Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, it's not mine. The song is Graduation, by Vitamin C it's very sad…
Warnings: Shounen-ai 1x2 3x4 the typical stuff, maybe some angst, sadness, might be a tearjerker, who knows?
/Song lyrics/
"Talking"
'Thoughts'
Note: This story switches points of views very often but it shouldn't be that confusing.
Someday…
By: The infamous Deathwing
Photos adorned the walls of the exceptionally large estate, each framed and a special moment in time captured within each one. They may not have attracted the attention of most people but to some, those scenes embedded in those photos told a tale of friendship, loss, and the struggle for peace.
The house was relatively quiet. If one were to enter through the grand front doors, a long hall would greet them and on either side, framed pictures decked the walls. At the end of the hall, there they would spot a faint glow, shimmering faintly in the darkness that filled the house and when they took a little step further, they would begin to hear voices, laughter, and occasionally, a few sorrowful sighs. If the curious onlooker were to have actually walked down the vast hall and peered into the room where the glow was coming from, a nostalgic scene would be lain before them.
Five boys apparently in their late teens were gathered around a fireplace, conversing in a subdued manner. This was certainly the night to remember for these young men for this may be the last time they ever saw each other ever again.
/So we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same/
Duo laughed quietly as he and the other pilots talked about old memories and past events, during the war, after the war, and before the war. It seemed back then that they would never get through the fighting, that they would never attain peace, and that they would die, fighting to the end like the soldiers they were.
~~*~~
"Aha, yeah Quatre," Duo joked around. "Remember the time you but gunpowder in the chicken you were making and it ended up exploding and…"
"Duo! Shut up! You know as well as I do that YOU were the one who mixed the pepper up…" Quatre scowled and leaned closer to Trowa, who shot the braided ex-pilot a dirty look.
Duo shrugged. "It was only a joke. I didn't mean for it to explode. I've always wanted to taste gunpowdered chicken anyway. You guys gotta lighten up…" He looked away and sighed. "I mean, this may be the last time we're all together like this…"
Quatre looked around at the others around him and laughed softly. These people meant so much to him, everything they had been through, everything they had endured together, those little memories would stick in his mind, he guessed, forever.
"So, what do you think you're all gonna do, where are you guys gonna go?" Duo asked. "You know, I guess I'd be heading back to L2 and maybe just do odd jobs, ya know, for a living…or…" he grimaced at the thought. "I'll go back to being a street orphan again, stealing what I need to survive and whatnot…" He looked away from the others, not wanting the others, especially Heero to see the tears welling up in his eyes. Duo had never been able to decipher the feelings he had for the Japanese youth until a few days ago and he hoped that before they all parted to go their own ways, he would at least be able to muster up the courage to tell Heero how he felt.
Heero, on the other hand, was carefully reviewing everything that had happened in the last fifteen years in his brain, from the time he had started his training under Dr. J to the time when he had met all the other pilots and finally to the present day. What would happen tomorrow? He didn't have any clue. Where he would go, he didn't know.
"Hmm…" Wufei broke the silence. "Who knows where we're all going to be. That's not for us to decide…fate will lead us on."
"I disagree." Everyone turned to look at Trowa. "I think that we are able to decide what we do with our lives. Fate or destiny will have little effect on what we do so we must choose carefully and hope for the best."
"It's been such a long time," Heero muttered. "Since we all met. Who ever knew we would actually go our own ways? I mean personally, I thought I would die during the war."
Duo pursed his lips and let out a muffled gasp. It was so painful to think about it. What exactly would happen to him? 'Heero…I wish…you could understand…and that…we didn't have to go through with this…' They all looked at their feet, hanging their heads in silence.
"Hmmm…I guess I would stay here, on Earth," Quatre began, "And continue my father's business. It's what he would want anyway…" All their minds flashed back to the moment when Quatre's father had died. The screams would last forever in their minds, tainting their very existence.
"What about you, Heero?" Duo asked timidly, "Where are you going?"
Heero's face remained impassive as he said monotonously. "I don't know. I guess I'll just think as I go along."
A long period of silence greeted this statement. All of them knew that they planned to have yearly reunions but like most things, it was easier said than done.
"I should be going now. Since I don't know where I'm going, I think I should go ahead and make up my mind. Relena did ask me to stay with her. I might consider that but for now I think I need some alone time. Good bye and good luck to all of you." Everyone looked at him, giving him a silent farewell and a quiet prayer that they would meet again. Heero got up to leave leaving Duo pondering frantically on what to do next.
/But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out 'cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now 'cause you don't have another day/
Heero walked down the dim hall, gazing nostalgically at the photos that hung on the walls. There was a group picture of all of them, a picture of him and Duo at the beach, Quatre petting a dog, Trowa and Wufei peeling potatoes (1) and many others. He would miss them but he would continue to think that they would see each other again someday in the future.
As he neared the door, he heard footsteps following him. Turning around, Heero came face to face with a pair of shimmering violet eyes.
"Duo?"
"Look, Heero, I need to say a few things before you leave," Duo took in a deep breath. "You're my best friend, you know that? When I met you that day, I knew you were someone I could trust and…I couldn't help myself." He closed his eyes. "I think I fell in love with you, Heero…"
"I know that you probably don't share the same feelings," Duo added quickly with a smile. "But that's okay because, well, I guess it doesn't matter as long as you know…"
Heero chuckled and Duo savored the sound. It was beautiful to hear someone who had known war all their lives laughing.
"What's so funny?" Duo asked, unable to help the laugh that was bubbling from his throat too.
Heero stopped and smiled at the violet-eyed youth. "You know what, I think I love you too, Duo."
"Really?" Duo was startled but the shock quickly vanished as Heero pulled him into a hug.
"Duo, you showed me how to be human again. All those times I told you to shut up, I didn't mean it and I'm glad you didn't stop. You taught me to laugh and forget. I thank you for all that…" Heero felt an unfamiliar wetness on his cheeks and buried his head into Duo's sweet smelling hair.
"Do I hear the Perfect Soldier crying?" Duo teased softly feeling tears come to his eyes as well.
"Duo, shut up," the Perfect-Soldier-no-longer muttered to his new found love.
Duo pulled away, wiping his own eyes. "You know, you can always come to L2 to find me."
"You know I'll go there. But first, I suppose I need to catch up to humanity before I can join you."
Duo beamed. "No problem. I'll wait for you and if you never come…I'll understand."
"Thank you for understanding…and…and goodbye, Duo," Heero whispered gazing sadly into those violet depths.
"Don't I even get a goodbye kiss?" Duo asked shyly, blushing.
"I love you, Duo." Heero smile as he leaned closer and captured Duo's sweet lips in his. He had never kissed anyone before and wondered if it was supposed to feel this good. For a few breathtaking moments they stood like that, pressed together and forgetting everything except their love. They finally broke the kiss and Heero panted softly, taking one last look at the one he loved.
"Good bye, Duo."
"Bye, Heero, see ya, old friend."
Duo watched as Heero walked down the steps to his car and sighed as it drove away and disappeared into the distance.
~~*~~
/'Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love but it came too soon. /
~~*~~
'I had a funny feeling as I drove down the highway toward the shuttleport. It wasn't happiness, and it wasn't sorrow. It was something in between and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. The sun was setting and I looked out the windshield in awe and fascination. There were no sunsets on the colonies. The plainness was enough to drive someone mad up there. My thoughts wondered back to the four fellow pilots behind me. I guess in my years with them, I had begun to except them as family and Duo…he was more than family. I never knew how to feel until I met him, of course, I must of at one time long before that but I don't remember it…or maybe I was this emotionless since I was born. One way or another, I feel human again and I think my life will soar form now on. I planned to go to Relena, explain that I had elsewheres to go and couldn't stay with her. I never liked her anyway. Then, I would find a job, make a living and then visit Duo. That last part was a bit iffy in my mind but I planned to work on it. I loved him and I knew he knew that and it made me comfortable to know that he knew. I drove toward the sunset and glancing back, and that's when I knew that I had found friends for life.'
~~*~~
"I think I should be going too…," Wufei said, starting to his feet. "I'm planning to stay here on Earth a bit then head toward the colonies. I'll see you guys soon."
"Bye Wufei," Quatre said, gazing as the Chinese pilot left the room.
"Good luck, Wufei, and don't let fate boss you around," Trowa added.
~~*~~
Duo spotted Wufei leaving the room as he headed back towards it.
"You leaving too?" Duo asked.
"What is it to you, Maxwell?"
"Wuwu, I know we've never gotten along to well but I wish you the best of luck and I hope you continue to spread your justice through the universe." Duo grinned his trademark grin.
"Thank you, Maxwell, bur don't call me Wuwu." Wufei headed toward the door.
"Whatever you say, Wufie!"
Wufei rolled his eyes. "Please, Maxwell, try to take things seriously in your life." He opened the door and gazed at the sunset.
"See ya, Wufei."
"Bye, Maxwell."
Duo smiled sadly as Wufei shut the door behind him. "You were one heck of a guy, Wuwu."
~~*~~
/And there was me and you and when we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
And we'd get so excited and we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels…/
~~*~~
'Instead of going straight to my car, I walked straight and went that way for a little while. I came across a grassy clearing and I don't know why I did it but I went straight to the middle of it and sat down. I could hear the crickets chirping and the cicadas as well. In the colony where I grew up, you couldn't hear this beautiful night symphony. I sat there for awhile, thinking about all the things that had happened to me over the pass year or two. I had been so stubborn at times and I guess I do have quite a few regrets but I think it's best to forget them. It's funny, but I believed Barton's view on our fate. We have none. We are free to do what we think is right. I know I never was very open to the other pilots but I trusted them as friends. I think I will do what Maxwell told me and serve justice to the world. The job as cop clicked in my mind and I remembered the invitation from the Preventors. I finally felt at peace and trotted back toward my car. I would go out and find Sally as soon as possible.'
~~*~~
Duo watched silently from the doorway as Quatre and Trowa kissed good bye like he and Heero had. He wanted to be the last to leave. Quatre was one of his good friends and he wanted some heart to heart words before he left. The braided ex-pilot smiled as he gazed at the happy couple, exchanging last words and more kisses.
'Gosh, they take so long!' he thought irritably as he glanced at his watch. He cursed in his mind. His shuttle was leaving in three hours and he still had to get to the shuttleport.
Quatre said something inaudible and bowed his head shyly. Trowa smiled and hugged Quatre to him comfortingly. Quatre buried his head in Trowa's chest and sobbed a bit before letting ago and hastily wiping the tears away. He said something else and Trowa nodded understandingly. He put a hand on the small blonde's shoulder, whispered something and stood up. Giving Quatre a last sad smile, the tall ex-pilot headed towards the doorway, surprised to find Duo standing there, grinning.
"Sorry for being such a voyeur, Tro-man, but hey, all's well that ends well, I always say."
Trowa nodded. "You were a good pilot, Duo. Bye."
Duo rolled his eyes. "You talk less than Heero now. You were a great guy, Tro, see ya sometime soon, I hope."
Trowa flashed him a half smile and headed towards the door, glancing back once to see Quatre sobbing onto Duo's shoulder. He would be okay. He had Duo there. Duo would take care of him. Trowa shook his head sadly and headed towards his motorcycle, snapping on his helmet. Hopping on, he revved the engine up and sped away into the night.
~~*~~
/As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be friends forever/
~~*~~
'I felt kind of guilty leaving Quatre to cry like that but I knew Catherine was waiting for me. Besides, Quatre had Duo there to help him and I know I'll see my little angel again. Gut instinct I suppose. I was always one of the silent ones among the five of us. I guess I was trying to follow Heero's lead. I admired him as a soldier and I was dying to be like him. I think I followed a little too well because I barely said a word. Quatre would get mad at me sometimes, and that made me feel horrible. I heard Heero had improved so now, I guess I will too. I'm lost so I follow his example. He always seems to know what he's doing but Duo told me once that Heero's lost as well. I don't believe that or at least I don't want to. But, I need my own life and that's one of my goals…to stop being so dependent on others and actually think for myself for once. It wasn't as easy as it sounded but now, since I had no one for the moment except Catherine, I kind of have to think for myself. That makes me feel free. I thank all my friends now. It's too bad they're not here to hear me.'
~~*~~
"Quatre, please calm down, it'll be okay…" Duo tried desperately to get the young blonde to stop crying.
"No, it won't, Duo! He's not coming back, can't you see? He left, Duo! And I'll never see him again!"
"Quatre, he loves you, of course he's coming back."
That quieted Quatre a bit and he sniffed pitifully. "I-I'm sorry, Duo…I don't know what got into me…I usually don't have a major breakdown like that but I'm so scared. Thank you…for snapping me out of it. I hate when that happens." He excepted the tissue Duo handed him and blew his nose.
"So, Quat, care for a little heart to heart friend to friend chat with your old baka buddy, Duo?" The cheerful American grinned and laughed.
"Sure, Duo…we haven't talked for a long time."
"That's exactly what I've been thinking lately…"
"So, what happened between you and Heero?"
Duo beamed up at Quatre. "I told him…I told him I loved him and you know what? He loves me…of all the people…I never would have believed it."
/So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money
When we look back now, will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule?/
"I knew you could, Duo…" Quatre sighed. "I remember when I told Trowa that I had feelings for him. I was having such a big nervous breakdown that I was literally wetting my pants." Quatre looked at Duo and laughed. "I didn't actually but I was so scared that he would hate me for the rest of my life. He's so stern at times…but I still love him…"
"You're so lucky…" Duo said suddenly and quite randomly.
"What do you mean, Duo?"
"I mean, you grew up in a family that loved you. You were always happy and there were so many things that were open to you. I sometimes wonder to myself: Why did Quatre become a Gundam pilot? He could have lived a great life without war if he wanted to…and…I'm sure if I was in your position, I would have never gotten mixed up in fighting…why, Quatre? Why did you do it?"
"Duo…I'm not sure really…but being mindlessly rich is not the best thing in the world. It has good sides but please, don't wish for it. Be happy with the life you have, Duo. You are blessed…"
Duo looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry…"
"It's okay, Duo…tell me…why did you become a Gundam pilot?"
"Revenge, Quatre…I had a church to avenge and my first best friend as well as my parents. All destroyed by the war…all died by it. I had to end this violence and chaos. It just wasn't right. I was so young then…I met up with Professor G and before I knew it, I was mixed in this horrible war. I'm glad it's all over…"
"Yeah…to tell you honestly…I thought I would die in the war," Quatre sighed. "I never thought I would live to see the end. Every minute I was fighting…every second I could just feel the end coming but I held on…and I made it through. I find it so hard to believe."
"All of us do, Q-man…when I was on L2, I wondered why I hadn't died with everyone else I had loved. It was so painful for me…I just wanted it to end right there…but it was like I had cut a contract with Death or something because I just couldn't die and I couldn't bring myself to do it either," Duo shook his head. "But I'm happy, ya know? I'm actually happy."
"So am I…it's so weird…hey, Duo? Could you do me a favor? Could you tell me what you really think of me…I mean…tell me your true opinion of me, please?"
"Fine…I hope you're not that offended…there aren't that many bad things about you…I mean…you're near perfect. I look up to you, Quatre. I admire you. You're so kind and gentle towards humanity. I'm almost kind of jealous, ya know? You had so many things open to you. Sometimes I see you as a spoiled brat (Quatre blushed at this comment) and sometimes I want to worship you like a god...how can you be so perfect, Quatre? I just don't understand!"
Quatre smile, a lonely half smile. "I'm not perfect, Duo…not in my eyes anyway…we all have different opinions of the word 'perfect' and I just don't see myself as perfect."
/Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Will Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan
I keep thinking this is not good bye
Keep on thinking it's our time to fly.
And this is how it feels…/
"I still think you're perfect, Quat…sorry…"
"Oh, Duo!" Quatre launched himself at the braided boy and hugged him tightly. "You're my BEST friend, you know that?! My absolute BEST friend EVER! I love you as a friend and…I hope you do well…" he sniffed. "You weren't serious about becoming a street kid were you?"
Duo shrugged. "I don't know…I just might…"
"Please don't, Duo…" Quatre pleaded. "You can do so much more than that."
"I'll try…Quatre…I really will…" Duo wanted to cry again. 'Oh Quatre…' Duo looked at his watch again and gasped. "Quatre…I really have to go…my shuttle leaves in half an hour!" he hugged Quatre briefly and hurried to his feet. Yelling back at his friend, Duo felt tears running down his cheeks. "Good bye Quatre! We'll meet again! You'll see! Someday, we'll all be back here again! All of us! And then we'll talk and be happy. Bye! See ya soon, Quat!"
Quatre sobbed as he watched Duo leave…he was all alone now…in this big empty house. "Bye, Duo…"
/As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be friends forever./
'I watched Duo go with a heavy heart. It had been bad enough when Trowa left but now I was all alone in this big empty house. I had given Rashid and the rest of the Maguanacs a vacation so they wouldn't be back for a few days. I collapsed on the sofa, watching the dying embers of the fire glowing brightly. Shadows were cast all over the place and I felt peaceful. Outside the crickets chirped and the stars twinkled. I hoped Duo's last words were true…that we would all be together again…like old times…chatting and laughing. I'll never forget what's happened to our star-crossed group over the past few years. It seems like just yesterday we were battling for our lives. I hope the others follow their dreams and achieve their goals. I plan to visit the circus one day in the future. I love Trowa…and I know he loves me. So good luck, all my friends, I hope we meet again!'
~~*~~
/Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're woman and men.
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us around?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town?
I keep thinking this is not goodbye
I keep on thinking it's our time to fly/
~~*~~
'I sped along the empty highway, blinking back tears and exhaustion. I did think Quatre was perfect, not as perfect as Heero but still perfect. Quatre reminds me of Sister Helen, gentle, caring and a lover of life. As the words tumbled out of mouth as I left, I thought I was just saying them to comfort Quat, but now I realize, I had believed them and they were my wishes. Now I see that I meant every single word I said back there from the time when I said I would wait for Heero to when I left and said we would all meet again one day. I will forget the war and put it behind me. It's a painful thing to remember but I know that memories will never vanish completely. I already missed Heero terribly and I hope he will come visit me soon after I arrive at L2. Hilde and I were thinking of starting a scrap yard together. She's pretty good at mechanics and that stuff though she doesn't look it. I'll occupy my time until Heero comes and if he never comes, I'll be happy and I will continue to wait. I run, I hide, but I never lie…and I said I would wait for him and I won't lie about that. In the meanwhile, my heart knows that we will all meet again. I just know, somehow we will all be together again.'
/As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be friends forever./
'Yeah, we'll all be together again. Someday.'
~Owari~
- Have you ever seen that peeling potatoes picture? Isn't it cute?
~~*~~This was one of those "spur of the moment" fics and it's the longest thing I've ever written. Was it sad? Bad? Rad? Tell me your opinion, please! R&R! Thank you! I hope you enjoyed the story. ~~*~~