I am sorry, but the notion of this fic just kept bothering me until I wrote it. Flames are recommended. SEND THEM TO MEEEEE!!
Thrusters and Hose Lengtheners
By Nijino Aya
Fred Luo sat in his office, being the Fred Luo we all know and love. Lackey number one, who we'll call Bob, was painting Fred's finger nails, while lackey number two, we'll call him Steve, was massaging Fred's feet.
"My, this is just so nice!" Fred exclaimed.
As Fred began to eat his lunch of hardboiled eggs and string cheese, the door to his office opened and in stepped a teenaged boy, who we'll just call Todd Tolansky because, well, he IS Todd Tolansky. ^_^()
"Oh, my!" Fred exclaimed. "And how are you? Welcome to Fred's!" *GLOMP*
"Yo, man, this is just whack. Get off me," Todd complained.
"But now why would I want to do that?" Fred asked, looking genuinely confused. "Won't you be my 'special friend'?"
Fred gave Todd his best "I am a sad puppy. Do what I say," look.
"Uhh, no man. Yo. And get offa me!" Todd said, trying to pry himself out of the flamboyant one's hug.
As if on cue, our hero and savior, Gene Starwind made his grand entrance. "Fred, I nee-" Gene began, but was interrupted by the sight of Fred Luo trying to grope a struggling Todd Tolansky. "Well, I'll be, uh, going now. Don't want to interrupt you two!"
Gene sweat dropped and tried to make it to the door, but…
"Oh, GENE!!"
*GLOMP*
"Oh, how are you Gene?! I've missed you sooooo much! All those lonely days and nights…"
"I was only just here this morning," Gene sighed, rolling his eyes.
Taking advantage of the distraction, Todd got up and tiptoed towards the door. But, alas, Fred is smarter than he looks (or acts -_-;;;) and was able, while still glomping/groping Gene, to snake his leg around Gene and catch Todd, who was pulled into the giant glomp.
"Wow!" Fred exclaimed. "Now I have TWO 'special friends'!"
"Um, Fred? Let go of me. And why are you speaking in FUNimation lingo? They didn't even dub Outlaw Star…"
"Yo. Man. This. Is. Whack. Yo!!"
As Fred proceeded to drag his two "special friends" into the "back room", the main door to his office opened. Freddy J. Dukes (can't forget the J!) stepped in… or rather squeezed in, due to his, um, large condition.
"Oh. Welcome to Fred's," Fred Luo said, rather annoyed at the interruption.
"Uhh… Toad? Can we, ummm, go now?" Freddy said. (A/N: F. Luo will be called Fred. F. Dukes will be called Freddy. Got it?)
"NO!!" Fred exclaimed. "He's busy being my 'special friend'!"
"Hey!" Freddy shouted, his face growing red. "No one talks to Freddy J. Dukes like that!"
"Your name is Fred also?"
"Yah…"
"Wow! So is mine!" Fred said gleefully. "Oh, I forgot to ask," he said, turning to a suffocating Gene. " What did you need today?"
"Caht beeth!!" Gene choked, turning purple.
"Ooops!" Fred sweat dropped, releasing Gene.
"Thrusters. For the Outlaw Star." Gene said, finally able to breathe.
"Oh, Gene, honey! Such boldness! Oh, I can supply you with the best thrusters you'll ever have!" Fred purred.
"NOT *THOSE* KIND OF THRUSTERS!!!"
With that said, Freddy got hungry and left in search of some food, but only to have Lance and Pietro walk in. "C'mon, Toad, we gotta go, man!" Lance grumbled.
"Oooo!" Fred exclaimed at the sight of the two new customers. "Can I 'help' you?"
"Yeah," Lance said, staring at the odd way the two guys and Todd were, umm, situated when he came in. "We need hose extensions for the plane we stole."
"Oh, honey," Fred cooed, looking, um, *there* on Lance. "You don't *NEED* any hose lengtheners!" *GLOMP*
"Hey!" Pietro exclaimed. "Get off my man!"
"Huh?" Fred asked, and then looked at Pietro. "Oh, my! Aren't you pretty!"
Pietro blinked. "Really?! You think so? I know I AM gorgeous!"
Gene, Todd, and Lance slowly backed away.
"Oh, and isn't my ass nice?" Pietro asked, twisting around to look at his backside.
Fred knelt down to get a better look at Pietro's fine bum. "Oh, yes! Its such a nice ass you have!"
Gene looked like he was going to die, Todd looked like he was going to throw up, and Lance looked extremely jealous. With that, pulled the three unwilling ones towards the 'back room', and Pietro followed, bouncing along happily.
At that moment, a loud crash was heard. Fred turned around to see Twilight Suzuka posed with her bokken at the door. "Fred Luo, I have come to kill you!"
"Why?!" Fred yelped, hiding behind Lance.
"For stealing my fiancé!" she declared.
Fred looked over at Gene. "Its not me, Fred!" Gene sweat dropped.
"SUZUKA!! Save me darling!!!"
Everyone stopped, and looked at the one who screamed. "TODD?!"
"Yes," Suzuka declared. "We have been engaged for six months, and now Fred is stealing him from me!"
It was then that the room's occupants noticed someone behind Suzuka. She turned around.
"It's the blue fuzzy gecko!!" Todd exclaimed.
"Toad, Avalanche, Quicksilver! You have our jet!" Kurt exclaimed. "Give it-" Kurt was promptly cut off by Suzuka glomping him, very un-Suzuka-like.
"You're much cuter that Todd!" She exclaimed. "The wedding's off, Todd, I'm marrying this guy!" At that, she dragged blue-boy down the hall.
"Well, now that that, hmm, odd, interruption is over," Fred smiled, pushing Gene, Lance, and Todd towards the "back room", with Pietro skipping along, "Let me go get you those Thrusters and Hose Lengtheners!"
Fin
A/N-This has GOT to be THE worse piece of crap ANYONE has ever written. But as I said, this idea had been bothering me, so I couldn't help it. I promise my next fic will be decent, or at least halfway decent. KILL ME NOW. Give me flames. They taste like… Lance!! Ha! You thought I was going to say chicken! MWHAHAHA! Lance tastes like your flames! Your flames taste like Lance! What the!?
Lance: ::kills Aya with a…well, a rock! What did you expect from Lance!:: THANK GOD SHE'S DEAD!!!
Thrusters and Hose Lengtheners
By Nijino Aya
Fred Luo sat in his office, being the Fred Luo we all know and love. Lackey number one, who we'll call Bob, was painting Fred's finger nails, while lackey number two, we'll call him Steve, was massaging Fred's feet.
"My, this is just so nice!" Fred exclaimed.
As Fred began to eat his lunch of hardboiled eggs and string cheese, the door to his office opened and in stepped a teenaged boy, who we'll just call Todd Tolansky because, well, he IS Todd Tolansky. ^_^()
"Oh, my!" Fred exclaimed. "And how are you? Welcome to Fred's!" *GLOMP*
"Yo, man, this is just whack. Get off me," Todd complained.
"But now why would I want to do that?" Fred asked, looking genuinely confused. "Won't you be my 'special friend'?"
Fred gave Todd his best "I am a sad puppy. Do what I say," look.
"Uhh, no man. Yo. And get offa me!" Todd said, trying to pry himself out of the flamboyant one's hug.
As if on cue, our hero and savior, Gene Starwind made his grand entrance. "Fred, I nee-" Gene began, but was interrupted by the sight of Fred Luo trying to grope a struggling Todd Tolansky. "Well, I'll be, uh, going now. Don't want to interrupt you two!"
Gene sweat dropped and tried to make it to the door, but…
"Oh, GENE!!"
*GLOMP*
"Oh, how are you Gene?! I've missed you sooooo much! All those lonely days and nights…"
"I was only just here this morning," Gene sighed, rolling his eyes.
Taking advantage of the distraction, Todd got up and tiptoed towards the door. But, alas, Fred is smarter than he looks (or acts -_-;;;) and was able, while still glomping/groping Gene, to snake his leg around Gene and catch Todd, who was pulled into the giant glomp.
"Wow!" Fred exclaimed. "Now I have TWO 'special friends'!"
"Um, Fred? Let go of me. And why are you speaking in FUNimation lingo? They didn't even dub Outlaw Star…"
"Yo. Man. This. Is. Whack. Yo!!"
As Fred proceeded to drag his two "special friends" into the "back room", the main door to his office opened. Freddy J. Dukes (can't forget the J!) stepped in… or rather squeezed in, due to his, um, large condition.
"Oh. Welcome to Fred's," Fred Luo said, rather annoyed at the interruption.
"Uhh… Toad? Can we, ummm, go now?" Freddy said. (A/N: F. Luo will be called Fred. F. Dukes will be called Freddy. Got it?)
"NO!!" Fred exclaimed. "He's busy being my 'special friend'!"
"Hey!" Freddy shouted, his face growing red. "No one talks to Freddy J. Dukes like that!"
"Your name is Fred also?"
"Yah…"
"Wow! So is mine!" Fred said gleefully. "Oh, I forgot to ask," he said, turning to a suffocating Gene. " What did you need today?"
"Caht beeth!!" Gene choked, turning purple.
"Ooops!" Fred sweat dropped, releasing Gene.
"Thrusters. For the Outlaw Star." Gene said, finally able to breathe.
"Oh, Gene, honey! Such boldness! Oh, I can supply you with the best thrusters you'll ever have!" Fred purred.
"NOT *THOSE* KIND OF THRUSTERS!!!"
With that said, Freddy got hungry and left in search of some food, but only to have Lance and Pietro walk in. "C'mon, Toad, we gotta go, man!" Lance grumbled.
"Oooo!" Fred exclaimed at the sight of the two new customers. "Can I 'help' you?"
"Yeah," Lance said, staring at the odd way the two guys and Todd were, umm, situated when he came in. "We need hose extensions for the plane we stole."
"Oh, honey," Fred cooed, looking, um, *there* on Lance. "You don't *NEED* any hose lengtheners!" *GLOMP*
"Hey!" Pietro exclaimed. "Get off my man!"
"Huh?" Fred asked, and then looked at Pietro. "Oh, my! Aren't you pretty!"
Pietro blinked. "Really?! You think so? I know I AM gorgeous!"
Gene, Todd, and Lance slowly backed away.
"Oh, and isn't my ass nice?" Pietro asked, twisting around to look at his backside.
Fred knelt down to get a better look at Pietro's fine bum. "Oh, yes! Its such a nice ass you have!"
Gene looked like he was going to die, Todd looked like he was going to throw up, and Lance looked extremely jealous. With that, pulled the three unwilling ones towards the 'back room', and Pietro followed, bouncing along happily.
At that moment, a loud crash was heard. Fred turned around to see Twilight Suzuka posed with her bokken at the door. "Fred Luo, I have come to kill you!"
"Why?!" Fred yelped, hiding behind Lance.
"For stealing my fiancé!" she declared.
Fred looked over at Gene. "Its not me, Fred!" Gene sweat dropped.
"SUZUKA!! Save me darling!!!"
Everyone stopped, and looked at the one who screamed. "TODD?!"
"Yes," Suzuka declared. "We have been engaged for six months, and now Fred is stealing him from me!"
It was then that the room's occupants noticed someone behind Suzuka. She turned around.
"It's the blue fuzzy gecko!!" Todd exclaimed.
"Toad, Avalanche, Quicksilver! You have our jet!" Kurt exclaimed. "Give it-" Kurt was promptly cut off by Suzuka glomping him, very un-Suzuka-like.
"You're much cuter that Todd!" She exclaimed. "The wedding's off, Todd, I'm marrying this guy!" At that, she dragged blue-boy down the hall.
"Well, now that that, hmm, odd, interruption is over," Fred smiled, pushing Gene, Lance, and Todd towards the "back room", with Pietro skipping along, "Let me go get you those Thrusters and Hose Lengtheners!"
Fin
A/N-This has GOT to be THE worse piece of crap ANYONE has ever written. But as I said, this idea had been bothering me, so I couldn't help it. I promise my next fic will be decent, or at least halfway decent. KILL ME NOW. Give me flames. They taste like… Lance!! Ha! You thought I was going to say chicken! MWHAHAHA! Lance tastes like your flames! Your flames taste like Lance! What the!?
Lance: ::kills Aya with a…well, a rock! What did you expect from Lance!:: THANK GOD SHE'S DEAD!!!