"Bloody hell" exclaimed Spike, falling off of the sarcophagus he was sleeping on.
"Did anyone ever tell you that you say that entirely too much?" said Buffy staring down at him.
"Sod off" he replied, picking himself up off of the floor.
"Now William, be nice," said another voice.
Both Buffy and Spike looked at the newcomer of course it was Vampy. She had forgone wearing her "work clothes" and was now dressed as a normal mortal teenager. She was wearing faded black jeans and black tube top with a red silk shirt over it. Buffy giggled noticing the angel's choice of clothing and Spike gave his angel a glare.
"Style biting now are we, pet?" he snapped.
"Touchy touchy, William" she replied "I happen to like the colors black and red too ya know"
"So Vampy, why the costume change?" asked Buffy
"Well 'they' decided to effectively watch Spike that I have to follow him around on earth instead of popping up out of nowhere" she replied.
"Well that's just soddin' great, now I have to deal with the two most annoying women on earth, the Slayer and my bloomin' guardian angel!" Spike said to himself, ignoring the looks the women were giving him.
"Yes well we have a patrolling session to get to so if you don't mind..." said Buffy looking at Spike expectantly. He gave her a glare and grabbed his duster of his armchair.
"I expect you'll be joining us?" she asked turning to Vampy.
"Yup, I'll fill you in on this situation you and William are supposed to stop" Vampy replied.
"Situation?" said Spike.
"Ooops! Didn't I mention it earlier?" asked Vampy sheepishly.
"No, pet. You failed to bring it up," growled Spike.
"Down boy" said Buffy "What is this situation that we all of a sudden have to deal with?"
"Well, you guys aren't gonna like this but you're have to save the world" Vampy replied.
"Again?!" shouted Buffy and Spike in unison. Spike plopped down in his chair and Buffy started to pace.
"But I did this already! What do they want me to do now?!" she yelled, pausing in front of the angel.
"Have you seen the movie Bedazzled? I know William has" said Vampy shooting a smirk Spikes way. He promptly flipped her the bird then he heard a voice inside his head.
*Don't worry, I won't tell her that you imagined her in Elizabeth Hurley's place*
"Yeah, Isn't that the one that where the chick from Austin Powers plays the devil?" asked Buffy.
"That's the one," replied the angel.
"What does that have to do with saving the world?" asked Buffy
"Well, you have to keep the devil from taking over heaven and all the souls there. Earth is the battle field," said Vampy quietly.
"Fuck!" muttered Spike.
"You haven't heard the worst of it," Vampy continued, "You, Spike, and the Scoobies have been appointed heavens champions, in other words...You're earths angels"
"Oh, not good. Sooo not good." said Buffy, resuming her pacing. "Looks like were due for a trip to Giles'" The vampire and slayer began to head out the door.
"That's not all Slayer," said Vampy, her voice stopping the two from heading out the door.
"What the hell is it now?!" growled Spike.
"You two and the Scoobies will be given powers to use against Allie's army but I don't know what they are yet or who will get what power." Vampy replied.
"Do we know when we'll get these powers?" Buffy questioned.
"You should get them by midnight tonight, so I suggest you call everyone and get them gathered at the watchers as well." answered Vampy.
Suddenly the two women heard a banging noise coming from the other side of the crypt. They turned to the direction of the noise; Spike was banging his head against one wall of the crypt.
"Stupid bang freakin bang knob. bang Why bang me?" he said in between bangs.
"Spike! What the hell are you doing? We need you conscious!" Buffy yelled, smacking the blonde vampire upside the head.
"Slayer, In case you haven't noticed I am not happy about all this! I signed up to help you with patrols and the occasional bad guy, I didn't sign up to save the whole sodding world!" Spike yelled.
"Ok enough of this!" yelled a voice.
Buffy jumped into a fighting stance, Spike went game face and threw himself in front of Buffy. Buffy dropped out of her stance and looked at Spike, confused. Vampy looked at them both and tried to conceal her smile. Spike glared at the newcomer.
"And who might you be, mate?" he said, his voice low and deadly.
The man raised an eyebrow at him then looked towards Vampy. Vampy giggled and went over to him. The man gave her a peck on the cheek and wrapped his arms around her waist. The two blondes stared at the angel like she was nuts.
"William, Buffy I would like to meet Cu...I mean um Matt" said Vampy, glad that she hadn't let Matt's real identity slip.
Buffy pushed Spike out of the way, and went over to shake Matt's hand. Spike stayed in game face, still eyeing the man. *It's not polite to stare, Spikey* said Vampy, inside his head. He looked at his angel then let his game face faded away.
"Hello Buffy" said Matt/Cupid "And William"
"The name is SPIKE! What is with all you magical types calling me by that poncy name?" said Spike angrily.
"Has a bit of a temper on him doesn't he?" Matt/Cupid said to Vampy, making her giggle again.
"Oh there's something else I forgot to tell you guys!" said Vampy.
"Great, what is it now?" Spike muttered.
"You can't call me Vampy while I am here on earth, Allie, you know the devil isn't supposed to know I am working with you guys."
"The devil is a woman and her name is Allie? Wait why can't we call you Vampy?" asked Buffy.
"Part demon, remember? She can um...kill me" Vampy replied weakly, hoping they wouldn't know she was holding something back. 'Matt' looked at her sharply but said nothing and Spike gave her a suspicious look.
"Okay, so what do we call you then?" asked Buffy.
"You can call me by my real name...Ilianna," said Vampy quietly.
"Ilianna? Pretty name..." Buffy murmured.
"Yeah, It was my name before...before she..." Vampy stuttered, tears forming in her eyes.
"Shh, it's okay my love. Don't think about it or we'll never get anything done" 'Matt' whispered in her ear.
"Alright people enough of this! We've got a world to save and we're not going to save it by standing around here boo-hooing" said Spike angrily.
"You are such a jerk! Your own guardian angel is having a crisis and you don't care!" yelled Buffy.
"Slayer I..." Spike started.
"I don't want to hear it Spike!" said Buffy cutting him off, going out of the door.
"Sla-Buffy wait!" Spike called after her.
Vampy and Cupid were left alone in the crypt. Vampy sighed and extracted her self from Cupid's embrace, avoiding his gaze.
"Illy? Sweetie, are you gonna be okay?" Cupid asked gently.
"Yeah, I'll be alright. I almost let it slip about...about HER didn't I?" she replied.
"Don't worry about it, baby. She won't know you're you, you've got me, your charge, and the Slayer to help protect you if she does find out." said Matt/Cupid going over and hugging his love. She snuggled into his arms.
"What are you doing here anyway?" Vampy asked.
"Doing my job and helping you..." he replied.
"Well you're not doing that good of a job seeing as the two bottle blondes just left," Vampy said with a small smile.
"Since when do you care about the love biz?" asked Cupid.
"Since William is madly in love with the slayer," she replied.
"Well she loves him too" said Cupid "Ooops!"
"What?! Wait, she loves GI Joe!" exclaimed Vampy.
"Um, Race you to the watchers!" Cupid said, disappearing.
"Tayo! Cupie! You aren't getting off that easy!" called Vampy...disappearing also. The exclamation of "Damn Men!" ringing off the walls of the empty crypt.
Series TBC
"Did anyone ever tell you that you say that entirely too much?" said Buffy staring down at him.
"Sod off" he replied, picking himself up off of the floor.
"Now William, be nice," said another voice.
Both Buffy and Spike looked at the newcomer of course it was Vampy. She had forgone wearing her "work clothes" and was now dressed as a normal mortal teenager. She was wearing faded black jeans and black tube top with a red silk shirt over it. Buffy giggled noticing the angel's choice of clothing and Spike gave his angel a glare.
"Style biting now are we, pet?" he snapped.
"Touchy touchy, William" she replied "I happen to like the colors black and red too ya know"
"So Vampy, why the costume change?" asked Buffy
"Well 'they' decided to effectively watch Spike that I have to follow him around on earth instead of popping up out of nowhere" she replied.
"Well that's just soddin' great, now I have to deal with the two most annoying women on earth, the Slayer and my bloomin' guardian angel!" Spike said to himself, ignoring the looks the women were giving him.
"Yes well we have a patrolling session to get to so if you don't mind..." said Buffy looking at Spike expectantly. He gave her a glare and grabbed his duster of his armchair.
"I expect you'll be joining us?" she asked turning to Vampy.
"Yup, I'll fill you in on this situation you and William are supposed to stop" Vampy replied.
"Situation?" said Spike.
"Ooops! Didn't I mention it earlier?" asked Vampy sheepishly.
"No, pet. You failed to bring it up," growled Spike.
"Down boy" said Buffy "What is this situation that we all of a sudden have to deal with?"
"Well, you guys aren't gonna like this but you're have to save the world" Vampy replied.
"Again?!" shouted Buffy and Spike in unison. Spike plopped down in his chair and Buffy started to pace.
"But I did this already! What do they want me to do now?!" she yelled, pausing in front of the angel.
"Have you seen the movie Bedazzled? I know William has" said Vampy shooting a smirk Spikes way. He promptly flipped her the bird then he heard a voice inside his head.
*Don't worry, I won't tell her that you imagined her in Elizabeth Hurley's place*
"Yeah, Isn't that the one that where the chick from Austin Powers plays the devil?" asked Buffy.
"That's the one," replied the angel.
"What does that have to do with saving the world?" asked Buffy
"Well, you have to keep the devil from taking over heaven and all the souls there. Earth is the battle field," said Vampy quietly.
"Fuck!" muttered Spike.
"You haven't heard the worst of it," Vampy continued, "You, Spike, and the Scoobies have been appointed heavens champions, in other words...You're earths angels"
"Oh, not good. Sooo not good." said Buffy, resuming her pacing. "Looks like were due for a trip to Giles'" The vampire and slayer began to head out the door.
"That's not all Slayer," said Vampy, her voice stopping the two from heading out the door.
"What the hell is it now?!" growled Spike.
"You two and the Scoobies will be given powers to use against Allie's army but I don't know what they are yet or who will get what power." Vampy replied.
"Do we know when we'll get these powers?" Buffy questioned.
"You should get them by midnight tonight, so I suggest you call everyone and get them gathered at the watchers as well." answered Vampy.
Suddenly the two women heard a banging noise coming from the other side of the crypt. They turned to the direction of the noise; Spike was banging his head against one wall of the crypt.
"Stupid bang freakin bang knob. bang Why bang me?" he said in between bangs.
"Spike! What the hell are you doing? We need you conscious!" Buffy yelled, smacking the blonde vampire upside the head.
"Slayer, In case you haven't noticed I am not happy about all this! I signed up to help you with patrols and the occasional bad guy, I didn't sign up to save the whole sodding world!" Spike yelled.
"Ok enough of this!" yelled a voice.
Buffy jumped into a fighting stance, Spike went game face and threw himself in front of Buffy. Buffy dropped out of her stance and looked at Spike, confused. Vampy looked at them both and tried to conceal her smile. Spike glared at the newcomer.
"And who might you be, mate?" he said, his voice low and deadly.
The man raised an eyebrow at him then looked towards Vampy. Vampy giggled and went over to him. The man gave her a peck on the cheek and wrapped his arms around her waist. The two blondes stared at the angel like she was nuts.
"William, Buffy I would like to meet Cu...I mean um Matt" said Vampy, glad that she hadn't let Matt's real identity slip.
Buffy pushed Spike out of the way, and went over to shake Matt's hand. Spike stayed in game face, still eyeing the man. *It's not polite to stare, Spikey* said Vampy, inside his head. He looked at his angel then let his game face faded away.
"Hello Buffy" said Matt/Cupid "And William"
"The name is SPIKE! What is with all you magical types calling me by that poncy name?" said Spike angrily.
"Has a bit of a temper on him doesn't he?" Matt/Cupid said to Vampy, making her giggle again.
"Oh there's something else I forgot to tell you guys!" said Vampy.
"Great, what is it now?" Spike muttered.
"You can't call me Vampy while I am here on earth, Allie, you know the devil isn't supposed to know I am working with you guys."
"The devil is a woman and her name is Allie? Wait why can't we call you Vampy?" asked Buffy.
"Part demon, remember? She can um...kill me" Vampy replied weakly, hoping they wouldn't know she was holding something back. 'Matt' looked at her sharply but said nothing and Spike gave her a suspicious look.
"Okay, so what do we call you then?" asked Buffy.
"You can call me by my real name...Ilianna," said Vampy quietly.
"Ilianna? Pretty name..." Buffy murmured.
"Yeah, It was my name before...before she..." Vampy stuttered, tears forming in her eyes.
"Shh, it's okay my love. Don't think about it or we'll never get anything done" 'Matt' whispered in her ear.
"Alright people enough of this! We've got a world to save and we're not going to save it by standing around here boo-hooing" said Spike angrily.
"You are such a jerk! Your own guardian angel is having a crisis and you don't care!" yelled Buffy.
"Slayer I..." Spike started.
"I don't want to hear it Spike!" said Buffy cutting him off, going out of the door.
"Sla-Buffy wait!" Spike called after her.
Vampy and Cupid were left alone in the crypt. Vampy sighed and extracted her self from Cupid's embrace, avoiding his gaze.
"Illy? Sweetie, are you gonna be okay?" Cupid asked gently.
"Yeah, I'll be alright. I almost let it slip about...about HER didn't I?" she replied.
"Don't worry about it, baby. She won't know you're you, you've got me, your charge, and the Slayer to help protect you if she does find out." said Matt/Cupid going over and hugging his love. She snuggled into his arms.
"What are you doing here anyway?" Vampy asked.
"Doing my job and helping you..." he replied.
"Well you're not doing that good of a job seeing as the two bottle blondes just left," Vampy said with a small smile.
"Since when do you care about the love biz?" asked Cupid.
"Since William is madly in love with the slayer," she replied.
"Well she loves him too" said Cupid "Ooops!"
"What?! Wait, she loves GI Joe!" exclaimed Vampy.
"Um, Race you to the watchers!" Cupid said, disappearing.
"Tayo! Cupie! You aren't getting off that easy!" called Vampy...disappearing also. The exclamation of "Damn Men!" ringing off the walls of the empty crypt.
Series TBC