Heyza. I don't have any opening notes. I'm sure you like it that way. R/R. ~NV22~
***
Evil Mastermind Guy, as is in the Villian Bylaws, was planning a last-ditch attempt to destroy the Sailors before he had to do it himself.
"Uh-huh, that's right. Just for a day or maybe two, if I wanna hold a party," he said into his cell phone. "Yeah, that's good. Thanks, Lou. I owe ya one. Next time you need a hip new bunch of guys for a boy band, I'll send you a few henchmen."
***
Mysterious, isn't it? Well, not really. Cut to the next segment, and it's all good.
***
Five guys showed up in the park where Haruka, Usagi, Rei, Minako, Makoto, Ami, and Setsuna just happened to be. I don't need to make excuses for Michiru, Hotaru, and Chibi Chibi. Make it up your own damn selves. I didn't need them, so they ain't here.
The guys started dancing and singing. Sandwiches dropped, as did jaws. The senshi transformed, if only for the purpose of attracting the guys with short skirts.
"It ain't no lie...baby, bye, bye, bye!" the five guys sang, and the senshi swooned.
"Ah! Pop music! They must be from Evil Mastermind Guy! We have to defeat them!" Uranus yelled. (She, of course, was not attracted to the guys.)
"Are you kidding? We can't defeat them!" Sailor Moon said, all hearty-eyed. "They're *NSYNC!"
"OH MY GOD!" Venus shrieked. "IT'S JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE! I LOVE YOU, JUSTIN!"
"Let me have your baby, Justin!" Jupiter yelled.
"I love you, Lance!" Sailor Mars shouted. "Marry me!"
Yaten popped up out of nowhere. "What about me?" But no one heard him.
Sailor Mercury just jumped up and down, screaming "Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey!" at the top of her lungs.
"I can't take this teenybopperness!" Uranus yelled. "They must be destroyed! You with me on this, Pluto?"
"Ooh, that JC is so gorgeous," Pluto said. "Do you think he likes older women?"
"News flash! You're a few eons older, not a few years!" Uranus groaned and shook her head. "I don't believe this. Okay, that does it. We're shedding some pretty boy blood. World--"
"NO!!" Sailor Moon shrieked, diving in front of the band.
"What the hell are you doing?" Uranus said.
"You can't kill the five hottest guys in the music business!" Sailor Moon protested. "It's unethical!"
"They're evil!" Uranus said, throwing up her hands.
Sailor Moon threw herself at Justin. "IT'S JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!" she shrieked. "JUSTIN FRICKIN' TIMBERLAKE!"
"YOU CAN'T HAVE JUSTIN, HE'S MINE!" Venus yelled, lunging for Justin.
"Ha ha ha," Evil Mastemind Guy said in his most diabolical voice, popping up unseen for no apparent reason other than to fill us in. "Finally, I have thought of the perfect way to destroy the Sailor Senshi! Little do they know that while the boys of *NSYNC fill the air with their number one hits, they are releasing powerful voices that hit high notes that will eventually crack the overhanging satellite, which will fall down and crush the swooning Sailor Senshi! And they are powerless to stop it! Mwa ha ha ha!" And then he was gone.
Um...yeah. Now how is that diabolically evil? Or even logical?
Anyways, we were watching the...er, I guess it isn't really a battle, is it? Whatever. Everyon'e favorite team of female panty-kicking superheroines with everyone's favorite team of gorgeous male pop superstars. This would make great TV. Someone call me a network exec!
Sailor Venus and Sailor Moon were fighting over Justin. "Girls, c'mon," Justin drawled, pulling the blond senshi apart. "There's plenty of Justin to go around."
Mercury was drooling over that Joey guy, who was commenting on their commonly unnatural haircolors. Yeah, intelligent conversation, my ass.
"Yeah, I'm eons old," Pluto was saying to JC, casually leaning against her Time Staff. "My life's been one of bitter resentment and jealousy...I'm in love with my future queen's husband. It's a bitch."
JC pulled out a pad and started scribbling notes. "That would make a great song!"
Sailor Mars was hanging all over that Lance weirdo, getting way touchy feely, talking about fire (of course). "Ohmigod, Lance, I, like, totally love you. Marry me!" Hmm. Well, she could have been talking about fire. It's not like it's never happened before.
That Chris guy was standing there in his pineapple hair, looking sad at getting completely ignored, as per usual.
Suddenly Carson Daly showed up. "And welcome back to TRL. We're on location...somewhere. Who cares? I get paid no matter where we are! At number one for the millionth straight week is *NSYNC's newest hit single, whatever the hell that may be."
Sailor Jupiter stood in front of the camera, looking bubbly and ditzy, as most TRL fans do. "I requested *NSYNC's 'It's Gonna Be Me,' because it's gonna be me marrying Justin!" she shrieked. "WOOOOOOOO!"
"BACK OFF!" Sailor Moon and Sailor Venus shouted silmontaneously. "JUSTIN'S MINE! I'M GONNA BE THE FUTURE MRS. TIMBERLAKE!!"
Jupiter, Venus, and Moon all started pushing each other around, while Justin watched with an amused smile.
"Crap!" Evil Mastermind Guy said. "This isn't working out at all like I'd hoped. Those stupid Sailor Senshi are seducing the *NSYNCers, and they're not singing!"
Well, no duh. Like we haven't already figured that out.
"Hey, Evil Mastermind Guy!" a guy in a suit, assuming the role of *NSYNC's manager, even though he wasn't really, said, coming in the room. (What room?) "This is unauthorized use of *NSYNC."
"Wha?" Evil Mastermind Guy said. "I got 'em through Lou!"
"You moron!" Suit Dude snapped. "Lou Pearlman isn't in charge of *NSYNC anymore. Don't you read papers? Don't you watch MTV? Nine-nine-ninety-nine? Big battle for the *NSYNC name? This is costing you major royalities to do this, buddy! I'm taking the guys!"
"We don't wanna leave!" the guys whined, enjoying the display of pretty girls in short skirts.
"Too bad," Suit Dude said, snapping his fingers. And the six of them were gone.
"Hey! I still need a boy band for the rest of the day!" Evil Mastermind Guy whined.
"Here, take these five," Suit Dude said as he disappeared. Five other guys showed up where *NSYNC had been.
"When I want it THAT way!" a fat blond guy was singing.
The senshi covered their ears. "Not the Backstreet Boys!" Sailor Moon wailed. "We have to destroy them!"
"It's about freakin' time," Uranus grumbled. "World Shaking!" A blast hit the five annoying guys, and they were dead. The world rejoiced.
***FIN***
***
Evil Mastermind Guy, as is in the Villian Bylaws, was planning a last-ditch attempt to destroy the Sailors before he had to do it himself.
"Uh-huh, that's right. Just for a day or maybe two, if I wanna hold a party," he said into his cell phone. "Yeah, that's good. Thanks, Lou. I owe ya one. Next time you need a hip new bunch of guys for a boy band, I'll send you a few henchmen."
***
Mysterious, isn't it? Well, not really. Cut to the next segment, and it's all good.
***
Five guys showed up in the park where Haruka, Usagi, Rei, Minako, Makoto, Ami, and Setsuna just happened to be. I don't need to make excuses for Michiru, Hotaru, and Chibi Chibi. Make it up your own damn selves. I didn't need them, so they ain't here.
The guys started dancing and singing. Sandwiches dropped, as did jaws. The senshi transformed, if only for the purpose of attracting the guys with short skirts.
"It ain't no lie...baby, bye, bye, bye!" the five guys sang, and the senshi swooned.
"Ah! Pop music! They must be from Evil Mastermind Guy! We have to defeat them!" Uranus yelled. (She, of course, was not attracted to the guys.)
"Are you kidding? We can't defeat them!" Sailor Moon said, all hearty-eyed. "They're *NSYNC!"
"OH MY GOD!" Venus shrieked. "IT'S JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE! I LOVE YOU, JUSTIN!"
"Let me have your baby, Justin!" Jupiter yelled.
"I love you, Lance!" Sailor Mars shouted. "Marry me!"
Yaten popped up out of nowhere. "What about me?" But no one heard him.
Sailor Mercury just jumped up and down, screaming "Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey!" at the top of her lungs.
"I can't take this teenybopperness!" Uranus yelled. "They must be destroyed! You with me on this, Pluto?"
"Ooh, that JC is so gorgeous," Pluto said. "Do you think he likes older women?"
"News flash! You're a few eons older, not a few years!" Uranus groaned and shook her head. "I don't believe this. Okay, that does it. We're shedding some pretty boy blood. World--"
"NO!!" Sailor Moon shrieked, diving in front of the band.
"What the hell are you doing?" Uranus said.
"You can't kill the five hottest guys in the music business!" Sailor Moon protested. "It's unethical!"
"They're evil!" Uranus said, throwing up her hands.
Sailor Moon threw herself at Justin. "IT'S JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!" she shrieked. "JUSTIN FRICKIN' TIMBERLAKE!"
"YOU CAN'T HAVE JUSTIN, HE'S MINE!" Venus yelled, lunging for Justin.
"Ha ha ha," Evil Mastemind Guy said in his most diabolical voice, popping up unseen for no apparent reason other than to fill us in. "Finally, I have thought of the perfect way to destroy the Sailor Senshi! Little do they know that while the boys of *NSYNC fill the air with their number one hits, they are releasing powerful voices that hit high notes that will eventually crack the overhanging satellite, which will fall down and crush the swooning Sailor Senshi! And they are powerless to stop it! Mwa ha ha ha!" And then he was gone.
Um...yeah. Now how is that diabolically evil? Or even logical?
Anyways, we were watching the...er, I guess it isn't really a battle, is it? Whatever. Everyon'e favorite team of female panty-kicking superheroines with everyone's favorite team of gorgeous male pop superstars. This would make great TV. Someone call me a network exec!
Sailor Venus and Sailor Moon were fighting over Justin. "Girls, c'mon," Justin drawled, pulling the blond senshi apart. "There's plenty of Justin to go around."
Mercury was drooling over that Joey guy, who was commenting on their commonly unnatural haircolors. Yeah, intelligent conversation, my ass.
"Yeah, I'm eons old," Pluto was saying to JC, casually leaning against her Time Staff. "My life's been one of bitter resentment and jealousy...I'm in love with my future queen's husband. It's a bitch."
JC pulled out a pad and started scribbling notes. "That would make a great song!"
Sailor Mars was hanging all over that Lance weirdo, getting way touchy feely, talking about fire (of course). "Ohmigod, Lance, I, like, totally love you. Marry me!" Hmm. Well, she could have been talking about fire. It's not like it's never happened before.
That Chris guy was standing there in his pineapple hair, looking sad at getting completely ignored, as per usual.
Suddenly Carson Daly showed up. "And welcome back to TRL. We're on location...somewhere. Who cares? I get paid no matter where we are! At number one for the millionth straight week is *NSYNC's newest hit single, whatever the hell that may be."
Sailor Jupiter stood in front of the camera, looking bubbly and ditzy, as most TRL fans do. "I requested *NSYNC's 'It's Gonna Be Me,' because it's gonna be me marrying Justin!" she shrieked. "WOOOOOOOO!"
"BACK OFF!" Sailor Moon and Sailor Venus shouted silmontaneously. "JUSTIN'S MINE! I'M GONNA BE THE FUTURE MRS. TIMBERLAKE!!"
Jupiter, Venus, and Moon all started pushing each other around, while Justin watched with an amused smile.
"Crap!" Evil Mastermind Guy said. "This isn't working out at all like I'd hoped. Those stupid Sailor Senshi are seducing the *NSYNCers, and they're not singing!"
Well, no duh. Like we haven't already figured that out.
"Hey, Evil Mastermind Guy!" a guy in a suit, assuming the role of *NSYNC's manager, even though he wasn't really, said, coming in the room. (What room?) "This is unauthorized use of *NSYNC."
"Wha?" Evil Mastermind Guy said. "I got 'em through Lou!"
"You moron!" Suit Dude snapped. "Lou Pearlman isn't in charge of *NSYNC anymore. Don't you read papers? Don't you watch MTV? Nine-nine-ninety-nine? Big battle for the *NSYNC name? This is costing you major royalities to do this, buddy! I'm taking the guys!"
"We don't wanna leave!" the guys whined, enjoying the display of pretty girls in short skirts.
"Too bad," Suit Dude said, snapping his fingers. And the six of them were gone.
"Hey! I still need a boy band for the rest of the day!" Evil Mastermind Guy whined.
"Here, take these five," Suit Dude said as he disappeared. Five other guys showed up where *NSYNC had been.
"When I want it THAT way!" a fat blond guy was singing.
The senshi covered their ears. "Not the Backstreet Boys!" Sailor Moon wailed. "We have to destroy them!"
"It's about freakin' time," Uranus grumbled. "World Shaking!" A blast hit the five annoying guys, and they were dead. The world rejoiced.
***FIN***