Disclaimer: Chibi Hee-chan: *looking at the ground* PrussianCrystal does not own Gundam Wing.....and stop staring at me or
omae o korosu! *snorts and walks away*
-Ice
It was closer to dawn than to dusk. Yet that could not be
determined by simply peering out the window. The sky was as black
as midnight and
littered with shiny white stars. Walking outside would be a deadly
mistake, for it was at least thirty below zero. A new layer of snow
was being
formed upon the ground and the rain was just a gentle mist. It
was far from a storm.
The safe house was covered in snow, snow that was inches away
from reaching the top of the window, which was opened a crack. The
inhabitants of
the safe house could not get it to shut. It was opened at least
an inch, but it made all the difference and cold air poured in like water
from a
waterfall. The only people in the safe house were the five, lonely
but strong gundam pilots. Trowa was badly injured, as was Wufei,
and Duo with
minor injuries. But the cold wasn't helping any of them. The safe house had but two rooms, a room to sleep in and a room to eat
in. There was no
bathroom, just a small hole in the corner of the room they slept in. And, well, the eating room didn't serve its purpose.
They had been there for almost a week now, snowed in, with nothing. There was one blanket, which was hardly fought over. In the end it
was given
to Trowa, who was the only one that really needed it. Wufei refused
to have it despite his serious injuries, the remaining three just refused. Today,
their sixth day without food and little sleep, each was weak and tired,
but it was just too cold to sleep. Heero had given up his sweatshirt
to Trowa,
who was now near death, and Quatre had willingly handed over his vest
and over shirt to Wufei. That left both Heero and Quatre in thin
tank tops, but
neither seemed to mind, or complain.
The silence of the night was disturbed only by the quietly ticking
of the old clock hanging high on the wall. Trowa was curled up in
the blanket, half
asleep, shivering and coughing thickly every once in a while. Wufei was leaning against the wall, his discomfort completely apparent
from his
expression. Not only was he wounded, but he had gone into a state
of shock from the cold. He wouldn't talk to anyone, and everything
he did say
made absolutely no sense. Quatre was watching over Trowa, unable
to get to sleep, wincing every time he heard that sickening cough. Duo was
sitting across from Heero, who had gotten extremely pale. His
tank top looked twice as big on him and even the spandex seemed less tight. He had
given up all the food he had to Trowa, worried that he might die if
he rationed it evenly.
Duo looked pretty bad himself. He was nearly hidden in his
now oversized clothes, often curled up into a ball. He had even released
his hair to
protect him from the chill. Every once in a while he would lift
his head to glance at Heero, and felt a sinking feeling in his stomach
as he did. His lips
were turning blue. His eyes were watering, but his expression
showed no sign of being the slightest bit chilly. Duo untucked himself
from his
position, spreading his legs out in front of him, stretching.
ÒHey, Heero?Ó He said as normally as he could. He
couldn't help his teeth chattering together nor hide the slight concern
in his voice. The nearly
frozen pilot looked up. The expression Duo saw was no longer
normal. Heero looked hurt, scared, and cold, like a child. His eyes were pleading Duo
to do something about it. At least, that's what Duo saw.
ÒDo you want my jacket?Ó He asked with shaky lips, shifting
his body so he could tug off the black jacket that was his only warmth. Heero's eyes
widened a bit but his expression didn't change. Then he instantly
shook his head.
ÒNo.Ó Was all he said, not giving Duo the slightest hint of reason why he didn't want the jacket. Duo was surprised by his answer.
"Its really OK, Heero. I have a long sleeved shirt underneath and you look like your-Ó
ÒNo, Duo.Ó Heero said firmly, a hint of warning in his voice. He wrapped his arms around his body, looking away from Duo who was staring
at him in
complete shock. He rose to his knees in anger.
ÒGod, Heero! You're so stubborn! If you don't get
something on besides your crappy tank top and shorts you're going to freeze!Ó He was barley
aware that his yelling had stirred Trowa awake, and caught Quatre and
Wufei's attention, but completely aware that Heero was ignoring him.
ÒDuo...leave him alone.Ó Quatre said. There was sympathy
in his voice. Duo didn't know if it was for him or for Heero. He looked at Quatre, his body
shaking more than before.
ÒHe'll die..Ó Duo whispered, then his eyes narrowed again
and he spun around to face Heero, ÒYou'll die, Heero!Ó The Wing pilot
didn't even turn his
head to meet Duo's angry gaze. After a moment when nothing but
Duo's heavy breathing could be heard, Heero tilted his head to look at
the clock. It
was nearly noon. Noon. Lunch time. The time when
the cool morning air cleared away and the sun began to heat everything
up. Not here. The snow
was still coming down hard outside. The snow wasn't powder at
all. It was thick, almost solid ice and it pounded on the tin roof
like thunder.
Sometimes the snow would die down, and it would rain again, which turned
into hail stones the size of golf balls. Heero was waiting for the
rain. It
might be his only chance to get out and get help.
ÒI'm going to try the communicator again.Ó Duo announced,
stretching his slouched form into a standing position. On shaky legs
he walked towards
their belongings, thrown in a pile. Food had desperately been
dug from each one of their bags, but they found nothing more then a few
calcium
tablets and a water bottle. Duo had come to the conclusion that
the broken communicator was their only hope. He had tried numerous
times to fix
it, but Heero had looked at it, thrown it aside and said, ÒIts worthless.Ó And somewhere inside of him, Duo knew that he was right, but refused to
admit it.
So now everyone ignored him as they knew they couldn't stop him. He had gotten up to fix it at least twice in the last hour. And every
time someone
told him to stop, it would erupt in yelling and throwing unnecessary
insults. So no one bothered anymore.
Duo, flipping his damp hair over one shoulder, fumbled the zipper
of his bag with his frozen fingers. It was even more difficult to
open than last
time. Finally tugging it open with his teeth, Duo grabbed the
communicator and hit the ÔonÕ switch, sitting down and pulling the device
down with
him. It was on, but no lights blinked, and there was no humming
sound coming from the electric device. ÔMaybe it's not on,Õ He prayed,
glancing back
at the on-off switch.
ÒI'm going crazy..Ó Duo murmured, tossing the machine back
into his bag carelessly. He lied down, head on the cold floor and
feet on his bag, and
stared at the ceiling, listening the pounding of the snow that whispered
death.
It was nearly 6:00 when one of them spoke again. And it was Heero with the obvious.
ÒIt stopped snowing.Ó Hoping everyone was asleep, the boy
got to his feet. He was dizzy, and tired. But it was now or
never. He scanned his quick
eyes over his comrades. He couldn't see Trowa anymore. He was curled up in the blanket, which was shaking slightly. Quatre
was right next to him,
asleep and curled, grasping his own sleeves to pull his arms even tighter
to his body. Wufei was leaning against the same wall he had been
against
since they got there, shaking, and staring at the wall in front of
him. Heero knew he hadn't heard him. A person in shock rarely
pays any attention to
their surroundings. What they hear, see, or feel is all a blur. Duo was in same position he had been six hours ago, but now he was mumbling
something at the ceiling. At least his eyes were closed..
Heero didn't want to wake anyone for two reasons: one, they probably
wouldn't be able to get back to asleep until tomorrow when the snow stopped
again. Two, they would probably try to stop him. Resulting in
more energy being wasted and Heero not being able to make it out. So quietly, the
soldier crept towards his bag, kneeled down and opened it up. He pulled a scrap piece of paper that he used to sketch out an attack,
and pulled out
is black pen from the side pocket. He scribbled a few words down,
and gently tucked it into the side of Duo's collar. After all, he
would have wanted
to be the first one to know.
Once that stage of the mission was complete, Heero walked as silently
as his feet would carry him to the door, and opened it quickly, just in
case it
decided to creek. He closed the door behind him as he stepped
into the kitchen, and immediately felt a sheet of cold air cover him. Biting his lip to
keep from crying out, Heero scanned the room. The snow had entered
through the window, and had formed quite a large pile at the bottom of
it.
Heero side stepped to the refrigerator, opened it and pulled out their
water thermos. It was nearly empty. Trowa had to have at least
two cups a
day to keep him alive, and that was nearly their whole water supply. Gripping the thermos with his swollen fingers, Heero knelt by the snow
and
began to gather it with his bare hands and stuffing it into the thermos. Once he had it filled up, his hands were red and even more swollen.
Despite that, he carried the thermos back to the fridge and stuck it
inside. The snow would be melted by morning.
When morning came, Quatre was the first one to wake up. Mostly because of the severe dryness in his mouth. He needed water. The blond boy was
about to get up, but something stopped him when he spotted Trowa. Trowa needed that water, and Quatre couldn't find it within himself to
take it
away from him..even if his mouth was dry for weeks. The second
thing Quatre noticed was that it wasn't as cold than it was the day before. The rain
had stopped, and there was no sign of heavy ice snow, nor hail. It was clear today. The first clear day they had since they got there. Today could be
the day they got out. Quatre became somewhat excited and was
ready to wake everyone up and tell them the good news, until he realized
the third
thing different since he woke up. Heero was gone.
But in fact, Heero was far from gone. He had barley gotten
a mile away from the safe house before he collapsed. It was just
too cold out there, and
he wasn't wearing anything more than a tank top and shorts. Of
course, he had realized what he was doing was suicide, but that never seemed
to be
an issue for Heero. He always made it through, one way or another.
He had been through extreme cold before. He was used to it. *They* made him
get used to it. Once they had locked him a giant freezer for
twenty-four hours with no food and no water...when he was nine. He
was a lot stronger
than that now. But this place was no freezer, it was colder than
Siberia, colder than jumping in the Atlantic on a cold day, naked. *This* was cold.
When Heero woke up, he felt something that he hadn't felt for
weeks. The sun. It the blazing on his back and he found himself
lying in a shallow
puddle. The snow was beginning to melt. The storm was finally
over. Still, it could be hours before he could actually stand up
again. He couldn't feel
his body at all, just the fabulous warmth of the sun on his back. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad lying their for a couple hours, or at least
long enough to
defrost...
ÒHeero's *what?*Ó Duo asked sleepily, stretching his arms and
legs out luxuriously. Even he noticed it wasn't as cold and uncomfortable
as most
mornings.
ÒHe's *gone*, Duo. I looked it the kitchen and everything. He's gone. But he did leave us a thermos full of water.Ó Quatre,
holding up the thermos as
evidence of Heero's sudden disappearance. That got Duo awake.
ÒHe couldn't have left. He'd die out there and he knows
it.Ó Duo said, the tone of his voice hinted with worry. He
sat up, thinking. He remembered Heero
jumping out of that building and not releasing his parachute. He remembered Heero risking his life to deactivate missiles within ten
minutes. He
remembered Heero going off to fight alone. Heero wasn't afraid.
ÒI can't believe this. *Now* I have to go look for him.Ó Duo said. Quatre's jaw dropped halfway.
ÒY-youÕve got to be kidding. You'll die out there too!Ó Quatre yelled, trying to reason with the braided boy. Duo turned
to him with death glinting in
his eyes.
ÒHeero is *not* dead. But he's going to be if I don't go
and find him. You stay here and take care of Trowa and Wufei.Ó Duo started, but Quatre
interrupted him before he could finish.
ÒDuo, it's suicide. Listen to me. Heero may have gone to find out. You don't know he went out there to kill himself.Ó Quatre objected.
ÒThen why'd he leave the water?!Ó Duo demanded, ÒIf he had
gone to look for help, he would have taken the water for himself to keep
him alive. He
also would have taken my jacket that I offered him last night!Ó Quatre smiled and shook his head.
ÒBut don't you see, Duo? That's just like Heero to do those
things. He's generous and he's kind. And that's how I know
he didn't go out there to kill
himself.Ó Duo sighed. For the first time all morning,
he couldn't find the right words. He looked at Quatre, considering
what he said.
ÒBut still..Ó Said the icy voice of Shinigami, ÒSomething
could have gone wrong. I can almost feel it. I'm going after
him.Ó Quatre opened his mouth
to object. ÒAnd don't follow me if you plan on Trowa living through
this. He needs you to stay here. As soon as we get help we'll
get Trowa and Wufei
to doctors and we'll all go home. Now *stay* here.Ó The
order was given. And it was not to be objected. Duo got up,
not showing any difficulty and
began to head towards the door.
ÒDuo.Ó Quatre said. Duo turned around, prepared to argue with him again.
ÒTake the water.Ó Quatre held out the
thermos to Duo, ÒWe've got a half a thermos still in the fridge. That'll last us the rest of the day.Ó Duo
hesitated.
ÒWhat if we're not back by then?Ó
ÒThen you're going to need the water, aren't you?Ó Quatre
asked. Sighing, Duo walked over to him and grabbed the thermos, mumbling
something
about regretting it. Quatre ignored him, and lied back down,
closing his eyes. He lied there like that until he heard the front
door slam shut. Duo was
gone.
It had been an hour since Heero had regained his consciousness,
from time to time he would drift out of the state and fall back into slumber. He had
no energy, and would cough thickly, sometimes blood until the pure
whiteness of the snow. When the numbness in his body got worse, he
began to
doubt that he would live. By then, the morning sun had gone away,
leaving him in the cold again. It wasn't raining or snowing, it was
just freezing,
and there was an icy wind blowing about. The only thing Heero
could see when he opened his eyes was the blood stained snow in front of
him, and
his left hand that was resting there, swollen, blue, and stained with
his dark red blood. So he kept his eyes closed, even though he was
afraid that if
he did, he wouldn't wake up from his slumber.
-------------------
Back at the safe house, Trowa was stirring awake,
turning his weak body onto his back and looked around. Quatre was
sitting rather close,
shivering from the cold, thermos in his hands. He didn't seem
to know that Trowa was awake, so Trowa cleared his throat in preparation
of speech.
However, he didn't really need to speak. Just at that sound,
Quatre gasped and turned towards Trowa, eyes widening as he realized he
had finally
woken up. He wasn't as thrilled when he saw that Trowa's skin
had turned a light shade of purple, and the skin around his eyes was swollen.
"Trowa, hang in there. Duo..and Heero went
to get help." He hated lying to Trowa, but he didn't want him to
know that Heero could be in great
danger, even off to kill himself, although he objected to that conclusion. Trowa had a confused expression on his face as he scanned the rest of the
room, not seeing any sign of Duo or Heero. He did, however, see
Wufei, who was leaning against that same wall, teeth chattering, arms wrapped
tightly around himself. Trowa had forgotten the last time he
heard him speak, and automatically knew he wasn't the only one in danger
from the
cold.
Quatre sighed sadly at the concern in Trowa's eyes
for his comrades. He knew that if he knew the truth about Heero,
it would probably get him in
even worse condition, knowing that Trowa idolized Heero, and if Heero
decided to die then maybe Trowa would too. Quatre shook the horrible
thought
out of his head and tried to smile again. Strangely, it hurt
to smile now.
"Quatre.." Trowa choked, his voice course and
raspy. Quatre sparred him a questioning look, and Trowa looked away
from his big, aqua eyes. After
he moment he looked back up, a sad, childlike expression on his face. A child looking for comfort.
"Hold me?" He whispered. Quatre managed
a small smile and scooted forward until Trowa could rest his head on his
lap, that wrapped his arms
around the shivering boy's figure, holding him close, silently begging
him not to drift away.
-----------------
"Damnit, Heero." Duo cursed to himself as he took extra large steps through the snow. He had been searching for hours, and hadn't found any trace of Heero ever since he had left the cabin. It was cold, colder than he had imagined, even with the sun out. A strong man could definitely die of there, no question. Luckily, Duo had a the most energy out of all of them, and was sure if he didn't make it to Heero, he could at least make it to some trace of civilization. Of course, the former was much more important to him. He was afraid of what he might do if he lost Heero. Would he cry? It was hard to say. He hadn't cried in a long while.
It was another hour until he had to drink some of the water from the thermos. He regretted it, since he was planning to save the water for Heero. He was sure if he found him Heero would need the water more than him. However, he saved most of it for Heero, only taking a sip or two. It would be worth it if he was able to find Heero and have the energy to get them both to civilization.
Sitting down in the snow, exhausted, Duo put the lid back on the thermos, closing it tightly then strapping it back onto his pocket. His hands dug into the freezing snow, and he watched his breath come in little puffs of cold air. After a while, when he his hands started to get numb, Duo lifted himself out of the snow and continued walking. Looking around, he wondered if he was even heading in the right direction. He couldn't read his compose very well, and even though he knew they had come from the North, he wasn't sure if he was going to right way. That was something he usually left for Quatre to figure out. Thinking about Quatre, which led him to think about the other pilots, all depending on him, was his strength to go on.
He never thought he would find Heero. He was wrong.
Mere minutes after he had taken those few sips of the water, Duo thought he spotted a body in the snow. It was hard to tell because of his cloudy vision, and the will was fading to keep his eyes open. He decided it wasn't worth the risk to just leave whatever he saw alone, so he began to jog over to where he saw more colors than what was around him. As he came closer, he realized those colors were none other than green and black.
"Heero!" He screamed, as soon as the realization hit him. He scrambled up to the body, kicking snow all over himself but not caring. When he got to Heero he fell down to his knees, grasping Heero's tank top tightly, afraid that if he didn't he would disappear. At first he shook him lightly, seeing if that would wake him up, but he didn't. Panic spread through Duo like a bolt of lightning.
"Heero, please! Wake up!" He called to the unconscious figure below him. He shook harder, then he desperately shook him, screaming at him to wake up, frustration, anger and sadness building up inside of him all at once. Before he knew it all of those emotions exploded inside of him, and he felt moisture dampening his flushed cheeks. 'I have to save him.' He thought, ignoring the hot tears sliding down his face and dripping onto Heero's limp form.
Gathering up the boy in his arms, Duo stood up, swaying from side trying to support Heero's weight on his own, weak, trembling body. He didn't know if he could make it much further, but he certainly had to try, for Heero's sake. He didn't care he died trying. As Duo walked, his feet sank into the snow, and would often trip and fall, just to pick Heero up again and continue walking. His whole body was in a great deal of pain, and he could feel his insides freezing up, locking up inside his body. He watched as the skin on his hands turned a ghostly grey/blue color. None of that mattered. Only Heero mattered at that moment.
When he had almost lost all hope, his violet eyes caught glimpse of color other than white. He squinted his eyes, hoping his vision would clear up so he could see whatever it was. It was all just a big black blur, and then he saw more colors, bright oranges and reds, running towards him. Closer, and closer, and closer....and then everything was gone.
-----------------------
When Duo woke up, he was warm. That was the first thing that occurred to him. He was warmer than he had been in a long time. His eyes fluttered open to see what was going on, and he saw that his vision had improved greatly. Now things were just a little blurry, and he could at least observe his surroundings. He looked around him, noticing he had been placed in a small bed, with blue sheets, and there were tubes....tubes? He suddenly realized that he was in a hospital. How did he get there?
"W-where?" Was all h could mutter, eyes searching the room, for a sign of someone, someone who could explain the situation to him. Someone who could tell him where Heero was. He guessed that Heero had been taken to the hospital too, but why wasn't he here with him? There was an empty bed in the room. Why wasn't Heero in that bed? He felt that burning sensation in his again, and closed them, keeping the tears in. He had cried enough. Heero had to be OK.
Duo didn't have to wait long for a nurse to come into his room. When she did he struggled to sit up, but the nurse quickly rushed to his side and pinned him down to bed with her strong arms. Strong? Since when was a women stronger than him?
"Please lie still." She ordered, and Duo stared up at her blankly. A small frown finally crossed his features and he began to thrash.
"Where is Heero?! Let me go! I have to find Heero! Is he all right?!" Duo cried, letting the tears he had been holding in finally flee from his burning eyes, even thought he despised the face that he was crying in front of a woman.
"You mean the young man they brought you in with?" The nurse asked, still holding Duo's shoulders down to keep him from thrashing and hurting himself. Duo nodded, fiercely, over and over again, choking on his sobs. The nurse let go of him and he closed his eyes and cried.
"Where?" He sobbed. He opened his eyes and saw the look of sadness in the nurses eyes. He shook his head at her, his lower lip trembling.
"I'm sorry." She said quietly, after a while. That was all she had to say. Duo went from sobbing to full blown screaming, thrashing and crying like a child. He didn't care. He wanted to die. He wanted to die right there and then. He wanted to go insane. He wanted to burn in hell. Anything but listen to that nurse tell him that Heero was dead. The nurse did nothing to stop him, just calmly walked over to the little table next to Duo's bed and picked up a small piece of paper rested on Duo's folded clothes.
"We found this note in the collar of your shirt. After reading it we found out that there were others still at the safe house the two of you were apparently staying at. We've already sent doctors to go and find them." The nurse explained. She handed the note to Duo, who took it in one hand, the other wiping away evidence of his tears, even though the tears were still flowing. The nurse excited the room, giving Duo a moment of privacy to read the note.
Duo was sure the note was from Heero, and was afraid to read it. He was afraid to find what Heero's last words to him were. He was afraid because he never had the chance to tell Heero how he really felt about him, and now he would never know. He unfolded the note slowly, wishing he could write one back to Heero, where ever he was. Once it was opened, he read over the neat handwriting of his lost love.
"Duo,
I'm writing this to you because I knew you would be the only one that would understand. I have left, gone to find help or civilization. Once I find whichever I do, I will send them back for the four of you at the safe house. I want to tell you not to worry about me. However, I know you will. Duo, I cannot say that I will survive, but I simply had to do something. Knowing your life was in danger was tearing me apart. If you're reading this, and I am gone now, just know that I have always loved you, Duo. You mean so much to me, and the only thing I regret is not being able to know if you feel the same way.
All my love, love that will always survive
-Heero
AN- R&R is greatly appreciated