Completely randomly: On this school trip to Quebec, we went to this place called the Sugar Shack for dinner, and there were these guys playing a guitar and an accordian, and the patrons played the spoons. And they made us do the Macarena, this weird Canadian accordian version, which I was kinda getting into 'cept for the fact that it went on for ten minutes, seriously. Then, on the bus ride back to the hotel, this guy all grabs the tour guide's microphone and starts karaoking to Right-Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy". It was pretty funny.
Disclaimer: I don't own any anime or cartoon characters or real people that might be mentioned. I own original characters, hence the use of the term 'original'. Don't take them without permission, please. I know you wouldn't want to, but I kinda like them and want to keep them in good condition.
^.^v NeoVenus22 [NeoVenus22@yahoo.com]
***
Midnight. The park. Why must the senshi always meet in a park or fight in a park or whatever in a park? Crazy man, it's crazy.
"Hey, funny lookin' guy!" Uranus shouted. "We're here!"
"Shut up!" Duhite said, popping out from behind a tree. His Burger Bob's apron flapped in the breeze. "I am Duhite, general of the Evil Mastermind Guy, the one who created all of those youmas."
"The ones we defeated?" Venus whispered to Jupiter.
"I'm guessing so," Jupiter replied.
"They sucked," Venus said.
"Shut up!" Duhite cried. "Why must you pick on me so?"
"Um...'cause you're a loser?" Uranus guessed.
"Doesn't matter," Neptune said. "It's that time again."
"Yea!" the senshi chorused. "Speeches!"
"Hiya! I'm Sailor Moon, champion of perkiness! I fight for love, justice, and anything cute. Like puppies!" She giggled inanely. "Anyway, I meet up to all blond stereotypes and then some!"
"I'm Sailor Mars, with a fiery spirit and the scorch marks to prove it! And I'll bet a month's royalties off the Sailor Moon series that you turn and run home to mommy before I even finish my first attack!"
"I'm Sailor Mercury, with an IQ of 300! I will out-think you, but that's about it, because I have almost no strength and virtually no powers! If worst comes to worst, I can thwack you upside the head with this really heavy textbook!"
"I am Sailor Jupiter! Zaaaaaaaa!"
"You may know me as the incredible warrior of justice, Sailor V! But the solo scene really isn't my thing, so I joined up with these guys and became the babe you see before you now, Sailor Venus! And there's a quick summary of the series! I think."
"I am Sailor Saturn, the age-challenged chick with the really big, sharp stick! Hee hee, I made a rhyme! Butterfly!"
"I am Sailor Uranus, senshi of the wind and the sky! Hey...I wonder if I can fly. That would be totally cool." She wandered off into the distance, muttering weirdly to herself.
"Samishikatta dake desu. Naita riyuu wa sore dake. Demo yoku aru koto desu. Hitori kiri sanetaku nai," Sailor Neptune sang. "Haunted Junction is the coolest anime!"
"Gaa!" Evil Mastermind Guy said. "I hate shameless plugs."
"Can't it only be a shameless plug if the person is in some way connected with said show and/or product?" Mercury pointed out.
"Whatever," EMG scoffed.
"Okay, will it make you happy if I change my speech?" Sailor Neptune said with a bored and irritated look.
"It wasn't really a speech to begin with, but okay."
"I'm Sailor Neptune, the mighty! Feel the wrath of my big-ass wave! Yee hah hoo!"
"Is that a word?" Evil Mastermind Guy wondered under his breath, but decided not to pursue it because he didn't really want to feel the wrath of her big-ass wave. I mean, who does?
"I'm Sailor Pluto. I can see the future, and you're not in it, pal! Or maybe you are. I should stop sneaking peeks at the timeline when I'm drunk."
"Is that all of us?" Sailor Moon asked.
"Unless you count those weird stripper chicks, yeah," Mars volunteered.
"WE'RE NOT STRIPPERS!!"
"Sailor Star Fighter!"
"Sailor Star Healer!"
"And Sailor Star Maker!"
"Stage on!"
"GET A NEW DAMN SPEECH!" Eternal Sailor Moon, Super Sailor Mercury, Super Sailor Mars, Super Sailor Jupiter, Super Sailor Venus, Super Sailor Uranus, Super Sailor Neptune, Super Sailor Pluto, Super Sailor Saturn, Tuxedo Kamen, Luna, Artemis, Duhite, and Evil Mastermind guy, who wasn't even supposed to be there, shouted.
The Starlights crept off into the shadows to cry.
"Well, that's all of us!" Sailor Moon chirped. "Are you ready to eat asphault, pizza face?"
Duhite started crying.
"Minna!" Luna shouted. "I thought of a way to defeat him without getting all tired and sweaty and stuff. Tease him mercilessly, like you're in grade school!"
"Pizza face!" Sailor Moon repeated.
"What a loser," Mars said. "A cockroach is smarter than you."
"You're a fashion disaster," Venus sneered.
"Idiot," was the worst thing Mercury could come up with.
"You're so flat-chested," Uranus said.
The senshi gave her weird looks and she sweatdropped. "Sorry. I thought we were talking about Usagi."
Sailor Moon made a face.
"You're a complete loser!" Jupiter said.
"Loser!" Neptune chimed in.
"You couldn't defeat George W. 'W' Bush," Saturn said. Everyone just gave her weird looks.
"Even when I'm friggin' drunk I think you're a loser," Pluto said. "Drunk, sober, you're a boob either way."
Duhite was wailing uncontrollably now. "Forget this. I'm going home." And he left.
"Damn!" Evil Mastermind Guy said. "Oh, sorry. Didn't see you readers there. I meant, uh, what I meant was...darn. Yeah, that's it."
"Um, we're not being dubbed anymore," a voice pointed out. Who cares who it belongs to? They're not in the series, so it doesn't matter.
"Damn. Why doesn't anyone tell me these things?"
"Didn't you get the memo?"
"Wha?"
"The memo. Wait a minute. Weren't you there?"
"Where?"
The voice sighed. "Screw it. Nothing is worth this much trouble. Cut to the next segment."
***
Evil Mastermind Guy was hatching an evil plot, a process that involved nest-making and a dang lot of sitting. Finally he sat down in front of his computer and launched his grand master plan. Devious, isn't it?
***
Ami and Minako were sitting at Ami's laptop, surfing the web. Minako, predictibly, was in a wet suit. Suddenly (shocked you, didn't I?), an electronic voice spitted out "You Got Mail."
"Tom Hanks is here?" Minako asked for no apparent reason.
Ami opened up the little box thingy, and gasped in horror. "Call the other senshi! This is an emergency!"
The other senshi arrived and transformed, but you don't get to witness any of that. Sorry. "What's the big emergency, Mercury-chan?" Jupiter asked.
"An e-mail," Mercury said.
"Big frickin' deal," Uranus scoffed.
Mercury shook her head. "From an AOL address."
"Gaa!" the senshi shouted. "Destroy it! Destroy it!"
"It's a chain letter," Mercury reported.
"DESTROY IT! DESTROY IT!"
"Deep...SUBMERGE!" Neptune yelled, causing a mass wave to destroy the computer, the hated e-mail, and many AOL addresses in the process. As Jackie Chan once put it, "Now ask me if I give a shit."
***FIN***
Disclaimer: I don't own any anime or cartoon characters or real people that might be mentioned. I own original characters, hence the use of the term 'original'. Don't take them without permission, please. I know you wouldn't want to, but I kinda like them and want to keep them in good condition.
^.^v NeoVenus22 [NeoVenus22@yahoo.com]
***
Midnight. The park. Why must the senshi always meet in a park or fight in a park or whatever in a park? Crazy man, it's crazy.
"Hey, funny lookin' guy!" Uranus shouted. "We're here!"
"Shut up!" Duhite said, popping out from behind a tree. His Burger Bob's apron flapped in the breeze. "I am Duhite, general of the Evil Mastermind Guy, the one who created all of those youmas."
"The ones we defeated?" Venus whispered to Jupiter.
"I'm guessing so," Jupiter replied.
"They sucked," Venus said.
"Shut up!" Duhite cried. "Why must you pick on me so?"
"Um...'cause you're a loser?" Uranus guessed.
"Doesn't matter," Neptune said. "It's that time again."
"Yea!" the senshi chorused. "Speeches!"
"Hiya! I'm Sailor Moon, champion of perkiness! I fight for love, justice, and anything cute. Like puppies!" She giggled inanely. "Anyway, I meet up to all blond stereotypes and then some!"
"I'm Sailor Mars, with a fiery spirit and the scorch marks to prove it! And I'll bet a month's royalties off the Sailor Moon series that you turn and run home to mommy before I even finish my first attack!"
"I'm Sailor Mercury, with an IQ of 300! I will out-think you, but that's about it, because I have almost no strength and virtually no powers! If worst comes to worst, I can thwack you upside the head with this really heavy textbook!"
"I am Sailor Jupiter! Zaaaaaaaa!"
"You may know me as the incredible warrior of justice, Sailor V! But the solo scene really isn't my thing, so I joined up with these guys and became the babe you see before you now, Sailor Venus! And there's a quick summary of the series! I think."
"I am Sailor Saturn, the age-challenged chick with the really big, sharp stick! Hee hee, I made a rhyme! Butterfly!"
"I am Sailor Uranus, senshi of the wind and the sky! Hey...I wonder if I can fly. That would be totally cool." She wandered off into the distance, muttering weirdly to herself.
"Samishikatta dake desu. Naita riyuu wa sore dake. Demo yoku aru koto desu. Hitori kiri sanetaku nai," Sailor Neptune sang. "Haunted Junction is the coolest anime!"
"Gaa!" Evil Mastermind Guy said. "I hate shameless plugs."
"Can't it only be a shameless plug if the person is in some way connected with said show and/or product?" Mercury pointed out.
"Whatever," EMG scoffed.
"Okay, will it make you happy if I change my speech?" Sailor Neptune said with a bored and irritated look.
"It wasn't really a speech to begin with, but okay."
"I'm Sailor Neptune, the mighty! Feel the wrath of my big-ass wave! Yee hah hoo!"
"Is that a word?" Evil Mastermind Guy wondered under his breath, but decided not to pursue it because he didn't really want to feel the wrath of her big-ass wave. I mean, who does?
"I'm Sailor Pluto. I can see the future, and you're not in it, pal! Or maybe you are. I should stop sneaking peeks at the timeline when I'm drunk."
"Is that all of us?" Sailor Moon asked.
"Unless you count those weird stripper chicks, yeah," Mars volunteered.
"WE'RE NOT STRIPPERS!!"
"Sailor Star Fighter!"
"Sailor Star Healer!"
"And Sailor Star Maker!"
"Stage on!"
"GET A NEW DAMN SPEECH!" Eternal Sailor Moon, Super Sailor Mercury, Super Sailor Mars, Super Sailor Jupiter, Super Sailor Venus, Super Sailor Uranus, Super Sailor Neptune, Super Sailor Pluto, Super Sailor Saturn, Tuxedo Kamen, Luna, Artemis, Duhite, and Evil Mastermind guy, who wasn't even supposed to be there, shouted.
The Starlights crept off into the shadows to cry.
"Well, that's all of us!" Sailor Moon chirped. "Are you ready to eat asphault, pizza face?"
Duhite started crying.
"Minna!" Luna shouted. "I thought of a way to defeat him without getting all tired and sweaty and stuff. Tease him mercilessly, like you're in grade school!"
"Pizza face!" Sailor Moon repeated.
"What a loser," Mars said. "A cockroach is smarter than you."
"You're a fashion disaster," Venus sneered.
"Idiot," was the worst thing Mercury could come up with.
"You're so flat-chested," Uranus said.
The senshi gave her weird looks and she sweatdropped. "Sorry. I thought we were talking about Usagi."
Sailor Moon made a face.
"You're a complete loser!" Jupiter said.
"Loser!" Neptune chimed in.
"You couldn't defeat George W. 'W' Bush," Saturn said. Everyone just gave her weird looks.
"Even when I'm friggin' drunk I think you're a loser," Pluto said. "Drunk, sober, you're a boob either way."
Duhite was wailing uncontrollably now. "Forget this. I'm going home." And he left.
"Damn!" Evil Mastermind Guy said. "Oh, sorry. Didn't see you readers there. I meant, uh, what I meant was...darn. Yeah, that's it."
"Um, we're not being dubbed anymore," a voice pointed out. Who cares who it belongs to? They're not in the series, so it doesn't matter.
"Damn. Why doesn't anyone tell me these things?"
"Didn't you get the memo?"
"Wha?"
"The memo. Wait a minute. Weren't you there?"
"Where?"
The voice sighed. "Screw it. Nothing is worth this much trouble. Cut to the next segment."
***
Evil Mastermind Guy was hatching an evil plot, a process that involved nest-making and a dang lot of sitting. Finally he sat down in front of his computer and launched his grand master plan. Devious, isn't it?
***
Ami and Minako were sitting at Ami's laptop, surfing the web. Minako, predictibly, was in a wet suit. Suddenly (shocked you, didn't I?), an electronic voice spitted out "You Got Mail."
"Tom Hanks is here?" Minako asked for no apparent reason.
Ami opened up the little box thingy, and gasped in horror. "Call the other senshi! This is an emergency!"
The other senshi arrived and transformed, but you don't get to witness any of that. Sorry. "What's the big emergency, Mercury-chan?" Jupiter asked.
"An e-mail," Mercury said.
"Big frickin' deal," Uranus scoffed.
Mercury shook her head. "From an AOL address."
"Gaa!" the senshi shouted. "Destroy it! Destroy it!"
"It's a chain letter," Mercury reported.
"DESTROY IT! DESTROY IT!"
"Deep...SUBMERGE!" Neptune yelled, causing a mass wave to destroy the computer, the hated e-mail, and many AOL addresses in the process. As Jackie Chan once put it, "Now ask me if I give a shit."
***FIN***