Suppi's Clues! [CCS/Blue's Clues crossover] [humour] [parody]

A Fanfic by Janaki Jitchotvisut

DISCLAIMER: Eriol and Suppi-chan, of course, are property of CLAMP, Kodansha,
TV Tokyo, and (I'm sure) other assorted properties. I've only
been responsible for putting words in their mouths here. Blue's
Clues, Mr. Salt, Mrs. Pepper, Paprika, the Thinking Chair, the
Handy Dandy Notebook, the made-by-a-Mac background, the right to
Skidoo, and all the songs enclosed within this fic (even though
they're slightly altered) are all property of Traci Paige Johnson,
Nickelodeon, and anyone else who holds rights to Blue's Clues;
they are used herein for humourous parodical purposes ONLY. I am
a fan of both Cardcaptor Sakura and Blue's Clues, and could not
escape an evil bunny who kept tugging at my trouser leg one day
and muttering about how much certain Big Red Plushie Chairs looked
alike. Please don't sue me. ^^;;;

This fic, however, was written by one Janaki Jitchotvisut. She
appreciates all comments and criticism you care to give, and
probably won't mind if you want to archive this elsewhere AS LONG
AS YOU ASK HER FIRST. Her e-mail address is at the end of this fic.

SPOILERS: Not really, other than the timeline consideration listed below.

TIMELINE: Past where both the manga and the anime (including both movies) leave off.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I fully realise that this is somewhat OOC at points. Just so
you know. Hope you enjoy it, and I would advise you not to drink
anything carbonated or hot while reading this, based on what
preliminary readers of this fic have reported. (And if you do,
don't say I didn't warn you...and no, I won't buy you a new monitor
if you short yours out. ^.-)

that being said, here goes...
_____________________________________________________________________

ATTENTION NICK JR. VIEWERS:

Due to the sudden departure of Steven Burns from our beloved children's
series "Blue's Clues," we at Nick Jr. have been faced with a most
difficult decision: whether or not to continue the show without Steve.
Now, we know that Blue is, after all, the character in the name of the show.
However, since Steve is so integral, we decided it would be wrong to continue
on without him. We don't want to leave you without your daily dose of
clue-finding, however, so here's a sneak preview of a wonderful new series
coming to your TV this summer from the creative minds behind Blue's Clues!
Hope you like it!
_____________________________________________________________________

Scene: Black screen, then fades gradually up from black over the course of
a couple of seconds to reveal a lovingly made-by-a-Mac form of a yellow
crayon-drawn house with a red roof, a tree, green grass, a fence around
it, and a mailbox sitting out at the front. The door opens slowly and
noiselessly, and happy childlike music is heard streaming out of the
house and into the yard. Gradually, the tone becomes more minor and
the music lapses into creepy, bad synth-violin music. A small
black-haired boy wearing strange robes and glasses and an evil grin
appears in the middle of a Mac-crayon-designed living room scene.

Eriol: Oh, hello there! How are you? I haven't seen you in a long time. I
was just looking for my companion Suppi-chan...he's got to be around
here somewhere. Suppi? Suppi! Come out, come out wherever you are!
We've got guests!

*Suppi-chan pokes his head out from behind a big, overstuffed red plush chair
sitting in the middle of the living room, underneath and to the left of a framed
picture of a strange-looking hat hanging on the wall*

Eriol: Now *that's* a good Suppi-chan! Come out and say hello to our friends!

*Suppi-chan glares dispassionately at us, their "friends"*

Eriol: grinning Suppi-chan and I were just playing hide-and-seek. Do you want
to join us?

*Suppi-chan glares at Eriol, semi-imploringly and semi-distastefully*

Eriol: noticing Suppi-chan's glaring Suppi-chan, what's the matter? Don't you
want to play anymore?

Suppi-chan: As a matter of fact, I don't.

Eriol: sweatdrops Well, would you like to play something else? Our friends
have come all this way. It seems rude not to invite them in to play with
us...

Suppi-chan: You KNOW what I want to play. *glares some more*

Eriol: sweatdrops more heavily Oh, alright. I suppose we can play. to us
Suppi-chan wants to play Suppi's Clues! Do you want to help me play?

*At this, Suppi-chan grins in a slightly disquieting manner*

pause for audience acknowledgement

Eriol: You do? GOOD! I'm glad you want to help me. Could you do me a favour?
Hand me that bowl of candy over there. That's right, the one on the
end-table. takes bowl of candy from unseen hands that are located
off-camera but which are holding the bowl of candy in camera view

Eriol: unwrapping various pieces of candy Have you ever played Suppi's Clues
before? You have? Okay. Well, in case anyone watching at home doesn't
know how, the first thing we have to do before we can play is to feed
Suppi-chan. We can't just feed him *anything,* either...we have to feed him special treats. Otherwise, the game just isn't as fun. C'mere,
Suppi-chan! I've got a special surprise for you!

Suppi-chan: About time! dashes over to Eriol and vacuums the candy right out
of his outstretched hands in one motion

*Suppi-chan's cheeks turn red and he begins to fly around the room unsteadily,
grinning a lazy and slightly sickly-happy grin*

Suppi-chan: Alrighty Eriol, I'm ready to play. What (hic!) should I do
nooooowwww?

Eriol: looking a little uncomfortable Umm, I think you need to give us clues. Remember, this is *your* game.

Suppi-chan: looking dazedly euphoric Ahh (hic). I see! I know! Give me a
moment or two and...

______________________________________________________________________

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!
______________________________________________________________________

1 kHz tone is heard as those familiar coloured bars pop up on screen. A moment
later, we see the living room of Suppi-chan's house again and the camera teeters
unsteadily

Eriol: Sorry about that, folks. Suppi-chan is a little clumsy today. Speaking
of which...Suppi! Are you ready?

Suppi-chan: Mrrrroooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!! (HIC)

Eriol: He's ready! Hey, Suppi...you never told us *why* we're playing Suppi's
Clues! We usually have a reason. Either you're trying to tell us
something, or there's something else you want to do, or...

Suppi-chan: Nah, today it was just an excuse (hic!) to get some chocolate out of
you. Mmmmm...chocolate...! (hic) *gazes unsteadily into the camera
and licks his lips*

Eriol: looking increasingly more uncomfortable Well, you have to have
*something* in mind, don't you? Otherwise there's not much point in
playing.

Suppi-chan: Of COURSE I have something in (hic) mind! flies into the camera for
emphasis, nearly knocking it off the tripod You're supposed to
figure out what I want to cosplay as!

Eriol: goggles at Suppi-chan Cosplay?!?!?!? For *what*?!?

Suppi-chan: In general! I want to make costumes, and I want your help! I've
been reading up on it (hic...KOFFFFF) a lot lately and it seems like
a fun idea to me. notices us standing there watching them again
Hey, shouldn't we (hic) start? Our friends are waiting.

Eriol: Of course, of course. Anyway, everyone, the way we play Suppi's Clues is
that Suppi-chan has to give us 3 clues. Or rather, we have to *find* 3
clues that Suppi-chan has left for us. Once we've found them, we'll need
to use our Handy Dandy Notebook whips notebook out of the drawer in the
end table to write them down in! Finally, once we've found all three,
we'll need to sit down in our Thinking Chair to figure out what kind of
costumes Suppi-chan wants to make! Got it?

Small random children from offstage: But wait, how do we know if something's a clue?

Eriol: grinning Sorry about that! Suppi-chan will leave a pawprint on whatever
he decides should be our clue. Now...got it?

Small random children from offstage: Got it, Eriol!

Eriol: Good! Let's start. sings We are looking for Suppi's Clues...we are
looking for Suppi's Clues...we are looking for Suppi's Clues...I wonder
where they are...?

*Suppi-chan, grinning awkwardly, plops down into cushion face-first from the top
of the Thinking Chair*

Eriol: grins winningly at audience Hrrm, giving Suppi-chan all that candy
made me kind of hungry. Let's go into the kitchen and see what there is
to eat! dances off into the kitchen, humming

*camera follows, leaving Suppi-chan and the cushion behind*

*We find Eriol, standing in front of the fridge. On the counter are Mr. Salt,
Mrs. Pepper, and Baby Paprika.*

Eriol: Look! It's our friends Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper! And look, little
Paprika! Hello! waves frantically at the three seasonings

Mr. Salt: in thick French accent 'Allo! It's been a long time, Eriol!

Mrs. Pepper: also in thick French accent Yes! A very long time! Have you
been eating well?

Paprika: gurgles happily

Mr. Salt: You know, you can't get enough of those healthy snacks. May I recommend
a particularly prime piece of celery today?

Eriol: Sure! Do you know if there's any peanut butter around?

Mrs. Pepper: I think there might be. Let's go look!

Paprika: gurgles even more happily

*Eriol follows Mrs. Pepper as she hops along the top of the counter and over to a
cabinet at the far right side of the screen*

Mrs. Pepper: I think it's in here.

Eriol: Okay. opens the cabinet Yep, here it is. Thanks, Mrs. Pepper! You too,
Mr. Salt!

Mr. Salt & Mrs. Pepper: Not a problem! singing Healthy snacks, healthy
snacks...we love to eat your healthy snacks...

*Eriol opens the cabinet, reaches in and pulls out several items which are apparently
obstructing the peanut butter and places them on the counter*

Random Children Offstage: A clue! A clue!

Eriol: Glue?!??! Where?

Random Children Offstage: No, silly! A clue!

Eriol: glancing over the pile of stuff now sitting on the counter; sees pawprinted
item on second glance Oh...well would you look at that? You're so smart to
catch that! I wouldn't have even noticed. What does that look like to you?

Single Random Child Offstage: A ball!

*The small ball begins bouncing by itself on the counter.*

Eriol: It does, doesn't it? But what *kind* of ball is it?

Another Random Child Offstage: Rubber!

Eriol: Good job! You know what this means...it's time to take out our Handy Dandy
Notebook!

*Eriol whips out notebook from undisclosed location on his person and begins to draw
a small rubber ball*

Eriol: There! All finished!

Mailbox: Mail's here, mail's in...

Eriol: singing and dancing; quite eerie if you think about it Here's the
mail...it never fails...it makes me want to wag my tail! When it comes
I wanna wail...MAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLL! waves hands elaborately,
makes silly face, stops singing Oh look! It's a letter from our friends!

*Eriol opens up the letter and we see a video screen as he shows it to us. We see
Kate-chan, sitting at a table in a university library*

Kate-chan: Hi, Eriol! Hi Suppi! Where's Steve and Blue? Has Steve left already?
If you see him, tell him I'm mad at him. And from now on, I'm only
going to speak to him in a mixture of Spanish, French, and
Japanese...so he'd better hope he knows all three. Hrrmph!

*Screen of vidletter goes black instantly.*

Eriol: looking uncomfortable Umm...so yeah, anyway...starts to sing nervously
We gotta find another pawprint, that's the second clue! And put it in our
notebook 'cause they're who's clues? Suppi's clues!...begins to hum to
self, dancing out of frame and back into the living room

Paprika: gurgles even more happily as Suppi-chan leers around the corner into
the kitchen and then trips, falling on his face

Eriol: Suppi-chan!

*Suppi-chan flies quaveringly into the picture with the weird hat in it on the wall
in the living room*

Eriol: glancing annoyingly and omnisciently at the audience You know what that
means, kids. singing and dancing Suppi skidooed! We can, too!

*Eriol bounds into the picture on the wall with a strange and cartoonish sound effect*

*The room Eriol has just followed Suppi into in the world of the picture is the
inside of a small, one-room clay hut with a thatched grass-and-twig roof. On the
single small, battered wooden table that sits in the centre of the room is the
strange hat seen from Eriol and Suppi's house. There is a small fire pit off
behind the table, and a cast iron pot of water is boiling and burbling rapidly
over the fire. No one is in sight aside from Eriol.*

Eriol: Ooh, look at that hat! It would look perfect with that new cape Ruby Moon gave
me for my birthday! I need one of these!

*Eriol picks up the hat and tries it on, lavishly dancing around while mysterious
maracas play in the background*

Eriol: Now if only I had a mirror...snaps fingers and creates one out of the ether
There! I knew that trick would come in handy someday! giggles Oooh, not half
bad! I have to show Suppi and see what he thinks!

*Eriol turns around, finds the door, and walks out into the street outside.*

Eriol: Suppi-chan! Where are you, Suppi-chan!

*A long, loud belch is heard coming from what looks like a public food-serving
establishment across the street.*

Eriol: sweatdropping Hrrm. Better see if that's Suppi.

*Eriol crosses the street and nearly gets plowed down by an old-style Volkswagen Beetle
speeding down the dusty road; walks through the door of the place across the street and
then spots Suppi-chan nearly passed out next to a glass of chocolate milk at the bar.
Also next to Suppi-chan is an untouched plate of food.*

Eriol: Suppi-chan? Are you okay?

Suppi-chan: Mmmm...yaki...yaki...mumblemumblemumble yaki...a small drool streamer
trails out of Suppi-chan's mouth and onto the table

*Eriol sweatdrops; camera pulls out just slightly*

Random children offstage: A clue! A clue!

Eriol: What, you see Blue? Where?

Single Random Child: No. A clue. Don't you listen to us?

Eriol: sweatdrops again Oh. A clue. Wow, you guys are really on a roll today,
aren't you? I wish I had a clue.

Other Random Child: Over *there,* on that plate!

*Eriol looks down at the plate next to Suppi-chan*

Eriol: Oh...that *is* a clue! It looks like a taco to me!

Suppi-chan: slurred, stuporous thashhh becaaaaaazzzzzzzz it IS a taaaakkkkkkooo! (hic!)

Eriol: gazing imploringly and as innocently as possible into the camera What do you
think? Is this a taco?

slight pause for audience acknowledgment

Random chorus of children offstage: I think it looks like a taco, Eriol!

Eriol: Alright then! Let me draw it! whips out notebook First a half-circle upside
down, then a line here, then some lettuce-looking stuff coming out here...there!
holds up notebook triumphantly

*Suppi-chan looks up groggily*

Suppi-chan: Yay. You're very close...(BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP!)

Bartender: Hey you! You gonna order or what?

Eriol: I'm sorry, did you mean me?

Bartender: Well, obviously your friend's had enough to drink. Of *course* I mean you!

Eriol: Um, no, that's okay. We were just leaving. Come on, Suppi! We should get back!
pokes Suppi-chan

Suppi-chan: Urrrggggh...do we have to? I want to sleep. (hic)

Eriol: grinning tightly Come on! I want to finish playing! Don't you want us to figure
out what you want to cosplay as?

Suppi-chan: I su(HIC)ppose...

Bartender: That will be 4 Suppi Dollars. Pay up or your friend isn't going anywhere.

*Eriol pulls 4 Suppi Dollars out of his pocket and plunks them down on the counter*

Eriol: There. Good?

Bartender: half mumbling, half growling under his breath Lousy cheap bastard, not leaving
a tip...why I oughtta...

Eriol: rushing Suppi out of the bar and across the street Let's go...

*They make it safely across the street and back into the house, where the pot is still
boiling away. They jump back into the picture simultaneously, and the hat flies off of
Eriol's head and lands neatly back on the table where it was when we saw it for the first
time.*

Eriol: Whew. That was close. Suppi-chan, you should be more careful!

Suppi: groaning I know, I know...I've got such a huge headache...

Eriol: No, that's not what I meant...oh, nevermind. I want to find that next clllllllllllll~~~~~WHOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

*Eriol slips on something and falls flat on his face.*

Eriol: Suppi-chan! I thought I told you not to leave your toys lying around like this!
See what happens?

*Suppi makes a face.*

Random noisy child offstage: A CLUE! A CLUE! LOOK! A CLUE!

Eriol: rubbing his forehead Oh. Yeah. Clues. Where?

Same child: Right there! Next to your foot!

*Eriol sits up, turns around, and looks at the carpet by his feet.*

Eriol: Oh, you mean this? holds up a squeaky octopus toy

Same child again: Um, yeah? It has a pawprint on it, right? So it's a clue!

Eriol: Ahh. Yes, I guess it is. Good thing, too...you were really smart to catch it.
I was starting to get sick of playing today, so thank you! You've really been
a big help. whips out notebook and draws a small octopus with big eyes

pause as Eriol finishes sketching the octopus

Eriol: You know what *that* means, don't you? It's time to go to our...THINKING CHAIR!!!

*happy Thinking Chair music starts as Eriol picks himself up off the carpet and then
drags himself over to the Thinking Chair a few feet away...the music then segues back
into the quasi-creepy synth-violin music from earlier*

Eriol: Hah. Now we need to devise a plan. No...that's wrong...we need to figure out
Suppi-chan's plan. Suppi-chan, let me know if I'm right or wrong. gazes
imploringly into the camera You too, let me know what you think. Okay?

Random children offstage: hesitantly, scared by the music Ummm...okay Eriol...^^;;;

Eriol: Now, if you'll recall, our first clue was a rubber bouncing ball. Our second
clue was a taco. And our third clue was a squeaky toy octopus. What could
Suppi want to cosplay as that involves these three things?

Random child offstage: I don't know!

Eriol: grinning mischeivously Of course! It's all so obvious now! Suppi-chan, you
sneaky little kitten!

Suppi-chan: O.o;;;

Eriol: You want to become takoyaki! That's the only obvious choice! What else would
involve those three things? Personally, I think you just threw in that taco to
be mean.

Suppi-chan: grinning from ear to ear, still with a faint blush across his cheeks and a
sickly pallor to his face You got me. If I can't eat the thing I love most,
I want to become the thing I love most. I want to make other people as happy
as takoyaki makes me. I want to...

Random children offstage: crying Eriol, Suppi's scaring us...

*Eriol interjects in the middle of Suppi's rant*

Eriol: Well, kids, you've done a great job today. Thanks for all your help, I couldn't
have done it without you. Well, actually, I probably could have, but not as
easily. So you know what time it is, don't you? music starts in background;
Eriol begins singing along Now it's time for so long...but we'll sing just one
more song! Thanks for doing your part...you sure are smart! You know, with me
and you...and my strange companion Suppi-chan...we can do ANYTHING that we wanna
do! Bye-bye!

*During this whole speech/song, Suppi-chan is still ranting in the background, oblivious
to the fact that no one is listening to him. Eriol glances at him uneasily every once in
awhile.*

*Camera pulls out of the house and credits begin to roll*
_____________________________________________________________________

comments, questions, suggestions, etc. are very much welcome. ^^ send them to:
toriniku@hotmail.com

jyaaa! ^.-