Disclaimer: Okay I don't own the actual scenes or dialogue from Miss Congeniality but I do own the extensions to the scenes and the character McGuire.

A.N. I went back and put the exact dialogue from the movie in the first two chapters if you want to back and reread, otherwise enjoy.


Chapter Three: The Training Room


I saunter into the FBI training room and make my way over to Grace. She's wrathfully attacking a dummy. More specifically she's about to take its head off and I only hope she isn't pretending that dummy is me. I'm not quite sure how to start this conversation or ask her to do this for me so I decide on the direct approach. Lining myself up to the dummy so at one point at least she'll have to look at me I say "Whaddya say Heart?"

Angrily she continues her tirade on the defenseless dummy, "No freakin' way."

I can see this is going to be harder than I expected. "Come on Sparky, why not?" I add a sweet tone to my voice to help convince her. It doesn't seem to be working.

Her attack on the dummy seems to worsen the closer I get to it and in a sarcastic voice she answers me "Because I'm not gonna parade around in a swimsuit like some airhead bimbo that, what, goes by the name Gracie Lou Freebush and all she wants is world peace."

Okay so being nice didn't work, not like it ever did with her. What would get to Grace? I've got it, she always wants to feel like she's part of the team. "It wouldn't be like that. Come on, you'd be an important member of the undercover team."

She's definitely not buying it. "Yeah right. In a thong." Grace kicks the head of the dummy and narrowly misses hitting me. I'm not naïve enough to believe that was an accident so I move.


I circle behind he and lean in. She doesn't exactly have the best smell radiating off her but I never mind getting close to her. "Hey! In a tasteful one piece. Come on, you do a few butt shaping exercises," I lightly slap her ass, it's a nice ass, "tighten this up. You could pull this off."

"Pull this off." Grace pulls me into a headlock. I feel like a huge pervert because I'm actually getting off on this. I mean I have a great view of the chest. She hides it way too much. "What, is it because MacDonald hates me?"

"He doesn't hate you." I try to reassure her and get out of this strong grip she has on me. I never really noticed how muscular her arms are until now.

"What is it some kind of woman thing?" Grace asks me. I don't answer right away. Instead I flip her forward down to the mats.

I lean over her and prepare to lie. "Don't kid yaself. No one thinks of you that way." That's a total and utter lie. A lot of the guys have talked about her in the locker room. And I myself have spent excessive time thinking about what she's hiding under her clothes.

Grace grabs my arm and forces me to the ground so she's on top of me. Once again I feel like a total sicko as this reminds me of the kinky things we could do at my place sometime. "He's punishing me isn't he?"

I decide to level with her. "Listen I had to beg him to let you do this."

"What?!?" I can hear the surprise in her voice and realize I have something to bargain with now.

"Yeah, that's right. Like it or not you screwed up pal." I know quilting her into doing this is kind of sleazy but I really need her help. Besides if she doesn't come with me she'll be stuck here with McGuire and I CANT let that happen.

We roll over one another until we're at the corner of the mat. She flips me over herself and then forcefully pushes me down. Grace straddles her legs around my neck. I kick and flounder around afraid if we don't end this little training session soon she'll realize my comment earlier about her not being seen as a woman isn't true.

"This may come as a shock to you but I've never been in a beauty pageant. I don't even own a dress. I don't even own a brush." Her guard is down as she flails her arms in the air to make to make her point.

I take this opportunity to wrap my legs around her chest and push her body down. I really need to get out of here. "Which part of that is supposed to shock me?" I try to fool myself into thinking if we argue like friends then we are nothing more than friends.

She squeezes her legs that are still around my neck and we fall to the side. By now there is a rather large crowd gathered around us. "Alright, let's suspend reality for like a second and pretend I said yes. Your sayin' I have to do everything, like the makeup, the whole big hair thing and the..."

I don't give her a chance to finish the sentence, as I know I already have her hook, line, and sinker. Plus the way her voice sounded all smushed like was getting on my nerves. " Damn right, the spinning, the twirling, the smiling, the cute little tap number." I dance my fingers about an inch and a half below her waist. She smacks my hand away as predicted.

"Hey, hey." She squeezes her legs and gets up to elbow drop me. She puts me into another headlock. I grab Grace from behind and flip her forward. She's panting heavily from the work out on the floor. In my mind she's panting from something entirely different. I need out NOW.

"So your sayin' I HAVE to wear the bathing suit?" she asks between breaths.

"Yeah, you have to wear the bathing suit." I tell her as I lean over her once again. She really is beautiful.

"Okay." She tells me and kicks my legs out from underneath me. I forgot the golden rule, never do the victory dance before you opponent is secured. "Well, where am I gonna put my gun?"

This question catches me off guard. I definitely hadn't expected that. In fact I thought id be in the locker room by now. In a nice cold shower. "No place I wanna know." I tell her. Great, I've lied to her twice with in 20 minutes. I slap her ass again. Well at least that makes me feel slightly better.