The Night Remembers - Part 16
By Jill
The night air was good for clearing ones head, but Angel wasn't sure it
would be enough to clear the turmoil in his mind tonight. After their little
encounter with a first thorough mocking, in the end slightly panicked
lawyer, he had decided he'd head back for Sunnydale rather tonight than
tomorrow. He'd gotten all the information possible. He just hoped it was
enough.
He still couldn't get over Anya's last remark about the hellmouth
swallowing the slayer. He held Buffy's presumed dead body in his arms years
ago and he went through the agony of her dying without him these last
months. He simply couldn't see her die again.
He was sure that Lindsey had told them the truth. He mocked him and Gunn at
first, but then the lawyer realized the vampire hadn't come to play games
and began talking. To say it had been interesting would be understatement.
It was shocking, terrifying, and filling his veins with icy horror he'd rarely
felt before.
Angel knew instantly he had to go back. He was sure Spike would look out for
Buffy, because he had seen the expression of love on his childe's face, but
he needed to go back. This time she wouldn't face evil alone, he would be at
her side, to protect her or die trying. It wasn't that his Shanshu meant
nothing to him. On the contrary, it was important. Not in the way that he
would be human in some distant, unknown future, probably when Buffy was long
gone and his wish to see her in the sunlight would never come true.
No, it was the knowledge that redemption was possible. Even for him, who'd
taken thousands of lives, had tortured, without conscience, without mercy.
Had fed the demon with his own personal hatred for his father and the rest
of the world that didn't love him and welcome him the way he had wanted.
Yes, he knew it had been the demon who had killed and tortured, and yes,
there were times when even Angel thought it was a little bit unfair that he
suffered for that, but then he thought back about a dark alley in Galway
when he had allowed a beautiful woman to promise him everything he longed
for. He realized that whatever the demon might have done wouldn't have
happened if he hadn't agreed to become a vampire in the first place.
Of course, he hadn't really understood what it meant to be a vampire, but he
had agreed nevertheless, had never asked, never wanted to know.
And then there was this traitorous part of him that couldn't really damn the
fact he was a vampire. As a human, he'd be dead and dust by now. Only the
fact that he was a vampire, immortal, had him brought to Sunnydale, to Buffy.
Shanshu or not, for Angel she was his real redemption. The fact that a
creature like her, a girl, never doing anything but fighting the good fight,
could fall in love with him, could love him unconditionally, something he'd
never dared to dream.
He thought back about Cordelia's words about him trying to punish himself
and although he had denied it then, he couldn't do it now. Not completely.
He doubted, had always doubted, that he was worth being loved like that, and
by a woman like her. That she would see the good in him and push all the
darkness aside. But how could she when darkness was surrounding him
everywhere? He even had to avoid sunlight. How was he worth her as creature
that feared the sun?
To pull her with him. Into the darkness. To take the sunlight from her as
well. No, he hadn't been able to do that. Now, where a discovery of Willow's
was occupying a large part of his thoughts he tried to figure out if it had
been for her or for himself as well. And there was that uneasy feeling growing
inside of him that it hadn't been completely unselfish.
Angel didn't like thinking that way. No, he didn't like it at all.
"How long?"
The question startled him out of his thoughts and glanced to his side where
Gunn was sitting and looking at him. He had insisted in coming with him to
Sunnydale and Angel hadn't even tried to argue. If it was true - and he knew
it was - what Lindsey had told them, they would need all the help they could get.
Gunn had even promised to inform his friends tomorrow and get them to drive
down to the hellmouth.
"About ten minutes," the vampire replied.
Gunn nodded and looked straightforward. "It's some mighty shit were going to
face, man."
"Yeah," Angel agreed, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.
There was another minute of silence before the African American spoke again,
"You believe that scum of a lawyer?"
"Usually, no," the vampire replied. "But this time. Yeah. Unfortunately I
think he told the truth."
"That's no good," Gunn exhaled a sharp breath. "You think they're going
through with it. They're really trying to open the gate of hell?"
"Yes," Angel nodded, not taking his eyes from the road. "Yet, I'm not quite
sure what Wolfram & Hart will win through it. They're human. Evil, sure. But
still human. I can't understand what they're gaining by freeing the heart of
evil."
Gunn cracked an eyebrow and slightly turned his head, "You can't? I'd say
it's clear as day what they're after. Our friend Lindsey was quite specific
about that." He saw Angel shift uncomfortably on his seat and although he
knew the vampire didn't want to talk about this subject he went on,
"Cordelia told me this little problem of yours could be fixed."
Angel swore under his breath, "She should work for global mail," he ground
out through gritted teeth.
"I suppose she thought I should know."
"Oh, I know," the vampire still fumed. "It's nothing personal. I don't mind
you knowing it, Gunn, because I trust you," he added quickly. "But she's
sticking her nose into other people's business all the time, but this is my
decision to make."
"I hate to disagree with you, but this time you're wrong, man. This time it
seems the decision is already made for you, because seeing what's going to
happen, you don't really have a choice."
****
Xander had been dreaming about huge wedding cakes, crying mothers, a
stuttering priest and Anya turning into a demon the moment he lifted her
veil. So it had been more a nightmare than a dream and he was actually quite
happy to wake up although he hated finding himself in bed, bathed in sweat.
He inhaled deeply. Pre-wedding hysteria. There could be no other explanation
for that.
It would be all right. There would be no hellmouth opening, because Buffy
would prevent it and with Angel at her side and - he grudgingly admitted -
Spike their chances were definitely up. There would be no demons flooding
the earth, and no freeing of evil. Nada. Nope. Nothing. And he was going to
marry the girl he loved. And of course she wouldn't going to turn into a
demon at their wedding, Anya loved him. She was soundly sleeping beside him.
With a sigh, he turned his head and opened his eyes.
Nothing.
He blinked, but there was still nothing. Or rather nobody. There was an
empty spot beside him. No Anya. Panic seized through him, a cold hand
gripping his neck, he reached for the lamp on the nightstand, then took a
deep breath. It had been a nightmare. He was still in his apartment, and
there was no hellmouth. Well, there was, but it wasn't open.
Yet, Anya was still gone. The same moment he heard noises from the living
room. Anya? Up at four o'clock in the night? Something was definitely wrong.
Sighing again, he swung his feet over the side of his bed, then tapped, only
wearing his boxer-shorts, towards the noise.
He didn't know what he had expected, but this wasn't it. "What the hell are
you doing?" he asked, his voice sounding sharp, but somehow he didn't care.
"What do you think it looks like?" she replied, casually, not even looking
up from packing her suitcase.
"Maybe I'm already losing it, but I can't remember planning a vacation.
Besides. There is some prophecy-"
"Exactly," she interrupted him. "The prophecy. You don't think I'm going to
stay around for it, do you?"
Xander wouldn't have believed a pain like this was possible, not without a
weapon slicing through his skin, ripping his guts out, but now he knew it
was. And the disappointment was so strong, he wasn't sure he would be able
to make his voice work. "You... you're leaving?", choked out.
"Sure," she nodded, still not looking at him. When he didn't say anything,
she finally turned, a T-shirt in one hand. "Xander, they are going to try to
open the hellmouth. *That* would be bad. But they are planning so much
more. This is more than just bad. So don't expect me to stick around."
"No," he said simply, surprised that he could sound even bitterer than when
he'd told Buffy, Angel was more important to her than everybody else. "I
really shouldn't have. Running seems to be a specialty of yours," he added,
remembering the ascension when she'd left too. "But some stupid part of me
must have thought that you loved me enough to stay with me."
"Why, you don't think I'm leaving you, do you?" She seemed honestly
surprised by his words.
Xander's brows crunched, "You're not? But you just said-"
"You're coming with me of course," she pointed at the suitcase, "or why do
you think I'm packing all your shirts and trousers."
Her fiancé stared at her for a long time, then he slowly shook his head,
"You still don't get it, do you?" he asked. "Let me spell it out for you.
Slowly. They. Are. My. Friends. Friends, do you understand? Friends don't
leave each other in times like these."
"But... but that's not your duty. Buffy is the slayer. Angel and Spike lust
after her and will stay to help her. You're just human. Xander, opening the
gate of hell," she shook her head, "Armageddon is cake compared to that."
"And here I thought you really had changed," he wearily ran a hand over his
face. "You have to decide what you're doing," he said finally. "I'm going to
stay." He turned and was about to leave the room, then stopped in the
doorway and looked over his shoulder. "As long as you haven't decided I
think we probably shouldn't talk about the wedding anymore. I'm going to
tell my mother that the date might be delayed due to unexpected
circumstances. And another thing, whatever you do, please do it quietly. I'm
really tired."
With this, he left the room, and he never felt more like bawling than right
this moment. And he couldn't remember ever having felt so old.
****
"Angel!" Cordelia exclaimed happily when the vampire and the vampire-hunter
stepped into the mansion. "Gunn," there was no surprise in her voice.
"Hello Cordelia," Angel said and chuckled slightly at her display of
affection, then stepped inside, greeting Wesley as well. Then he raised a
brow, "Not that I'm not moved by this reception, but it's the middle of the
night or rather almost the end of it. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"
"Gunn called," the brunette explained. "He said you were on our way to
Sunnydale and that you had some information."
"Gunn and I persuaded a friend of ours to tell us about the prophecy." With
a side-glance at Wesley, Angel added, "I think Lindsey left L.A. - this time
for good. Anyways. He talked all right. I'm not sure he said all he knows,
but it was quite interesting."
"So what did he tell you?" Wesley asked, eager to get the news.
"It's not pretty. I just give you a short version now. I have to tell the
whole story tomorrow anyways. It seems there's a prophecy that says during
the time of a slayer who died twice," he looked pointedly at the former
watcher and saw Wesley nod, "there will be an increase of energy of the
hellmouth. That we already knew."
He shrugged his duster from his broad shoulders and deposed it on a chair.
"Wolfram & Hart have a new client, who is a vampire. Lindsey didn't know the
name. He said Holland wouldn't give him that bit of information. But to him
it looked rather ancient and powerful and it makes sense. Whoever is going
to try the ritual described in the prophecy has to be extremely powerful.
"Anyways. There is a constellation of stars in the night of the new moon,
that seems to favor the whole idea."
"The night of the new moon?" Wesley thought aloud. "That's three days from
now. Not really a lot of time to prepare. The power of the hellmouth is steadily
increasing," he reported, "Buffy and Spike staked 11 vampires tonight. It's
extraordinary. Also, Willow reported that three of the students in her class
are missing."
"Buffy's alright?" Angel asked concerned.
"Yes, yes," the former watcher assured him quickly. "Spike got hit, but it
isn't serious either." He smiled when he saw the vampire chuckle. The two
vampires might have made some kind of peace for the time being but there was no
love lost between them.
"It's going to get worse," Angel said after a moment. "They will have to
feed souls to the hellmouth the next days. A lot of them. Anya was pretty
exact with the details. She seems to have an amazing memory."
Cordelia had listened to the men for a while, but there was something she
couldn't understand and she asked almost the same question, Angel had asked
before, "Why are Wolfram & Hart involved in this? They're human. I can't
believe they want to die."
Angel shot Gunn a silencing look, then said, "It seems they're expecting
something from it. Then hope to stop the ritual in time. But this time
they're overestimating their powers. I think they don't have the slightest
idea what they're dealing with."
"What are they trying to gain?" Cordelia asked again.
The vampire shrugged, trying to find some good explanation for her, but this
time Gunn didn't back down. Looking steadily at his friend, he said, "If
you're not going to say it, I will." He saw Angel glare at him, but shook
his head. "No my friend. I already told you, this is far more than just your
personal business. I once saw you almost going down and we couldn't help.
I'm not going to watch again." Then he turned and looked at Wesley and
Cordelia, "What he didn't tell any of you is that part of the bargain is to
remove Angel's soul."
... to be continued
By Jill
The night air was good for clearing ones head, but Angel wasn't sure it
would be enough to clear the turmoil in his mind tonight. After their little
encounter with a first thorough mocking, in the end slightly panicked
lawyer, he had decided he'd head back for Sunnydale rather tonight than
tomorrow. He'd gotten all the information possible. He just hoped it was
enough.
He still couldn't get over Anya's last remark about the hellmouth
swallowing the slayer. He held Buffy's presumed dead body in his arms years
ago and he went through the agony of her dying without him these last
months. He simply couldn't see her die again.
He was sure that Lindsey had told them the truth. He mocked him and Gunn at
first, but then the lawyer realized the vampire hadn't come to play games
and began talking. To say it had been interesting would be understatement.
It was shocking, terrifying, and filling his veins with icy horror he'd rarely
felt before.
Angel knew instantly he had to go back. He was sure Spike would look out for
Buffy, because he had seen the expression of love on his childe's face, but
he needed to go back. This time she wouldn't face evil alone, he would be at
her side, to protect her or die trying. It wasn't that his Shanshu meant
nothing to him. On the contrary, it was important. Not in the way that he
would be human in some distant, unknown future, probably when Buffy was long
gone and his wish to see her in the sunlight would never come true.
No, it was the knowledge that redemption was possible. Even for him, who'd
taken thousands of lives, had tortured, without conscience, without mercy.
Had fed the demon with his own personal hatred for his father and the rest
of the world that didn't love him and welcome him the way he had wanted.
Yes, he knew it had been the demon who had killed and tortured, and yes,
there were times when even Angel thought it was a little bit unfair that he
suffered for that, but then he thought back about a dark alley in Galway
when he had allowed a beautiful woman to promise him everything he longed
for. He realized that whatever the demon might have done wouldn't have
happened if he hadn't agreed to become a vampire in the first place.
Of course, he hadn't really understood what it meant to be a vampire, but he
had agreed nevertheless, had never asked, never wanted to know.
And then there was this traitorous part of him that couldn't really damn the
fact he was a vampire. As a human, he'd be dead and dust by now. Only the
fact that he was a vampire, immortal, had him brought to Sunnydale, to Buffy.
Shanshu or not, for Angel she was his real redemption. The fact that a
creature like her, a girl, never doing anything but fighting the good fight,
could fall in love with him, could love him unconditionally, something he'd
never dared to dream.
He thought back about Cordelia's words about him trying to punish himself
and although he had denied it then, he couldn't do it now. Not completely.
He doubted, had always doubted, that he was worth being loved like that, and
by a woman like her. That she would see the good in him and push all the
darkness aside. But how could she when darkness was surrounding him
everywhere? He even had to avoid sunlight. How was he worth her as creature
that feared the sun?
To pull her with him. Into the darkness. To take the sunlight from her as
well. No, he hadn't been able to do that. Now, where a discovery of Willow's
was occupying a large part of his thoughts he tried to figure out if it had
been for her or for himself as well. And there was that uneasy feeling growing
inside of him that it hadn't been completely unselfish.
Angel didn't like thinking that way. No, he didn't like it at all.
"How long?"
The question startled him out of his thoughts and glanced to his side where
Gunn was sitting and looking at him. He had insisted in coming with him to
Sunnydale and Angel hadn't even tried to argue. If it was true - and he knew
it was - what Lindsey had told them, they would need all the help they could get.
Gunn had even promised to inform his friends tomorrow and get them to drive
down to the hellmouth.
"About ten minutes," the vampire replied.
Gunn nodded and looked straightforward. "It's some mighty shit were going to
face, man."
"Yeah," Angel agreed, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.
There was another minute of silence before the African American spoke again,
"You believe that scum of a lawyer?"
"Usually, no," the vampire replied. "But this time. Yeah. Unfortunately I
think he told the truth."
"That's no good," Gunn exhaled a sharp breath. "You think they're going
through with it. They're really trying to open the gate of hell?"
"Yes," Angel nodded, not taking his eyes from the road. "Yet, I'm not quite
sure what Wolfram & Hart will win through it. They're human. Evil, sure. But
still human. I can't understand what they're gaining by freeing the heart of
evil."
Gunn cracked an eyebrow and slightly turned his head, "You can't? I'd say
it's clear as day what they're after. Our friend Lindsey was quite specific
about that." He saw Angel shift uncomfortably on his seat and although he
knew the vampire didn't want to talk about this subject he went on,
"Cordelia told me this little problem of yours could be fixed."
Angel swore under his breath, "She should work for global mail," he ground
out through gritted teeth.
"I suppose she thought I should know."
"Oh, I know," the vampire still fumed. "It's nothing personal. I don't mind
you knowing it, Gunn, because I trust you," he added quickly. "But she's
sticking her nose into other people's business all the time, but this is my
decision to make."
"I hate to disagree with you, but this time you're wrong, man. This time it
seems the decision is already made for you, because seeing what's going to
happen, you don't really have a choice."
****
Xander had been dreaming about huge wedding cakes, crying mothers, a
stuttering priest and Anya turning into a demon the moment he lifted her
veil. So it had been more a nightmare than a dream and he was actually quite
happy to wake up although he hated finding himself in bed, bathed in sweat.
He inhaled deeply. Pre-wedding hysteria. There could be no other explanation
for that.
It would be all right. There would be no hellmouth opening, because Buffy
would prevent it and with Angel at her side and - he grudgingly admitted -
Spike their chances were definitely up. There would be no demons flooding
the earth, and no freeing of evil. Nada. Nope. Nothing. And he was going to
marry the girl he loved. And of course she wouldn't going to turn into a
demon at their wedding, Anya loved him. She was soundly sleeping beside him.
With a sigh, he turned his head and opened his eyes.
Nothing.
He blinked, but there was still nothing. Or rather nobody. There was an
empty spot beside him. No Anya. Panic seized through him, a cold hand
gripping his neck, he reached for the lamp on the nightstand, then took a
deep breath. It had been a nightmare. He was still in his apartment, and
there was no hellmouth. Well, there was, but it wasn't open.
Yet, Anya was still gone. The same moment he heard noises from the living
room. Anya? Up at four o'clock in the night? Something was definitely wrong.
Sighing again, he swung his feet over the side of his bed, then tapped, only
wearing his boxer-shorts, towards the noise.
He didn't know what he had expected, but this wasn't it. "What the hell are
you doing?" he asked, his voice sounding sharp, but somehow he didn't care.
"What do you think it looks like?" she replied, casually, not even looking
up from packing her suitcase.
"Maybe I'm already losing it, but I can't remember planning a vacation.
Besides. There is some prophecy-"
"Exactly," she interrupted him. "The prophecy. You don't think I'm going to
stay around for it, do you?"
Xander wouldn't have believed a pain like this was possible, not without a
weapon slicing through his skin, ripping his guts out, but now he knew it
was. And the disappointment was so strong, he wasn't sure he would be able
to make his voice work. "You... you're leaving?", choked out.
"Sure," she nodded, still not looking at him. When he didn't say anything,
she finally turned, a T-shirt in one hand. "Xander, they are going to try to
open the hellmouth. *That* would be bad. But they are planning so much
more. This is more than just bad. So don't expect me to stick around."
"No," he said simply, surprised that he could sound even bitterer than when
he'd told Buffy, Angel was more important to her than everybody else. "I
really shouldn't have. Running seems to be a specialty of yours," he added,
remembering the ascension when she'd left too. "But some stupid part of me
must have thought that you loved me enough to stay with me."
"Why, you don't think I'm leaving you, do you?" She seemed honestly
surprised by his words.
Xander's brows crunched, "You're not? But you just said-"
"You're coming with me of course," she pointed at the suitcase, "or why do
you think I'm packing all your shirts and trousers."
Her fiancé stared at her for a long time, then he slowly shook his head,
"You still don't get it, do you?" he asked. "Let me spell it out for you.
Slowly. They. Are. My. Friends. Friends, do you understand? Friends don't
leave each other in times like these."
"But... but that's not your duty. Buffy is the slayer. Angel and Spike lust
after her and will stay to help her. You're just human. Xander, opening the
gate of hell," she shook her head, "Armageddon is cake compared to that."
"And here I thought you really had changed," he wearily ran a hand over his
face. "You have to decide what you're doing," he said finally. "I'm going to
stay." He turned and was about to leave the room, then stopped in the
doorway and looked over his shoulder. "As long as you haven't decided I
think we probably shouldn't talk about the wedding anymore. I'm going to
tell my mother that the date might be delayed due to unexpected
circumstances. And another thing, whatever you do, please do it quietly. I'm
really tired."
With this, he left the room, and he never felt more like bawling than right
this moment. And he couldn't remember ever having felt so old.
****
"Angel!" Cordelia exclaimed happily when the vampire and the vampire-hunter
stepped into the mansion. "Gunn," there was no surprise in her voice.
"Hello Cordelia," Angel said and chuckled slightly at her display of
affection, then stepped inside, greeting Wesley as well. Then he raised a
brow, "Not that I'm not moved by this reception, but it's the middle of the
night or rather almost the end of it. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"
"Gunn called," the brunette explained. "He said you were on our way to
Sunnydale and that you had some information."
"Gunn and I persuaded a friend of ours to tell us about the prophecy." With
a side-glance at Wesley, Angel added, "I think Lindsey left L.A. - this time
for good. Anyways. He talked all right. I'm not sure he said all he knows,
but it was quite interesting."
"So what did he tell you?" Wesley asked, eager to get the news.
"It's not pretty. I just give you a short version now. I have to tell the
whole story tomorrow anyways. It seems there's a prophecy that says during
the time of a slayer who died twice," he looked pointedly at the former
watcher and saw Wesley nod, "there will be an increase of energy of the
hellmouth. That we already knew."
He shrugged his duster from his broad shoulders and deposed it on a chair.
"Wolfram & Hart have a new client, who is a vampire. Lindsey didn't know the
name. He said Holland wouldn't give him that bit of information. But to him
it looked rather ancient and powerful and it makes sense. Whoever is going
to try the ritual described in the prophecy has to be extremely powerful.
"Anyways. There is a constellation of stars in the night of the new moon,
that seems to favor the whole idea."
"The night of the new moon?" Wesley thought aloud. "That's three days from
now. Not really a lot of time to prepare. The power of the hellmouth is steadily
increasing," he reported, "Buffy and Spike staked 11 vampires tonight. It's
extraordinary. Also, Willow reported that three of the students in her class
are missing."
"Buffy's alright?" Angel asked concerned.
"Yes, yes," the former watcher assured him quickly. "Spike got hit, but it
isn't serious either." He smiled when he saw the vampire chuckle. The two
vampires might have made some kind of peace for the time being but there was no
love lost between them.
"It's going to get worse," Angel said after a moment. "They will have to
feed souls to the hellmouth the next days. A lot of them. Anya was pretty
exact with the details. She seems to have an amazing memory."
Cordelia had listened to the men for a while, but there was something she
couldn't understand and she asked almost the same question, Angel had asked
before, "Why are Wolfram & Hart involved in this? They're human. I can't
believe they want to die."
Angel shot Gunn a silencing look, then said, "It seems they're expecting
something from it. Then hope to stop the ritual in time. But this time
they're overestimating their powers. I think they don't have the slightest
idea what they're dealing with."
"What are they trying to gain?" Cordelia asked again.
The vampire shrugged, trying to find some good explanation for her, but this
time Gunn didn't back down. Looking steadily at his friend, he said, "If
you're not going to say it, I will." He saw Angel glare at him, but shook
his head. "No my friend. I already told you, this is far more than just your
personal business. I once saw you almost going down and we couldn't help.
I'm not going to watch again." Then he turned and looked at Wesley and
Cordelia, "What he didn't tell any of you is that part of the bargain is to
remove Angel's soul."
... to be continued