And God stretched his hands out, and there was more fanfic. And the people ran in fear.
Sailormoon doesn't belong to me. Everyone else does. You should know this by now.
***
Evil Mastermind Guy was annoyed. A minion had failed, and not only that, but he had run off with a cute evil chick. That sucked beans. Oh, yeah, and the Sailor Scouts turned Japanese, and were no longer stupid and annoying.
"I want another minion!" Evil Mastermind Guy wailed.
"I'll serve you," a dopey voice said. Out from the shadows came a tall, geeky guy with red hair, freckles, braces, and glasses, wearing a white apron with the words "Burger Bob's" printed on it and a silly red-and-white striped hat.
"Who are you?" Evil Mastermind Guy asked, annoyed.
"Timothy," the geeky guy answered.
Evil Mastermind Guy rolled his eyes. "Oh, brother. NEXT!"
"I'm good with technology," Timothy said hurriedly. He pushed his apron to the side and revealed a pocket protector. He reached in the hip pocket of his too-short jeans and pulled out a Muppet Babies velcro wallet. He opened it up and produced a card, which Evil Mastermind Guy read:
"Star Trekkie number 103." He handed it back to Timothy. "Impressive. Hmm...favorite Star Wars character?"
"Han Solo," they both answered instantly. Evil Mastermind Guy grinned. "Do you go on the Internet often, Timothy?"
"Everyday."
"I think we have a position for you..."
***
Usagi and Mamoru sat on a grassy bank in the park, holding hands.
"I love you, Mamo-chan," Usagi cooed.
"I love you more, Usako."
"I love you most, Mamo-chan."
"I love you mostest, Usako."
"Oh, gag," Luna, who had just popped up out of nowhere, said. Usagi smacked the cat with her purse.
***
Haruka, Michiru, and Hotaru were going to the grocery store to pick up some food. (Duh.) As they approached the door, they spotted a mechanical horse, and a familiar voice said, "I want to ride the horse!"
"No, honey," Michiru said. "We don't have time. You want dinner tonight, don't you?"
"I want to ride the horse!"
"We can have some ice cream when we get home."
"I want to ride the horse!"
"With pie," Michiru tried feebly.
"I want to ride the horse!" Her voice was shrill now, and they were getting lots of stares.
"Would you shut up?" Michiru hissed with a clenched-tooth smile.
"Nothing doing," Haruka said.
"I WANT TO RIDE THE HORSE!"
"Dammit!" Michiru said, and fished in her purse for a coin, which she handed over. "Ride away. But we're going inside."
As they went into the store, the joyous cry of "Ride 'em, cowboy!" rang out through the parking lot. Haruka happily held the sides of the horse as it rocked back and forth.
***
Back at Evil Mastermind Guy's spiffy fourth-dimension lair, he was sitting on the throne. "Where's my new minion?" Evil Mastermind Guy yelled.
"Sir, here I am," Timothy said, walking in. He was still wearing the Burger Bob outfit, as Evil Mastermind Guy didn't have an evil uniform in Timothy's size.
"Do you have a new plan for the conquer of Earth?" Evil Mastermind Guy asked.
Timothy frowned. "I thought we were going for universal conquest here," he answered.
"Baby steps," Evil Mastermind Guy said wisely. "We do this one thing at a time, my friend."
"Genius," Timothy said admiringly.
"Thank you. Well, we need an evil name for you. I'm thinking that since most evil names are some kind of jewel or precious stone, we'll tack an 'ite' on your name and leave it at that."
"Timothyite?" Timothy asked. "Sorry, but that sounds lame."
Evil Mastermind Guy was hurt. "Well, you try to think of something better!" he snapped. "I can't be an evil mastermind all the time."
"How about Duhite?" Timothy suggested.
"That's stupid," Evil Mastermind Guy said. But he couldn't think of anything better. So Timothy became Duhite.
***
Setsuna had just been drinking some serious alcohol and was feeling a bit tipsy. She was naturally in no condition to run the Gates of Time. So maybe that's why Chibi-Usa and Diana, instead of visiting the past like they were supposed to do, ended up in a post-apocalyptic 21st century, after the whole Y2K thing. Go figure.
***
"Wasn't Chibi-Usa supposed to visit yesterday?" Rei asked.
"Who cares?" Usagi answered.
"Wait, she was already here!" Ami pointed out. "She came and she was gone without a line of dialogue. How peculiar."
"That's nice," Usagi said. "Now ask me if I care."
***
Somewhere else in Minato-ku, three strange but sexy (in a certain transvestite sense, I guess) young men had just enrolled at Juuban High School.
"You do realize we're about three months too early for Stars, don't you, guys?" Yaten asked.
"Who cares?" Seiya answered. "We get to have more fun this way. And besides, haven't you been reading along? The whole story's out of whack."
"Where's Chibi Chibi?" Taiki asked.
***
Elsewhere, a small, totally kawaii girl with pink odango stood under an umbrella, three months too early, although only the drunken Setsuna and the Three Lights knew it, and to Setsuna it meant nothing, seeing as how she was plastered and spent most weekends confined to her couch nursing a bottle of vodka that she'd dubbed 'Stevie'.
"Chibi."
***
"Minna, I'm sensing something," Rei said.
"Me too," Michiru said.
"It's foggy."
"With a sort of marshmallowy texture."
"I got it!" Ami yelled.
"Nani?" the senshi chorused.
"Usagi's brain!"
***
Chibi-Usa and Diana were confused. More confused than usual, that is. "Diana?" Chibi-Usa said.
"Nani?"
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."
"Kansas? Where's that?"
"Beats me." There was a pause. "Diana?"
"Nani?"
"I think Puu messed up."
"No duh, Small Lady."
***FIN***
Sailormoon doesn't belong to me. Everyone else does. You should know this by now.
***
Evil Mastermind Guy was annoyed. A minion had failed, and not only that, but he had run off with a cute evil chick. That sucked beans. Oh, yeah, and the Sailor Scouts turned Japanese, and were no longer stupid and annoying.
"I want another minion!" Evil Mastermind Guy wailed.
"I'll serve you," a dopey voice said. Out from the shadows came a tall, geeky guy with red hair, freckles, braces, and glasses, wearing a white apron with the words "Burger Bob's" printed on it and a silly red-and-white striped hat.
"Who are you?" Evil Mastermind Guy asked, annoyed.
"Timothy," the geeky guy answered.
Evil Mastermind Guy rolled his eyes. "Oh, brother. NEXT!"
"I'm good with technology," Timothy said hurriedly. He pushed his apron to the side and revealed a pocket protector. He reached in the hip pocket of his too-short jeans and pulled out a Muppet Babies velcro wallet. He opened it up and produced a card, which Evil Mastermind Guy read:
"Star Trekkie number 103." He handed it back to Timothy. "Impressive. Hmm...favorite Star Wars character?"
"Han Solo," they both answered instantly. Evil Mastermind Guy grinned. "Do you go on the Internet often, Timothy?"
"Everyday."
"I think we have a position for you..."
***
Usagi and Mamoru sat on a grassy bank in the park, holding hands.
"I love you, Mamo-chan," Usagi cooed.
"I love you more, Usako."
"I love you most, Mamo-chan."
"I love you mostest, Usako."
"Oh, gag," Luna, who had just popped up out of nowhere, said. Usagi smacked the cat with her purse.
***
Haruka, Michiru, and Hotaru were going to the grocery store to pick up some food. (Duh.) As they approached the door, they spotted a mechanical horse, and a familiar voice said, "I want to ride the horse!"
"No, honey," Michiru said. "We don't have time. You want dinner tonight, don't you?"
"I want to ride the horse!"
"We can have some ice cream when we get home."
"I want to ride the horse!"
"With pie," Michiru tried feebly.
"I want to ride the horse!" Her voice was shrill now, and they were getting lots of stares.
"Would you shut up?" Michiru hissed with a clenched-tooth smile.
"Nothing doing," Haruka said.
"I WANT TO RIDE THE HORSE!"
"Dammit!" Michiru said, and fished in her purse for a coin, which she handed over. "Ride away. But we're going inside."
As they went into the store, the joyous cry of "Ride 'em, cowboy!" rang out through the parking lot. Haruka happily held the sides of the horse as it rocked back and forth.
***
Back at Evil Mastermind Guy's spiffy fourth-dimension lair, he was sitting on the throne. "Where's my new minion?" Evil Mastermind Guy yelled.
"Sir, here I am," Timothy said, walking in. He was still wearing the Burger Bob outfit, as Evil Mastermind Guy didn't have an evil uniform in Timothy's size.
"Do you have a new plan for the conquer of Earth?" Evil Mastermind Guy asked.
Timothy frowned. "I thought we were going for universal conquest here," he answered.
"Baby steps," Evil Mastermind Guy said wisely. "We do this one thing at a time, my friend."
"Genius," Timothy said admiringly.
"Thank you. Well, we need an evil name for you. I'm thinking that since most evil names are some kind of jewel or precious stone, we'll tack an 'ite' on your name and leave it at that."
"Timothyite?" Timothy asked. "Sorry, but that sounds lame."
Evil Mastermind Guy was hurt. "Well, you try to think of something better!" he snapped. "I can't be an evil mastermind all the time."
"How about Duhite?" Timothy suggested.
"That's stupid," Evil Mastermind Guy said. But he couldn't think of anything better. So Timothy became Duhite.
***
Setsuna had just been drinking some serious alcohol and was feeling a bit tipsy. She was naturally in no condition to run the Gates of Time. So maybe that's why Chibi-Usa and Diana, instead of visiting the past like they were supposed to do, ended up in a post-apocalyptic 21st century, after the whole Y2K thing. Go figure.
***
"Wasn't Chibi-Usa supposed to visit yesterday?" Rei asked.
"Who cares?" Usagi answered.
"Wait, she was already here!" Ami pointed out. "She came and she was gone without a line of dialogue. How peculiar."
"That's nice," Usagi said. "Now ask me if I care."
***
Somewhere else in Minato-ku, three strange but sexy (in a certain transvestite sense, I guess) young men had just enrolled at Juuban High School.
"You do realize we're about three months too early for Stars, don't you, guys?" Yaten asked.
"Who cares?" Seiya answered. "We get to have more fun this way. And besides, haven't you been reading along? The whole story's out of whack."
"Where's Chibi Chibi?" Taiki asked.
***
Elsewhere, a small, totally kawaii girl with pink odango stood under an umbrella, three months too early, although only the drunken Setsuna and the Three Lights knew it, and to Setsuna it meant nothing, seeing as how she was plastered and spent most weekends confined to her couch nursing a bottle of vodka that she'd dubbed 'Stevie'.
"Chibi."
***
"Minna, I'm sensing something," Rei said.
"Me too," Michiru said.
"It's foggy."
"With a sort of marshmallowy texture."
"I got it!" Ami yelled.
"Nani?" the senshi chorused.
"Usagi's brain!"
***
Chibi-Usa and Diana were confused. More confused than usual, that is. "Diana?" Chibi-Usa said.
"Nani?"
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."
"Kansas? Where's that?"
"Beats me." There was a pause. "Diana?"
"Nani?"
"I think Puu messed up."
"No duh, Small Lady."
***FIN***