A.N. Here it is, the POOL scene. Hope I don't disappoint.
Chapter Nine: Confessions
I'm swimming as if my life depended on it. Back and forth, back and forth, that's all I can concentrate on. If I even let one of the thoughts that threatens to break down my invisible concentration wall through then it's all over. I try to out swim them to no avail. So I give in and my fragile psyche is bombarded with words that sting and threaten to make me actually cry. Angry, jealous, cell phone, beautiful, fired, anti-tobacco, Grace, lust, yearn, taken, McGuire, failure, MacDonald. The words past faster and faster until I feel something come in contact with the back of my head. Startled I stop swimming and I see beautiful, innocent Grace standing by the pool. Her face is a ten-car pile up of emotions.
"Just wanted to let you know I was quittin', alright? Take care." She says most of the emotions disappearing into determination.
"Hold on a second, wait a minute. Whaddaya mean your quittin'?" I ask still dazes by the vision she is in that pink dress. Most people would find it unappealing on her but she could wear anything and I would still think she looked divine. My mind grasps the concept she is quitting and I panic.
"I mean you got the wrong girl, alright?" Her features have turned angry and I'm amazed that she does what she does with such an expressive face. I smile inwardly as I realize I'm probably one of the very few people who have ever seen her be so expressive. Has McGuire ever seen her like this? The thought makes me angry and I remember Grace's phone call. We HAVE to talk about that.
"Heart I do not need this now." I tell her trying to make her understand that I mean that on more than one level. Yes, it would be a pain in the ass replacing her now but to have all these feelings crop up on my very first op by myself is also something I don't need. Not that I regret falling for Grace because that's what I'm doing. I'm falling in love with my best friend.
"I know you don't need this right now that is what I'm sayin' alright? I'm totally screwin' up in there. I don't even feel like a real agent anymore. I mean Vic say this thing that's so...agh! You know, I don't care what he said, I don't care what he said. I just I...I...I don't care, ya know because I am the job and I'm okay with that. I mean you're the job." Grace rants pacing. She reminds me of a young girl complaining to her best friend that her date called to cancel and how it doesn't matter because she never really wanted to go anyway. And you just know that she did because of the way she's overanalyzing the situation and I makes you smile to yourself when she's not looking. I know Grace wanted to do this deep down, I just know. Having two younger sisters I know how to handle a situation like this.
"Yeah, I'm the job." You just have to agree sometimes.
"Right, right." Grace seems frustrated and sits looking torn about how she really feels yet needing to rant more.
"We're all the job." I coax her hoping to provoke a less intense reaction than the last time I said something. She seems to be calming down which is a great relief to me and I relax slightly.
"You're the job so then what's wrong with me? I date. I go on dates. I know, I know everyone thinks I haven't had a date in about ten years. Is that, is that what you think?" Grace fumes taking her rage and frustration out on me. I don't mind. It's times like these that I thank Lucy and Jamie, my sisters. Had it not been for the million and one rants I had been subjected to hearing as they grew up I might not know what to do. But I do and snottily think McGuire would have No idea what to say to her. He'd probably say everything all wrong and she'd hate him forever.
"No, I think you date." I soothe. In fact, I know you date Gracie Lou. The office was on fire with gossip when you and McGuire went out. Note to self, check with secretary to see if any rumors about myself are going around.
"Damn right I do." Grace's face is locked in utter determination and I realize she never had anyone to rant to before. She's never really had any friends and to rant stuff like this to your parents is useless. She has no siblings. Suddenly I want to reach out and hold her in my arms and give her all the childhood memories and experiences she should have had. "But you know both times it was totally screwed up. You know, I don't even care. All I want to do is my job and for the last three days I feel like I'm completely lost."
I feel bad that acting like a real woman hurts her. That she feels she can't even do something as basic as that right. I know she saw this op as a way to show MacDonald that what happened at the Russian restaurant was a fluke, a freak accident. But she can't do that if wearing a dress and heels like normal women is too much for her. I again want to rush over there and wrap my arms around her and never, ever let go. To comfort her like no one but myself could. Insecurity creeps into the back of my mind, ,maybe McGuire could comfort her too. "Heart, listen to me. I have been waiting five years for my own op. Do you really think I'd blow it on the wrong girl?" that seemed like the perfect thing to say.
"No, no, no I know the only reason you picked me is because I'm the only one who looked half decent in a bikini and wasn't on maternity leave." Self-doubt is so clearly written across my Grace's face that I barely recognize her. This overwhelming feeling of sadness rushes over me like a tidal wave. I figure the only thing left to do was something I really didn't want to do right now.
"No, that's why they let me pick you. Do you wanna know why I picked you?" I was going to have to do it. Now or never.
"Lost a bet?" Grace half heartedly guessed.
"Because your smart. Because you don't take any crap from people. Your funny, your easy to talk to when your not armed. Give yourself a break. Cut Vic and the other pageant ladies some slack because if they ever get a chance to see what I see then their gonna love you." I say hesitantly. I HATE baring my soul to anyone but if it's what Grace needs then I'm more than ready to try it. Anything for Grace. "So whaddya say?"
Grace appears to think it over. Settling on a decision I hold my breathe as she speaks, "Alright, I won't let you down."
I can't stop the smile from forming on my face. I keep my voice authoritive as I speak so to bring up her self esteem. "Good. That's what I wanna hear."
"I mean in all honesty I might let you down but I'ma I'ma try not to." She tells me smiling herself and I melt. I am sooo ecstatic that she let me help her, that I succeeded, that my Grace was staying with me. I think she needed to hear what was in my heart because I truly believe she's never been told what a wonderful person she is before. I love that I could be the on be to show her that. I toss a taunting look her way and she tosses out her arm to stop me as a laugh passes through my lips.
"Eh! Do not mess with the dress." She informs me as I pull her into the pool with me. She comes up looking like a gorgeous mermaid-like misfit. "OOOOOH, Vic is gona Kiiiill you!"
"What?" I ask innocently. She gives me a dirty look and I figure out its because she's cold and the dress must weigh a ton now that its wet.
"You in big trouble." She spits the words out at me. Slight amusement tempting to show in her eyes.
"What? You fell." I tell her expecting she'll get I mean that should be her excuse. Now that the drama is over I'm feeling playful and I want Grace to benefit from that.
"Big trouble." Is all she says as a response making her way over to the edge of the pool.
"You actually...you look good wet." I try luring her back with a compliment. Judging from the death stare I get she's not buying it. I mean it though. Someday I'll let her know how I feel but first we need to clear up this McGuire issue.
"Shut up!" Grace snaps at me a smile on her face and I know she gets the compliment was sincere.
**********( this is an extension to this scene)***********
I grab Grace's arm before she gets out of the pool. "Wait there's something I want to ask you."
Intrigued she turns and looks at me. "Hold on." She pulls the rubber band out of her hair and goes underwater and smoothes her hair down emerging like some supermodel or a character on a day -time soap opera. She tilts her head ready to listen fastening the rubber band in a low loss ponytail behind her head. "Go ahead." She instructs.
I swallow hard, my throat suddenly dry. Why is this so hard? I just have to admit I happen to be in the lobby when she was on the phone with McGuire. She'll understand, won't she? "I..uh.. wanted to ask you...." I draw in a deep breath and say it "have you talked to McGuire lately?"
A perplexed expression muddles up her face and she stares at me curiously. "As a matter of fact, yes. The first day we got here. Why?"
Because I'm insanely jealous. "Because I...lost his new cell number and I need authorization on something." I am a wuss, a HUGE wuss.
"Oh, well I'll give it to you tomorrow. Is that all? You look like you want to say something else." She asks concern replacing her previous expression.
"No that's it. Goodnight Gracie Lou." I tell stepping closer to help her up onto the cement surrounding the pool. I place my hands on her hips and in one swift move she's sitting on the pool edge.
"Goodnight Eric." She whispers in my ear. When I lifted her, her body had been pressed close to mine, close enough for her to whisper in my ear. My whole body shivered from the gentle touch of her cheek to my own. She sat back smiled and got up to go to her room.
Chapter Nine: Confessions
I'm swimming as if my life depended on it. Back and forth, back and forth, that's all I can concentrate on. If I even let one of the thoughts that threatens to break down my invisible concentration wall through then it's all over. I try to out swim them to no avail. So I give in and my fragile psyche is bombarded with words that sting and threaten to make me actually cry. Angry, jealous, cell phone, beautiful, fired, anti-tobacco, Grace, lust, yearn, taken, McGuire, failure, MacDonald. The words past faster and faster until I feel something come in contact with the back of my head. Startled I stop swimming and I see beautiful, innocent Grace standing by the pool. Her face is a ten-car pile up of emotions.
"Just wanted to let you know I was quittin', alright? Take care." She says most of the emotions disappearing into determination.
"Hold on a second, wait a minute. Whaddaya mean your quittin'?" I ask still dazes by the vision she is in that pink dress. Most people would find it unappealing on her but she could wear anything and I would still think she looked divine. My mind grasps the concept she is quitting and I panic.
"I mean you got the wrong girl, alright?" Her features have turned angry and I'm amazed that she does what she does with such an expressive face. I smile inwardly as I realize I'm probably one of the very few people who have ever seen her be so expressive. Has McGuire ever seen her like this? The thought makes me angry and I remember Grace's phone call. We HAVE to talk about that.
"Heart I do not need this now." I tell her trying to make her understand that I mean that on more than one level. Yes, it would be a pain in the ass replacing her now but to have all these feelings crop up on my very first op by myself is also something I don't need. Not that I regret falling for Grace because that's what I'm doing. I'm falling in love with my best friend.
"I know you don't need this right now that is what I'm sayin' alright? I'm totally screwin' up in there. I don't even feel like a real agent anymore. I mean Vic say this thing that's so...agh! You know, I don't care what he said, I don't care what he said. I just I...I...I don't care, ya know because I am the job and I'm okay with that. I mean you're the job." Grace rants pacing. She reminds me of a young girl complaining to her best friend that her date called to cancel and how it doesn't matter because she never really wanted to go anyway. And you just know that she did because of the way she's overanalyzing the situation and I makes you smile to yourself when she's not looking. I know Grace wanted to do this deep down, I just know. Having two younger sisters I know how to handle a situation like this.
"Yeah, I'm the job." You just have to agree sometimes.
"Right, right." Grace seems frustrated and sits looking torn about how she really feels yet needing to rant more.
"We're all the job." I coax her hoping to provoke a less intense reaction than the last time I said something. She seems to be calming down which is a great relief to me and I relax slightly.
"You're the job so then what's wrong with me? I date. I go on dates. I know, I know everyone thinks I haven't had a date in about ten years. Is that, is that what you think?" Grace fumes taking her rage and frustration out on me. I don't mind. It's times like these that I thank Lucy and Jamie, my sisters. Had it not been for the million and one rants I had been subjected to hearing as they grew up I might not know what to do. But I do and snottily think McGuire would have No idea what to say to her. He'd probably say everything all wrong and she'd hate him forever.
"No, I think you date." I soothe. In fact, I know you date Gracie Lou. The office was on fire with gossip when you and McGuire went out. Note to self, check with secretary to see if any rumors about myself are going around.
"Damn right I do." Grace's face is locked in utter determination and I realize she never had anyone to rant to before. She's never really had any friends and to rant stuff like this to your parents is useless. She has no siblings. Suddenly I want to reach out and hold her in my arms and give her all the childhood memories and experiences she should have had. "But you know both times it was totally screwed up. You know, I don't even care. All I want to do is my job and for the last three days I feel like I'm completely lost."
I feel bad that acting like a real woman hurts her. That she feels she can't even do something as basic as that right. I know she saw this op as a way to show MacDonald that what happened at the Russian restaurant was a fluke, a freak accident. But she can't do that if wearing a dress and heels like normal women is too much for her. I again want to rush over there and wrap my arms around her and never, ever let go. To comfort her like no one but myself could. Insecurity creeps into the back of my mind, ,maybe McGuire could comfort her too. "Heart, listen to me. I have been waiting five years for my own op. Do you really think I'd blow it on the wrong girl?" that seemed like the perfect thing to say.
"No, no, no I know the only reason you picked me is because I'm the only one who looked half decent in a bikini and wasn't on maternity leave." Self-doubt is so clearly written across my Grace's face that I barely recognize her. This overwhelming feeling of sadness rushes over me like a tidal wave. I figure the only thing left to do was something I really didn't want to do right now.
"No, that's why they let me pick you. Do you wanna know why I picked you?" I was going to have to do it. Now or never.
"Lost a bet?" Grace half heartedly guessed.
"Because your smart. Because you don't take any crap from people. Your funny, your easy to talk to when your not armed. Give yourself a break. Cut Vic and the other pageant ladies some slack because if they ever get a chance to see what I see then their gonna love you." I say hesitantly. I HATE baring my soul to anyone but if it's what Grace needs then I'm more than ready to try it. Anything for Grace. "So whaddya say?"
Grace appears to think it over. Settling on a decision I hold my breathe as she speaks, "Alright, I won't let you down."
I can't stop the smile from forming on my face. I keep my voice authoritive as I speak so to bring up her self esteem. "Good. That's what I wanna hear."
"I mean in all honesty I might let you down but I'ma I'ma try not to." She tells me smiling herself and I melt. I am sooo ecstatic that she let me help her, that I succeeded, that my Grace was staying with me. I think she needed to hear what was in my heart because I truly believe she's never been told what a wonderful person she is before. I love that I could be the on be to show her that. I toss a taunting look her way and she tosses out her arm to stop me as a laugh passes through my lips.
"Eh! Do not mess with the dress." She informs me as I pull her into the pool with me. She comes up looking like a gorgeous mermaid-like misfit. "OOOOOH, Vic is gona Kiiiill you!"
"What?" I ask innocently. She gives me a dirty look and I figure out its because she's cold and the dress must weigh a ton now that its wet.
"You in big trouble." She spits the words out at me. Slight amusement tempting to show in her eyes.
"What? You fell." I tell her expecting she'll get I mean that should be her excuse. Now that the drama is over I'm feeling playful and I want Grace to benefit from that.
"Big trouble." Is all she says as a response making her way over to the edge of the pool.
"You actually...you look good wet." I try luring her back with a compliment. Judging from the death stare I get she's not buying it. I mean it though. Someday I'll let her know how I feel but first we need to clear up this McGuire issue.
"Shut up!" Grace snaps at me a smile on her face and I know she gets the compliment was sincere.
**********( this is an extension to this scene)***********
I grab Grace's arm before she gets out of the pool. "Wait there's something I want to ask you."
Intrigued she turns and looks at me. "Hold on." She pulls the rubber band out of her hair and goes underwater and smoothes her hair down emerging like some supermodel or a character on a day -time soap opera. She tilts her head ready to listen fastening the rubber band in a low loss ponytail behind her head. "Go ahead." She instructs.
I swallow hard, my throat suddenly dry. Why is this so hard? I just have to admit I happen to be in the lobby when she was on the phone with McGuire. She'll understand, won't she? "I..uh.. wanted to ask you...." I draw in a deep breath and say it "have you talked to McGuire lately?"
A perplexed expression muddles up her face and she stares at me curiously. "As a matter of fact, yes. The first day we got here. Why?"
Because I'm insanely jealous. "Because I...lost his new cell number and I need authorization on something." I am a wuss, a HUGE wuss.
"Oh, well I'll give it to you tomorrow. Is that all? You look like you want to say something else." She asks concern replacing her previous expression.
"No that's it. Goodnight Gracie Lou." I tell stepping closer to help her up onto the cement surrounding the pool. I place my hands on her hips and in one swift move she's sitting on the pool edge.
"Goodnight Eric." She whispers in my ear. When I lifted her, her body had been pressed close to mine, close enough for her to whisper in my ear. My whole body shivered from the gentle touch of her cheek to my own. She sat back smiled and got up to go to her room.