Normally I would say something witty here… but I can't think of anything…
Haruka and Michiru reached the other end of the park, and
got out of the car to find her. Michiru grabbed an extra jacket that she
brought with her, since she noticed that it was raining harder and Hotaru
didn't grab her jacket when she left. She truly felt bad for the poor girl, and
the life she had lived. She had tried to befriend the girl, but she was always
so quiet that it was hard. Hotaru never asked for anything, never made any
demands, and always accepted things as they were. Her spirit was so gentle; she
really couldn't hurt a fly, contrary to popular belief. Maybe that's why it was
so easy to neglect her.
Haruka on the other hand, was on the verge of collapse. 'I shouldn't have said that to her… what have I done?' she thought to herself. She was secretly was glad it was raining, because some of the water on her face wasn't from the rain.
*****
I continued to sit on the fountain, looking at the water as raindrops fell into the pool. I listened to the rain, not hearing anything else. This was truly better that silence. The rain continued to fall, and I continued to think. Man, I really shouldn't be thinking this much… it's not good for me. Since everything that happened, I had tried to keep myself busy with creative things, to keep my mind of all the problems that plagued my existence. I had nothing to do now, though, and all the things that I had tried to avoid came upon me at once. Death. Loneliness. Destruction. Hate. Depression. My own personal hell. I hated what all those things had done to me. I had lost all the things that made me happy. My Family, my friends…
I sighed as my eyes began to burn, tears making my vision blurry. Hot tears swept down my cheeks, and for once I couldn't, and wouldn't, stop them. It was the first time that I had cried since Chibi-Usa had left and my dad died… I felt ashamed as the tears continued down my already wet face. Why did you go, daddy?
A song, no, not a song, a lullaby, that my mother used to sing to me, came to mind. How I remembered it I don't know, as mother died when I was so little, but I loved the song and know it by heart. I used to sing it to myself when I was lonely… heck, why not; I'm lonely now, aren't I?
"Down to the earth I fell
With dripping wings
Heavy things won't fly
And the sky might catch on fire
And burn the axis of the world that's why
I prefer a sunless sky
To the glittering and stinging in my eyes
I feel
So light
This is all I wanna feel tonight
I feel so light
Tonight and the rest of my life
Gleaming in the dark sea
I'm as light as air
Floating there
Breathlessly
When the dream dissolves I open
Up my eyes I realize that
Everything is shoreless sea
A weightlessness is passing over me
Everything is waves and stars
The universe is resting in my arms
I feel so light
This is all I wanna feel tonight
I feel so light
Tonight and the rest of my life…"
I felt completely drained. I tucked my head into my knees and felt soft sobs sink through my back. My heart shrivelled into a tiny peace of ice. I felt completely useless… no good to anyone. Why did they keep me around?