Thinking of you
by Karumi
A/N: I translated it to English.
Disclaimer: FF9 belongs to Squaresoft, but the story is mine.
~*~
Here I am…staring at my reflection in the mirror. Sometimes I think the image I see is not me. I've changed so much in this past months, mi hair is longer, my body has matured and governing a kingdom is an everyday task.
Yesterday was my seventeen birthday. My friends hosted me a great birthday party…Steiner, Beatrix, Eiko, Quina, Vivi, Freya, uncle Cid, aunt Hilda…I wasn't surprised Amarant didn't show. Every person that was important to me was there…well…almost everyone.
It's been almost a year now and I still think about him everyday. I can see him every time I close my eyes and I get lost in my own thoughts. His blue eyes, his golden locks, his smile…I just can't stop thinking about him.
He made me a promise…I'm still waiting for him to fulfill it. I still remember that day; how he looked at me while the airship flew away; my heart broke in two at that instant. I also remember that that was the worst night of my life, I fell asleep on the balcony, waiting to see him coming back…he never did.
In two weeks is the anniversary of the day I met him. Tantalus will be coming back to represent "I want to be your canary"…this year we are going to dedicate it to him.
Everybody seems to know what I'm feeling; they've noticed how I don't pay any attention to any of the princes or nobles that in parties try to start a conversation with me. Specially Beatrix, that has become my advisor and one of my best friends. I already lost count of how many times she's told me that I have to go on with my life. In one occasion she even told me that I should forget about him…forget about him…how dare she say that!
Forget about him…I…(Oh! God I was so angry)…
I…(how dare she say that)…
I…I love him
I can't stand it anymore, my legs can't support my weight anymore and I fall to the floor…I just can't stop crying. I cry…cry until I have no more energy or tears to cry.
I go to the balcony; maybe today I'll see him come.
I look at the sky; the night is so beautiful.
I look toward my city; Alexandria; thanks to me and the people today it's completely reconstructed.
I look at the floor below, and for a second I see a solution…a solution to this pain that tears my soul everyday of my life.
But it's not the solution I'm looking for.
I retire to my room; I change to my nightgown; I look at myself in the mirror again…It looks as if I've been crying for hours…I remind myself that I have. I still have the necklace around my neck; this thing; that I consider the most important thing to me…I wouldn't think twice of throwing it away if it meant seeing him again.
I lay on my bed, I'm exhausted, I have a headache and to make matters worse I have insomnia. I found sleep only by thinking about him; in my dream he is with me…this dreams…I feel like they are trying to tell me something.
It's probably because I still have hope; the day after the incident at the Iifa Tree I sent a team over team over there…they found nothing. They didn't find his body…nothing; there wasn't even a trace that he had been in that place.
I know he's out there somewhere…and that one day he'll come back to me…that one day he'll keep his promise.
So in the meanwhile I'll wait…I'll wait till you return to me Zidane…because I love you…and in the meanwhile I'll dream about you…as I do every night.
~*~
END
A/N: First person O.o what do you think?