Suddenly a cold came over her. She realized that she was sitting in what felt like a snowbank. As she wondered how she had come to be there she began to hear a familiar voice. Or, as it could be better described, a familiar wheeze.

"Brainy!" she gasped too surprised to even whack him. "What are you doing here? Better yet what am I doing here?"

"Um, hi Helga ....I'm your spiritual advisor." he said as he offered her his hand. Ignoring his hand she jumped up and started screaming.

"Spiritual advisor? What the heck are you talking about! All that wheezing must have done something to your brain! I want to know right here and right now what I'm doing here or I'm going to smack you so hard you'll wish you were never born!"

"Well," Brainy began his voice becoming stronger and less nasal. He stopped slouching and stood straight and tall. "I guess we'll have something in common then won't we?"

Helga gasped. How could he have known about the wish she had made to herself? Why did he look so different? What happened to the wheeze?

"First of all Helga you're going to have to believe me. I am in fact your spiritual advisor. Kinda like your modern day fairy godmother. Haven't you ever wondered why I'm always behind you? Always hanging over your shoulder at the price of physical pain? The truth is that you can't hurt me. I'm not alive. Now do you or don't you want to know why you're here?"

Even though she was still in shock Helga managed to nod her head slowly.

"Good. Now we're getting somewhere. This is the deal. You wished you were never born. You got your wish. This vacant lot is where your house used to be. Now I'm here to show you the consequences of the wish you made. Following me?"

"Yes-s" Helga said, still taken aback. Not only was the information so unbelievable but Brainy! His demeanor was that of a savvy businessman. He was definetly not the ignored classmate she knew and hated.

"So where to?"

"Where to?"

Brainy sighed. "I thought you got me. I'm here to show you consequences but I gotta know where you want to go first."

Pull yourself together, thought Helga. This is no time to freak out. "Um..I guess I'd like to see my parents."

"Which one? Do you wanna go to Bob's or Miriam's?"

"My parents don't live together?" she said in a quiet tone. Her attitude annoyed Brainy.

"Good work Sherlock! Remind me to hire you for the next case. What's with the fraility act? Suck it up and move on..we don't have that much time."

"Why do you have to be such a jerk? I just find out my parents don't live together and you make fun of me?"

Brainy snorted. "I guess nine years hanging around you left a lasting influence on me. Anyways if you won't choose a parent I will. Onward to Miriam's!"

**************

They were standing inside of a small broken down apartment. The only light in room came from a television set in a corner which illuminated a broken down couch. The only piece of furniture in an otherwise bare room.

"I thought you said Miriam was here. Where is she?"

"Take a look at the couch."

Helga approached the couch only to see her own mother sprawled across it. In her mother's hand was a whiskey bottle. A little frightened she backed up only to trip on another empty bottle that had been on the floor.

"Did I wake her up?" she said terrified. She was afraid to speak to this woman who looked so much like her own mother and yet...so haggard and old. From where she stood she could see several whisps of gray hair framing her delicate face.

"Did I wake her up?" Brainy said mockingly. "Don't you know ANYTHING? You're not alive! How could she have heard you when don't exist?"

"So it's true isn't it? I really never did exist." Helga looked at her mother. Oh mom, she thought, what happened?

"Well...technically that's not true. You actually did exist only you were a miscarriage. Your wish was never to be born. Not to never have existed."

"What's the difference anyways?"

"Well there's a whole world of difference. Big Bob was proud of his wife having another kid. His first daughter was already the light of his life and he couldn't wait to have his second child. Until Miriam had a miscarriage."

"You see, Big Bob had convinced himself that child number two would be a boy. The heir to his beeper throne. He was so excited he would only let Miriam buy blue outfits and blue blankets. He even took one whole saturday off work just to paint blue nursery."

"Bob took off a whole Saturday?" Helga said amazed. "He won't even take off a Saturday for my birthday."

"Well anyways, Big Bob was very excited...until the miscarriage that is. He blamed Miriam for everything. He claimed that she hadn't even wanted a boy, that she sabotaged the whole thing. He was so angry that he demanded a divorce. Your father moved out and got custody of Olga since he had a good business and Miriam was just a homemaker. And of course the miscarriage left Miriam weakened and in need of hospitalization she couldn't afford. She had to sell the house to a contractor and move into this low class apartment to pay off the bills. After the whole ordeal she aged into the woman you see today. Sad story isn't it?"

"Mom." she whispered the word that she had hardly said to Miriam. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, yeah..touching, beautiful. Are you ready to move on yet? Big Bob's?"

"No..." started Helga as she tried to wipe a few tears from her eyes. "I can't deal with seeing HIM now..not after seeing this."

"Hmm.." said Brainy. "How 'bout your best friend Pheobe?"

"Pheobe? I guess so. Yeah, let's check in on old Pheebs and see how she's coming along." she said. Nothing could be worse than what she had already seen.

At least that was what she hoped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stay tuned for Helga's reaction to Pheobe. It's late now so I'll put it up Monday at latest.

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