Imaginary Max
Disclaimer: Mr. Help The Boat Is Sinking and his little buddy own Dark Angel. I own nothing...it's sad but true.
This is after the finale, but it doesn't seem like it. The only thing I really used from the finale is that Max is gone...and Logan has some "Max issues" that haven't been explored, I can promise that. Well...maybe the first few lines of the beginning, but very few. Just see for yourself.
Logan looked at the gun in his hand and just thought, 'Why not? Nothing left to lose.' He put the gun up to his temple, but a voice behind him made him stop.
"Lucy, I'm home." The voice chimed.
Logan couldn't believe it. Max was standing in the doorway of his computer room.
"Max? What're you? How did you? Max?" Logan asked, bewildered. "Max? Wh-what are you doing here?"
"I stopped by for some waffles." Max said sarcastically. "It's obvious you need help, so here I am!"
"But you're...dead...aren't you?" Logan asked. He thought that he was going crazy.
"See, you don't know that, so I don't know that." Max answered and sat on the corner of his desk.
"What?" Logan asked, even more confused.
"I came from your subconscious. I only know about me what you know about me." Max explained.
"I've gone nuts." Logan muttered and put the gun back in the drawer.
"No, you haven't. Just think of me like a-a-a..er...an imaginary friend! Think of me as an imaginary friend." Max said.
"I'm actually living out Drop Dead Fred." Logan muttered.
"Hey, I know what that is! It's a movie about that imaginary friend who lasted a little too long!" Max exclaimed. "But I only know it because you know it."
"This is all too much." Logan sighed.
"Well, it isn't my fault you're a big, dumb jack-" Max was interrupted when Bling came in the room.
"Logan, I'm going to go now. Need anything?" Bling asked.
Logan looked quickly at Max, who was giving him a look, and then looked Bling, then back to Max. Bling looked where Logan was staring, but saw nothing.
"Uh...no, Bling. I don't need anything." Logan said, tearing his gaze from Max. "Anything odd about the room Bling?"
"He can't see me." Max sighed.
"Just you man." Bling answered and left.
"So, I'm so troubled that I need an imaginary Max? Oh man...I'm screwed up." Logan said and started his computer.
"Now that I'm here, you can't ignore me." Max told him as he started to type away at the computer.
"Mmmmmhmmm. Just go make a sandwich or something to keep you busy." Logan mumbled.
"I can't eat, I'm not real." Max told him. "And this isn't a joke. You can't ignore me! Hey!"
Logan sighed, shut off his computer again, and left the room.
"Hey! You can't walk away from me!" Max called and followed him.
Logan picked up his jacket and opened the door.
"I'm ignoring you. If I do, you'll just go away and I can convince myself that I'm sane." Logan told her and left the apartment. Max followed him.
"I already told you, you can't ignore me!" Max said and climbed into the Aztec with Logan.
"Get out of my car." Logan said and put the keys in the ignition. "I'm pretending you don't exist. I mean, it's not like you're the real...you."
"I am the real me...the imaginary me, but still." Max said.
"No, no, no. I'm just going crazy. You're...dead." Logan said and pulled onto the road.
"Ah, but you don't believe that." Max said. "I know because...I COME FROM YOUR HEAD!"
"No! I can't believe that! If I believe that..." Logan's voice trailed.
"What? If you believe that I could be real, what? You could be happy for like five seconds? Sorry, but it's your own fault. Your screwed up brain made me come out. I'll just sit here silently until you believe me." Max said and turned to look out the window.
'I'm just going crazy. That's the only rational thing I can think of. I mean, there's no way that my subconscious created an imaginary friend Max. It just seems to weird. I'm normal damnit! Okay, but if I'm normal, why is she still sitting next to me in this car? Get a hold of yourself Logan! I can't let myself be pulled into this...this crazy little world.' Logan thought. He let out a breath at a stop sign. 'Okay, just close my eyes and when I open them, she'll be gone.'
Logan closed his eyes, then opened just one and peeked toward the passenger seat. She was still sitting there, looking out the window.
Logan let out a groan and rested his head on the steering wheel. A car honking its horn behind him made him go again.
"You've sure changed your driving style since last time I saw you. Stopped a little too long back there." Max said.
"I thought you were being silent? And you've never seen me before! You're not real!" Logan said as he parked.
"Would you please just accept it? I'm here...you've obviously got issues and you obviously need me to help you with them!" Max yelled as Logan walked into South Market.
"I'm ignoring you." Logan mumbled as he examined some lettuce.
"You can't ignore me! I'm here. I will be until you get over whatever it is that...wait...coming from your mind does have some advantages." Max said.
Logan just ignored her and went over to some tomatoes.
"You believe I'm alive!" Max exclaimed, but Logan ignored her still and moved on to some chickens. "Oh! But this is interesting...you're grieving even though you truly believe I'm alive."
"Just get out of my head!" Logan exclaimed to Max. The woman at the chicken stand looked at Logan like he was crazy. "And scene." Logan took a bow and walked away quickly.
"I don't know what you think you can accomplish by believing that I'm not real. I'm real. Stop ignoring me. There's an old Pre-Pulse song...what is it? Um...oh God, think! I'm using your thoughts here. A little help would be appreciated." Max said as she followed Logan to an orange stand.
"Just leave me alone." Logan hissed under his breath. He didn't need anyone else thinking that he was nuts.
"I know! It's a song by Jennifer Lopez! How did it go? Um...oh there it is!" Max started to dance to music that only she could hear, but the song started playing in the back of Logan's head. Max began to sing, "I'm real. What you get is what you see. What your tryin' to do to me. You wanna say your mine...be with me all the time. Hey!"
Max caught up to Logan, he had walked away to a lemon stand. Max practically jumped next to him.
"Hey, you left me behind there talking about Jennifer all by myself." Max suddenly smiled. "I see you had a crush on her. Oh, oh...and Jennifer Aniston...and Jennifer Love Hewitt, am I sensing a pattern? Oh, and Jessica Simpson...and Jessica Al-"
"Shut up!" Logan hissed. "Just go away and stay out of my head!"
Max gave a very frustrated sigh.
"I'm a part of your mind! I can't leave until you've settled whatever issue you have!"
"Thanks, but I can do it on my own." Logan muttered and left to look at some melons.
"No, you can't." Max said. "Your mind created me for a reason. If you'd just acknowledge me-"
"I will not acknowledge someone who isn't real!" Logan yelled. Now the melon man also thought Logan was a loon. He gave a small smile and walked away quickly.
"I'm becoming very impatient with you." Max said, frustrated. "Don't think that I won't kick your-"
Max was interrupted by Logan loudly, and fakely, coughing. Max began to breathe in and out, over and over. She followed Logan back to the car.
"That was the most unproductive shopping trip I've ever been on." Logan mumbled as he got into the car.
"I thought you weren't talking to me." Max said as she climbed into the passenger seat.
"I just can't believe it went so...unproductively." Logan said, ignoring her.
"Oh I see," Max said. "You're pretending to talk to yourself and ignore me. That's so fifth grade of you."
They rode back to Logan's penthouse in silence. When they got through the door, Max stormed past Logan and sat on the couch, with her legs and arms crossed. She had an angry expression on her face and her foot was tapping in the air wildly.
"Mad?" Logan asked entering the living room.
"Yes, I am." Max said, not even looking at him. "You ignore me. You say I'm not real. I know everything in that little head of yours. You do believe I am real, I can see it in there. I'm very upset that you are acting like you don't."
"I'm sorry, but suddenly I'm seeing someone that no one else can see. That is never a good sign." Logan said.
"I'm not stupid. I know all of that, but come on. If you just say that you acknowledge me and that I exist, then I can help you." Max said.
Before Logan could say anything, Bling walked into the living room. Max gave Logan a look and he turned toward Bling.
"I found some people that you might want to talk to." Bling said.
Bling left and Syl and Krit entered the room, both with somber expressions. Original Cindy walked in behind them.
"Oooh! I know who they!" Max said and shot up from the couch.
"Hey." Logan greeted. All three of his guests mumbled 'heys' back. "Kitchen?"
"Food?" Krit asked, his mood picking up.
"Yes, there is food in my kitchen." Logan said. Krit was off almost immediately. They were all relieved that the mood had lightened.
"So," Krit asked, with a mouthful of a ham sandwich, "What's new?"
"Trying to explain things." Original Cindy mumbled.
A small 'hmmmmm' from Syl was given in agreement.
"Things sure been difficult without my boo." Original Cindy said, slightly shaking her head.
"At least you don't have an imaginary Max." Logan mumbled, looking down.
"What?" Krit asked, with a new mouthful of food.
"Uh...I said...uh..." Logan's mind blanked. Then he figured he might as well tell them, and if they didn't believe him, he'd blame it on being a loon. "There's this imaginary Max. She keeps pestering me. I swear I don't know where she came from. I mean, she tells me that my subconscious made her, but I don't know. She keeps saying that she needs to help me."
"Uh, Logan...the only help you need is found in a therapist's office." Krit said.
"No!" Logan exclaimed. "She's real! At least I think she's real."
At that moment, Max walked into the kitchen and smiled at Logan.
"You said I'm real." Max said.
"Look! She's right there!" Logan exclaimed and pointed to Max. Everyone looked at the spot where Logan pointed, then back at him like he was crazy.
"I told you, they can't see me." Max said.
"Logan, boo of my boo, you're overworked. Have you been getting enough sleep?" Original Cindy asked and walked over to Logan, Max stepped out of her way.
"I hate getting stepped through. It's so weird." Max said. Logan just looked at her. Original Cindy turned to look at the spot where Logan was looking.
"She ain't there, aiight? Look, why don't we leave and you can take a nice, hot shower, then go to bed."
"I'm not tired!" Logan said. His voice suddenly became defeated. "She's standing right there."
"You really want her to be, but she isn't." Syl said. "We'll head out, you take her advice, all right?"
Logan just nodded.
"Come on Krit." Syl said.
"But my sandwich." Krit said.
"Take it with you." Syl said. "Bye Logan."
"Yeah, bye." Krit said.
Krit and Syl left the apartment. Cindy smiled at Logan.
"You can do it, boo." She said on her way to the door. "Just don't let it control you."
Cindy left, leaving Logan and Max in an uncomfortable silence.
"You said I was real." Max repeated.
Logan just rolled his eyes and went into the bathroom. He started the shower and listened for Max. He really didn't Max, imaginary or not, barging in on him when he was in the shower.
Logan got into the shower, not knowing that Max was just outside the door, grinning wickedly.
After a few minutes, the door to the bathroom banged open and Max stood there.
"Max! God! Get out!"
"What?" Max asked and opened her arms wide. "I'm imaginary! It doesn't count."
"Yes it does!" Logan exclaimed. "Out!"
Max just gave him a look and left the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She sat on the edge of Logan's bed, waiting for him.
When Logan came out of the bathroom, he didn't even notice Max until she whistled.
"What're you doing in here?" He asked, holding the towel tighter to his waist.
"I already told you, it doesn't count." Max said. "Oh and...you said I was real."
"I know I said you were real. I must be going crazy." Logan said, then he looked at her with an odd look. "How much did you see?"
Max rolled her eyes.
"I saw it all, baby!" Max laughed at the look on his face. "Just kidding. It was steamy and I couldn't see a thing."
"Okay then, why start now?"
Before Max could ask what he meant, Logan had shoved her out of the bedroom.
"I may not be physically real, but I can still pick locks!" Max called through the door.
"I don't care." Logan's muffled voice came from inside.
Max shrugged and went in. Logan was lying in bed.
"Going to sleep?" Max asked.
"Yes." Logan said. "I figure that I might wake up and you'll be gone."
"No chance." Max said. "We haven't worked out your problem."
"That's nice. Don't you have anywhere to go?" Logan asked, never opening his eyes.
"No! I thought you got it. I'm imaginary Max. You are the only one who can see me. It's not like I can go to hotel. Gee, can I have a room? I don't think so!"
"Geez, don't get all hot and bothered over it. There's a pillow and some blankets in the closet." Logan mumbled.
"God I hope this isn't the way you treat the real Max." Max complained as she got the blanket and pillow.
"No, just you." Logan mumbled.
Max left the bedroom rambling on about imaginary persons mistreatment. ("Just because I'm not real!")
The next morning, Logan opened his eyes and found the apartment silent. He let out a breath of relief.
'Okay, she's gone. Definitely gone. She is so gone that she's...standing in my doorway.'
"Something you want?" Logan asked.
"I couldn't sleep at all." Max said.
"The real Max doesn't sleep. I suppose my subconscious put that in your genetics?" Logan asked.
"Apparently." Max sighed. "I'm bored. Can we work on your problems yet?"
"If I let you work on my so called problems, will you go away?" Logan asked and sat up in bed.
"Yes. The whole point of me being here is having to get rid of your issues." Max said.
"Hey, I don't have issues. I have problems." Logan said.
"Sorry, but I've already written it down in my handy-dandy notebook as 'Max issues'. I wrote it in pen, and it cannot be changed."
"Ya know, I used to have a normal life." Logan muttered as he got out of bed.
"Well, that's just a lie." Max said. "Yeah, being Eyes Only and having genetically engineered pals is perfectly normal."
"It is to me." Logan said and went into the bathroom to change.
Max pulled a small notebook from her back pocket.
"It is to you." She mumbled as she wrote.
Logan came out of the bathroom and Max's notebook seemed to have disappeared. Logan got a skeptical look on his face.
"What were you doing?" He asked.
"Nothing." Max lied. 'Nothing you need to know about. Just jotting a few things down about you...name, age, sex, your deepest fears and desires...nothing much.'
"Yeah, okay." Logan said, even though it was obvious he didn't believe her. "I still feel kind of weird. I mean I know you're not, really real, but you are real in a way. Ya know what I'm saying?"
"I came from your mind. Of course I know what you're saying." Max said. 'I'm lying, but I'm very good at it.'
"So, you can't eat being...not real, right?" Logan asked. Max just nodded. "Okay, um, I'll just make some Pop Tarts and we can get cracking on my...problems."
"Issues!" Max called after him as he made his way to the kitchen. She soon followed him, getting very bored just standing in the bedroom.
"I actually know what a Pop Tart is." Max said and sat on the counter. "But that's only because I know what you know. Now, I would like to discuss your looooooooove patterns."
"Excuse me?" Logan asked, almost choking on his Pop Tart.
"You seem to go in patterns, like we were discussing when you were ignoring me. Your crushes as a teen were as follows, celebrity list only: Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Biel, Jessica Simpson, Jessica Alb-"
"Stop it." Logan said. "That's way too creepy. And why do you need to know this?"
"Oh, I don't. I'm just really bored." Max said.
"If you're so bored, go watch TV. I think Pre-Pulse cartoons are on now. Yeah, go watch the Care Bears or something." Logan suggested.
"The Care Bears, a cute and cuddly group of little bears who made it their mission to keep the world caring." Max said as if she were reading it from a book. "I love knowing this stuff!"
Max walked into the living room and Logan finished his Pop Tart. He drank the last bit of his coffee, but wasn't exactly happy about what was about to happen. He braced himself, then went into the living, finding Max completely enthralled in an old episode of The Popples.
"Popples, cute little furry creatures that can roll up into balls. They've got a bunch of human kid friends and they have fun." Max said, again like she was reading from a book. "Did I mention that I love knowing this stuff?"
"Yes, you have." Logan said, sitting next to her. "Aw, look at that, it's over."
"No it-" But Max didn't get to finish, Logan turned off the TV. "What'd you do that for?"
"I'm seeing you for a reason." He reminded her.
"Right, okay." Max said and pulled out her small notebook.
"You really do have a handy-dandy notebook." Logan said.
"I never kid, I never lie." Max said, looking at him. She looked down at her notebook and ripped out a page.
"What are you doing?" Logan asked.
"That's the love pattern page." Max said. "Unless you want to discuss it..."
"No, no." Logan said. "Just...uh...do whatever."
"Okay." Max mumbled and looked in the notebook. She took a pen from her pocket and wrote something down.
"What're you writing?" Logan asked, craning his neck to see the notebook.
"'No patience.'" Max muttered and wrote it down.
"I've got patience!" Logan said.
"'Irritable.'" Max mumbled and wrote that down too.
Logan thought it would be best if he just didn't say anything more. Max stopped writing, and sat on the coffee table. She patted a small pillow on the couch. Logan gave her a questioning look.
"I want to do this properly." Max explained.
Logan took a breath and laid down on the couch. Max looked at him, still holding the notebook and pen.
"You hate your father, don't you?"
"What?" Logan asked and sat up.
"Sorry, sorry. Lay back down. Okay." Max looked at her notebook. "The real me, how do you feel about her...me...her...me...the real Max, the unimaginery one?"
"Can't you just show me some ink blots or something?" Logan asked and moved so that he was sitting on the couch, not lying on it.
"They come later." Max said. "Now, tell me."
"I don't know." Logan said.
"You're lying to me. Didn't anyone ever tell you about lying? I assume that-"
"Didn't anyone ever tell you about assuming?" Logan interrupted.
"Ooooo, deep seeded aggression!" Max squealed.
"It is not!" Logan snapped. Max gave him a look. Logan sighed. "Fine, you want to know?" Max couldn't even hear what he said.
"What?"
Logan said it a tiny bit louder.
"Still can't hear you. Try it again, this time with enthusiasm."
"I said," Logan paused. "I LOVE HER!"
"Okay! When I said enthusiasm, I didn't mean the make-the-imaginery-Max-go-deaf kind." Max said. She wrote something in her notebook, then read a little. "Do you dislike Zack?"
"Strongly." Logan answered quickly.
"Well, that certainly-" Max stopped talking when Logan glared at her. "Okay, moving on!" Max looked down at her notebook, then flipped the page. "Lydecker. Any thoughts?"
"No." Logan answered with a stony expression on his face.
Max mouthed 'Okay' mostly to herself and made a little note in her notebook. She skimmed the page again and asked, "Which came first? The chicken or the egg?"
"Chicken." Logan answered with a sigh.
"Who'd win an arm wrestling match? Superman or Spiderman?"
"Superman."
"Which came first? Eyes Only or Max?"
"Max."
"Ha! I mean...uh..." Max suddenly became quiet and wrote something down in her notebook. "I love progress. Lets talk about Eyes Only. I finally got Eyes Only...you only show your...eyes. Okay, I'm gonna let you talk now."
"I protect the downtrodden...blah, blah, woof, woof."
"Ooookay." Max wrote something down in her notebook. "If there was a fire in this apar-pent...your home, what one thing, one thing, would you save?"
"Pictures." Logan answered absentmindedly.
"Any particular pictures?" Max asked. This had nothing to do with his issues, she was just curious, however, when Logan pointed to a shelf with pictures on it, it became relevant.
"Hmmmmm."
"Hmmmmm, what?" Logan asked.
"Nothing, nothing." Max said. "I just...know something now."
"What do you know?" Logan asked.
"Huh? Ohhh...nothing." Max lied. She had gotten Logan's issue all figured out, but she wasn't about to tell Logan that just yet.
"It is something." Logan said.
"You're right it is, but I've got to go."
"You're leaving me?" Logan asked.
"Not forever. You still have issues." Max stood up and put the notebook in her back pocket. "I'll be back in a little while. But before I go...do you see dead people?"
Logan just laughed and Max gave a small smile. But before Logan could say anything, Max snapped her fingers and was gone. Logan looked wildly around, then grinned and thought about the advantages of being imaginary.
Max appeared in a dull cell. And looked around. She found the woman she was looking for sitting on a very uncomfortable looking bed.
"Okay," Max said. "I know you can't see me. I don't even think you can hear me. How am I supposed to do this? Logan is the only one who can see me. Well, I need you to go back home."
"Home." The woman said.
"Yes, that's it. Although, I think you're just repeating that because of you, not me. How can I be sure? Um...oh!" Max leaned closer. "Pop Tarts."
The woman's head snapped up and she got an odd expression. "Pop what?"
"Yes!" Max exclaimed. "Okay, I assume...wait, I'm guessing that you can only hear pivotal words of mine. That's a good thing too. You really don't need to hear my-nevermind. Woman on a mission here."
"Mission." She said.
"Wait, no...mission bad. Mission bad, mission bad. Come on..."
"Bad."
"Yes! Okay, get a hold on yourself before you have an imaginary heartattack Max."
"Max."
"I was talking to myself, but okay! Let's try...um...I know! I."
"I."
"Good, good! Okay...work with me Max. I know that real people can be...odd at times but you've got to listen to me. Love."
"Love."
"Yes! Go me! Let that sink in...real people scare me. Okay...real Max...you've got to pay really close attention, because the next word could trigger a lot of things inside your subconscious. Logan."
Max stood back, not knowing what the real Max's reaction would be. Her head picked up slightly.
"Logan."
"Okay, you're subconscious is now in high gear with the words 'I love Logan.' That would be my part in all this. Back to Logan so I can say a quick good-bye." Max snapped her fingers and was back at Logan's penthouse, with a huge smile on her face.
"What are you smiling for?" Logan asked.
"Me? I've just solved your issue." Max said proudly.
"No you haven't." Logan said.
"Oh, but I have. If my subconscious plans go according to...plan, then well, the good glory of me will be hailed!" Max said happily.
"What?" Logan asked totally confused.
"She should have stolen that helicopter by now..." Max muttered to herself.
"Huh?" Logan asked.
"Hmmmm? Oh, nothing." Max lied.
"You say you solved my problem-"
"Issue." Max corrected.
"Whatever." Logan snapped. "You say you solved it, but I don't feel any better. I really believed in you. I don't feel any different yet. What? Will this change just happen overnight?"
"Most likely, yes." Max said.
"Oh yeah, I'll just wake up in the morning feeling better, won't I?"
"Well," Max said. "If my plan goes according to...plan, then yes. You will feel better in the morning."
"You haven't helped me at all."
"That really hurts Logan." Max said. "You have no idea how much I've helped you. You shouldn't say that."
"I should've known. I am crazy." Logan muttered and went to the window.
"Logan-"
"You should just go. I don't care if you can or cannot retreat into my subconscious, just...go."
Max shook her head sadly and went into the kitchen. She ripped a piece of paper from her notebook and wrote:
Dear Logan,
It's me, your imaginary Max.
I know that you don't believe that I helped you, but trust me, you will in the morning. And I know that you don't mean it, so there's no need to pull me out of your subconscious so that you can apologize. I mean, one Max is enough right?
Your Pal,
Imaginary Max
Max read the note over, then went back into the living room. Logan was still looking out of the window. She crept over and placed the note on the table. She took a last look at Logan, then simply disappeared.
After about twenty minutes, Logan decided he was too harsh with his imaginary Max and looked for her to apologize, but he couldn't find her, he couldn't see her...anywhere.
Logan sat on the couch, with his head in his hands and sighed. He'd lost them both, the real Max and her identical in most ways imaginary double.
Logan moved his hands and noticed the note. He picked it up and read it. He sat on floor, level to the table, and read it again and again. He kept reading the note, trying to find the hidden meaning, but all he did was fall asleep.
The next morning, Logan felt a light pushing on his shoulders. He opened his eyes and looked up. It was Max.
"Not you again." Logan mumbled.
"You're not happy to see me?" Max asked.
Logan jumped up.
"Max??"
"Uh, yeah."
"Max, I thought you were Max!" Logan exclaimed.
"Uh huh...now see, this isn't the kind of welcome home thing I had been counting on."
"Well, it's just that...nevermind." Logan hugged Max and after a few minutes let go and remembered that no one believed him.
"Now I've got proof! None of them believed me when I told them that my subconscious created a double of you, but I've got the note now!"
Max was looking at him like he was crazy, but with the chicken lady and melon man, he didn't even notice.
Logan scrambled back to the coffee table and searched for the note, but it was gone.
"No...no...it was my proof. My only real proof." Logan muttered and slumped onto the couch.
"I believe you." Max said and sat next to him.
"You do? Really?" Logan asked, looking at her.
"After what I heard? Really." Max assured him.
"So, how did you get out anyway?" Logan asked.
"Well, I'm a little tired now, so I'll tell you the whole story later, but I will let you know that it involved a helicopter." Max said. She smiled at him and went to the bathroom to take a shower.
Logan's eyes widened.
'A helicopter?' He thought. 'She said...I remember...wow.' Logan smiled as he heard the shower turn on.
'I don't know if you can hear me, but...thanks.'
THE END
Disclaimer: Mr. Help The Boat Is Sinking and his little buddy own Dark Angel. I own nothing...it's sad but true.
This is after the finale, but it doesn't seem like it. The only thing I really used from the finale is that Max is gone...and Logan has some "Max issues" that haven't been explored, I can promise that. Well...maybe the first few lines of the beginning, but very few. Just see for yourself.
Logan looked at the gun in his hand and just thought, 'Why not? Nothing left to lose.' He put the gun up to his temple, but a voice behind him made him stop.
"Lucy, I'm home." The voice chimed.
Logan couldn't believe it. Max was standing in the doorway of his computer room.
"Max? What're you? How did you? Max?" Logan asked, bewildered. "Max? Wh-what are you doing here?"
"I stopped by for some waffles." Max said sarcastically. "It's obvious you need help, so here I am!"
"But you're...dead...aren't you?" Logan asked. He thought that he was going crazy.
"See, you don't know that, so I don't know that." Max answered and sat on the corner of his desk.
"What?" Logan asked, even more confused.
"I came from your subconscious. I only know about me what you know about me." Max explained.
"I've gone nuts." Logan muttered and put the gun back in the drawer.
"No, you haven't. Just think of me like a-a-a..er...an imaginary friend! Think of me as an imaginary friend." Max said.
"I'm actually living out Drop Dead Fred." Logan muttered.
"Hey, I know what that is! It's a movie about that imaginary friend who lasted a little too long!" Max exclaimed. "But I only know it because you know it."
"This is all too much." Logan sighed.
"Well, it isn't my fault you're a big, dumb jack-" Max was interrupted when Bling came in the room.
"Logan, I'm going to go now. Need anything?" Bling asked.
Logan looked quickly at Max, who was giving him a look, and then looked Bling, then back to Max. Bling looked where Logan was staring, but saw nothing.
"Uh...no, Bling. I don't need anything." Logan said, tearing his gaze from Max. "Anything odd about the room Bling?"
"He can't see me." Max sighed.
"Just you man." Bling answered and left.
"So, I'm so troubled that I need an imaginary Max? Oh man...I'm screwed up." Logan said and started his computer.
"Now that I'm here, you can't ignore me." Max told him as he started to type away at the computer.
"Mmmmmhmmm. Just go make a sandwich or something to keep you busy." Logan mumbled.
"I can't eat, I'm not real." Max told him. "And this isn't a joke. You can't ignore me! Hey!"
Logan sighed, shut off his computer again, and left the room.
"Hey! You can't walk away from me!" Max called and followed him.
Logan picked up his jacket and opened the door.
"I'm ignoring you. If I do, you'll just go away and I can convince myself that I'm sane." Logan told her and left the apartment. Max followed him.
"I already told you, you can't ignore me!" Max said and climbed into the Aztec with Logan.
"Get out of my car." Logan said and put the keys in the ignition. "I'm pretending you don't exist. I mean, it's not like you're the real...you."
"I am the real me...the imaginary me, but still." Max said.
"No, no, no. I'm just going crazy. You're...dead." Logan said and pulled onto the road.
"Ah, but you don't believe that." Max said. "I know because...I COME FROM YOUR HEAD!"
"No! I can't believe that! If I believe that..." Logan's voice trailed.
"What? If you believe that I could be real, what? You could be happy for like five seconds? Sorry, but it's your own fault. Your screwed up brain made me come out. I'll just sit here silently until you believe me." Max said and turned to look out the window.
'I'm just going crazy. That's the only rational thing I can think of. I mean, there's no way that my subconscious created an imaginary friend Max. It just seems to weird. I'm normal damnit! Okay, but if I'm normal, why is she still sitting next to me in this car? Get a hold of yourself Logan! I can't let myself be pulled into this...this crazy little world.' Logan thought. He let out a breath at a stop sign. 'Okay, just close my eyes and when I open them, she'll be gone.'
Logan closed his eyes, then opened just one and peeked toward the passenger seat. She was still sitting there, looking out the window.
Logan let out a groan and rested his head on the steering wheel. A car honking its horn behind him made him go again.
"You've sure changed your driving style since last time I saw you. Stopped a little too long back there." Max said.
"I thought you were being silent? And you've never seen me before! You're not real!" Logan said as he parked.
"Would you please just accept it? I'm here...you've obviously got issues and you obviously need me to help you with them!" Max yelled as Logan walked into South Market.
"I'm ignoring you." Logan mumbled as he examined some lettuce.
"You can't ignore me! I'm here. I will be until you get over whatever it is that...wait...coming from your mind does have some advantages." Max said.
Logan just ignored her and went over to some tomatoes.
"You believe I'm alive!" Max exclaimed, but Logan ignored her still and moved on to some chickens. "Oh! But this is interesting...you're grieving even though you truly believe I'm alive."
"Just get out of my head!" Logan exclaimed to Max. The woman at the chicken stand looked at Logan like he was crazy. "And scene." Logan took a bow and walked away quickly.
"I don't know what you think you can accomplish by believing that I'm not real. I'm real. Stop ignoring me. There's an old Pre-Pulse song...what is it? Um...oh God, think! I'm using your thoughts here. A little help would be appreciated." Max said as she followed Logan to an orange stand.
"Just leave me alone." Logan hissed under his breath. He didn't need anyone else thinking that he was nuts.
"I know! It's a song by Jennifer Lopez! How did it go? Um...oh there it is!" Max started to dance to music that only she could hear, but the song started playing in the back of Logan's head. Max began to sing, "I'm real. What you get is what you see. What your tryin' to do to me. You wanna say your mine...be with me all the time. Hey!"
Max caught up to Logan, he had walked away to a lemon stand. Max practically jumped next to him.
"Hey, you left me behind there talking about Jennifer all by myself." Max suddenly smiled. "I see you had a crush on her. Oh, oh...and Jennifer Aniston...and Jennifer Love Hewitt, am I sensing a pattern? Oh, and Jessica Simpson...and Jessica Al-"
"Shut up!" Logan hissed. "Just go away and stay out of my head!"
Max gave a very frustrated sigh.
"I'm a part of your mind! I can't leave until you've settled whatever issue you have!"
"Thanks, but I can do it on my own." Logan muttered and left to look at some melons.
"No, you can't." Max said. "Your mind created me for a reason. If you'd just acknowledge me-"
"I will not acknowledge someone who isn't real!" Logan yelled. Now the melon man also thought Logan was a loon. He gave a small smile and walked away quickly.
"I'm becoming very impatient with you." Max said, frustrated. "Don't think that I won't kick your-"
Max was interrupted by Logan loudly, and fakely, coughing. Max began to breathe in and out, over and over. She followed Logan back to the car.
"That was the most unproductive shopping trip I've ever been on." Logan mumbled as he got into the car.
"I thought you weren't talking to me." Max said as she climbed into the passenger seat.
"I just can't believe it went so...unproductively." Logan said, ignoring her.
"Oh I see," Max said. "You're pretending to talk to yourself and ignore me. That's so fifth grade of you."
They rode back to Logan's penthouse in silence. When they got through the door, Max stormed past Logan and sat on the couch, with her legs and arms crossed. She had an angry expression on her face and her foot was tapping in the air wildly.
"Mad?" Logan asked entering the living room.
"Yes, I am." Max said, not even looking at him. "You ignore me. You say I'm not real. I know everything in that little head of yours. You do believe I am real, I can see it in there. I'm very upset that you are acting like you don't."
"I'm sorry, but suddenly I'm seeing someone that no one else can see. That is never a good sign." Logan said.
"I'm not stupid. I know all of that, but come on. If you just say that you acknowledge me and that I exist, then I can help you." Max said.
Before Logan could say anything, Bling walked into the living room. Max gave Logan a look and he turned toward Bling.
"I found some people that you might want to talk to." Bling said.
Bling left and Syl and Krit entered the room, both with somber expressions. Original Cindy walked in behind them.
"Oooh! I know who they!" Max said and shot up from the couch.
"Hey." Logan greeted. All three of his guests mumbled 'heys' back. "Kitchen?"
"Food?" Krit asked, his mood picking up.
"Yes, there is food in my kitchen." Logan said. Krit was off almost immediately. They were all relieved that the mood had lightened.
"So," Krit asked, with a mouthful of a ham sandwich, "What's new?"
"Trying to explain things." Original Cindy mumbled.
A small 'hmmmmm' from Syl was given in agreement.
"Things sure been difficult without my boo." Original Cindy said, slightly shaking her head.
"At least you don't have an imaginary Max." Logan mumbled, looking down.
"What?" Krit asked, with a new mouthful of food.
"Uh...I said...uh..." Logan's mind blanked. Then he figured he might as well tell them, and if they didn't believe him, he'd blame it on being a loon. "There's this imaginary Max. She keeps pestering me. I swear I don't know where she came from. I mean, she tells me that my subconscious made her, but I don't know. She keeps saying that she needs to help me."
"Uh, Logan...the only help you need is found in a therapist's office." Krit said.
"No!" Logan exclaimed. "She's real! At least I think she's real."
At that moment, Max walked into the kitchen and smiled at Logan.
"You said I'm real." Max said.
"Look! She's right there!" Logan exclaimed and pointed to Max. Everyone looked at the spot where Logan pointed, then back at him like he was crazy.
"I told you, they can't see me." Max said.
"Logan, boo of my boo, you're overworked. Have you been getting enough sleep?" Original Cindy asked and walked over to Logan, Max stepped out of her way.
"I hate getting stepped through. It's so weird." Max said. Logan just looked at her. Original Cindy turned to look at the spot where Logan was looking.
"She ain't there, aiight? Look, why don't we leave and you can take a nice, hot shower, then go to bed."
"I'm not tired!" Logan said. His voice suddenly became defeated. "She's standing right there."
"You really want her to be, but she isn't." Syl said. "We'll head out, you take her advice, all right?"
Logan just nodded.
"Come on Krit." Syl said.
"But my sandwich." Krit said.
"Take it with you." Syl said. "Bye Logan."
"Yeah, bye." Krit said.
Krit and Syl left the apartment. Cindy smiled at Logan.
"You can do it, boo." She said on her way to the door. "Just don't let it control you."
Cindy left, leaving Logan and Max in an uncomfortable silence.
"You said I was real." Max repeated.
Logan just rolled his eyes and went into the bathroom. He started the shower and listened for Max. He really didn't Max, imaginary or not, barging in on him when he was in the shower.
Logan got into the shower, not knowing that Max was just outside the door, grinning wickedly.
After a few minutes, the door to the bathroom banged open and Max stood there.
"Max! God! Get out!"
"What?" Max asked and opened her arms wide. "I'm imaginary! It doesn't count."
"Yes it does!" Logan exclaimed. "Out!"
Max just gave him a look and left the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She sat on the edge of Logan's bed, waiting for him.
When Logan came out of the bathroom, he didn't even notice Max until she whistled.
"What're you doing in here?" He asked, holding the towel tighter to his waist.
"I already told you, it doesn't count." Max said. "Oh and...you said I was real."
"I know I said you were real. I must be going crazy." Logan said, then he looked at her with an odd look. "How much did you see?"
Max rolled her eyes.
"I saw it all, baby!" Max laughed at the look on his face. "Just kidding. It was steamy and I couldn't see a thing."
"Okay then, why start now?"
Before Max could ask what he meant, Logan had shoved her out of the bedroom.
"I may not be physically real, but I can still pick locks!" Max called through the door.
"I don't care." Logan's muffled voice came from inside.
Max shrugged and went in. Logan was lying in bed.
"Going to sleep?" Max asked.
"Yes." Logan said. "I figure that I might wake up and you'll be gone."
"No chance." Max said. "We haven't worked out your problem."
"That's nice. Don't you have anywhere to go?" Logan asked, never opening his eyes.
"No! I thought you got it. I'm imaginary Max. You are the only one who can see me. It's not like I can go to hotel. Gee, can I have a room? I don't think so!"
"Geez, don't get all hot and bothered over it. There's a pillow and some blankets in the closet." Logan mumbled.
"God I hope this isn't the way you treat the real Max." Max complained as she got the blanket and pillow.
"No, just you." Logan mumbled.
Max left the bedroom rambling on about imaginary persons mistreatment. ("Just because I'm not real!")
The next morning, Logan opened his eyes and found the apartment silent. He let out a breath of relief.
'Okay, she's gone. Definitely gone. She is so gone that she's...standing in my doorway.'
"Something you want?" Logan asked.
"I couldn't sleep at all." Max said.
"The real Max doesn't sleep. I suppose my subconscious put that in your genetics?" Logan asked.
"Apparently." Max sighed. "I'm bored. Can we work on your problems yet?"
"If I let you work on my so called problems, will you go away?" Logan asked and sat up in bed.
"Yes. The whole point of me being here is having to get rid of your issues." Max said.
"Hey, I don't have issues. I have problems." Logan said.
"Sorry, but I've already written it down in my handy-dandy notebook as 'Max issues'. I wrote it in pen, and it cannot be changed."
"Ya know, I used to have a normal life." Logan muttered as he got out of bed.
"Well, that's just a lie." Max said. "Yeah, being Eyes Only and having genetically engineered pals is perfectly normal."
"It is to me." Logan said and went into the bathroom to change.
Max pulled a small notebook from her back pocket.
"It is to you." She mumbled as she wrote.
Logan came out of the bathroom and Max's notebook seemed to have disappeared. Logan got a skeptical look on his face.
"What were you doing?" He asked.
"Nothing." Max lied. 'Nothing you need to know about. Just jotting a few things down about you...name, age, sex, your deepest fears and desires...nothing much.'
"Yeah, okay." Logan said, even though it was obvious he didn't believe her. "I still feel kind of weird. I mean I know you're not, really real, but you are real in a way. Ya know what I'm saying?"
"I came from your mind. Of course I know what you're saying." Max said. 'I'm lying, but I'm very good at it.'
"So, you can't eat being...not real, right?" Logan asked. Max just nodded. "Okay, um, I'll just make some Pop Tarts and we can get cracking on my...problems."
"Issues!" Max called after him as he made his way to the kitchen. She soon followed him, getting very bored just standing in the bedroom.
"I actually know what a Pop Tart is." Max said and sat on the counter. "But that's only because I know what you know. Now, I would like to discuss your looooooooove patterns."
"Excuse me?" Logan asked, almost choking on his Pop Tart.
"You seem to go in patterns, like we were discussing when you were ignoring me. Your crushes as a teen were as follows, celebrity list only: Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Biel, Jessica Simpson, Jessica Alb-"
"Stop it." Logan said. "That's way too creepy. And why do you need to know this?"
"Oh, I don't. I'm just really bored." Max said.
"If you're so bored, go watch TV. I think Pre-Pulse cartoons are on now. Yeah, go watch the Care Bears or something." Logan suggested.
"The Care Bears, a cute and cuddly group of little bears who made it their mission to keep the world caring." Max said as if she were reading it from a book. "I love knowing this stuff!"
Max walked into the living room and Logan finished his Pop Tart. He drank the last bit of his coffee, but wasn't exactly happy about what was about to happen. He braced himself, then went into the living, finding Max completely enthralled in an old episode of The Popples.
"Popples, cute little furry creatures that can roll up into balls. They've got a bunch of human kid friends and they have fun." Max said, again like she was reading from a book. "Did I mention that I love knowing this stuff?"
"Yes, you have." Logan said, sitting next to her. "Aw, look at that, it's over."
"No it-" But Max didn't get to finish, Logan turned off the TV. "What'd you do that for?"
"I'm seeing you for a reason." He reminded her.
"Right, okay." Max said and pulled out her small notebook.
"You really do have a handy-dandy notebook." Logan said.
"I never kid, I never lie." Max said, looking at him. She looked down at her notebook and ripped out a page.
"What are you doing?" Logan asked.
"That's the love pattern page." Max said. "Unless you want to discuss it..."
"No, no." Logan said. "Just...uh...do whatever."
"Okay." Max mumbled and looked in the notebook. She took a pen from her pocket and wrote something down.
"What're you writing?" Logan asked, craning his neck to see the notebook.
"'No patience.'" Max muttered and wrote it down.
"I've got patience!" Logan said.
"'Irritable.'" Max mumbled and wrote that down too.
Logan thought it would be best if he just didn't say anything more. Max stopped writing, and sat on the coffee table. She patted a small pillow on the couch. Logan gave her a questioning look.
"I want to do this properly." Max explained.
Logan took a breath and laid down on the couch. Max looked at him, still holding the notebook and pen.
"You hate your father, don't you?"
"What?" Logan asked and sat up.
"Sorry, sorry. Lay back down. Okay." Max looked at her notebook. "The real me, how do you feel about her...me...her...me...the real Max, the unimaginery one?"
"Can't you just show me some ink blots or something?" Logan asked and moved so that he was sitting on the couch, not lying on it.
"They come later." Max said. "Now, tell me."
"I don't know." Logan said.
"You're lying to me. Didn't anyone ever tell you about lying? I assume that-"
"Didn't anyone ever tell you about assuming?" Logan interrupted.
"Ooooo, deep seeded aggression!" Max squealed.
"It is not!" Logan snapped. Max gave him a look. Logan sighed. "Fine, you want to know?" Max couldn't even hear what he said.
"What?"
Logan said it a tiny bit louder.
"Still can't hear you. Try it again, this time with enthusiasm."
"I said," Logan paused. "I LOVE HER!"
"Okay! When I said enthusiasm, I didn't mean the make-the-imaginery-Max-go-deaf kind." Max said. She wrote something in her notebook, then read a little. "Do you dislike Zack?"
"Strongly." Logan answered quickly.
"Well, that certainly-" Max stopped talking when Logan glared at her. "Okay, moving on!" Max looked down at her notebook, then flipped the page. "Lydecker. Any thoughts?"
"No." Logan answered with a stony expression on his face.
Max mouthed 'Okay' mostly to herself and made a little note in her notebook. She skimmed the page again and asked, "Which came first? The chicken or the egg?"
"Chicken." Logan answered with a sigh.
"Who'd win an arm wrestling match? Superman or Spiderman?"
"Superman."
"Which came first? Eyes Only or Max?"
"Max."
"Ha! I mean...uh..." Max suddenly became quiet and wrote something down in her notebook. "I love progress. Lets talk about Eyes Only. I finally got Eyes Only...you only show your...eyes. Okay, I'm gonna let you talk now."
"I protect the downtrodden...blah, blah, woof, woof."
"Ooookay." Max wrote something down in her notebook. "If there was a fire in this apar-pent...your home, what one thing, one thing, would you save?"
"Pictures." Logan answered absentmindedly.
"Any particular pictures?" Max asked. This had nothing to do with his issues, she was just curious, however, when Logan pointed to a shelf with pictures on it, it became relevant.
"Hmmmmm."
"Hmmmmm, what?" Logan asked.
"Nothing, nothing." Max said. "I just...know something now."
"What do you know?" Logan asked.
"Huh? Ohhh...nothing." Max lied. She had gotten Logan's issue all figured out, but she wasn't about to tell Logan that just yet.
"It is something." Logan said.
"You're right it is, but I've got to go."
"You're leaving me?" Logan asked.
"Not forever. You still have issues." Max stood up and put the notebook in her back pocket. "I'll be back in a little while. But before I go...do you see dead people?"
Logan just laughed and Max gave a small smile. But before Logan could say anything, Max snapped her fingers and was gone. Logan looked wildly around, then grinned and thought about the advantages of being imaginary.
Max appeared in a dull cell. And looked around. She found the woman she was looking for sitting on a very uncomfortable looking bed.
"Okay," Max said. "I know you can't see me. I don't even think you can hear me. How am I supposed to do this? Logan is the only one who can see me. Well, I need you to go back home."
"Home." The woman said.
"Yes, that's it. Although, I think you're just repeating that because of you, not me. How can I be sure? Um...oh!" Max leaned closer. "Pop Tarts."
The woman's head snapped up and she got an odd expression. "Pop what?"
"Yes!" Max exclaimed. "Okay, I assume...wait, I'm guessing that you can only hear pivotal words of mine. That's a good thing too. You really don't need to hear my-nevermind. Woman on a mission here."
"Mission." She said.
"Wait, no...mission bad. Mission bad, mission bad. Come on..."
"Bad."
"Yes! Okay, get a hold on yourself before you have an imaginary heartattack Max."
"Max."
"I was talking to myself, but okay! Let's try...um...I know! I."
"I."
"Good, good! Okay...work with me Max. I know that real people can be...odd at times but you've got to listen to me. Love."
"Love."
"Yes! Go me! Let that sink in...real people scare me. Okay...real Max...you've got to pay really close attention, because the next word could trigger a lot of things inside your subconscious. Logan."
Max stood back, not knowing what the real Max's reaction would be. Her head picked up slightly.
"Logan."
"Okay, you're subconscious is now in high gear with the words 'I love Logan.' That would be my part in all this. Back to Logan so I can say a quick good-bye." Max snapped her fingers and was back at Logan's penthouse, with a huge smile on her face.
"What are you smiling for?" Logan asked.
"Me? I've just solved your issue." Max said proudly.
"No you haven't." Logan said.
"Oh, but I have. If my subconscious plans go according to...plan, then well, the good glory of me will be hailed!" Max said happily.
"What?" Logan asked totally confused.
"She should have stolen that helicopter by now..." Max muttered to herself.
"Huh?" Logan asked.
"Hmmmm? Oh, nothing." Max lied.
"You say you solved my problem-"
"Issue." Max corrected.
"Whatever." Logan snapped. "You say you solved it, but I don't feel any better. I really believed in you. I don't feel any different yet. What? Will this change just happen overnight?"
"Most likely, yes." Max said.
"Oh yeah, I'll just wake up in the morning feeling better, won't I?"
"Well," Max said. "If my plan goes according to...plan, then yes. You will feel better in the morning."
"You haven't helped me at all."
"That really hurts Logan." Max said. "You have no idea how much I've helped you. You shouldn't say that."
"I should've known. I am crazy." Logan muttered and went to the window.
"Logan-"
"You should just go. I don't care if you can or cannot retreat into my subconscious, just...go."
Max shook her head sadly and went into the kitchen. She ripped a piece of paper from her notebook and wrote:
Dear Logan,
It's me, your imaginary Max.
I know that you don't believe that I helped you, but trust me, you will in the morning. And I know that you don't mean it, so there's no need to pull me out of your subconscious so that you can apologize. I mean, one Max is enough right?
Your Pal,
Imaginary Max
Max read the note over, then went back into the living room. Logan was still looking out of the window. She crept over and placed the note on the table. She took a last look at Logan, then simply disappeared.
After about twenty minutes, Logan decided he was too harsh with his imaginary Max and looked for her to apologize, but he couldn't find her, he couldn't see her...anywhere.
Logan sat on the couch, with his head in his hands and sighed. He'd lost them both, the real Max and her identical in most ways imaginary double.
Logan moved his hands and noticed the note. He picked it up and read it. He sat on floor, level to the table, and read it again and again. He kept reading the note, trying to find the hidden meaning, but all he did was fall asleep.
The next morning, Logan felt a light pushing on his shoulders. He opened his eyes and looked up. It was Max.
"Not you again." Logan mumbled.
"You're not happy to see me?" Max asked.
Logan jumped up.
"Max??"
"Uh, yeah."
"Max, I thought you were Max!" Logan exclaimed.
"Uh huh...now see, this isn't the kind of welcome home thing I had been counting on."
"Well, it's just that...nevermind." Logan hugged Max and after a few minutes let go and remembered that no one believed him.
"Now I've got proof! None of them believed me when I told them that my subconscious created a double of you, but I've got the note now!"
Max was looking at him like he was crazy, but with the chicken lady and melon man, he didn't even notice.
Logan scrambled back to the coffee table and searched for the note, but it was gone.
"No...no...it was my proof. My only real proof." Logan muttered and slumped onto the couch.
"I believe you." Max said and sat next to him.
"You do? Really?" Logan asked, looking at her.
"After what I heard? Really." Max assured him.
"So, how did you get out anyway?" Logan asked.
"Well, I'm a little tired now, so I'll tell you the whole story later, but I will let you know that it involved a helicopter." Max said. She smiled at him and went to the bathroom to take a shower.
Logan's eyes widened.
'A helicopter?' He thought. 'She said...I remember...wow.' Logan smiled as he heard the shower turn on.
'I don't know if you can hear me, but...thanks.'
THE END