A.N. I didn't want to write out all of Gracie and MacDonald's argument so I skipped it and made the one scene into two.
Chapter Thirteen: That Damn Rule Book.
Grace and MacDonald are arguing and I just can't take her getting ripped into like this especially since some of her arguments are plausible. I think MacDonald is just letting his contempt for her cloud his judgment. I slowly walk up next to her and wait for a break in the conversation. When my opportunity comes I quietly say, "Would you just shut up."
"Why? Your shuttin' up enough for the both of us." White-hot rage is emitting off of Grace at my lack of support. Suddenly I question whether or not I'm angry for a good reason.
"Matthews." MacDonald barks breaking me away from my train of thought.
"Yes, sir." I answer like a good little agent.
"Is there any reason to suspect Morningside?" The question is meant to be a simple yes or no question. However it' loaded for me. Do I say no and keep my job but risk losing the one woman who has meant so much to me. Or do I say yes and risk losing my job but keep the one person who manages to always take my breathe away even when we're fighting or when she's all grungy.
I pull in a deep breath and decide to just let whatever comes out come out. "No, sir." Forgive me Grace for I have betrayed you.
"Sir, I request to stay behind with a small contingent of agents." Grace is just not giving up on this. I fear I may never see her again at work after today.
"Denied" As if MacDonald was going to say anything else.
"Then I request permission to stay behind alone." Why is she so sure about this? I know she doesn't like Kathy Morningside too much but this was overkill. But this was Grace and once she got an idea in her head she just didn't let go of it.
"You know what? I don't care what you do. You wanna stay, stay... but as a private citizen. Turn in your badge and your gun. Alright everybody I suggest you start packing." The anger in MacDonald's voice couldn't be more evident.
"What don't look at me like I betrayed you." Even though I did. I just can't stand to have those have expressive eyes trained on me like that. It hurts too much.
"No, betrayal implies an action, you just stood there." The cold, hard facts sting as she shoots the words like daggers at my heart.
"You got nothin' to go on." Yes she does, I tell myself. I know she does because I, myself, suspected Morningside at one point. I'm just trying to justify what I said earlier to myself and to her.
" No, you know I know everyone thinks I'm a screw up, alright. But for the first time in my life I feel like I'm in the right place at the right time. And I have to protect those girls. It. Is. My. Job." Grace accentuates each of the last words. I see that she feels strongly about his but like she said before I am the job and I HAVE to keep that job so I can feel like I'm in the right place at the right time.
"Fine. But part of doin' the job is followin' orders." I'm trying to get her to see the point from my side of the table, which is just useless.
"But the other part of that job is usin' ya brain Eric. Take the rule book and just throw it out the window." She's trying to get me to see things from her side of the table now. We are in a no one -wins argument. I have had plenty of these with her. The problem is we're stubborn people and we're just going to but heads on some things.
"I like the rule book, ok? I like knowing what I can and cannot do. Your not the only who lives his life for the job and I wanna keep mine for the next twenty to thirty years. Thank you very much. Jesus Heart, just give it a rest." It feels good to have finally said that out loud. I'm tired of catering to her needs. Yes this was a difficult op for her but my GOD it was for me too. It was my first in charge and she didn't do ANYTHING to help make it easier on me now did she? No I didn't think so.
Grace is quiet as if contemplating something. "Yeah, give it a rest." She half-whispers. She bends down removing her badge and gun. Slowly she hands them to me.
"Don't do it." I warn her but her mind is made up and there's nothing I can do to change it.
********************** (scene extension)***********************
I watch her put her hand on the door and feel an impulse to put all the cards on the table. "I know about McGuire."
Grace whips around and glares at me. If looks could kill ....... " How? How do you know about that?" She's surprised to say the least. There's that look that someone gives you when you expose one of their secrets, you know it. It was written all over her face.
"I heard you talkin' on your cell the first night we we're here. Something about him losing confidence in you and that you'd get the job done and that.......that you loved him." I hold my breathe waiting for her to throw something or scream but she does neither. She just stares at me. So I ask what has been plaguing me since I heard that conversation. " Do you, love him I mean?"
There is a pause that hangs in the air like the proverbial elephant. It's there but you try to ignore it. Finally she answers, "No. If you absolutely must know, I'm subletting him my apartment and moving to San Francisco. I don't belong at the D.C. office so I put in a transfer and it went through. I was suppose to sign the papers this weekend but obviously I can't. So I told him to fax them over and I would get the job done here, not lose confidence in me. I said I love you because he's under the impression he's doing me some huge favor by subletting my apartment and said I should thank him properly. By saying those three small words I could never say when we were dating."
My world tumbled out from underneath me. It was all innocent, I have been so stupid. "Grace I didn't know. I'm sorry, I was.... I was jealous." There I had finally said it. Now the ball was in her court, it was all up to her. My whole existence depended on what she said next.
"Fuck you Eric Matthews, Fuck you." She said then turned and left. I collapsed on the bed and cried for the first time in three years.
Chapter Thirteen: That Damn Rule Book.
Grace and MacDonald are arguing and I just can't take her getting ripped into like this especially since some of her arguments are plausible. I think MacDonald is just letting his contempt for her cloud his judgment. I slowly walk up next to her and wait for a break in the conversation. When my opportunity comes I quietly say, "Would you just shut up."
"Why? Your shuttin' up enough for the both of us." White-hot rage is emitting off of Grace at my lack of support. Suddenly I question whether or not I'm angry for a good reason.
"Matthews." MacDonald barks breaking me away from my train of thought.
"Yes, sir." I answer like a good little agent.
"Is there any reason to suspect Morningside?" The question is meant to be a simple yes or no question. However it' loaded for me. Do I say no and keep my job but risk losing the one woman who has meant so much to me. Or do I say yes and risk losing my job but keep the one person who manages to always take my breathe away even when we're fighting or when she's all grungy.
I pull in a deep breath and decide to just let whatever comes out come out. "No, sir." Forgive me Grace for I have betrayed you.
"Sir, I request to stay behind with a small contingent of agents." Grace is just not giving up on this. I fear I may never see her again at work after today.
"Denied" As if MacDonald was going to say anything else.
"Then I request permission to stay behind alone." Why is she so sure about this? I know she doesn't like Kathy Morningside too much but this was overkill. But this was Grace and once she got an idea in her head she just didn't let go of it.
"You know what? I don't care what you do. You wanna stay, stay... but as a private citizen. Turn in your badge and your gun. Alright everybody I suggest you start packing." The anger in MacDonald's voice couldn't be more evident.
"What don't look at me like I betrayed you." Even though I did. I just can't stand to have those have expressive eyes trained on me like that. It hurts too much.
"No, betrayal implies an action, you just stood there." The cold, hard facts sting as she shoots the words like daggers at my heart.
"You got nothin' to go on." Yes she does, I tell myself. I know she does because I, myself, suspected Morningside at one point. I'm just trying to justify what I said earlier to myself and to her.
" No, you know I know everyone thinks I'm a screw up, alright. But for the first time in my life I feel like I'm in the right place at the right time. And I have to protect those girls. It. Is. My. Job." Grace accentuates each of the last words. I see that she feels strongly about his but like she said before I am the job and I HAVE to keep that job so I can feel like I'm in the right place at the right time.
"Fine. But part of doin' the job is followin' orders." I'm trying to get her to see the point from my side of the table, which is just useless.
"But the other part of that job is usin' ya brain Eric. Take the rule book and just throw it out the window." She's trying to get me to see things from her side of the table now. We are in a no one -wins argument. I have had plenty of these with her. The problem is we're stubborn people and we're just going to but heads on some things.
"I like the rule book, ok? I like knowing what I can and cannot do. Your not the only who lives his life for the job and I wanna keep mine for the next twenty to thirty years. Thank you very much. Jesus Heart, just give it a rest." It feels good to have finally said that out loud. I'm tired of catering to her needs. Yes this was a difficult op for her but my GOD it was for me too. It was my first in charge and she didn't do ANYTHING to help make it easier on me now did she? No I didn't think so.
Grace is quiet as if contemplating something. "Yeah, give it a rest." She half-whispers. She bends down removing her badge and gun. Slowly she hands them to me.
"Don't do it." I warn her but her mind is made up and there's nothing I can do to change it.
********************** (scene extension)***********************
I watch her put her hand on the door and feel an impulse to put all the cards on the table. "I know about McGuire."
Grace whips around and glares at me. If looks could kill ....... " How? How do you know about that?" She's surprised to say the least. There's that look that someone gives you when you expose one of their secrets, you know it. It was written all over her face.
"I heard you talkin' on your cell the first night we we're here. Something about him losing confidence in you and that you'd get the job done and that.......that you loved him." I hold my breathe waiting for her to throw something or scream but she does neither. She just stares at me. So I ask what has been plaguing me since I heard that conversation. " Do you, love him I mean?"
There is a pause that hangs in the air like the proverbial elephant. It's there but you try to ignore it. Finally she answers, "No. If you absolutely must know, I'm subletting him my apartment and moving to San Francisco. I don't belong at the D.C. office so I put in a transfer and it went through. I was suppose to sign the papers this weekend but obviously I can't. So I told him to fax them over and I would get the job done here, not lose confidence in me. I said I love you because he's under the impression he's doing me some huge favor by subletting my apartment and said I should thank him properly. By saying those three small words I could never say when we were dating."
My world tumbled out from underneath me. It was all innocent, I have been so stupid. "Grace I didn't know. I'm sorry, I was.... I was jealous." There I had finally said it. Now the ball was in her court, it was all up to her. My whole existence depended on what she said next.
"Fuck you Eric Matthews, Fuck you." She said then turned and left. I collapsed on the bed and cried for the first time in three years.