Here's more...I don't really have much to say, so read. I said *read*!
Okay, I can't *force* you. But please do, and please review, because it's you people saying I'm a candidate for the psych ward that gets me through my days.
Sailormoon, Power Rangers, and Celebrity Deathmatch do not belong to me.
Booyaka! ~NV22~
***
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Celebrity Deathmatch. I'm Johnny Gomez."
"And I'm Nick Diamond. Tonight, Johnny, we have a really special show for you all. So special, in fact, that we haven't even booked any fights other than our main event! I really hope this lasts a while!"
"That's right, Nick. Tonight, the main event is a long-awaited brawl between the famed Sailor Senshi of Tokyo and the cheap rip-off Power Rangers of the fictional Angel Grove. Both teams have been waiting for this for a long time."
"My bets are on the senshi, Johnny. Not only are they young, beautiful, and scantily dressed, but they have real powers."
"So true, Nick. So true. Well, let's go to Mills Lane in the ring."
(This is Mills talking, duh.) "In this corner, straight from the Minato-ku district of Tokyo, the very lovely Sailor Senshi: EternalSailormoon, SuperSailormercury, SuperSailormars, SuperSailorjupiter, SuperSailorvenus, and SuperSailorchibimoon. (Geez, that was too long.) In this corner, straight from Angel Grove, the *cough* unforgettable Power Rangers: the Red Ranger, Pink Ranger, Blue Ranger, Black Ranger, Yellow Ranger, and Green Ranger. Here are the rules: there are none! Kick some ass. Let's get it on!"
"You're going down, you pathetic wannabes!" Sailormoon yelled. "Born under the protection of the White Moon, I, warrior of justice, am EternalSailormoon. I live to protect the vows of love of the innocent, and to punish evildoers! And you six are the worst evil I've ever seen!"
"What she said! I'm Sailormars!"
"Mercury!"
"Jupiter!"
"Venus!"
"I'm SuperSailorchibimoon, and damn proud of it!" Chibi Moon yelled. The six senshi struck poses, and the audiences cheered, screaming and waving signs that said "I Love You, Sailor Moon"; "Mars, Let Me Be Your Fire Soul"; "Mercury, I Wanna Get Lost In Your Fog"; "Mako-chan, I Look Like Sempai"; "Venus, Love and Beauty Shock ME"; "*NSYNC RULES"; and the like.
"We're so cool we don't need to make speeches!" the Red Ranger yelled. "But let's try it anyway, huh? Um...I'm red!"
"I'm pink!"
"I'm blue!"
"I'm green!"
"I'm black!"
"I'm yellow!"
"We are the Power Rangers!" they finished collectively, and struck a group pose. The audience members booed. There were no signs.
"Let's get it on!" Mars yelled. "Fire Soul!" Flames shot from her fingertips and singed the red guy's armor-stuff. Is it armor? Or just a stupid suit? Who knows? And more importantly, who cares?
Enraged, the Pink and Yellow Rangers ran forward and started flipping, yelling, and kicking wildly at the air.
"Looks like they're about to attack, Johnny!"
"No duh, Nick. No duh."
Two well-placed boots, one yellow and one pink, landed square in the middle of Jupiter's stomach. She paused, stumbled backwards, and muttered, "Ouch."
"Johnny, these Sailor Senshi are more than we give them credit for. Jupiter seems barely wounded!"
"What a waste."
"You two sluts make me so sick in those tasteless pastel suits," Jupiter spat. "Here's a nice dose of good taste for you. Sparkling Wide Pressure!"
"Look at that, Nick! Jupiter's thunder attack has completely wiped out the Yellow Ranger, who took the blow for Pink! Never has loyalty and friendship been so electrocutingly messy!"
Hey! Who's the author here? Not you, Clay Boy.
Jupiter's thunder attack was about to appropriately obliterate the two female Power Rangers, but Yellow screamed really loudly, almost busting several audience members' fragile clay eardrums, dove in front of Pink, and died. We feel no remorse. None. Who's better at this? Johnny Gomez or me?
Pink was busy crying over spilt Yellow (who was now a very moist puddle), and hardly noticed Chibi Moon jumping to join her. "Hi!" she yelled. "I'm pink, too!"
Pink held a glove to her helmet. "I'm getting a migraine already."
Chibi Moon frowned. "I do that to people."
Meanwhile, Sailormoon and Red Ranger were frantically punching at heach other, but only connecting fists. "Ow," Sailor Moon said, hitting her fist against Red's. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow."
"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow," Red was saying.
"It appears as though the respective leaders, the Red Ranger and Sailor Moon, have reached a stalemate, Nick."
"Shut up, Johnny. I'm not blind."
Meanwhile, Sailor Mercury and the Blue Ranger were having an intellectual conversation, trying to figure out who was smarter. We'd go closer, but there are too many big words and our brains would explode.
"Mercury, get away from that guy before you lose the support of the viewers!" Mars yelled. "Mars Flame Sniper!" The Blue Ranger was scorched, and the audience cheered. But the other Rangers weren't impressed (more like pissed), and the Pink, Red, Green, and Black Rangers started chasing Mars in a circle, yelling like they had hissing cockroaches stuck where the sun don't shine, and kicking furiously. They weren't even remotely close to hitting Mars, but they didn't seem to notice or care.
"I don't believe this Nick! The remaining Power Rangers are chasing Sailor Mars around, looking like the hunters in Lord of the Flies!"
"Most of our viewers haven't read the book, Johnny."
"Good point."
These people get paid to suck? I'm so much better at this. Where's my money?
Venus got ticked off and knocked them to the side with her Venus Love and Beauty Shock, and the Pink and Red Rangers cried. "Serves you right, losers."
She walked calmly over to them and began to calmly kick them in the butts with her high heels. That's gotta hurt.
Meanwhile, Sailor Moon and Sailor Chibi Moon had cornered the Black Ranger, annoying him immensely with their supreme cuteness. Such a dangerous weapon should never be left in their hands.
Jupiter was talking with the Green Ranger, and then surprisely kneed him in the groin. He never saw it coming. He yelped, and passed out. Mercury stood over him, kind of irked that she never got to prove that she was the smartest, and started bashing him repeatedly with her Mercury Lyre.
"They say the pen is mightier than the sword, Johnny, but in this case, it looks like the harp is pretty mighty, too!"
"That's right, Nick. The Green Ranger is getting beaten to a pulp by Mercury and her harp. He's gonna be feeling that in the morning."
"If he feels anything!"
Venus was still kicking the Red and Pink Rangers, Mars having joined her. Sailor Moon and Chibi Moon were annoying the crap out of the Black Ranger. And after an amusing five minutes, Mercury and Jupiter joined their comrades, having killed the Green Ranger. Mercury wiped the blood off her gloves. "Well, I guess anger management really is good for the soul," she commented.
Damn straight.
The battle went on for a long time, several minutes, even. But when the Shabon Spray cleared, the victors stood tall (well, Jupiter, Mercury, Mars, and Venus did. "HEY! I am not that short!" Ri-ight) over their extremely bloody enemies. Bloody and gutty enemies. Ooh, it's messy.
"Oh yeah, we won, we won!" Sailor Moon yelled triumphantly. "Boo-ya! In your face, Evil Mastermind Guy!"
"This is incredible!" Nick yelled.
"A total slaughter!" Johnny agreed. "The likes of which we've never before seen on Celebrity Deathmatch! The opponents --all six of them-- were completely annihilated! Mutilated! They're nothing more than little stains in the Deathmatch ring! They were destroyed! They were--"
"Shut up already, would ya?" Moon snapped. "Geez, you're annoying."
"Mars Flame Sniper!" Mars added, piercing Johnny through the heart with a flame-y arrow thing. Ouchies. He's dead now.
"Oh my God, Johnny!" Nick yelled, bending over his friend's charred corpse. "Is nothing sacred?"
"Shut your piehole, Mustache Boy, or you're next," Mars said.
Nick turned to the camera sadly and fearfully. I'm not entirely sure if it's possible to do both, but he did it. He spoke through his tears. "I'm Nick Diamond, and this has been Celebrity Deathmatch. Good fight..." he said, looking all choked up, "...good night. JOHNNY!" Nick burst into hysterical tears.
***FIN***
Okay, I can't *force* you. But please do, and please review, because it's you people saying I'm a candidate for the psych ward that gets me through my days.
Sailormoon, Power Rangers, and Celebrity Deathmatch do not belong to me.
Booyaka! ~NV22~
***
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Celebrity Deathmatch. I'm Johnny Gomez."
"And I'm Nick Diamond. Tonight, Johnny, we have a really special show for you all. So special, in fact, that we haven't even booked any fights other than our main event! I really hope this lasts a while!"
"That's right, Nick. Tonight, the main event is a long-awaited brawl between the famed Sailor Senshi of Tokyo and the cheap rip-off Power Rangers of the fictional Angel Grove. Both teams have been waiting for this for a long time."
"My bets are on the senshi, Johnny. Not only are they young, beautiful, and scantily dressed, but they have real powers."
"So true, Nick. So true. Well, let's go to Mills Lane in the ring."
(This is Mills talking, duh.) "In this corner, straight from the Minato-ku district of Tokyo, the very lovely Sailor Senshi: EternalSailormoon, SuperSailormercury, SuperSailormars, SuperSailorjupiter, SuperSailorvenus, and SuperSailorchibimoon. (Geez, that was too long.) In this corner, straight from Angel Grove, the *cough* unforgettable Power Rangers: the Red Ranger, Pink Ranger, Blue Ranger, Black Ranger, Yellow Ranger, and Green Ranger. Here are the rules: there are none! Kick some ass. Let's get it on!"
"You're going down, you pathetic wannabes!" Sailormoon yelled. "Born under the protection of the White Moon, I, warrior of justice, am EternalSailormoon. I live to protect the vows of love of the innocent, and to punish evildoers! And you six are the worst evil I've ever seen!"
"What she said! I'm Sailormars!"
"Mercury!"
"Jupiter!"
"Venus!"
"I'm SuperSailorchibimoon, and damn proud of it!" Chibi Moon yelled. The six senshi struck poses, and the audiences cheered, screaming and waving signs that said "I Love You, Sailor Moon"; "Mars, Let Me Be Your Fire Soul"; "Mercury, I Wanna Get Lost In Your Fog"; "Mako-chan, I Look Like Sempai"; "Venus, Love and Beauty Shock ME"; "*NSYNC RULES"; and the like.
"We're so cool we don't need to make speeches!" the Red Ranger yelled. "But let's try it anyway, huh? Um...I'm red!"
"I'm pink!"
"I'm blue!"
"I'm green!"
"I'm black!"
"I'm yellow!"
"We are the Power Rangers!" they finished collectively, and struck a group pose. The audience members booed. There were no signs.
"Let's get it on!" Mars yelled. "Fire Soul!" Flames shot from her fingertips and singed the red guy's armor-stuff. Is it armor? Or just a stupid suit? Who knows? And more importantly, who cares?
Enraged, the Pink and Yellow Rangers ran forward and started flipping, yelling, and kicking wildly at the air.
"Looks like they're about to attack, Johnny!"
"No duh, Nick. No duh."
Two well-placed boots, one yellow and one pink, landed square in the middle of Jupiter's stomach. She paused, stumbled backwards, and muttered, "Ouch."
"Johnny, these Sailor Senshi are more than we give them credit for. Jupiter seems barely wounded!"
"What a waste."
"You two sluts make me so sick in those tasteless pastel suits," Jupiter spat. "Here's a nice dose of good taste for you. Sparkling Wide Pressure!"
"Look at that, Nick! Jupiter's thunder attack has completely wiped out the Yellow Ranger, who took the blow for Pink! Never has loyalty and friendship been so electrocutingly messy!"
Hey! Who's the author here? Not you, Clay Boy.
Jupiter's thunder attack was about to appropriately obliterate the two female Power Rangers, but Yellow screamed really loudly, almost busting several audience members' fragile clay eardrums, dove in front of Pink, and died. We feel no remorse. None. Who's better at this? Johnny Gomez or me?
Pink was busy crying over spilt Yellow (who was now a very moist puddle), and hardly noticed Chibi Moon jumping to join her. "Hi!" she yelled. "I'm pink, too!"
Pink held a glove to her helmet. "I'm getting a migraine already."
Chibi Moon frowned. "I do that to people."
Meanwhile, Sailormoon and Red Ranger were frantically punching at heach other, but only connecting fists. "Ow," Sailor Moon said, hitting her fist against Red's. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow."
"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow," Red was saying.
"It appears as though the respective leaders, the Red Ranger and Sailor Moon, have reached a stalemate, Nick."
"Shut up, Johnny. I'm not blind."
Meanwhile, Sailor Mercury and the Blue Ranger were having an intellectual conversation, trying to figure out who was smarter. We'd go closer, but there are too many big words and our brains would explode.
"Mercury, get away from that guy before you lose the support of the viewers!" Mars yelled. "Mars Flame Sniper!" The Blue Ranger was scorched, and the audience cheered. But the other Rangers weren't impressed (more like pissed), and the Pink, Red, Green, and Black Rangers started chasing Mars in a circle, yelling like they had hissing cockroaches stuck where the sun don't shine, and kicking furiously. They weren't even remotely close to hitting Mars, but they didn't seem to notice or care.
"I don't believe this Nick! The remaining Power Rangers are chasing Sailor Mars around, looking like the hunters in Lord of the Flies!"
"Most of our viewers haven't read the book, Johnny."
"Good point."
These people get paid to suck? I'm so much better at this. Where's my money?
Venus got ticked off and knocked them to the side with her Venus Love and Beauty Shock, and the Pink and Red Rangers cried. "Serves you right, losers."
She walked calmly over to them and began to calmly kick them in the butts with her high heels. That's gotta hurt.
Meanwhile, Sailor Moon and Sailor Chibi Moon had cornered the Black Ranger, annoying him immensely with their supreme cuteness. Such a dangerous weapon should never be left in their hands.
Jupiter was talking with the Green Ranger, and then surprisely kneed him in the groin. He never saw it coming. He yelped, and passed out. Mercury stood over him, kind of irked that she never got to prove that she was the smartest, and started bashing him repeatedly with her Mercury Lyre.
"They say the pen is mightier than the sword, Johnny, but in this case, it looks like the harp is pretty mighty, too!"
"That's right, Nick. The Green Ranger is getting beaten to a pulp by Mercury and her harp. He's gonna be feeling that in the morning."
"If he feels anything!"
Venus was still kicking the Red and Pink Rangers, Mars having joined her. Sailor Moon and Chibi Moon were annoying the crap out of the Black Ranger. And after an amusing five minutes, Mercury and Jupiter joined their comrades, having killed the Green Ranger. Mercury wiped the blood off her gloves. "Well, I guess anger management really is good for the soul," she commented.
Damn straight.
The battle went on for a long time, several minutes, even. But when the Shabon Spray cleared, the victors stood tall (well, Jupiter, Mercury, Mars, and Venus did. "HEY! I am not that short!" Ri-ight) over their extremely bloody enemies. Bloody and gutty enemies. Ooh, it's messy.
"Oh yeah, we won, we won!" Sailor Moon yelled triumphantly. "Boo-ya! In your face, Evil Mastermind Guy!"
"This is incredible!" Nick yelled.
"A total slaughter!" Johnny agreed. "The likes of which we've never before seen on Celebrity Deathmatch! The opponents --all six of them-- were completely annihilated! Mutilated! They're nothing more than little stains in the Deathmatch ring! They were destroyed! They were--"
"Shut up already, would ya?" Moon snapped. "Geez, you're annoying."
"Mars Flame Sniper!" Mars added, piercing Johnny through the heart with a flame-y arrow thing. Ouchies. He's dead now.
"Oh my God, Johnny!" Nick yelled, bending over his friend's charred corpse. "Is nothing sacred?"
"Shut your piehole, Mustache Boy, or you're next," Mars said.
Nick turned to the camera sadly and fearfully. I'm not entirely sure if it's possible to do both, but he did it. He spoke through his tears. "I'm Nick Diamond, and this has been Celebrity Deathmatch. Good fight..." he said, looking all choked up, "...good night. JOHNNY!" Nick burst into hysterical tears.
***FIN***