* * * * *

* * * * *

My experience at the hospital was one that I'll always remember. I met more doctors in those five days than I ever wanted to. I had more strangers looking at my body than any person should ever have. And I took more Thorazine than most people will in their whole life.

And yet now I miss being in the hospital. I miss the needles, the food, the doctors, even Dollface. Because all of those things combined is better than being back in the 'real world,' so to speak.

The psychiatric evaluation was hardly what I expected. All it was was a wannabe shrink sitting in a chair next to my bed, asking me all the questions that the doctors asked me earlier. How's school? How's my home life? What about my friends? Do I mind telling him about them? Why did I try to kill myself? Where are the bruises from?

I passed though. And I was released that day, with a list of good psychologists in the area. He thought I might want to set up an appointment. I told him I'd think about it and threw the list away when he left the room.

My dad picked me up. Was I surprised? Of course I was. To be honest, I'd sort of forgotten that he even existed at all. It had been so long since I'd seen him.

The ride home was tense. The Thorazine was still in my system from earlier, and I was half-asleep and curled up in my seat with a huge stuffed wolf that the other Chosen had given me (apparently Dai and I weren't the only ones who thought flowers were a stupid idea). I could feel my father glaring at me every once and a while but managed to ignore it.

Actually being home, however, is a bit of a blur to me. I remember yelling. He started yelling the moment the door shut, something about disgracing our family. And I remember getting punched and being knocked to the ground. My lip was bleeding, and I remember tasting it. And then more yelling. But then I just blacked out. Or at least I think I blacked out. I don't remember anything after that.

I woke up alone with a split lip and a few bruises on my arm. I honestly don't see how my lip could have gotten split. I've gone over that punch a hundred times in my mind, and I can't come up with any conceivable way it could have happened. He hit me in the jaw, nowhere near my lips. And I don't remember biting them or colliding with something when I fell. I suppose I'll never know how it happened.

But it did happen, and now I've got another injury to lie about.

It's my first day back at school and Taichi, Sora, and Koushiro have already asked about it today. I told them that I was feeling drowsy from the Thorazine and managed to trip on the stairs. They seemed to buy it.

Well, Sora seemed to buy it. Taichi and Koushiro just looked concerned, which reminded me of Daisuke and his 'people care' speech. And for just a moment, everything was all right.

Then of course, Sora laid her head on Tai's shoulder. And after glancing at me he pushed her away, which caused all hell to break loose. I felt nauseous again, and Sora started yelling at him for 'being a jerk'.

When the bell rang, I stalked away towards my biology class, which is where I sit right now listening to the teacher explain the next computer activity. That's all we do in this class, I swear, computer activities.

"All right, class, now find a computer and work."

With a sigh I sit myself down at the nearest computer. Now what was I supposed to be doing again?

"Mind if I work with you?" Koushiro asks, walking up beside me.

I shake my head and let go of the mouse, allowing him to take charge of the activity, seeing as I have no clue what we should be doing.

He pulls up a chair. "Look, it's fairly obvious what's going on between you and Taichi. I think everyone knows. But…he's trying, you know."

"I know. He just isn't getting it. And he won't listen to me when I try to explain it."

"He thinks it hurts you when he's around her like that. That's why he's doing it."

"No, he's doing it because he feels guilty." I lean back and gesture towards the computer. "We have to get this done."

And with a nod from Koushiro, the subject is dropped.

* * * * *

"You don't have to do this, you know."

Takeru puts his chopsticks down. "Do what? Spend time with my older brother?"

"No, baby-sit me. I know you say that's not what you're doing but I know it is. You think I'm going to do something stupid again, and that's why you've been spending every single evening over here."

He stares at me for a second before giving me a wry grin. "Figured me out, huh?"

I shrug. "It isn't that hard to see it, squirt. Besides I had a feeling you'd be doing this even before I got out of the hospital."

"You know me too well."

"Yeah I do," I agree. "I'm not going to do it again, you know."

He doesn't respond for a moment, and I realize that he doesn't believe me. "I can't make it tomorrow, basketball, you know. But I think I'll have someone else come. Maybe Hikari or Ken or someone."

"Taichi?" It's meant as a joke.

"Over my dead body." Unfortunately, I don't think he finds it funny.

"Takeru…"

He rolls his eyes and twirls one of his chopsticks. "Or maybe Daisuke. You seem to be getting along with him quite well." I opt not to say anything. "You know, yesterday Dai decided to tell our whole history class about when I put ice in my underwear to keep the monsters from eating my balls (A/N: I have a cousin who did this). You don't by chance know who told him that story, do you?"

I feign innocence. "Not a clue. Where on earth did he get that? Maybe he has developed psychic abilities."

"Mm hm." He's not convinced. The two of us eat in silence for a moment. Then suddenly I feel him watching me intently. "You sure you just tripped?"

It takes me a second before I realize that he's referring to my lip. "Yeah. What else could have happened?"

Takeru peers a little closer. "I don't know. It just looks like you got in a fight, that's all. It wasn't Tai, was it?"

I start to laugh, shocked that he'd even think something like that. "Takeru, that is completely insane. Tai wouldn't cut my lip open. How could you suggest that?"

"I don't know. It's just that…with that and your wrist…Yamato, you'd tell me if some…asshole at school were to hurt you, wouldn't you?" He's giving me his concerned pout, and it might as well be Taichi asking me the question. I can't lie to him when he pouts like that.

"Of course I would." And it's true too. If some guy at school were to kick the crap out of me, I'd tell him. I just refuse to tell him that it was Dad.

* * * * *

I write this alone in my bed

I've poisoned every room in the house

The place is quiet and so alone

Pretend there's something worth waiting for

There's nothing nice in my head

The adult world took it all away

Wake up with the same spit in my mouth

Cannot tell if it is real or not

I try and walk in a straight line

An imitation of dignity

From despair to where

I feel the headphones being pulled away. "Hey, Blue Eyes."

With a yelp, I jerk around. "Dai…don't ever do that again."

He laughs lightly. "Sorry, Blue Eyes. I knocked but no one answered, and the door was unlocked so I let myself in. Hope you don't mind."

"No, not at all. You just scared me a little bit." I shut off my CD player and get out of the bathtub that I was cleaning. "So, you're my brother's replacement?"

"If that's what you want to call me. I was told that you needed some company for the evening."

"Yeah well…" I trail off, fighting off a bitter comment. "Can I get you anything? A drink or something?"

Daisuke shakes his head with a smile. "No, thanks. I'll be all right." Dear God, we sound like the people on those stupid American television shows. "Mind if I ask a question?"

"Go ahead."

He reaches his hand up to my cheek. "What happened?" His thumb runs lightly across my bottom lip, causing me to shiver slightly.

"They let me out of the hospital when I was still drugged up, and I sort of lost my balance on the stairs to the apartment," I say, surprising myself as I lean delicately into his touch.

"Hmm." I feel his hand leave my cheek. "That had to hurt. You okay?"

By the way he said it, I don't really think he was talking about my lip. But I nod anyway and take a deep breath. "Okay. I've got to finish cleaning this, so just hang on for a second. It shouldn't take long. Then we can do whatever."

"Want me to do anything?"

A sadistic grin spreads across my face. "Well actually…" I open the cabinet and pull out the toilet bowl cleaner. "Here. Make yourself useful."

I can feel him smile at me as I climb back into the bathtub. "You know," he says after a minute, "I don't see you as the person who would voluntarily clean their bathroom."

I shrug as I scrub one of the corners. "I've always been a clean person. I mean, I'm not obsessive-compulsive or anything. I just like my bathroom to not have bugs crawling around in it. And if I don't do it, who will? My dad sure won't."

"You and your dad aren't exactly the best of friends, are you?"

I give him a curious look. "What makes you say that?

"You get this expression on your face when you mention him, a very disdainful one. And…well, I never saw him at the hospital. And I know that if my son was in the hospital for that then I'd be practically living there…" Daisuke sets the brush back in its container and flushes the toilet.

A sigh escapes from my lips. "We used to be close. But now his whole world revolves around his work. And when I do get to see him, all we do is fight. So no, we don't exactly have an ideal father-son relationship."

Seeing as how Dai has already finished cleaning the toilet, I decide to quit scrubbing the bathtub. The moment my feet touch the floor of the bathroom, a pair of arms pulls me into a quick hug. "What was that for?" I ask when I'm released.

He gives a shrug. "You looked like you could use it."

"Well, thanks. So you hungry?"

"Starving. You gonna cook me one of your famous meals that I hear so much about?"

I grin and start toward the kitchen. "All right. What do you want?"

"Whatever you're willing to fix, Blue Eyes."

And I smile yet again. You know, I never realized it before but…God I love that name.