After Rei and I talked for a bit, I called the others to tell them I would walk home. Of course they wouldn't let me, and sent Haruka to come get me. I sat outside looking up at the stars until she arrived. Every time I looked at the stars, I felt at home, at peace. The stars were so pretty, I got lost in them, in their magnificence. They were so big, yet looked so small to others, that they reminded me of myself. Not that I'm saying that I'm big, but… oh well; I'm not fighting that losing battle with myself.
Haruka chose that time to pull up in her car, and we pretty much spent the carried home in silence. I didn't have much to say in the first place, so we kept it to small talk. The vibes I got off her were practically screaming 'Get away, you're starting to freak me out.' I didn't care much… well, that I was willing to admit to. It really hurt deep down, but I pushed those feelings aside. I didn't need to be dwelling on my emotions, so much as what I may need to do… What if I'm the girl from these stupid visions? Stop, too much to think about.
When we got home, I silently went up to my room, receiving a couple worried glances on the way, but I just wanted to be alone. I locked the door, changed to my pyjamas and crawled into bed, looking out the window. The sky was still starry, but dark clouds were slowly covering the stars from view. I was very tired, but I was too scared to try to fall asleep. What if I get another vision? The last one I had of the unnamed shadow freaked me out for days… I turned on my CD player and placed a random disk inside. I turned it on and gazed back out the window as the soft music started. Usually, I didn't listen to music much, just preferred the silence – frickin irony – but tonight I didn't want to feel alone, and music helped fill some of the void…
Catch your breath, hit the wall
Scream out loud as you start to crawl
Back in your cage, the only place
Where they will leave you alone…
What's gonna happen to me? Am I going to be alone for the rest of my life, if I survive this horror show? That really scared me, being alone. Not really literally, I liked being all by myself, because I controlled whether I was with other people, or whether I was by myself. It was the other kind of being alone that scared be, the kind I couldn't control… was I destined to be alone for the rest of my existence? Will I die not knowing what love is?
Till they've broken them
Could you get it back again?
Would it be the same?
Fulfilment to their lack of strength
At your expense
Left you with no defence
They tore it down…
Eventually, will I have to come to blows with Mistress 9? Setsuna told me about her, and how she took over my mind, and I was slightly afraid of her, even though I had no memories of her. I didn't want to let her take control, not to hurt my family again…
And I have felt the same as you…
Locked inside the only place
Where you feel sheltered, where you feel safe
You lost yourself in your search to find
Something else to hide behind…
Maybe I should just get away from every one. I don't want to hide behind them; I'd rather be the one pushing them out of the path of danger. I wouldn't be able to exist if I knew that they were hurt because of me.
The fearful always preyed upon
Your confidence
Did they see the consequence?
When they pushed you around
The arrogant built kingdoms made
Of the different ones
Breaking them 'till they've become
Just another crown
Am I really that un-likeable? Kids at school never stopped teasing me and being afraid of me. I tried everything I could think of to be nice, going out of my way…Maybe it's not me, they're just too arrogant and self-centred to care about others… right?
And I have felt the same as you…
Refuse to feel anything at all
Refuse to slip, refuse to fall
Can't be weak, can't stand still
You watch your back 'cause no one will…
Maybe their right, maybe they see something I don't. I must be worthless, not worthy if this. If I'm the soldier of Death, is that my only purpose? So what happens if death fails? Is that the end of the world? And who would look out for death, knowing what could happen to them, anyways?
You don't know why they had to go this far
Traded your worth for your scars
For your only company
Don't believe the lies that they have told to you
Not one word was true
You're alright, you're alright, you're alright…
Who knows where these thoughts were coming from, was it just my imagination, or was I trying to psyche myself out? By the time the song had ended, I could barely keep my eyes open, much to my dismay. The last thing I thought before I drifted off was how true the song lyrics were. They really hit a nerve…
*****
Chibi-Usa sat silently in the bathtub, thinking about Hotaru as her and Usagi bathed. 'Hotaru, what's happening to you?' She thought as she slowly rubbed soap over her arms. Usagi noticed Chibi-Usa's pensiveness as she sat down in the tub of warm water.
"What's wrong, Chibi-Usa? You're too quiet!" Usagi said happily as she splashed her future daughter.
"Hey!" she sputtered as the water snapped her out of her deep thinking. She splashed back, and soon a water fight erupted, and continued until Usagi's mother knocked on the door and told them to stop.
"So what's on your mind? Is it Hotaru? I'm sure she'll be fine, Chibi-Usa. She's much stronger now, you must know that." Usagi said, trying to quell her own lurking doubts. 'This seems awfully familiar… haven't we had this exact conversation before?' Usagi thought, as she washed her hair.
"I know, but still, everything is sooo confusing! I finally know how Setsuna feels, being the guardian of time." Chibi-Usa said with a sigh.
"Huh? Oh right, cause you're been told about the future and everything…" Usagi said, understanding and not pushing the topic any further.
"What about Mistress 9? She told us that she'd be back… what'll happen then?" Chibi-Usa asked, looking up at Usagi with sad eyes.
"I don't know, Chibi-Usa. I just don't know…"
*****
In a dark alleyway, away from unsuspecting eyes, spirits appeared out of a portal and materialized into shadows. The shadow spirits hid themselves in the dark corners of the alley as a group of people walked by. When the coast was clear, the spirits swept up along the walls and rooftops towards their target's location. They flew along silently, until they came up to a large two-story house, where they peered into the windows searching for their quarry.
"Is that her?"
"No… too old…"
"Here…"
"She's over here…"
"… Tell the Master we've located her…"
*****
Haruka was typing at her computer when Michiru rushed into the room, obviously nervous and unsettled about something.
"Don't you feel it???" Michiru said sternly as she turned off the computer.
"Feel what?" Haruka asked, annoyed at being interrupted and angered at the loss of her unsaved work. She turned to Michiru, but paused, as she seemed to notice something. Michiru saw her face lose its colour and fear take over her features. "Good Lord…"
"I'm surprised you didn't feel it earlier!" Michiru said as she looked out the window.
"How could they have gotten so powerful so fast?" Haruka said as she got up from the desk and started to pace. "Oh no… they're close by…"
"HOTARU!" they both yelled simultaneously as they ran from the room and up the stairs. When they reached the room, they both gasped. Setsuna was leaning over the bed trying to wake Hotaru up, who was having a nightmare. Hotaru's hair clung to her sweat-soaked skin, and her face was contorted in a look of pain and anguish. Michiru ran over and placed a hand on her forehead, trying to mentally ease some of her pain, but had to break the psychic link when she felt a foreign entity push her away. In that brief moment, Michiru felt the horror that Hotaru was suffering through, and almost collapsed as the dark emotions and fears washed over her, staining her soul.
"What is it Michiru? What's the matter?" Haruka asked as she caught her and eased her onto the bed. Michiru held her head and tried to clear it from all the negative energies that threatened to overwhelm her.
"The… pain. Someone's attacking her thoughts… scaring her… she feels frightened beyond belief… and alone. The pain that she's going through… that negative force is trying to destroy her… " Michiru said, tears forming in her eyes. "I only felt it for a second, and I'm this bad off…"
"Rei'll be here any minute… I called her and the others when I first couldn't wake her up." Setsuna said, still trying to rouse the dreaming girl. She placed her hand on her cheek, then on her forehead. "Whatever's hurting her, it's doing so physically as well as mentally. She's got a fever… and a high one…" Setsuna went off to fetch some medicine and cold compresses, and Haruka and Michiru kept trying to wake her up.
*****
I felt cold. Like I was swimming in the Arctic Ocean.
I couldn't see anything around me. I could almost say the usual, I've been
dreaming so much recently, but this was different… too real. My skin felt damp
and was covered in goose bumps, which usually wasn't that bad, but the average
dream didn't go into such detail. Survey says… this ain't no average dream.
Shitty…
I took a couple steps forward, trying to take control
and find out what was happening. It's like someone was toying with me, keeping
me waiting. Maybe I should transform… I went to my back pocket, where my
henshin wand should be, but it wasn't there… I am sooo screwed.
Suddenly my wand appeared hovering in front of my
face. As I reached out to grab it, a young girl's voice whispered out to me,
mocking my efforts.
"Looking for this?" the child's voice rang out like a
warm knife through butter. I knew that voice…
"CHIBI-USA?" I called out to her, and she appeared out
of the shadows. She held her hand out to offer me the wand, but as I was about
to touch it, she pulled it away, and it disappeared out of her hand. She just
continued to look at me innocently, like she knew a secret and wasn't going to
tell me, just tease me with the fact that she knew and I didn't.
"Want to play a game?" She asked in a sugary sweet
voice. A voice that wasn't quite her own. It sounded more adult, almost…
malevolent.
I slowly backed away from her… that wasn't her. She
smiled her little cruel smile. "Well, I guess you're not as dumb as I made you
out to be. A pity…" She said cruelly as she dissipated into the darkness. I
heard voices cry out my name from the darkness, and saw hundreds of shadows
reach out for me. I tried to push them away, but they kept coming after me, some
with hands of fire, and others with daggers of ice. I tried to move away from
them, but found that my hands and feet were tied to a large crucifix. I
screamed out, but found that my voice was caught in my throat as a cold hand
surrounded my neck…
I woke up with a startled cry, and touched my neck and
arms to make sure it was all just a dream. I saw that I was leaning against the
window in my room. The sky had clouded over, and the moon and stars were hidden
from view. I wasn't tired anymore, and it was late, so as I assumed the others
were in bed, I went down the stairs and into the TV room. As I turned on the
television, the news came on, and as I was about to turn the channel, I heard
the announcer's voice…
"… Were sent to the downtown area after a massive
attack left the district in ruin. A suspect has not been named as of late, but
the death toll is in the 5000's… Among the few living witnesses, the common
testimony was that the elusive Sailor Scouts appeared on the scene, but were
seen to have been defeated during the attack… "
I couldn't believe my ears. I didn't believe my ears.
Dead? Nope. Not even a chance, this is all just a dream, right? What
un-original terrorist thought this up? Um… but I woke up, didn't I? I ran out
of the house, and before I knew it, almost seconds later, I was standing in the
downtown ruins. Oh god…this really happened? Because of me? The streets were
left in complete ruin, with bodies everywhere. I ran, looking for the bodies of
my allegedly fallen comrades. I didn't find them, all I found were ribbons. Red
ones, green ones, pink ones… Oh no… Was this really happening? I felt a tear
run down my cheek as a garnet coloured ribbon blew past my face. My arm shot
out to grab it, and as I looked at it, I saw bloodstains on it.
"NO!!!" I screamed out to anyone who could hear me.
This can't be real. "It's only a dream!" I screamed out, trying to convince
myself that it wasn't real.
"My dream, your nightmare…" a heavy voice breathed out
in my ear. I spun around to find an empty street behind me.
"Show yourself, coward!" I yelled out, wanting to see
who had done this… this… slaughter. I heard maniacal laughter all around me,
coming from every corned of the abandoned street. I started to run away from
the laughter, to hide from it's evil nature, but it followed me wherever I ran.
I felt something brush up against my skin, something cold and soft, and I
turned around to see myself surrounded by hundreds of children's faces staring
back at me.
"Who are you?" I asked them, haunted by their innocent
expressions. Their faces held a hidden sorrow that it made me afraid of them.
They were young, but evil at the same time.
"You don't know?"
"…You should…"
"…You don't recognize all the innocent lives you've
taken…"
"Pity, we remember you…"
"… Murderer…" I spun around to the small girl that
said the last part. She had long, pitch-black hair, and deep, soulless eyes.
She must have been around 6 years old, but had the coldest, most malevolent
expression on her that sent chills down my spine. In her one hand, she held a
porcelain doll with a serene, but empty look to her features. In the other, she
held a bloodstained knife, thick red blood still dripping from it. All the
others faded away, leaving only her and myself. Behind her I saw the bodies off
Usagi and the others, horribly mutilated, lying in pools of blood. I backed
away from the small girl as she closed in on me. She started growing, getting
taller and older, until she was Mistress 9.
"You…" I said, still backing away from her. I felt
something stir directly behind myself and as I turned, someone placed a cold
hand over my mouth. I looked up into the most soulless, inhuman eyes I had ever
seen…