Body
    All or Nothing 2of2
    WARNING: THIS IS NOT A HAPPY ENDING FOR Jcers! YOU ARE WARNED!
    "I know Chaktoay, but I'm afraid. And I don't know where to go from here. It never was and never will be my intent to hurt you but..." "Kathryn, if there are doubts in your mind tell me now. We can work through them." "And if we can't? Then what will happen?" She said not wanting to go into anything blindly. "I have to admit, that is one bridge that I never want to cross...but if we have to, then..." He too was at a loss for words. "Then I guess the next move we make will be the decision that sticks...Weather we stay like this, or go back to the way we were." She said quietly.
    Chaktoay decided that he would have it one way or another but not both. "Kathryn," he started pulling away from her and started to pace as she had down earlier. "I can't go back to the way we were...I can't go back and fourth like we did before...I don't mean to sound rude or mean in anyway, but there is only one way to say this and it's not very subtle..." He hoped that she would understand what he was about to say...He was only speaking what he was thinking...
    "Cause I want it all
    Or nothing at all
    There's no where left to fall
    When you reach the bottom it's now or never
    Is it all
    Or are we just friends
    Is this how it ends
    With a simple beckoned call
    You leave me here with nothing at all." He took his time and didn't rush anything. He just let it come out as he was thinking it. He saw that she had a confused/dazed look on her face. So he continued. "There are times it seems to me
    I'm sharing you with memories." She was about to cry. He had never *ever* been so blunt before. She knew taht he had a right to be. She was usually in control and he felt that he enver had right to speak up this much to her. So the only thing that she could muster up was;
    "I feel it in my heart
    But I don't show it, show it" He almost completley ignored her.
    "And then there's times you look at me
    As though I'm all that you can see
    Those times I don't believe it's right
    I know it, know it"
    Kathryn was in pure shock. She had no idea that Chaktoay felt like this. He never even hinted that he did. She would of picked something up that mentioned this unsettling news, wouldn't she? "Chakotay, listen to me. I know how you must be feeling right now. But if we don't end thi relationship now..." She fumbled over her own words, not really wanting to say them herself. "Then we both know what will happen. I thought that I got over this when I agreed to see you on a more intimate level. But now I just don't think that I can go through with it. But I can tell you this. No matter what happens, once we get Voyager home, and that will be soon," she walked over to him and put her right hand on his cheek forcing him to look at her. She saw tears welding in his eyes. This was hard for him too. "Once we get Voyager hime. There will be nothing left but time for us. I swear to you that I can freely love you once..."
    "Don't make me promises
    Baby you never did know how to keep them well." He pulled his face out of her hand. He looked away to his left side at nothing imparticular. Just not wanting to walk away, but needing to look away at least. "Remember, when I first came you said that you'd always trust me as your first officer. Then that crap with Tom acting like a complete ass to me for the sake of a mission. You didn't even me inform me of it. I thought you trusted me?" He looked towards her again and saw her looking at the floor not sure what to say, if anything at all. "Another time that I just remembered," he said as if he just had a great idea, "Before we left New Earth, you said that we could proceed with our raltionship. Keep it going. But the only thing we kept going was talking, besides that I called oyu by your given name and not your rank mask."
    "Chakotay, I don't know what to say besides I'm sorry. I thought that this would work, but..." "It can work, you just need to let it run it's course." "I'm afraid to. I'm not sure..."
    "I've had the rest of you
    Now I want the best of you
    It's time for show and tell. Weather we keep going, or we go back to friends, but I won't always be here as your little sexual tension reliever." He wasn't sure of how much she understood. He knew that he was probably babbling on and on but thought that she deserved to know everything that went on in that head of his. "Cause you and I
    Could lose it all if you've got no more room
    No room inside for me in your life
    Cause I want it all
    Or nothing at all
    There's no where left to fall
    It's now or never" It was totally up to her. Rather she run and leave him as a lover and only wanted friendship, or they stayed together, forever...
    She looked up at his eyes. They were showing no hurry, no pleaing for an answer. They, for once, were just...just, there. His eyes were nothing but. She thought waiting for the right words to come to her. The only words that she can say were easiest three words for her to say at this moment...
    "I'm sorry Chakotay..." And she walked out of his quarters...And according to her, out of his heart...
    End!
    So, I didn't think you'd like it either, but hey, I told you to choose, not my fault you choose the sad one!
    ~~*Taya*~~ who is still debating a sequel