Yes. I know the tone is somewhat bleak and sparse.
That's the point. I'm not a huge fan of the Billy/Bart couple but it's
a good plot ploy so sue me. Yep, I know there isn't a village in Aquvy.
I didn't want to call the Captain of the Thames, 'Captain of the Thames'
so I'm making his surname Thames. Yes, I'm also aware there is no 'Long
Island' in the Xenogears World. In my defense I have to say two words.
Writer's Credit. Bwa-ha. I'm a God.
Warnings: suicide theme, mention of shounen-ai,
drugs, and cussing. If your mind goes nuts I'll just figure you've been
teetering on the edge for a while. All themes (expect suicide and the cussing)
are just lightly addressed in the story. Expect cussing. Lots of cussing.
i have as much rage as you have
i have as much pain as you do
i've lived as much hell as you
have
and i've kept mine bubbling
under for you
|~*~|
Billy Lee Black wasn't having a
good day.
It had started out with dealing
with his new lover's sordid temper that she had gained due to their bingeing
on Long Island Iced Tea the night before. When they woke up that morning
both had woken up wishing they didn't yet the somnolent Billy managed to
pull himself up from the bed with a pounding headache and gave out a groan.
He heard a hiss and low growl from Angela who muttered, "Keep the fuck
down." Never mind he was suffering with a terrible hangover- all had to
be quiet for Angela, an impossible miracle made by God's grace.
He pulled on a pair of black canvas
pants and as he struggled to get ready for today's events in the bathroom
Billy scrounged around in his mind trying to remember where things started
to go wrong for him. He never dealt with anything like this with Bart.
Of course he and the young king never drank together nor did they spend
much time in Aquvy. Until their break up only 11 months ago and upon coming
home Billy found out that Jessiah had opened the Orphanage again and gotten
sober just in time to see his son take the first steps into alcoholism.
As the young man washed his face
and left the bathroom he slowly trotted past the kids' bedroom and glanced
at the door. Opening it he peeked inside to see most of the beds vacated
for the playground's swings and those children who were left were in deep
sleep or reading. Billy faintly smiled as one little girl looked up to
him with a brilliant smile of her own and softly closed the door. The kids
were smart enough to take their play outside and somehow he managed to
get a sermon ready to deliver at the local village.
Billy wasn't sure why he still ministered,
all the words he spoke were empty, yet he did it just the same. Was it
out of habit or was it because he was in Aquvy? Perhaps apart of him didn't
want to admit that ministering was one of the few things that kept him
from realizing that he didn't want his life to mean anything anymore. Passion
of living and protecting others was slowly burning itself out into embers.
The only two joys he had in his
life were the kids who quickly became attached to the gentle if somewhat
cynical young man who became affectionate and always reliable to them.
The second reason was for Primera who was growing into a beautiful soul
and young woman who still needed her brother's watchful gaze and guidance.
Angela wasn't exactly a joy in his life yet; she merely joined the ranks
of reasons to live. Not that she was a bad person; she was certainly pretty
with flaxen hair and light blue eyes and had a bubbly personality. Jessie
didn't like her.
He had his reasons that mostly reflected
that the bimbo (Angela) was a cheap female copy of his son's ex-boyfriend.
When Jessie commented these reflections to his son a few months before
Billy just gave him a sour look and grumbled that he should have been damned
glad his son was fucking a girl. Jessie still didn't like her but now he
kept those reasons to himself. And he jumped at chances to get his son
away from that drug-headed girlfriend of his. That was why he talked Billy
into visiting a local young woman who was suffering from a bout of depression.
He cheerfully saddled the job to his son just a half-hour before Billy
went to his sermon. Billy thanked God that he wouldn't have to see the
girl until tomorrow.
Then it rained.
Not hard enough to keep him from
the where he had to go but hard enough to soak him to the bone and make
him 20 minutes late to deliver a less than passionate speech to a less
than beautiful crowd. All in all it took the young minister about 10 minutes
tops to read his passage.
After he was done and most of the
people had left a voice had addressed him from some distance away. Billy
was in the village's town hall on the raised platform sitting on a stool
taking out an old flask with the only known cure for a hangover, whiskey.
Go away. Billy willed. I have a headache. Just go away. He
opened the flask's cap. Of course, his prayer fell upon deaf ears.
"Well isn't Father Black?" A cheerful
gruff voice said behind him. Warily the young man turned around to see
the face that matched the voice perfectly. He was greeted with the vision
a gruff old demi-human walrus wearing a dated admiral's that still held
the brilliance of a brand new Gebler Squad uniform. "As charming as ever
I see. 'Tis a good thing me lad. It helps out an old soul that some things
don't change." Captain Thames chuckled as he took a puff on the pipe in
is mouth.
A slight smile crossed the minister's
mouth or at the very least the corners of his mouth turned upward. "It's
Minister Black -if anything."
"Minister Black then." Thames took
out his pipe to pat down the tobacco, the rarer fine Aveh style; not that
'regular' tobacco was cheap lately. "Well, I never thought I'd be on land
so soon after launching the Queens- you've heard about her, right? My new
vessel?"
Billy nodded.
"Good!" Thames laughed, patting
the young man's back. "Gotten taller I see too. I've must of dragged you
away from some young thing whose company you're enjoying."
"She's not too lovely today."
"She!? Well now, that's must warm
your father's heart!" The world had pretty much known about his relationship
with Bart.
"I think he preferred me gay." Billy
muttered bitterly. "He doesn't like her very much."
The captain nodded looking just
a bit ashamed. "I see, I suppose we should get to business then. I'm sure
Mr. Black told you about our young lady, didn't he?"
"What girl?"
"Your father hasn't told you about
the depressed girl on the Queen's?"
"He said it was a local girl. Didn't
tell me where exactly."
Thames looked saddened. "Oh, so
you didn't come here to help the Wee One?"
"Dad was going to tell me where
she was at tomorrow. I came by for a sermon." He could sense it was going
to be a while before he could get changed into dry clothes or crawl into
a dark room and sleep the hangover off.
"Well, I know you were supposed
to drop by tomorrow but I'm afraid the situation with the Wee One has gotten
a bit worst." The walrus grimaced.
"I suppose you mean a lot worst?"
He suggested, brushing away some of the locks of silver away from his face
and eyes.
"You could be right." Came the sheepish
reply. "It hurts to see anyone suffering with depression but the Wee One
has worked herself into the crew's hearts and I know mine wouldn't be the
only one that breaks if she does something foolish-."
"Wee One? Is she a child?"
"Ah, our name for her due to she's
no bigger than a child. While she's not a child she isn't quite an adult
yet. I would never ask you to come today if we weren't worried about her
life."
"How old is she?"
"Seventeen.."
"Teenaged angst." Billy sighed.
" All right, I'll go. I have nothing better to do." He lied.
|~*~|
The Queens was based on the old
plan of it's sunken predecessor so the only difference was the ship's steel
was still a sleek silver compared to the rust covered ship that sailed
these same seas about 4 years ago before Deus' Angels had shredded the
hull. The miracle was that of the sixteen hundred people on the ship nearly
fifteen hundred and forty five people survived. All the survivors were
willing to work to make a new ship and start again to be once more cradled
in the arms of their beloved mother, the sea. "Or it could have been for
the beer hall." Thames laughed heartily as he and Billy stepped into the
bridge of the ship.
"Could be." Billy murmured looking
around quietly before eyebrows rose in surprise at the large mass of people
wandering on the bridge of the Queens. "Nor did I think you'd have so many
crew hands." He watched a drunken sailor pass by as the young minister
fought a brief inner struggle over shame and envy of the man's situation.
The demi-human frowned darkly yet
didn't answer directly to Billy's question. "HANS!" He bellowed as the
cynical second mate lumbered up from his position near the navigation board.
Like Thames, Hans was a demi-human but that's where the similarities stopped.
Hans was a dolphin-demi-human with a bit more common sense than his captain
but did not have as much compassion as Thames. Hans was loyal and a good
match against the amiable sea captain's ways. The second hand mate looked
at the captain with a faint look of amusement or the best dolphin could
look amused in Billy's eyes. "She flipped Captain."
"Who? The Wee One?"
"She hasn't killed anyone but she
has a gun and chased everyone out." Hans said grimily before seeing Billy
and nodded in acknowledgement. "So Black here is going to be helping us
clam her down?"
"Aye, that he is."
For a moment the second mate gave
Billy a hard look then turned his attetion to Thames. "Capt'n?" Hans asked
with his tone low and emotionless.
Thames scowled at his first mate
being a bit ruffled about being disturbed to hear Hans' utter nonsense.
"Yes, yes, what it is it, man? I'm rather busy about contemplating about
the situation here-"
In the same low montone voice that
gained an edge of irritability rising with each syllable Hans asked, "Have
you told him who the 'Wee One' is Captain?" Billy could imagine the dolphin
raising an an eyebrow if he had one.
"There's a very good reason why
I didn't tell him Hans!" The walrus' voice was sharper than usual. Normally
he was a carefree man but in dire situations the stern commanding side
of him that had kept the old captian at sea for nearly 50 years would be
made clear. "Make yourself useful and leave it to me. You have at
the least 2 dozen people to argue and scold with." Hans winced as Thames
turned his back to adress Billy once again.
"What's the good reason?" Billy
asked quietly, his arms crossing his chest as he looked at the captain
with narrow aqua eyes and stern scowl on his face.
The walrus coughed giving a side
long glance at the door to the new Beer Hall. "Well, you already know her."
"I do?" Billy questioned quietly,
going through the women he had known during the past few years. "Who is
she..." The identify of the girl dawned on him.
"Maria Balathsar, remember her?
Petite little girl?" Thames glanced at Billy who nodded grimly.
"Yeah, I remember her. I haven't
heard a thing about her in four years."
Thames nodded ushering the young
man toward the door to the Beer Hall. "She came to the Thames about a year
ago and never has been any trouble. I didn't tell you who it was because
we didn't want you to worry about her too much. Of course we didn't know
she was going to take a gun. It's a shock really. Maria's a smart little
thing, very quiet and willing to work hard but distant. We didn't think
she was depressed about a week ago..."
Smart... yes but my impression
of her was that she was nuttier than a fruitcake. What did she want to
be for Solaris? Oh yes... Wings of Death... Quiet...? True, she never talked
to anyone much before her father was killed but she was rude. Hard worker,
yes, distant... I never did see her talk to anyone expect Chu-Chu.
"So what did she do?" The young minister queried.
"... She slashed her wrists last
week."
"I see."
The captain sighed. "I know... this
might not work but. Please, help her."
Billy bowed his head in grim nod
feeling the blood vessels start to pound against his temple. This day was
getting worst by the minute.
|~*~|
She stood by the window that looked
out to the gray sky and dark green-black sea. Billy never loved the sea
or Aquvy like his father or Prim and stormy days that turned beautiful
colors of blue into dark shades of depression gave him justification to
hate the ocean and his home.
Maria hardly grown from the small
figure he remembered four years ago. She barely reached the height of five
feet now and might of weighed over ninety pounds with slight curves of
adulthood. Her long cruly ashen hair hung in a twisted braid that reminded
Billy of him... The young man hissed at the memory altering
the young girl to his presence. She turned around slowly as her haunted
green eyes settled on him.
"Billy Lee Black... what are you
doing here?" Her voice was heavy despite it's airy quality. He couldn't
call the voice dead but rather very tried. In her right hand she carried
a small gun.
The young girl trembled as he stepped
closer to her and took a step back with the slim gun pointed at her right
temple. "Maria..." He whispered in a voice delicate as a butterfly's as
the tanned hand reached out to take the slim metal weapon away from her
tiny grasp. The gun froze as she looked at the cold and dead aqua colored
eyes with her own green eyes that shimmered with unfallen tears. "What
are you trying to do?" Billy demanded in a whisper.
"Kill myself." She answered softly.
"Don't think you're the only one
who is alone right now, I've been through it too." The young man urged
softly as his fingers grasped the delicate bone of her wrist.
"No," The voice as soft as a feather
had the tone of lead answered back. "You're a lair, Black."
"Maria, I know where you're coming
from." Billy now firmly took her wrist and almost made her drop the gun.
A whimper escaped Maria's throat as she struggled to keep the gun's aim
true.
"Black," She begged, "Don't make
me get blood all over you. You will never understand."
"Try me." Billy dared, glowering
at her. His headache was raging now.
"Who are you fucking?" She asked
sharply, feeling his grip grow tighter around her wrist. The gun shook
again. A blush of anger crossed his face as a self-satisfied smile crossed
the young girl's face.
"How does that matter?" Billy asked
sharply then paused. "Why does it matter?" He asked again in a gentle butterfly
tone again.
She scowled as if she hated that
tone of voice. "Someone wants you." Maria's voice was weak now. "Do you
speak to your father?"
"Yes..." His tone was regrettable.
"I can't."
"Maria..."
"Do you have friends that -"
"They're YOUR friends too."
"Do you get birthday cards from
them?"
"You're killing yourself because
you don't get fucking birthday cards?" He asked, his eyes widened at the
absurdity of it.
"Answer me."
"Yes. Why?"
"They remember you."
"Christ Maria, if that's all you
wanted-"
"No!" She shirked. "Don't you get
it? No one bothered to ask me!"
"You wouldn't get close to us!"
"They got close to you!" A sob,
her grip became weak and the gun fell to the floor. "You didn't want to!
I know! I asked! I was a 13 year old who found out her father's brain was
put into a gear that I HAD TO FUCKING DESTORY!" He caressed the
wrist that was still holding it's position near her temple and guided it
down to her sides as tears flowed down her checks. "The one person who
cared about me, I had to kill. It's all because of Solaris who will never
answer that crime."
"What about Zephyr? Your grandfather?"
"Zephyr was too disillusioned with
the loss of Shevat. Grandpa... he was too distant to me." Haunted green
eyes looked up to him. "My only companion I had was Seibzehn, a gear. A
goddamned gear!" She tried to pull away yet to Billy's surprise he found
himself holding both her wrists and winced at the sudden jolt of pain rushing
in his head. "And now he's gone..."
"Do you still want to compare our
lives Black!?" Maria raged, still struggling to pull away. "Let's see...
you have an utterly adoring sister-"
"Who said my father's name, not
mine." He prompted genteelly.
"You have a sister, someone to cry
with when things went wrong." Maria hissed. "Are you a virgin Black?"
"No... Maria, sex isn't love it's-"
Another pulse of pain rushed in his brain as he blinked, wouldn't his father
said something like this to him?
"Are you sleeping with Fatima still?"
"Maria..." Billy's voice cracked.
"Does he love you..." Her voice
trembled.
His voice was weak. "He did... we're
not lovers anymore but-" The headache was tearing at him now and he was
starting to feel sick.
"Someone loved you..." She murmured.
"Did you- Do you love him?"
"Yes..." He answered with his voice
shaking. "Maria, don't bring this up. Please..."
"You had your loved returned for
even if it wasn't forever." Haunted eyes looked up to the aqua gaze. "Are
you alone now?"
"No, little one." He whispered,
his lips dry. "But I don't know if it's love. It's not like the one I lost."
"I never had it at all." Tears rolled
down her checks slowly.
He was silent yet the headache raged
on.
That was 5 hours ago.
Billy opened the door at his family's
house as he and the young woman stepped into the house escaping the still
raining skies. Jessie looked up form his book and raised an eyebrow. "We
have a visitor?"
The young man nodded as he ushered
the slip of flesh and bones into the warm confines of the cozy cabin. "Yeah
for a little while." Billy left Maria and his father to return to a warm
bed, a sleeping lover, and a shot of whiskey.
More coming soon.
Authors Babble: (revised)
My ego and my plot has been boosted
by the comments so yes, you can expect longer story. Yes, we will have
a conferination between Billy and Bart. Yes, we will see Maria and Billy
fight more. Yes, we will find out who Angela is. Yes, you will see
more characters. Yes, they will not be Mary Sue's (I hope).Yes, you will
find out the reason why BxB broke up. Yes, you will see all of the Fatima
family. No, it will have NOTHING to do with making the plot to Xenogears
make any sense. No, it will not all happen in one chapter.
Keep commenting.
Please...?
-Janis
