ducks swinging amphibian arms, and chortles as he pushes and prods the fish-frog-men over the side. The other employees seem to notice the mortality factor. They scream and panic, running along the deck. Some jump in the water where they are grabbed by fish-frog-men who were already pushed over.
Ash caves in row after row of sharp teeth with the aide of his steel hand.
EXT - BOAT DECK, BOW - DAY
One fisherman is down on the deck. A drooling fish-frog-man leers over the man.
Suddenly, the fish-frog-man's eyes go wide with pain as a large fishhook lodges in the corner of his open mouth.
EXT - BOAT DECK, STERN - DAY
Ash smiles. He is holding the mother-of-all fishing rods.
ASH: Guess I need to tire you out a bit.
Ash reels in the line, lets it out; reels it in. The fish-frog-man stumbles and flops around on the deck.
More fighting. Ash uses his fishing pole like a fighting staff.
The fish-frog-men finally retreat, diving over the edge of the boat to get away. But the fishing line of Ash's pole is still attached to one unfortunate creature. Ash sits himself down in a seat, buckles himself in, and starts reeling.
INT - BOAT CABIN - DAY
Ash kicks in the door of the cabin, where the Innsmouth sailors have holed up.
The sailors are surprised, to say the least.
Ash drops the corpse of the frog-fish-man at their feet.
ASH: We're gonna need a bigger boat.
EXT - INNSMOUTH TOWN LIMITS - DAY
Fisk pulls the bus behind a high sand dune. He is now dressed like a MIB - black suit, tie, shoes, sunglasses. He straightens his tie and walks back toward Innsmouth.
EXT - INNSMOUTH - DAY
Jes's tour group breaks up and goes their separate ways. Jes wanders some streets without a destination. As she proceeds, the buildings are more dilapidate. She finds her way to docks and the waterfront. She holds her nose.
JES: Eeeeeewwwww! When's the last time they cleaned their warehouses?
EXT - INNSMOUTH - DAY
A fishy-looking (in both ways) Innsmouth man waits quietly in the alley. He is armed with a mancatcher - a pole arm that ends in spring-loaded jaws that snap into a collar. He is spying Jes, and waiting for the right moment.
A hand grabs the pole. The Innsmouth man turns in surprise. Another hand presses against his rotund belly. An electrical shock can be seen, as Fisk tasers the man to the ground. The man withers and grovels on the ground.
FISK: Not today, minnow breath.
Fisk crouches down over the man.
FISK: Now, why don't you tell me why you wanted to grab the pretty girl, hmmm?
The Innsmouth man scowls between muscle spasms.
EXT - INNSMOUTH STREET - DAY
A clanging bell makes Jes jump. She looks around for the source of the sound. The streets and buildings are very much empty. Finally she espies swinging bells in the tower of a very old stone church. There is no clock, or any indication of the churches denomination or purpose. It looks abandoned, but the stone has held up better than the wood structures around it.
A door to the cellar of the building stands open. Jes cautiously walks closer.
Something darts by the open door quickly. Jes is unsure, but the audience can almost discern that it was a fish-frog-man, in a flowing purple robe and a tiara.
Jes peers down the stairs into the darkness.
JES: Hello?
(beat)
JES: Are you open for tourists? If I'm bothering you I'll just go away.
(beat)
Jes takes a few steps down the stairs.
EXT - INNSMOUTH ALLEY - DAY
The Innsmouth man is no longer writhing. He is no longer living, either. Fisk is on his cell phone while he prods the corpse with his foot.
FISK: Mister Z, the big fish coming home to spawn. Tonight.
INTERCUT with Szabo's office.
SZABO: Tonight?! He wasn't supposed to be out until 2010.
FISK: He's out now, sir.
SZABO: You're sure?
FISK: Pretty much. I found some papers over at the Dagon church. I'm just gonna double-check at the Old Altar church. But it sounds like he's been out for a month.
SZABO: Black magic amateurs. I swear we need to start a licensing board.
FISK: He's definitely on his way here. I just saved Ash's lady from being a sacrif…
Fisk eyes the open door of the stone church and the empty stairwell. Jes is nowhere to be seen.
FISK: Aw, nuts.
FADE OUT on the dark opening at the bottom of the stairwell to the stone church.
ACT FOUR
EXT - OCEAN COAST - DAY
Massachusetts coastline. The fishing boat is headed into Innsmouth.
INT - BOAT CABIN - DAY
Ash is at the wheel. His face is focused on the town - his single-minded destination.
He only turns to glare at the cowering Innsmouth sailors who say nothing and are tied up in the corner.
Bud is giddy at Ash's side.
BUD: This is so cool. This sure beats fishing, huh, Williams? And you wanted to go to Lake Huron!
Ash doesn't bother answering.
BUD: You watch, the town will be deserted. We'll have to fight our way out, just like in 'Horror At Pismo Beach'. Man, these Innsmouth guys have got it down.
ASH: Yeah.
They are suddenly thrown sideways as the boat rocks violently.
ASH: Where the hell did that come from?
EXT - OCEAN - DAY
Huge waves pound the boat and start to toss it.
EXT - BOAT DECK - DAY
The S-Mart survivors scream and panic, clutching rails and anything they can to keep from being pitched overboard.
INT - BOAT CABIN - DAY
Bud looks out all the windows at the bright sunny day and cloudless sky.
BUD: Must be a storm .. you know .. out at sea.
The boat tosses again.
ASH: A storm, Bud? Mister Magoo can see all the way to Spain out there!
Bud shrugs. His smile only falters for the slightest second.
BUD: Must be a whale. A big one! Like, a sperm whale!
ASH: Yeah. A big one.
EXT - UNDER WATER SHOT - DAY
Two humpback whales frolic in the depths, but don't break the surface of the water.
A human hand, the size of one of the humpback's head, brushes past the whale in a slow stroke.
EXT - INNSMOUTH, STONE CHURCH - DAY
Fisk furtively glances around and then makes his way down the cellar steps.
Ahead of him, Jes is cautiously peering around and making her way along a corridor.
Jes pauses and studies a carving in the wall. The carving is of a merman with a long thick beard and long hair, curled in classic Greek style. He is depicted with an ornate headdress. A word is carved beneath the picture.
JES: A merman? Poseidon? No - where's your trident?
FISK: Not Poseidon.
Jes squeaks and jumps. She turns around, clutching her chest.
FISK: Sorry, didn't mean to startle you.
His smile says otherwise.
JES: The door was just open and ..
FISK: (waves his hand nonchalantly) I'm not here to arrest you for trespassing.
JES: (relaxes) Glad to hear that. What is this place? Who is this guy? (points to carving) I can't make out the inscription. It's not Latin.
FISK: You know Latin?
JES: Some. I'm taking it at school. But they say it's a dead language.
FISK: (mutters) Or a 'language of the dead'. (speaks up) Oh, it can be a useful tool.
And that isn't Latin, it's Sumerian hieroglyphics.
JES: Oh.
FISK: That fellow is Dagon - an old god, not a merman.
JES: Isn't that a little sacrilegious?
FISK: Not in Innsmouth. They use him as an icon for good fishing.
JES: But what about that other church? 'The Esoteric ..'
Fisk spies some movement form the corner of his eye. He impatiently cuts off Jes.
FISK: .. Order of Dagon'. Yeah. They use the church as the local fishing lodge.
JES: Fishing lodge?
FISK: Yeah. Hunters have hunting lodges, fishers got fishing lodges. Anyway, we really shouldn't be in here.
JES: Yeah, you're right. Don't want to overextend my welcome.
Fisk motions with his arm. Jes smiles and walks ahead of him, back towards the entrance.
A fish-frog-man priest in a purple robe and tiara steps out from the shadows as if to give chase.
A steady glare from Fisk (even with his sunglasses on), and a curt shake of his head, give the priest pause. It slinks back into the shadows. Fisk turns and follows Jes up the stairs and into the daylight.
EXT - INNSMOUTH STONE CHURCH - DAY
Jes and Fisk emerge into the daylight.
JES: You know your local history, Mister .. ?
FISK: Smith.
JES: Mister .. Smith.
FISK: I like Innsmouth. I study up on it.
JES: Oh. Any other fishing icons, or is Dagon the only one?
Fisk glances at his watch.
FISK: Dagon is the only one. But, he's a big one.
EXT - OCEAN - DAY
EXT - BOAT DECK - DAY
Reaction shots as jaws drop. Water sprays over the face and fills mouths with brine, but no one bothers to close their mouth or spit.
Ash comes out of the cabin staring in shock.
EXT - OCEAN - DAY
The ocean surface is broken by two wagging humpback whale tails, on either side of a single wagging tail that is five times larger than either whale tail.
EXT - UNDERWATER SHOT - DAY
Dagon swims between the whales. He seems normal, for a giant merman, but he has a very sharp, evil face and red eyes.
EXT - BOAT DECK - DAY
ASH: Time to head in land, Ahab. Good idea, Ishmael.
Ash blots into the cabin and guns the motor as hard as it will go.
EXT - OCEAN - DAY
Dagon's tail quivers, and then bends close to the surface. Back up, closer again.
INT - CABIN - DAY
Ash sees the tail gearing up for one tremendous whack.
ASH: Oh, sh…
EXT - OCEAN - DAY
Dagon's tail slaps the water. A huge wave crashes into the fishing boat. The boat almost capsizes.
EXT - INNSMOUTH - DAY
Fisk and Jes eat ice cream cones on a bench. A few S-Mart employees in sweats jog by and wave.
FISK: .. then they summon Dagon into the ocean from out of space.
JES: Outer space?
FISK: No. Out of .. you know .. like, from beyond.
JES: Beyond.
FISK: Yeah. Then he's free to swim the oceans, but he can't bring himself onto land without a proper sacrifice.
JES: And while he's swimming out there, he drives all the fish toward land.
FISK: Yeah - if you believe that kind of thing. (forces a jovial laugh)
Focus on Jes as she thinks about it and works her cone.
JES: Still, with a guy like that swimming around, fishing might not be so safe.
(beat - no answer)
Jes turns. Fisk is gone. Jes looks around startled by his sudden disappearance.
A noise. A rumble. A roar. Jes turns to see a wave crest.
There is a boat at the top of the crest of the wave.
The wave and boat crash directly down on the waterfront docks, destroying most of them.
The water washes, ankle high, up some of the side streets.
Jes drops her cone and jaw.
The boat skids up and comes to a stop next to her. It is on its side, and has a ragged hole in the bottom.
Ash climbs out of the wreckage. Other stunned fishermen do, too.
Ash saunters up to Jes as if nothing happened.
ASH: Hiya Ginger, have you seen the Professor?
INT - HOTEL BAR - NIGHT
Bud and Ash nurse drinks at the bar. The survivors from the fishing boat are sporting various bandages, numbing themselves with alcohol while their wives chatter and laugh.
From a hidden vantage point, Fisk speaks into his cell phone while eyeing Ash.
INTERCUT WITH SZABO'S OFFICE
SZABO: Any chance they'll try something tonight?
FISK: They might. They've still got seven hours until the star alignment gets out of sync.
But I'll be watching Ash's room. They won't get a chance to sacrifice the girl.
SZABO: Good. That will keep Dagon at the Y-M-C-Atlantic for another two years - or until I send him back - whichever comes first.
FISK: Any idea who called him in?
SZABO: No. Probably some Polynesian witch-doctor trying to help his village with the fishing. Then the Dagonites got wind of it and tried to call him onto land.
FISK: You gonna sterilize the area?
SZABO: Mister Fisk, I'm not a barbarian. If the Innsmouth inbreeds want to call in Dagon, power to them - as long as it doesn't interfere with my plans. Besides, it really is a great place for fishing.
INT - BAR - NIGHT
Bud and Ash at the bar.
BUD: God, today was fun! Can you imagine the money it must have taken them to setup a wave creator out there in the damn ocean? They must make piles of cash!
Bud elaborates with his hands.
BUD: A wave this damn high - and us on top of it! (shakes his head in disbelief) I can't wait for the whale watch tomorrow!
ASH: I can.
BUD: I don't know how S-Mart expects this to be a productive week. I'm having too much fun!
ASH: It's been a productive day. I've already figured out how to save S-Mart money.
BUD: How?
ASH: By saving them the cost of putting up two people in Innsmouth another two days. See ya on Monday, Bud.
Bud is too surprised to make a reply. Ash leaves the bar.
EXT - HOTEL FACADE, INNSMOUTH - DAY
Just as the sun rises, the bus for Boston, with Fisk in disguise as the driver, pulls in. Ash and Jes climb aboard and take a seat in the middle of the empty bus while Fisk wrestles
their luggage into the compartment.
INT - BUS - DAY
ASH: Is this a straight run into Boston?
The bus beings to pull out of town.
FISK: (disguising his voice) Yes, sir.
Jes glances around the empty bus.
JES: It's wonder they make any money. (shrugs) Wake me when we get there.
Jes leans her head against Ash's shoulder. Ash is a little surprised, and then smiles. He closes his eyes, too.
Fisk watches them in the mirror. Satisfied they are asleep, he speeds up the bus and drives like a bat out of hell.
EXT - SOUTH STATION BUS TERMINAL, BOSTON - DAY
The bus pulls into the lot.
INT - BUS - DAY
Ash's head rests on Jes' head. They wake up, and sleepily disembark. Fisk gets their bags.
Ash tips Fisk one dollar.
ASH: Alright, kid. Let's see the big city!
Jes and Ash walk away. Fisk glowers, crumples the dollar bill and throws it on the ground. He retrieves a soft leather briefcase from the bus, and makes his way to the men's bathroom.
EXT - BUS LOT - DAY
Jes is downcast, Ash is looking around.
ASH: What's the matter?
JES: (shrugs) City hustle and bustle. I was enjoying my time at the coast.
Jes gives Ash a big, pouting look.
ASH: Aw, geez. Alright. We've still got two days. I guess we can go do something in the 'burbs for a day. I hear Lexington and Concord aren't very far. Let's find a tour bus.
Jes's eyes go wide with excitement.
JES: Oh! Perfect!!
Jes grabs Ash's arm and starts to pull him along after her. His eyes go wide, and he stammers in protest, but can't find the words.
EXT - BUS LOT - DAY
Fisk emerges from the bathroom, in a brown suit, sans disguise. He finishes stuffing the wig into his briefcase and straightens his tie. He appears very happy with himself, but then
he sees something offscreen. His face twists in angry exasperation. He inhales a deep breath, exhales slowly, and runs a hand down his face. He jabs his hand into his pocket,
and dials his cell phone.
FISK: Mister Z, we've got another complication.
EXT - BUS LOT - DAY
CAMERA On Ash's back, from a low angle, as he is pulled forward by a very excited Jes. As they move to the side of the bus to get aboard, we see the front of the bus. On the grill is a decoration - the black silhouette of a witch on a broom with a black cat on an orange background. As Jes and Ash climb aboard, the camera pans up and stays on the destination sign which reads, "SALEM".
FADE OUT
THE END
"Evil Dead-icated Followers Of Fishin'"
By: Cathbad
TEASER
Suburbs of Detriot. A S-Mart store. Store manager "Bud" Palmenterri has Ash Williams standing before his flimsy desk - which isn't much more than a rectangular table with a few odds and ends on it.
Ash's face is in a scowl. He holds a crumpled piece of color paper in his hand.
ASH: Massachusetts? Fer God's sake, why can't we just go to Lake Huron?
BUD: The idea is deep sea fishing. Lake Huron is a lake, therefore it's out-of-the question.
Ash opens the colored paper. It is an announcement of a company wide week of meetings, to be held at a "seaside resort".
ASH: (reads) "whale watching, golf, swimming, deep sea fishing .." Look, change
"deep sea fishing" to "fishing" and reprint the flyers.
BUD: It's not my call, Ash. It's S-Mart, not me. Besides, you can't whale watch at Lake Huron.
ASH: Not everyone has seen Richard Simmons' info-mercials.
BUD: We're going Ash, and that's all there is to it. Unless you want to run the store for a week, and I'll take Rammer with me.
Ash furrows his brow.
ASH: No, no. Teddy can mind the store. I don't want to miss my big chance to hobnob with the godfathers of S-Mart.
BUD: That's what I want to hear. The chain is expanding Ash. Get used to Massachusetts while we're there. You might get your own store someday.
ASH: Boston?
BUD: Nah, probably one of those crappy dead mill towns, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Bud leads Ash to the door.
BUD: And Ash ...
ASH: Yeah?
BUD: Bring a date!
ACT ONE
INT- ASH'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Ash and Scotty Jarvis, an old high school friend, are sitting on the couch, watching a shopping channel. The dolled-up, porcelain hostess switches from whatever the last product was, and starts to push a "cut rate" case of paperback books that have slight smoke damage, and are in great condition. At the sight of the paperback 'Necronomicon', Ash leaps for the remote and begins to surf frantically.
Scotty doesn't seem to notice.
SCOTTY: Go for it. At least S-Mart is paying for it.
ASH: No, I'm paying for it. Sitting with a bunch of those stuffed suits who know nothing about life in the trenches, listening to them babble for week straight. Stuck in some hick New England sea town ... and now for an encore, I have to bring a date with me.
SCOTTY: Too bad Rammer has to mind the store. He's kinda cute.
Ash glares.
SCOTTY: It was a joke. (beat) I'm tellin' ya, ask Jesinia.
ASH: No.
SCOTTY: Yes.
ASH: No! I've told you before - she's just a kid.
SCOTTY: And I've told you before, she's more than a kid, and she's got the hots for you.
ASH: All the more reason not to lead her on.
On cue, the door opens and Jesinia, a pretty blonde young twenty-something tomboy comes in the front door with a grocery bag.
SCOTTY: (whispers) I'd follow that lead anywhere.
Ash elbows him.
JESINIA: Here's your munchies and cheap beer.
Jesinia puts down the bag on the coffee table and takes the love seat to herself.
SCOTTY: Thanks, doll.
They each take a can of beer and sip thoughtfully watching screaming, fighting white trash on "The Jerry Springer Show".
JESINIA: What's new?
ASH: Noth..
SCOTTY: Fishing.
JESINIA: Fishing?
If looks could kill, Scotty would be dead thanks to Ash.
SCOTTY: S-Mart is doing a company retreat, and Ash gets to go.
JESINIA: Cool!
SCOTTY: And he needs to bring a date.
Jesinia isn't sure what to say. Scotty looks expectantly at Ash. Ash finally speaks.
ASH: Not that it is a date or anything. I mean, I wasn't even thinking of it .. or of you for it. Scotty just likes to speak up when his brain isn't working and ..
JESINIA: I'll go.
ASH: You will?
JESINIA: Hey, if it's all expenses paid to ...
INT - SZABO'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Once again, we see only snatches of Szabo behind his desk. Fisk, the stocky underling, reads from a colored flyer.
FISK: .. to Innsmouth.
Fisk reacts nervously while watching Szabo's off-screen reaction. Beside Fisk stands a professional and harsh looking blonde woman, wearing reflective glasses.
BLONDE: Damn.
SZABO: (sighs) I really must pay more attention to the details of my various ventures.
My own employees throwing a company gathering at Innsmouth. (laughs with light irony)
Szabo and the Blonde are quiet. Too quiet.
FISK: What's the matter? We've seen the Federal documents. Back in the twenties, the government sterilized the town under the cover of a liquor raid. They destroyed the reef with enough dynamite to stop a small army.
The Blonde and Szabo pause and then continue as if Fisk was never part of the conversation to begin with.
BLONDE: It would be of no concern if Williams wasn't attending.
SZABO: But he is. (beat) So, what are we going to do about it?
EXT - ROAD - DUSK
A rickety old bus, that seems to be no later model than early sixties, drives past a town limit sign - 'Innsmouth - Est. 1655'. The terrain is sparsely wooded and sandy. Dunes with long wild grass are evident. If not for the rolling dunes, the land would be entirely flat.
INT - BUS - DUSK
The bus is full of S-Mart executives, junior executives, managers, assistant managers and their companions - nearly forty or so people, and everyone looks uncomfortable and not rested.
Jesinia rubs her cramped neck as she yawns. She nudges Ash, and he wakes up bleary eyed and none better for the wear.
JESINIA: All expenses paid, huh?
ASH: So, it's a bus, not a plane. Sue me. Why'd you wake me up anyway? I can get through this week if I just sleep the entire time - I've had practice.
JESINIA: (nods at the window) We're here.
EXT - BUS - DUSK
The bus passengers slowly climb out of the bus and onto the street. Many of the buildings are in bad condition, or even boarded up. There are no cars or pedestrians.
The place is a ghost town.
The bus pulls away. Everyone is silent. Across the street is the only building with lights on. A few burn on the extended porch, and from the interior of the entrance door. It is a small, turn-of-the-century hotel. The sign on the front simply reads, "HOTEL".
Ash surveys the bleak surroundings, and frowns at most of the other people. They have no clue about what they should be doing.
ASH: This must be the place.
Ash grabs his bags from the luggage pile and strides toward the hotel.
ASH: And if it isn't, I'm renting a bed, anyway.
Jesinia is at his side.
JESINIA: Sounds good.
Ash doesn't break stride, but his face shows some confusion. He's not sure how to take Jes's last statement. He lets it lie.
INT - HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT
The lobby is nearly as deserted as the town. A rack of tourism pamphlets stands nearly empty, and the few pamphlets are simple black and white printed affairs that are yellow with age.
No one is about. Ash rings the bell on the counter.
Jes lets out a squeaky gasp as a man shambles out from a back room. He is rotund, and has enormous eyes on a face that seems too flat and too round. His mouth is tiny, and perfectly round. His skin has an unhealthy touch of a gray, shiny pallor. His hands are fat and rubbery. Without a word he pulls a ledger out from under the counter and holds out a pen waiting for Ash to sign.
Ash jabs a thumb over his shoulder.
ASH: We're with the S-Mart party.
The man shrugs, takes back his pen, and places the ledger back under the counter.
MAN: Name?
The man's voice sounds like he is gargling with Drano while trying to speak.
ASH: Williams, Ash Williams.
The others from the S-Mart troupe are now coming into the lobby.
The man hands Ash a key.
MAN: Room twenty, last door on the left, second floor.
Ash heads toward the stairs. Bud is at the counter awaiting his own room key.
BUD: (shouts after Ash) We'll see you in the bar later.
Ash gives him a minor salute, and heads up the stairs with Jes.
The mention of alcohol finally sets everyone abuzz and talking.
INT - BACKROOM OF HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT
A man who looks much like the man handing out room keys. This man peers through the door and surveys the crowd with malice in his strange eyes. He goes to a crank-handle phone hanging on the wall. He picks up the receiver, and cranks.
His voice isn't quite as strange as the other man's but it's weird enough.
MAN 2: They have all arrived. (pause) Yes. (pause - wicked smile) Yes, there will be plenty to catch tomorrow. Get the boat ready.
EXT - DOCK - NIGHT
A rickety small dock. A large, unsafe appearing boat dwarfs the dock where it is tied.
Both sides of the boat deck are lined with uncomfortable looking chairs with leather harnesses, for the fishermen to sit down and strap in when fishing for larger game.
Fat, rubbery hands tinker with the harness buckles. Guttural guffawing and giggling can be heard.
FADE OUT
ACT TWO
FADE IN
EXT - HOTEL FACADE - DAY
The hungover people stumble out into the sunshine. One of the strange looking hotel personnel herds people into lines - "Whale watch", "Deep Sea Fishing", "Innsmouth Walking Tour". Ten men line up for fishing, a handful of ladies line up for the town tour, and the balance head for the whale watch.
Ash and Jes are the last ones to head for the lineups. As they exit the hotel, a bus pulls in, with "Boston" reading on its destination sign.
ASH: Boston. Now, there at least we'd be in a city with things to do.
JES: You thinking of playing hooky?
Ash glances around furtively - only to see Bud waving at him wildly from the fishing line.
Ash sighs.
ASH: Not today, I guess. You fishing with me?
JES: I am your date, aren't I?
ASH: You don't have to come if you don't want. There's the other stuff.
Jes thinks about it.
JES: Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing the town. Probably lots of nick-nacks and crafts.
Then we can both go whale watching tomorrow.
ASH: Deal! See ya later.
Jes and Ash part company.
INT - BUS - DAY
The bus driver is wearing a jump suit that is entirely too large. A cheesy, bushy fake mustache is complimented by an equally obnoxious wig sticking out from under his hat. Dark, dark glasses complete the picture, as Fisk speed dials '10-321-666' on his cell phone.
FISK: Mister Z?
INTERCUT SCENE WITH SZABO'S OFFICE
SZABO: Who else would be on my secure line, Mister Fisk?
FISK: Right. I've got them in sight.
SZABO: What's happening?
FISK: Group activities.
Szabo sighs.
SZABO: Ash isn't doing the town tour, is he?
FISK: Nope.
SZABO: And not the whale watch.
Fisk shakes his head.
FISK: Nope.
SZABO: Ash Williams would choose the fishing trip. (beat) Well, he should get out alive. Just make sure he's out of there by tomorrow, it will only get worse.
FISK: Yes, sir.
SZABO: And Fisk?
FISK: Yes?
SZABO: Make yourself useful. Make sure the girl doesn't get into trouble, either. We don't need to lose Ash in a rescue attempt.
FISK: Understood.
EXT - BOAT DECK - DAY
The boat is leaving shore. The strange looking Innsmouth native directs the fishermen to their uncomfortable chairs, and starts to harness them in.
Ash isn't keen on the idea.
ASH: What, you think we're gonna catch whales? That's the other boat!
Bud is sitting next to Ash.
BUD: Might get some tuna.
ASH: Yeah, when we're out at sea! We're still bumping swimmers. I'll wait, thanks.
The sailor man handles Ash into his seat and gruffly secures the harness.
ASH: Hey! HEY!
The sailor shuffles to the next chair.
ASH: Do you believe that guy?
Ash gives his harness a little tug, not realizing just how secure it really is.
BUD: Well, you should have been more hospitable. Tourism is a big industry for these little places.
EXT - INNSMOUTH - DAY
A gravel-voiced woman, looking gray, wide-eyed, portly and as strange as the Innsmouth men, leads the small tour group. Jes is all smiles.
TOUR GUIDE: On your left is the town church, built in 1645. Services nightly at midnight.
The sign on the church reads "Esoteric Order of Dagon".
JES: Dagon?
The guide doesn't seem to hear Jes. One of the other women turns to her.
WOMAN: Oh, you know how those Puritans were. Every other week they were throwing someone out of Boston for "heresy". {laughs} If it wasn't for religious outcasts, Connecticut and Rhode Island would never have been colonized. Dagons, Baptists, they're all the same to me - I'm Jewish!
The women laugh and follow after their tour guide.
EXT - ATLANTIC COAST - DAY
EXT - BOAT DECK - DAY
Bud has his eyes closed up at the sun, and an insipid grin on his face.
ASH: Bud?
BUD: Hmmm?
ASH: You wanna open your eyes and tell me why we're going parallel with the coast instead of away from it?
Bud opens his eyes and scans the coastline. He takes a drag on a can of Narragansett beer.
BUD: {shrugs} Must be shallows.
The boat engines suddenly go quiet, and the movement of the breeze stops.
BUD: See? Probably have to go around a reef or something.
ASH: Bud - doesn't strike you as odd that they haven't given us our fishing rods yet?
BUD: No.
ASH: Never mind. I'm gonna find out what's going on.
Ash moves to un-strap himself from his chair.
ASH: What the hell?
Ash starts to tug and yank futilely at the harness. Bud closes his eyes and goes back to smiling at the sun. No one else seems to care, either.
INT - BOAT CABIN - DAY
In the tiny boat cabin, the two sailors and the captain nod wordlessly to one another. One of the sailors closes the door and places a large beam across it. The captain nods his approval, and presses a button.
EXT - UNDER THE BOAT HULL - DAY
An electronic device on the end of a rod emerges from the bottom of the boat. It starts to emit a strange sound in a repeated pattern - a beacon.
EXT - BOAT DECK - DAY
Ash continues to struggle with his harness. He stops when he hears something weird.
ASH: Now what?
BUD: What?
ASH: That sound.
BUD: What sound?
ASH: That weird whale-call-but-not-a-whale-call!
BUD: Oh, that.
(beat)
The sounds of splashing water, like very sloppy swimmers. Sounds of wet flesh flapping and striking the hull of the boat.
BUD: Now, what is that?
ASH: I think I liked the first sound better.
Ash looks at the edge of the boat in horror as a scaled, gray-green 'Creature from the Black Lagoon' hand clutches the side of the boat. The other hand follows.
EXT - INNSMOUTH - DAY
The touring ladies have stopped in a Yankee crafts store. Jes grabs a stuffed animal from the shelf.
JES: Isn't this just the most adorable stuffed frog?
FOCUS on the stuffed-frog-that-isn't-quite-a-frog-but-might-be-a-weird-fish ..
CUT TO
EXT - BOAT DECK - DAY
The owner of the strange hands suddenly leaps aboard the boat. It is a strange creature, resembling a gray-green frog with a large fin from the crest of its head down, like a tuna's sail. It stands upright, and somehow manages to swipe and curl its fat tongue around its razor sharp teeth. Others of its kind join it aboard the deck.
Ash is surprised, to say the least. Even the less than bright Bud takes notice.
BUD: Would you kill me if I said this was looking real fishy?
ASH: Most probably.
FADE OUT on menacing fish-frog-men.
ACT THREE
FADE IN
EXT - BOAT DECK -DAY
The bloated fish-frog-men slip aboard, menacing the fishermen who are trapped in their seats by leather harnesses and buckles.
Most everyone is horrified.
Ash looks angry and annoyed.
Bud starts giggling and then lets out an excited belly laugh.
Ash is more startled by the laughter than by the fish-frog-men.
ASH: Something funny, Bud?
BUD: Woooohooooo! This is great! I didn't know this was a theme park resort!
ASH: A theme p…?
BUD: Ain't it great?
Bud doesn't notice as, on the other side of the boat, the fish-frog-men bite nasty chunks out of screaming S-Mart employees.
BUD: It's like 'Westworld' or something! I bet this is just like that movie 'Webbed Fists of Fury'! Or, 'Atlantis Hit Squad'!
ASH: ummm .. yeah ...
Ash spots a fish-frog-man doing some bloody damage to someone on his side of the boat.
ASH: I'm writing myself outta this script.
Ash kicks up his legs and pushes the first approaching monster over the edge of the boat.
Then, using his mechanical right hand, Ash crushes the metal buckles of his leather harness to free himself.
BUD: Go get 'em, Ash! Yeehaw!
Ash uppercuts another fish-frog-man with a lolling tongue, and the tongue is severed by the blow. He pushes the creature over into the water.
Ash pulls a carving knife from the block it was stuck in, and begins to cut the harnesses loose. He dodges chubby webbed hands and nasty claws, but he is much swifter than the shambling fish-frog-men.
Bud joins in the play like a child. He ducks swinging amphibian arms, and chortles as he pushes and prods the fish-frog-men over the side. The other employees seem to notice the mortality factor. They scream and panic, running along the deck. Some jump in the water where they are grabbed by fish-frog-men who were already pushed over.
Ash caves in row after row of sharp teeth with the aide of his steel hand.
EXT - BOAT DECK, BOW - DAY
One fisherman is down on the deck. A drooling fish-frog-man leers over the man.
Suddenly, the fish-frog-man's eyes go wide with pain as a large fishhook lodges in the corner of his open mouth.
EXT - BOAT DECK, STERN - DAY
Ash smiles. He is holding the mother-of-all fishing rods.
ASH: Guess I need to tire you out a bit.
Ash reels in the line, lets it out; reels it in. The fish-frog-man stumbles and flops around on the deck.
More fighting. Ash uses his fishing pole like a fighting staff.
The fish-frog-men finally retreat, diving over the edge of the boat to get away. But the fishing line of Ash's pole is still attached to one unfortunate creature. Ash sits himself down in a seat, buckles himself in, and starts reeling.
INT - BOAT CABIN - DAY
Ash kicks in the door of the cabin, where the Innsmouth sailors have holed up.
The sailors are surprised, to say the least.
Ash drops the corpse of the frog-fish-man at their feet.
ASH: We're gonna need a bigger boat.
EXT - INNSMOUTH TOWN LIMITS - DAY
Fisk pulls the bus behind a high sand dune. He is now dressed like a MIB - black suit, tie, shoes, sunglasses. He straightens his tie and walks back toward Innsmouth.
EXT - INNSMOUTH - DAY
Jes's tour group breaks up and goes their separate ways. Jes wanders some streets without a destination. As she proceeds, the buildings are more dilapidate. She finds her way to docks and the waterfront. She holds her nose.
JES: Eeeeeewwwww! When's the last time they cleaned their warehouses?
EXT - INNSMOUTH - DAY
A fishy-looking (in both ways) Innsmouth man waits quietly in the alley. He is armed with a mancatcher - a pole arm that ends in spring-loaded jaws that snap into a collar. He is spying Jes, and waiting for the right moment.
A hand grabs the pole. The Innsmouth man turns in surprise. Another hand presses against his rotund belly. An electrical shock can be seen, as Fisk tasers the man to the ground. The man withers and grovels on the ground.
FISK: Not today, minnow breath.
Fisk crouches down over the man.
FISK: Now, why don't you tell me why you wanted to grab the pretty girl, hmmm?
The Innsmouth man scowls between muscle spasms.
EXT - INNSMOUTH STREET - DAY
A clanging bell makes Jes jump. She looks around for the source of the sound. The streets and buildings are very much empty. Finally she espies swinging bells in the tower of a very old stone church. There is no clock, or any indication of the churches denomination or purpose. It looks abandoned, but the stone has held up better than the wood structures around it.
A door to the cellar of the building stands open. Jes cautiously walks closer.
Something darts by the open door quickly. Jes is unsure, but the audience can almost discern that it was a fish-frog-man, in a flowing purple robe and a tiara.
Jes peers down the stairs into the darkness.
JES: Hello?
(beat)
JES: Are you open for tourists? If I'm bothering you I'll just go away.
(beat)
Jes takes a few steps down the stairs.
EXT - INNSMOUTH ALLEY - DAY
The Innsmouth man is no longer writhing. He is no longer living, either. Fisk is on his cell phone while he prods the corpse with his foot.
FISK: Mister Z, the big fish coming home to spawn. Tonight.
INTERCUT with Szabo's office.
SZABO: Tonight?! He wasn't supposed to be out until 2010.
FISK: He's out now, sir.
SZABO: You're sure?
FISK: Pretty much. I found some papers over at the Dagon church. I'm just gonna double-check at the Old Altar church. But it sounds like he's been out for a month.
SZABO: Black magic amateurs. I swear we need to start a licensing board.
FISK: He's definitely on his way here. I just saved Ash's lady from being a sacrif…
Fisk eyes the open door of the stone church and the empty stairwell. Jes is nowhere to be seen.
FISK: Aw, nuts.
FADE OUT on the dark opening at the bottom of the stairwell to the stone church.
ACT FOUR
EXT - OCEAN COAST - DAY
Massachusetts coastline. The fishing boat is headed into Innsmouth.
INT - BOAT CABIN - DAY
Ash is at the wheel. His face is focused on the town - his single-minded destination.
He only turns to glare at the cowering Innsmouth sailors who say nothing and are tied up in the corner.
Bud is giddy at Ash's side.
BUD: This is so cool. This sure beats fishing, huh, Williams? And you wanted to go to Lake Huron!
Ash doesn't bother answering.
BUD: You watch, the town will be deserted. We'll have to fight our way out, just like in 'Horror At Pismo Beach'. Man, these Innsmouth guys have got it down.
ASH: Yeah.
They are suddenly thrown sideways as the boat rocks violently.
ASH: Where the hell did that come from?
EXT - OCEAN - DAY
Huge waves pound the boat and start to toss it.
EXT - BOAT DECK - DAY
The S-Mart survivors scream and panic, clutching rails and anything they can to keep from being pitched overboard.
INT - BOAT CABIN - DAY
Bud looks out all the windows at the bright sunny day and cloudless sky.
BUD: Must be a storm .. you know .. out at sea.
The boat tosses again.
ASH: A storm, Bud? Mister Magoo can see all the way to Spain out there!
Bud shrugs. His smile only falters for the slightest second.
BUD: Must be a whale. A big one! Like, a sperm whale!
ASH: Yeah. A big one.
EXT - UNDER WATER SHOT - DAY
Two humpback whales frolic in the depths, but don't break the surface of the water.
A human hand, the size of one of the humpback's head, brushes past the whale in a slow stroke.
EXT - INNSMOUTH, STONE CHURCH - DAY
Fisk furtively glances around and then makes his way down the cellar steps.
Ahead of him, Jes is cautiously peering around and making her way along a corridor.
Jes pauses and studies a carving in the wall. The carving is of a merman with a long thick beard and long hair, curled in classic Greek style. He is depicted with an ornate headdress. A word is carved beneath the picture.
JES: A merman? Poseidon? No - where's your trident?
FISK: Not Poseidon.
Jes squeaks and jumps. She turns around, clutching her chest.
FISK: Sorry, didn't mean to startle you.
His smile says otherwise.
JES: The door was just open and ..
FISK: (waves his hand nonchalantly) I'm not here to arrest you for trespassing.
JES: (relaxes) Glad to hear that. What is this place? Who is this guy? (points to carving) I can't make out the inscription. It's not Latin.
FISK: You know Latin?
JES: Some. I'm taking it at school. But they say it's a dead language.
FISK: (mutters) Or a 'language of the dead'. (speaks up) Oh, it can be a useful tool.
And that isn't Latin, it's Sumerian hieroglyphics.
JES: Oh.
FISK: That fellow is Dagon - an old god, not a merman.
JES: Isn't that a little sacrilegious?
FISK: Not in Innsmouth. They use him as an icon for good fishing.
JES: But what about that other church? 'The Esoteric ..'
Fisk spies some movement form the corner of his eye. He impatiently cuts off Jes.
FISK: .. Order of Dagon'. Yeah. They use the church as the local fishing lodge.
JES: Fishing lodge?
FISK: Yeah. Hunters have hunting lodges, fishers got fishing lodges. Anyway, we really shouldn't be in here.
JES: Yeah, you're right. Don't want to overextend my welcome.
Fisk motions with his arm. Jes smiles and walks ahead of him, back towards the entrance.
A fish-frog-man priest in a purple robe and tiara steps out from the shadows as if to give chase.
A steady glare from Fisk (even with his sunglasses on), and a curt shake of his head, give the priest pause. It slinks back into the shadows. Fisk turns and follows Jes up the stairs and into the daylight.
EXT - INNSMOUTH STONE CHURCH - DAY
Jes and Fisk emerge into the daylight.
JES: You know your local history, Mister .. ?
FISK: Smith.
JES: Mister .. Smith.
FISK: I like Innsmouth. I study up on it.
JES: Oh. Any other fishing icons, or is Dagon the only one?
Fisk glances at his watch.
FISK: Dagon is the only one. But, he's a big one.
EXT - OCEAN - DAY
EXT - BOAT DECK - DAY
Reaction shots as jaws drop. Water sprays over the face and fills mouths with brine, but no one bothers to close their mouth or spit.
Ash comes out of the cabin staring in shock.
EXT - OCEAN - DAY
The ocean surface is broken by two wagging humpback whale tails, on either side of a single wagging tail that is five times larger than either whale tail.
EXT - UNDERWATER SHOT - DAY
Dagon swims between the whales. He seems normal, for a giant merman, but he has a very sharp, evil face and red eyes.
EXT - BOAT DECK - DAY
ASH: Time to head in land, Ahab. Good idea, Ishmael.
Ash blots into the cabin and guns the motor as hard as it will go.
EXT - OCEAN - DAY
Dagon's tail quivers, and then bends close to the surface. Back up, closer again.
INT - CABIN - DAY
Ash sees the tail gearing up for one tremendous whack.
ASH: Oh, sh…
EXT - OCEAN - DAY
Dagon's tail slaps the water. A huge wave crashes into the fishing boat. The boat almost capsizes.
EXT - INNSMOUTH - DAY
Fisk and Jes eat ice cream cones on a bench. A few S-Mart employees in sweats jog by and wave.
FISK: .. then they summon Dagon into the ocean from out of space.
JES: Outer space?
FISK: No. Out of .. you know .. like, from beyond.
JES: Beyond.
FISK: Yeah. Then he's free to swim the oceans, but he can't bring himself onto land without a proper sacrifice.
JES: And while he's swimming out there, he drives all the fish toward land.
FISK: Yeah - if you believe that kind of thing. (forces a jovial laugh)
Focus on Jes as she thinks about it and works her cone.
JES: Still, with a guy like that swimming around, fishing might not be so safe.
(beat - no answer)
Jes turns. Fisk is gone. Jes looks around startled by his sudden disappearance.
A noise. A rumble. A roar. Jes turns to see a wave crest.
There is a boat at the top of the crest of the wave.
The wave and boat crash directly down on the waterfront docks, destroying most of them.
The water washes, ankle high, up some of the side streets.
Jes drops her cone and jaw.
The boat skids up and comes to a stop next to her. It is on its side, and has a ragged hole in the bottom.
Ash climbs out of the wreckage. Other stunned fishermen do, too.
Ash saunters up to Jes as if nothing happened.
ASH: Hiya Ginger, have you seen the Professor?
INT - HOTEL BAR - NIGHT
Bud and Ash nurse drinks at the bar. The survivors from the fishing boat are sporting various bandages, numbing themselves with alcohol while their wives chatter and laugh.
From a hidden vantage point, Fisk speaks into his cell phone while eyeing Ash.
INTERCUT WITH SZABO'S OFFICE
SZABO: Any chance they'll try something tonight?
FISK: They might. They've still got seven hours until the star alignment gets out of sync.
But I'll be watching Ash's room. They won't get a chance to sacrifice the girl.
SZABO: Good. That will keep Dagon at the Y-M-C-Atlantic for another two years - or until I send him back - whichever comes first.
FISK: Any idea who called him in?
SZABO: No. Probably some Polynesian witch-doctor trying to help his village with the fishing. Then the Dagonites got wind of it and tried to call him onto land.
FISK: You gonna sterilize the area?
SZABO: Mister Fisk, I'm not a barbarian. If the Innsmouth inbreeds want to call in Dagon, power to them - as long as it doesn't interfere with my plans. Besides, it really is a great place for fishing.
INT - BAR - NIGHT
Bud and Ash at the bar.
BUD: God, today was fun! Can you imagine the money it must have taken them to setup a wave creator out there in the damn ocean? They must make piles of cash!
Bud elaborates with his hands.
BUD: A wave this damn high - and us on top of it! (shakes his head in disbelief) I can't wait for the whale watch tomorrow!
ASH: I can.
BUD: I don't know how S-Mart expects this to be a productive week. I'm having too much fun!
ASH: It's been a productive day. I've already figured out how to save S-Mart money.
BUD: How?
ASH: By saving them the cost of putting up two people in Innsmouth another two days. See ya on Monday, Bud.
Bud is too surprised to make a reply. Ash leaves the bar.
EXT - HOTEL FACADE, INNSMOUTH - DAY
Just as the sun rises, the bus for Boston, with Fisk in disguise as the driver, pulls in. Ash and Jes climb aboard and take a seat in the middle of the empty bus while Fisk wrestles
their luggage into the compartment.
INT - BUS - DAY
ASH: Is this a straight run into Boston?
The bus beings to pull out of town.
FISK: (disguising his voice) Yes, sir.
Jes glances around the empty bus.
JES: It's wonder they make any money. (shrugs) Wake me when we get there.
Jes leans her head against Ash's shoulder. Ash is a little surprised, and then smiles. He closes his eyes, too.
Fisk watches them in the mirror. Satisfied they are asleep, he speeds up the bus and drives like a bat out of hell.
EXT - SOUTH STATION BUS TERMINAL, BOSTON - DAY
The bus pulls into the lot.
INT - BUS - DAY
Ash's head rests on Jes' head. They wake up, and sleepily disembark. Fisk gets their bags.
Ash tips Fisk one dollar.
ASH: Alright, kid. Let's see the big city!
Jes and Ash walk away. Fisk glowers, crumples the dollar bill and throws it on the ground. He retrieves a soft leather briefcase from the bus, and makes his way to the men's bathroom.
EXT - BUS LOT - DAY
Jes is downcast, Ash is looking around.
ASH: What's the matter?
JES: (shrugs) City hustle and bustle. I was enjoying my time at the coast.
Jes gives Ash a big, pouting look.
ASH: Aw, geez. Alright. We've still got two days. I guess we can go do something in the 'burbs for a day. I hear Lexington and Concord aren't very far. Let's find a tour bus.
Jes's eyes go wide with excitement.
JES: Oh! Perfect!!
Jes grabs Ash's arm and starts to pull him along after her. His eyes go wide, and he stammers in protest, but can't find the words.
EXT - BUS LOT - DAY
Fisk emerges from the bathroom, in a brown suit, sans disguise. He finishes stuffing the wig into his briefcase and straightens his tie. He appears very happy with himself, but then
he sees something offscreen. His face twists in angry exasperation. He inhales a deep breath, exhales slowly, and runs a hand down his face. He jabs his hand into his pocket,
and dials his cell phone.
FISK: Mister Z, we've got another complication.
EXT - BUS LOT - DAY
CAMERA On Ash's back, from a low angle, as he is pulled forward by a very excited Jes. As they move to the side of the bus to get aboard, we see the front of the bus. On the grill is a decoration - the black silhouette of a witch on a broom with a black cat on an orange background. As Jes and Ash climb aboard, the camera pans up and stays on the destination sign which reads, "SALEM".
FADE OUT
THE END