Standard disclaimers apply. Well, duh.
***
Another youma attacked the fair city of Tokyo. That was to be expected, as according to the Sailormoon universe, no other city in the world exists. Not even Boston. Harvard just kinda floats there in space.
Anyway...this time, the youma was a cross between Richard Simmons and Steven Tyler. "I will make you sweat to the oldies!" he declared to the city. "My oldies. Let me begin with a number I like to call 'I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing'. I could stay awake, just to HEAR you breathing..."
"NOOO!!!" People started yelling and covering their ears, falling to their knees in agony.
"We should stop this guy," Taiki said.
"Yeah, we really should," Yaten agreed.
"Hai," Seiya sighed. "We should."
None of them moved. The screaming continued.
"Damn, this isn't getting any better," Taiki said.
"Nope, it really isn't," Yaten agreed.
"Iie," Seiya sighed. "It isn't."
None of them moved. Richard Simmons/Steven Tyler, who had no real name, started to do leg lifts. "Come on now, let's burn some fat!" he shouted.
"Now it's getting downright idiotic," Taiki said.
"Yeah, really idiotic," Yaten agreed.
"Hai," Seiya sighed. "Idiotic."
None of them moved. Suddenly the youma jumped up and attacked the café the Lights were sitting in. "I could stay awake, just to HEAR you breathing..." he crooned.
"Dammit!" Seiya yelled. "It's one thing for him to be annoying and idiotic. But it's another thing for him to be annoying and idiotic within close proximity! Minna, henshin yo!"
"Do we have to?" Taiki whined. Yaten rolled his eyes.
"I said, MINNA, HENSHIN YO!" Seiya yelled, getting all flamy-eyed like anime characters do.
"Eep!" Taiki yelped. "Okay. Maker Star Power, make UP!"
"Healer Star Power, make UP!" exclaimed Yaten.
"Fighter Star Power, make UP!" exclaimed Seiya.
They ran up to the youma. "Triple Sailor KICK!" was their cry, knocking the rather plump youma over.
"Who are you?" Richard Simmons/Steven Tyler asked.
"Sailor Star Fighter!"
"Sailor Star Healer!"
"Sailor Star Maker!"
"Stage on!"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
***
"Minna, I'm sensing something," Rei said.
"Me too," Michiru said.
"Let's go then," Usagi said. "Minna, henshin yo!"
"Mercury Crystal Power, make UP!" Ami said. Rei held up her hand. "Hold on. We're wasting valuable time as it is. Let's just cut to the battle scene and get it over with."
And so they did.
***
"Hold it right there!" Sailor Moon yelled. "I'm Sailor Moon! I make corny speeches and crap! Be afraid, be very afraid!"
"I'm Sailor Mercury! I have an IQ of 300! I will out-think you to death!"
"I'm Sailor Mars! And I'm not a pyro!"
"I'm Sailor Jupiter! These speeches are stupid!"
"I'm Sailor Venus! I kinda like 'em!"
"I'm Sailor Uranus! Blahdy blahdy blah!"
"I'm Sailor Neptune! What she said!"
"I'm Sailor Pluto! I am so wasted
"I'm Sailor Saturn! These speeches are beginning to really deteriorate! The next time we do this, I'm getting a writer! We're the Sailor Senshi, and we will punish you!"
The youma was hardly impressed. "You're right, those speeches do kinda suck. You need something new."
"Sailor Star Fighter!"
"Sailor Star Healer!"
"Sailor Star Maker!"
"Stage on!"
Richard Simmons/Steven Tyler grimaced. "Not you three again!" He rubbed his arm where they had kicked him. "Stupid strippers."
"WE'RE NOT STRIPPERS!" the StarLights screamed.
"Wow, those leather numbers are really something, eh, Michiru?" Uranus asked, nudging her partner in the ribs.
"Haruka, not in front of the children!" Neptune hissed.
"We're only a year younger than you!"
Richard Simmons/Steven Tyler rubbed his head. "Would you all please just shut up? I'm getting a headache, and I can't sing if the guitar rifts get too loud."
"Senshi huddle!" Sailor Moon yelled, and the senshi got into a circle. "What say we have some fun with him?" she suggested. "You know, let him think he's winning for a while."
"Sounds good to me," Mars agreed.
"Let's do it," the senshi said.
But as they turned around, the three leather-clad senshi were aiming at Simmons/Tyler. "Star Serious Laser!" Sailor Star Fighter exclaimed.
"Are you kidding me?" the youma asked with a smirk.
"I said serious, dammit!"
"Star Sensitive Inferno!" Sailor Star Healer yelled.
"There's something not right about that," Simmons/Tyler said, scratching his curly-haired head.
"That's practically an oxymoron," Mercury said.
"Star Gentle Uterus!"
Simmons/Tyler and the senshi all fell down laughing. (Uterus. Tee hee.) But as Simmons/Tyler hit the pavement, all three attacks hit him, and he went poof. All rejoiced. ("Yay.")
"Hold it one cotton-pickin' minute," Sailor Moon said, giving the Starlights one nasty look, "I thought we agreed to play around with this loser!"
"Did we take part in your stupid little huddle?" Star Healer sneered. "I think not."
"Chill, Healer," Star Fighter said, looking all hearty-eyed at Sailor Moon. "She's kinda cute."
"Ew!" Sailor Moon shrieked. "Ew, ew, ew!"
"Hey, I thought you were all for girl-girl things," Neptune said, confused. Uranus glared at Sailor Moon.
"I am," she replied. "Just not with me *in* them."
Sweatdrop.
"After all, I've got Mamo-chan."
Sweatdrop number two.
"Speaking of which, where is Tuxedo Kamen-sama?" Mercury wondered aloud. "When was the last time he showed up?" The senshi were bemused. So was the author. They scrolled down the pages.
"Not since chapter four," Mars said. "Mysterious that he disappears and all, right when these leather-clad senshi show up."
"Come on now," Jupiter said, feeling that she didn't have nearly enough good lines. "Is it really that mysterious?"
"Speaking of peculiar, what happened to Chibi Chibi?" Star Maker asked. No one knew.
***
"Chibi," Chibi Chibi said, resting comfortably in front of the TV.
"How kawaii!" Tsukino Ikuko squealed, and fetched Chibi Chibi some more cookies.
***FIN***
***
Another youma attacked the fair city of Tokyo. That was to be expected, as according to the Sailormoon universe, no other city in the world exists. Not even Boston. Harvard just kinda floats there in space.
Anyway...this time, the youma was a cross between Richard Simmons and Steven Tyler. "I will make you sweat to the oldies!" he declared to the city. "My oldies. Let me begin with a number I like to call 'I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing'. I could stay awake, just to HEAR you breathing..."
"NOOO!!!" People started yelling and covering their ears, falling to their knees in agony.
"We should stop this guy," Taiki said.
"Yeah, we really should," Yaten agreed.
"Hai," Seiya sighed. "We should."
None of them moved. The screaming continued.
"Damn, this isn't getting any better," Taiki said.
"Nope, it really isn't," Yaten agreed.
"Iie," Seiya sighed. "It isn't."
None of them moved. Richard Simmons/Steven Tyler, who had no real name, started to do leg lifts. "Come on now, let's burn some fat!" he shouted.
"Now it's getting downright idiotic," Taiki said.
"Yeah, really idiotic," Yaten agreed.
"Hai," Seiya sighed. "Idiotic."
None of them moved. Suddenly the youma jumped up and attacked the café the Lights were sitting in. "I could stay awake, just to HEAR you breathing..." he crooned.
"Dammit!" Seiya yelled. "It's one thing for him to be annoying and idiotic. But it's another thing for him to be annoying and idiotic within close proximity! Minna, henshin yo!"
"Do we have to?" Taiki whined. Yaten rolled his eyes.
"I said, MINNA, HENSHIN YO!" Seiya yelled, getting all flamy-eyed like anime characters do.
"Eep!" Taiki yelped. "Okay. Maker Star Power, make UP!"
"Healer Star Power, make UP!" exclaimed Yaten.
"Fighter Star Power, make UP!" exclaimed Seiya.
They ran up to the youma. "Triple Sailor KICK!" was their cry, knocking the rather plump youma over.
"Who are you?" Richard Simmons/Steven Tyler asked.
"Sailor Star Fighter!"
"Sailor Star Healer!"
"Sailor Star Maker!"
"Stage on!"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
***
"Minna, I'm sensing something," Rei said.
"Me too," Michiru said.
"Let's go then," Usagi said. "Minna, henshin yo!"
"Mercury Crystal Power, make UP!" Ami said. Rei held up her hand. "Hold on. We're wasting valuable time as it is. Let's just cut to the battle scene and get it over with."
And so they did.
***
"Hold it right there!" Sailor Moon yelled. "I'm Sailor Moon! I make corny speeches and crap! Be afraid, be very afraid!"
"I'm Sailor Mercury! I have an IQ of 300! I will out-think you to death!"
"I'm Sailor Mars! And I'm not a pyro!"
"I'm Sailor Jupiter! These speeches are stupid!"
"I'm Sailor Venus! I kinda like 'em!"
"I'm Sailor Uranus! Blahdy blahdy blah!"
"I'm Sailor Neptune! What she said!"
"I'm Sailor Pluto! I am so wasted
"I'm Sailor Saturn! These speeches are beginning to really deteriorate! The next time we do this, I'm getting a writer! We're the Sailor Senshi, and we will punish you!"
The youma was hardly impressed. "You're right, those speeches do kinda suck. You need something new."
"Sailor Star Fighter!"
"Sailor Star Healer!"
"Sailor Star Maker!"
"Stage on!"
Richard Simmons/Steven Tyler grimaced. "Not you three again!" He rubbed his arm where they had kicked him. "Stupid strippers."
"WE'RE NOT STRIPPERS!" the StarLights screamed.
"Wow, those leather numbers are really something, eh, Michiru?" Uranus asked, nudging her partner in the ribs.
"Haruka, not in front of the children!" Neptune hissed.
"We're only a year younger than you!"
Richard Simmons/Steven Tyler rubbed his head. "Would you all please just shut up? I'm getting a headache, and I can't sing if the guitar rifts get too loud."
"Senshi huddle!" Sailor Moon yelled, and the senshi got into a circle. "What say we have some fun with him?" she suggested. "You know, let him think he's winning for a while."
"Sounds good to me," Mars agreed.
"Let's do it," the senshi said.
But as they turned around, the three leather-clad senshi were aiming at Simmons/Tyler. "Star Serious Laser!" Sailor Star Fighter exclaimed.
"Are you kidding me?" the youma asked with a smirk.
"I said serious, dammit!"
"Star Sensitive Inferno!" Sailor Star Healer yelled.
"There's something not right about that," Simmons/Tyler said, scratching his curly-haired head.
"That's practically an oxymoron," Mercury said.
"Star Gentle Uterus!"
Simmons/Tyler and the senshi all fell down laughing. (Uterus. Tee hee.) But as Simmons/Tyler hit the pavement, all three attacks hit him, and he went poof. All rejoiced. ("Yay.")
"Hold it one cotton-pickin' minute," Sailor Moon said, giving the Starlights one nasty look, "I thought we agreed to play around with this loser!"
"Did we take part in your stupid little huddle?" Star Healer sneered. "I think not."
"Chill, Healer," Star Fighter said, looking all hearty-eyed at Sailor Moon. "She's kinda cute."
"Ew!" Sailor Moon shrieked. "Ew, ew, ew!"
"Hey, I thought you were all for girl-girl things," Neptune said, confused. Uranus glared at Sailor Moon.
"I am," she replied. "Just not with me *in* them."
Sweatdrop.
"After all, I've got Mamo-chan."
Sweatdrop number two.
"Speaking of which, where is Tuxedo Kamen-sama?" Mercury wondered aloud. "When was the last time he showed up?" The senshi were bemused. So was the author. They scrolled down the pages.
"Not since chapter four," Mars said. "Mysterious that he disappears and all, right when these leather-clad senshi show up."
"Come on now," Jupiter said, feeling that she didn't have nearly enough good lines. "Is it really that mysterious?"
"Speaking of peculiar, what happened to Chibi Chibi?" Star Maker asked. No one knew.
***
"Chibi," Chibi Chibi said, resting comfortably in front of the TV.
"How kawaii!" Tsukino Ikuko squealed, and fetched Chibi Chibi some more cookies.
***FIN***